🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

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Sekhmet666 said:
There is nothing humiliating about a man or a filthy vampirate emotionally abusing and intimidating you for months, then getting arrested for standing up for yourself.
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We need top secret info on the Tennessee Tater who has been donating to his GFM. Also, the dark-haired fake gypsy, and that fake "occult priestess" with the rotten teeth. We know that wherever he is, it is with an Emotional Support Potato.

Ex-squad MOUNT UP!

You know a female is going to be his downfall again, leading to his capture. I believe in you, girls!

It was pretty obv that he was going on the lam last week when he lied about his laptop breaking and getting a new phone.
 
I would want jailtime instead of a gay suicide or any kind of death. Another interesting youtuber that couldn't himself the fuck at all and it's depressing.
 
Locust Day said:
And he did it without even leaving the house, for the most part. Somehow, he avoided the barfights and DUIs and still ended up with mounting legal problems and a busted mouth. It's impressive, if you think about it.

When he gets into a recovery program, the other guys will be sharing crazy stories from their wild drinking days. They'll turn to Tarl and ask him to participate. He'll have to say something like: "I spent a decade guzzling box wines and cheap vodka in a dank, squalid room with only the blue light of my computer screen for company, while rubes fed me money for giving glib takes on current events. Gentlemen, to quote Richard the Second: 'I wasted time, and now time doth waste me.'"

The looks of utter disgust and loathing he will receive in response require a better writer than I to put into words.
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"I am a veteran of psychic wars. Did i ever tell you about the swath I cut through ICQ?"
 
Evan Kor said:
Probably a park or public forest. Hopefully he stays there for the rest of his life.
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That would be smart. Given his social anxiety, need for validation and borderline agoraphobia it's unlikely. He's too physically weak to carry any camping gear let alone the amount of alcohol he'd need. Plus the WiFi sucks.

If a Tarl screams in a forest and there's no one there to see it does it make a sound?

I very much want a 'TASER TASER TASER!' event, but I think he'll go quietly when apprehended because he's a coward. His fear of immediate personal injury will outweigh his fear of jail. I do forsee a bout of incarceritis immediately post arrest.

I would love the footage of his jail check in though. Reception officers see some horrendous shit and I think them completing a property list starting with 'Tricorn Hat, Leather, 1.' would be a nice change for them.
 
Jimmy Dean Bowl said:
The stupid fanny is going pro se so he has a snowball's chance of hell of a good result.
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Are you kidding, he previewed his defense here!

He cleared his Glock, then removed the magazine, then a round teleported into the chamber (it didn't, he should have removed the magazine then cleared the chamber). His defense is bulletproof, unlike his floor.
 
Leylon Sneed said:
Are you kidding, he previewed his defense here!

He cleared his Glock, then removed the magazine, then a round teleported into the chamber (it didn't, he should have removed the magazine then cleared the chamber). His defense is bulletproof, unlike his floor.
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I can't believe I forgot this genius winning strategy. So much goes on in this thread that such gems get buried.
 
So who is going to get sent to catch the Vampirate?
The british colonial navy?
Vampire hunters who work for the catholic church?
The A-Team?

Im pretty sure not a single state or federal agency in the US is issued with silver bullets, holy water or wooden stakes.
Okay maybe they could use the garlic dipping sauce thats in their mcdonalds lunch.
 
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