🗑️ Trashfire StyxHexenhammer666 / Tarl Warwick - Oddball Occultist Neckbeard (who can make some interesting content) + his many scorned exes

[Samson Hydemanfinkelstein]

So do we think Tarl started flopping around on the ground making enough noise for his mother to come in and see him "seizing" or that Tarl was having a panic attack and ran to mommy for help, hyperventilating and crying "I'm scared" like Cyraxx and she covered for him?

I got my money on the latter.

 

[Crackhead of the Rednecks]

So do we think Tarl started flopping around on the ground making enough noise for his mother to come in and see him "seizing" or that Tarl was having a panic attack and ran to mommy for help, hyperventilating and crying "I'm scared" like Cyraxx and she covered for him?

I got my money on the latter.

I'll bet $10 on the latter GRANTED anything actually happened. If this is all a hoax, the bet is null and void.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

So do we think Tarl started flopping around on the ground making enough noise for his mother to come in and see him "seizing" or that Tarl was having a panic attack and ran to mommy for help, hyperventilating and crying "I'm scared" like Cyraxx and she covered for him?

I got my money on the latter.

They're covering for him. They've done nothing but enable him his whole life, why stop now?

 

[Particle Bored]

Been listening to these a little bit over the past few days. I haven't gotten into making songs myself so I don't know how much is Particle Board and how much is the learned-language-model but the lyrics are really good if you stop and listen to them.

As for Styx's court spectacle this morning and his looming jail time, this is the only wake up call he's going to get. He's got to stop acting like a laughingstock if he wants the internet to stop laughing at him.

The lyrics are all AI.

For the first one I told ChatGPT to summarize the last 50 pages of the thread (don't know how accurately it did that... I honestly didn't bother checking its work), and then had it write a song based off that summary, and fed those lyrics to Suno. I posted it but found it kind of bland so went all-Suno.

The other two were generated entirely by Suno, but I gave it a more specific list of traits/events to reference (and I told it he was gay and wore a stupid hat, ergo the "Lavender Seas" and the hook).
(would post the prompts but Suno doesn't seem to retain the info, just the lyrics and what it determines to be the "style's" characteristics)

The third one I just took the same Suno prompt and added "make it 8 verses" to try to spread more detail and references through the song.

I've generally found Suno's lyrics engine to be better than telling ChatGPT to "write a song." More varied and colorful, less sterile (for instance, the lyrics about "carving arms like planks" etc came from the prompt line "cuts himself like a teenage girl"). I've been cranking out dozens of Suno songs for a personal project, and the lyrics are generally pretty good, and it makes some bangers for tunes. I'll sometimes have ChatGPT summarize something to 500 characters and use it in a Suno prompt. Main issue I'm finding with Suno is eventually a lot of the vocals can sound same-y, but if I lock in some "personas" or whatever they call them I can probably mix them up some more. After 400+ songs some of the melody progressions are starting to sound kinda same-y sometimes too. And if you're doing a lot of songs on one subject you may have to start telling it "don't use phrase X, don't reference Y and Z" because it tends to re-use the same popular terms sometimes.

I havent tried doing any of that "simulate a real person's voice" stuff, though for some reason the prompts where I've referenced Leonard Cohen or Tom MacDonald have turned out with vocals sounding very similar to the artist.

 

[AnOminous]

So do we think Tarl started flopping around on the ground making enough noise for his mother to come in and see him "seizing" or that Tarl was having a panic attack and ran to mommy for help, hyperventilating and crying "I'm scared" like Cyraxx and she covered for him?

I got my money on the latter.

Lmao seizuretard. Imagine being so pathetic you have seizures. What a faggot. A faggot who has seizures.

 

[Sexual Chocolate]

Does this face turn from @Styxhexenhammer666 F R E E N I K K I mean the dawn of a new intarlnation?

Tarl Warwick is a man of many faces. Poet, Philosopher, Master of the Arcane Magicks, Pirate, Defendant in a felony case, but above all... lover.

Kinda like Dr Who, but straight

Good evening, it's me, Traditional Tarl. Good heavens, isn't the Wireless uproariously salacious sometimes? Indeed. Well, that's about sufficient. Go in Peace

 

[mickrussom]

Does this face turn from @Styxhexenhammer666 F R E E N I K K I mean the dawn of a new intarlnation?

Tarl Warwick is a man of many faces. Poet, Philosopher, Master of the Arcane Magicks, Pirate, Defendant in a felony case, but above all... lover.

Kinda like Dr Who, but straight
View attachment 8527083
Good evening, it's me, Traditional Tarl. Good heavens, isn't the Wireless uproariously salacious sometimes? Indeed. Well, that's about sufficient. Go in Peace

Today, we’re here .. calm, collected, centered .. to take a look at something that has generated a fair amount of discussion. Some intrigue. Perhaps even a little confusion. Now, before we begin, I want to say this up front.. I approach every lolcow with an open mind, a neutral disposition, and a commitment to fairness. No hype. No exaggeration. Just the facts as they present themselves. Because at the end of the day, whether this turns out to be transcendent.. or whether it crashes back down to earth
Well Heavens to Murgatroid. Let’s see what we’re dealing with.

This Tard Warwick character seems to have skipped out on a court appearance.

Tard Warwick found himself facing a rather inconvenient obligation. A court appearance. A date on the calendar that could not be ignored, postponed, or wished away. Rather than preparing responsibly, the story goes that Tard turned his attention to an alternative solution. Something .. botanical in nature. From a garden described as overgrown, neglected, and containing herbs of questionable provenance. Leaves. Roots. Weeds. Mushrooms. Things that probably should have been left alone. Tard brewed them and consumed them. With the apparent belief that this would provide a convenient excuse to avoid his obligation altogether. What followed was not clarity. Not relief. But chaos. Tard suffered a seizure .. sudden, dramatic, and entirely self inflicted by his own poor judgment. The desired outcome, if there was one, failed to materialize. Instead of sympathy, the result was scrutiny. Instead of delay, consequences. And the judge upon learning of this explanation was not amused. Not reflective. Not contemplative.
Enraged.
Because in this scenario, the court viewed the episode not as misfortune, but as an insult. A transparent attempt to sidestep responsibility through reckless behavior. A choice that wasted time, resources, and patience. So rather than escaping accountability, the situation only compounded itself. One bad decision stacked neatly atop another.

 

[PsychoSam]

Go NiKKI!!!

Tarl, you can thank Sam for your downfall!!! The Devil in disguise
Keep reading your Bible Sam, and pray the children are saved!!!

 

[mickrussom]

Lmao seizuretard. Imagine being so pathetic you have seizures. What a faggot. A faggot who has seizures.

We used to make a joke.

When a epileptic has a seizure in the tub what do you do?
Throw in your laundry.

Problem with Lake Tardicaca in the bathtub, is the clothes would get a lot dirtier.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Does this face turn from @Styxhexenhammer666 F R E E N I K K I mean the dawn of a new intarlnation?

Tarl Warwick is a man of many faces. Poet, Philosopher, Master of the Arcane Magicks, Pirate, Defendant in a felony case, but above all... lover.

Kinda like Dr Who, but straight
View attachment 8527083
Good evening, it's me, Traditional Tarl. Good heavens, isn't the Wireless uproariously salacious sometimes? Indeed. Well, that's about sufficient. Go in Peace

You're getting homeless fugitive Tarl and you'll like it. He'll be uploading his drunk streams on the run while he dodges police, covertly (as a drunk pirate can) moving from homeless camp to homeless camp. Soon he'll change his gimmick and become hobo Styx, modeling his new lifestyle like hobos in the 1920; hopping trains and carrying a bindle.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

You're getting homeless fugitive Tarl and you'll like it. He'll be uploading his drunk streams on the run while he dodges police, covertly (as a drunk pirate can) moving from homeless camp to homeless camp. Soon he'll change his gimmick and become hobo Styx, modeling his new lifestyle like hobos in the 1920; hopping trains and carrying a bindle.

Survival: Rutland is gonna be so fire.

 

[ShiverStar]

View attachment 8527105View attachment 8527109

Go NiKKI!!!

Tarl, you can thank Sam for your downfall!!! The Devil in disguise
Keep reading your Bible Sam, and pray the children are saved!!!View attachment 8527124

Doing fake ass divination with the Bible, Sam? You'll end up worse than Tarl, who just rejected and mocked Christ but never defiled His Word. Not only will worse things happen to you, but you're a weak ass BPD bitch so it's going to hurt a lot more than Tarl could ever hurt.

 

[alan thicke]

I was briefly confused about Sam larping as Christian while lusting for a Stolas fucker and talking about doing magic and divination, but then I remembered she’s a fucking retard and it made sense.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Doing fake ass divination with the Bible, Sam? You'll end up worse than Tarl, who just rejected and mocked Christ but never defiled His Word. Not only will worse things happen to you, but you're a weak ass BPD bitch so it's going to hurt a lot more than Tarl could ever hurt.

Naw, she's onto something. Let me give it a shot.

What began in anger, ends in anguish.
Your lucky numbers are 3 (children you lost custody of), 0 (men you have dated that are currently with you) and 0 (future prospects).
Avoid convenience stores and purple drapes.

 

[General Insomnia]

The Kino Casino seems to think the actual Rutland Herald was in the call and that Styx spazzed out on camera. I left when the judge started getting pissed off at the random users. I was there long enough to see Styx's mom show the camera and allege the seizure happened, but I did not see Styx at any point. Did the user labelled 'Rutland Herald' ever identify themself?

 

[Autistic Joe]

There were a couple of decent episodes, overall - like one where a guy could alter reality by writing it into a wordprocessor

Was that Stephen King's "Word Processor of the Gods"? Very cool short story, I have an old collection of his ("Skeleton Crew") which includes it. I'll bet it adapted well to a tv episode, quite a few of his old short stories were very suitable for that.

Holy fuck, $20,000? That's A LOT of money instantly needed by a guy that's supposedly making 6-figures and, by his own account, is "doing fine, babe". I doubt it'll even reach 40-45% of that goal, but no matter what he gets, Styx will surely have it spent the second he gets his dirty pirate hands on it.

Maybe he'll buy Hoverballs for the entire Clanker Army.

 

[Nig Nog Neanderthal]

Somebody mentioned Leonard Cohen, so Grok wrote "Styx' Hellelujah" and I tweaked it in spots. (I'm a hack, yes)

I've heard there was a secret chord
That Stolas played for to see the fnords,
But you don't really care for vision, do ya?
Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The snockered mage composing Hellelujah.

Hellelujah, Hellelujah
Hellelujah, Hellelujah

You left your wife across the sea
Dutch dreams drowned in Vermont debris
A tricorne hat and handcuffs for your glory.
You threw the phone, it ricocheted
Cops came so quick, your spellbook frayed
Arrested pirate, assembling your story.

Hellelujah, Hellelujah
Hellelujah, Hellelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed truth
She brought you rum and sweet vermouth.
Her gaiety and her liquor overthrew you.
Then one day she cried, "No more!"
She broke your tooth, you were on the floor,
And from your lips she drew the "Hellelujah!"

Hellelujah, Hellelujah
Hellelujah, Hellelujah

Exes bare your dreams in the thread,
BPD whores wish you dead,
Leaked arrest vids play on repeat, coming to ya.
Sam cursed the judge, you cursed the Farms
Black magic fizzled in your arms.
Now just the bottle sings your Hellelujah

Hellelujah, Hellelujah
Hellelujah, Hellelujah

Maybe there's an owl above
But all you've got's obsessive love
For demon lords and garden herbs gone sour.
You claimed the weather, claimed the memes
But Stolas left you with your schemes
And Kiwis laughing in the witching hour — Hellelujah

Your garden wilts, your livestreams stall
Another warrant, another fall
The vampirate king in a Rutland jail.
They nominated you for cow of the year
Eighteen percent raised a cheer
For the warlock who thought he'd never fail.

Hellelujah, Hellelujah
Hellelujah, Hellelujah

So here's to curses that never land
To exes fighting for your hand
To handcuffs gleaming on the pirate leather.
I did my best, it wasn't much.
Other bards have a better touch.
Your life, so far, is at a crux — now sing

Hellelujah, Hellelujah
Hellelujah, Hellelujah

 

[Stinkum]

The Kino Casino seems to think the actual Rutland Herald was in the call and that Styx spazzed out on camera. I left when the judge started getting pissed off at the random users. I was there long enough to see Styx's mom show the camera and allege the seizure happened, but I did not see Styx at any point. Did the user labelled 'Rutland Herald' ever identify themself?

I was alt tabbed and not paying attention after Tarls mom disconnected so I didn't see the judge getting mad at the viewers but Sam says she called the judge a cunt. Tarl did not appear on camera at any point. I would guess Rutland Herald was one just one of us tbh but who knows.

 

[mickrussom]

Naw, she's onto something. Let me give it a shot.

What began in anger, ends in anguish.
Your lucky numbers are 3 (children you lost custody of), 0 (men you have dated that are currently with you) and 0 (future prospects).
Avoid convenience stores and purple drapes.

300,
THIS . IS. RUTLAND.

 

[Dumbledore's Onlyfans]

Fuck they kicked me out for calling the judge a cunt. FIRST AMENDMENT VIOLATION.

There you are, going in too hot again. You ruined it for everybody else like a tard. Too bad you've never posted anywhere on this site but in this thread on any of your accounts, because you might have learned something about not being a sperg.

You oughtta know.

If you imagine this in an Alanis Morrisette voice it's twice as funny.

This could be serious shit too.

She should have appeared flustered, crying and agitated and said she didnt know where Tardy is (so she looked panicked for his sake, like where is my little boy) and kept it real short - Ill go try and find him...

Bald face lying to cover directly to a judge interstate over a recorded line. Now you've added Federal into the mix with these state laws (wire fraud, blah blah blah).

This is why you show up in court boys and girls, interstate fuckery invites the Feds in too, and another state, territory or district on top of that.

Obstruction of Justice RS La. Rev. Stat. § 14:130.1
Statute: Obstruction of justice
It is a crime to knowingly obstruct, impede, interfere with, or delay a criminal proceeding, including false information that affects court proceedings.

Filing False Public Records RS La. Rev. Stat. § 14:133 § 14:133
Statute: Filing false public records
Includes knowingly submitting or causing to be submitted any public record that contains materially false information.

Filing False Statements Against Law Enforcement RS La. Rev. Stat. § 14:133.5
Statute: Filing false statements against law enforcement officers

Accessories After the Fact RS La. Rev. Stat. § 14:25
Statute: Accessory after the fact to a felony
If she knowingly helped her son avoid 'arrest, trial, conviction, or punishment'

Obstruction of Court Orders RS La. Rev. Stat. § 14:133.1
Statute: Interfering with or obstructing the exercise of rights or duties under a court order.
This could apply if her lie directly prevented the court from doing its job.

False Swearing / Perjury Related Rules
Louisiana has statutes on false swearing/perjury if the statement was made under oath (e.g., in a sworn affidavit or testimony)

The smarter bet would have been to genuinely call an ambulance or take him to the hospital in the early hours of the morning, and have Pam plead his case at the zoom hearing. The only problem with this plan is that there's nothing wrong with Styx that a good rehab hospital couldn't (temporarily) fix, so there's a chance that the ER would have released him in plenty of time for his court appearance.

He either faked a seizure on the spot, or he just panicked and ran out of the house. Pam's a burnout stoner, so she lamely covered for him as best as she could. I'm hoping it's "faked a seizure for Pam" over "Ran out of the house screaming and clutching his hair like a Looney Tunes character" because I think the fake seizure is funnier.