Stupidest Comic Book Storylines

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Commander X said:
Speaking of stupid, consider Kevin Smith's Batman comic The Widening Gyre
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Oh God. I remember reading about that. Including such highlights as Silver telling someone that her nickname for Bruce Wayne was 'Double D', because he made her cum that many times, and Batman revealing that at some pivotal moment in a previous story he'd actually pissed himself.

It was very much a 'this is why celebrity fanboys should not have access to the toys' moment.
 
Commander X said:
At one moment, he ends up slapping her around a bit because he suspects she is a robot clone. She understands though because he needs to learn to trust that not everyone is a robot duplicate.
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to be fair that is the type of thing that comes up relatively often
 
Cactuar King said:
That's the retarded thing, he did. He went to Doctor Strange and asked him to remove the bullet, he said he couldn't, but used his magic to let Spidey visit everyone on Earth who could help him, and none of them could. Because a bullet wound in a nonegenarian is just too hard for Doctor fuckin' Doom to fix.
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Oh, I remember that. This was clearly the writer trying to nip in the bud any arguments of "why didn't Peter get outside help?", but all it did was just bring up how stupid it as that NO ONE in the MCU could do anything about a simple bullet wound. It would have made more sense and in character to show Doom saying, "No. Because I'm Doom and a dying old lady is beneath my skills". Or have Reed unavailable because he was in the Microverse/space/Negative Zone.
 
Next Task said:
Batman revealing that at some pivotal moment in a previous story he'd actually pissed himself.
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It's not just any pivotal moment, it's THE pivotal moment of what many consider one of the greatest Batman stories ever written - Batman: Year One. So, not content with just writing a shitty Batman story, Kevin Smith felt the need to try and tarnish one of the best. As infuriating or as dumb as other writers have been with Batman, at least those writers haven't actively tried to bring down other great stories like Kevin Smith tried.
 
Francis York Morgan said:
It's not just any pivotal moment, it's THE pivotal moment of what many consider one of the greatest Batman stories ever written - Batman: Year One. So, not content with just writing a shitty Batman story, Kevin Smith felt the need to try and tarnish one of the best. As infuriating or as dumb as other writers have been with Batman, at least those writers haven't actively tried to bring down other great stories like Kevin Smith tried.
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Further cementing that Kevin Smith is a fat sack of shit with no real knowledge of what good writing is.
 
Commander X said:
Poison Ivy actually shows up and doses him with marijuana in the first issue.
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Oh come the fuck on.


Did he later goto the batcomputer, change Ivy database number to 420 and give her the alias of BlazeIt and then raid the kitchen for batmunchies?


Why can't stoners just leave their hobby in their own field. Must they reference it constantly, these wannabe cheech and chong.
 
Personally, I think it is possible to carry canon too far. There's a point where you have to admit it's really not possible for any one writer to have a solid grasp of sixty years of continuity. Heck, it a bit like Kolchak the Night Stalker, where his editor is skeptical about Kolchak finding a werewolf, even though Tony knows Kolchak found a vampire in the pilot. So does introducing super-healing in one story thirty years ago really mean they can never write a medical emergency story?

The same thing happened with Barbara Gordon back in the day. The thing though, is that Oracle was an interesting character who got involved in some good stories. One More Day wasn't as well received.

I wish I had a more compelling and straightforward argument than "Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't" but I really don't.
 
Not a storyline but Marvel feeling they needed to cripple Professor X again cause they didn't like him walking after being healed by Shi'ar Empire medical tech years earlier.
 
Uranus Pink said:
Not a storyline but Marvel feeling they needed to cripple Professor X again cause they didn't like him walking after being healed by Shi'ar Empire medical tech years earlier.
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Charley is up and walking again.
 
Cactuar King said:
That's the retarded thing, he did. He went to Doctor Strange and asked him to remove the bullet, he said he couldn't, but used his magic to let Spidey visit everyone on Earth who could help him, and none of them could. Because a bullet wound in a nonegenarian is just too hard for Doctor fuckin' Doom to fix.
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I mean it's one thing where something can't happen right away, otherwise story over. But they seriously can't yank a bullet out of an old lady? I don't even think it was in a vital organ or anything, this just feels like everyone either spiting Parker due to Civil War, or they just flat out forgot who the hell they're supposed to be (especially Strange in this scenario). And I'm not entirely unconvinced it was the latter in full on display here.
 
How ye forget that Joe had his stupid insert mary sue Carli Cooper enter the picture. She infiltrated the Spidey comics
I'm pretty sure she is based off of his irl daughter
 
Speaking of Kevin Smith, did you know that Black Cat became the Black Cat because she was raped by her boyfriend in college, he died in a car accident, and she couldn't get revenge? Also some Jewish boy had to suck his brother's dick and that's why he's evil or something.

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Kevin Smith is the definition of "heh heh, rape, heh heh this character you like actually had a edgy backstory".
 
jellycar said:
I'm pretty sure she is based off of his irl daughter
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She was. Joe spoke about it in an interview somewhere.

Everything involving Quesada's heavy-handed editorializing of Spider-Man takes an extra creepy turn when you remember that he's said several times that Spidey was his favorite character and that he heavily identifies with Peter.
 
Kevin Smith is really weird in that anytime I hear him talk about Batman, I agree with pretty much everything he says. He seems like he really understands the character. But then anytime he writes Batman, it's just the worst shit for all the reasons people posted above.

I will give him credit that Onomatopoeia is a cool villain I wish got used more tho.
 
I kid you not, some kid decided to get swole and super smart because his parents got killed and decides to run around in his fursuit to fight crime.
funniest shit I ever saw.
 
BScCollateral said:
Personally, I think it is possible to carry canon too far. There's a point where you have to admit it's really not possible for any one writer to have a solid grasp of sixty years of continuity.
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Dan Sloth's 'She-Hulk' was really good and relied heavily on absurd continuity and it was creative how that was used to rule-lawyer court cases.

That was many years before he got terminal TDS and lost his mind.
 
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