Stupidest Comic Book Storylines

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Aberforth said:
No mention of the Archie Sonic comics? These were filled with dumb storylines. Here's a page from the one where Sonic and his girlfriend argue.
View attachment 1194335
Issue 178 has always stood out to me as the dumbest. In this one, Tails and Sonic have a dispute. Here's a particularly funny page from it.
View attachment 1194340
Here's Sanic getting punched.
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If I remember right, this shit is where Tails is Goku, Knuckles is the furry equivalent of the Anti-Christ, Sonic is married to a lesbian squirrel, Eggman is a robot from the mirror dimension and everyone looks like Knuckles and has a hard-on for Knuckles.
red sonic.jpg
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The entire comic was pure retardation incarnate spawned from the mind of uber-lolcow and politisperg Ken Penders who somehow screwed over Archie and Sega. The end result was Penders even managing to challenge EA/Bioware over a Sonic game they made and him starting his own horrifying Knuckles fanficiton which Sega can't shut down.
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And Sonic is a black astronaut now I guess? Penders essentially became a malicious and more successful version of Chris-chan.

I mean, you expect a Sonic comic to be retarded, but it somehow goes beyond that.
 
The Rise of Arsenal, the infamous DC comic about Roy Harper is definitely the worst in my book. The story just doesn't stop delivering stupid, honestly.
 
Could someone tell me why it seems like Spider-Man gets the most exceptional storylines?
 
TaimuRadiu said:
Could someone tell me why it seems like Spider-Man gets the most exceptional storylines?
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To be fair, the first thirty or so years of Spider-Man are solid. You'd, of course, get the occasional stupid or overly goofy storyline but nothing character ruining.

The problems came with his marriage to MJ. For some reason idiots who don't actually read the comics think that it ruins his teenage appeal, even though the last time you could reasonably call him a teenager was like 1965. They also think he needs to be some sort of free swinging bachelor that bangs every woman in his life, even though that again goes against his actual character.

To try to fix this they first did the Clone Saga. In that they tried to reveal that the Peter fans have been reading about for the last twenty years (and thus the married one) was a clone and this new, commitment-free guy (Ben Reilly) was the 'real' one. The idea there is that Peter would have lost his powers, moved away to Portland with MJ (who'd have a baby), and Ben Reilly would then become the real Spider-Man. Of course fans rejected that stupid idea, so Ben ended up being the real clone and died, Peter got his powers back, moved back to New York, and MJ eventually had a miscarriage (sorta -- originally the nurse who over saw it would've been revealed to have stole the baby and given it to Norman Osborn but the idea was scrapped, though it did lead to the alternate universe series Spider-Girl).

A couple years after the Clone Saga ended they tried it again. In what's known as the New Chapter era, the shitty writer Howard Mackie just suddenly started writing Peter and MJ as if they were teenagers again and killed off MJ in a plane crash to get Peter out of the marriage. Fans yet again rejected this (I think this was the worst selling era of all time) and everyone realized making Peter a widower made him seem even older than the marriage did. So, ultimately, it was revealed that MJ escaped the plane at the last minute and the two were eventually reunited when J. Micheal Straczynski took over Spider-Man for a while (and the first couple of years of his work were really great).

Then they tried it for a third time with One More Day. I talked about that one already in this thread. This one lasted the longest but was still largely hated. It looks like Nick Spencer, the current main Spider-Man writer, is working towards getting MJ and Peter back together.

Really, it all comes down to the people in charge going "We know better the fans and we know what they secretly, truly want, even if they won't admit it. This is for the best."
 
I've been at this point for awhile, but I still think the first Civil War was one of the dumbest storylines in comics and was the beginning of the end of my ability to give a fuck about Marvel Comics. It's the first of the modern stories that boil down to heroes fighting heroes with all of them being incredibly unlikable (and endangering lives of civilians by taking their pissing contests to the streets), the "neutral" factions like Ben Grimm or the X-Men chose to fuck off rather than do anything of worth, the story is structured to make you more sympathetic to the side that is literally using nanomachines to weaponize supervillains against the others, the sides weren't equal to begin with (most of the heaviest hitters around at the time were Pro-Registration), the ending was stupid, it set up One More Day so Spidey fans got a double fuck you from Joe Q., and some of the fallout from the incredibly stupid creative decisions made in this storyline is still negatively impacting their comics.

And that's all without getting into some of the sidestories like the infamous one where former alcoholic Sally Floyd lectured Captain fucking America on what it means to be a real American because he wasn't up on the latest pop culture swill like who won American Idol. Civil War gets praised quite a bit by people (for reasons that are beyond me) but I think it might be "patient zero" for so much of the toxic trends of Marvel's creative that continues to this day.
 
No token mention of Ultimatum and Countdown? Edgy dark storylines with characters violently dying cause fuck you, continuity mess, relied on too many spin-offs to tell the story...Just add rape and it'd be every single shitty story decision with superhero comics in a nutshell.
 
friedshrimp said:
No token mention of Ultimatum and Countdown? Edgy dark storylines with characters violently dying cause fuck you, continuity mess, relied on too many spin-offs to tell the story...Just add rape and it'd be every single shitty story decision with superhero comics in a nutshell.
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Those are kind of the lowest-hanging fruit. What more is there to say about either? Everyone kind of universally accepts they are awful and people know why.

But speaking of edgy, dark storylines with rape in them, I do want to give Identity Crisis a shout-out. This brain fart of a story had the "fun" of Sue Dibney being raped by Dr. Light (who now can't make an appearance in comics without talking about how much he wants to rape someone), the killing or sullying of several Justice League members, killing Tim Drake's dad for no reason, and a stupid twist ending that Atom's ex-wife was behind it all because bitch be crazy.
 
Francis York Morgan said:
I've been at this point for awhile, but I still think the first Civil War was one of the dumbest storylines in comics and was the beginning of the end of my ability to give a fuck about Marvel Comics. It's the first of the modern stories that boil down to heroes fighting heroes with all of them being incredibly unlikable (and endangering lives of civilians by taking their pissing contests to the streets), the "neutral" factions like Ben Grimm or the X-Men chose to fuck off rather than do anything of worth, the story is structured to make you more sympathetic to the side that is literally using nanomachines to weaponize supervillains against the others, the sides weren't equal to begin with (most of the heaviest hitters around at the time were Pro-Registration), the ending was stupid, it set up One More Day so Spidey fans got a double fuck you from Joe Q., and some of the fallout from the incredibly stupid creative decisions made in this storyline is still negatively impacting their comics.

And that's all without getting into some of the sidestories like the infamous one where former alcoholic Sally Floyd lectured Captain fucking America on what it means to be a real American because he wasn't up on the latest pop culture swill like who won American Idol. Civil War gets praised quite a bit by people (for reasons that are beyond me) but I think it might be "patient zero" for so much of the toxic trends of Marvel's creative that continues to this day.
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I'm not a fan of most of Marvel's story lines since last decade, but I think the 90s has it beat in terms of shit quality along with it being stupid and edgy.

Avengers: The Crossing
Maximum Carnage
One More Day
Onslaught Saga and Heroes Reborn
The Clone Saga

Now those are far worse than much of the major story lines in the past few years even though Civil War was meh and the 2nd was garbage and an MCU cashgrab that belongs with the list mentioned.
 
As far as big, dumb '90s events go I actually liked Onslaught. The scale got out of hand and editorial fucked it up a bit (Onslaught itself was meant to just be Xavier's dark psyche rather than a weird lovechild of Xavier's and Magneto's minds) but it was entertaining, had some decent build up, and made use of older plots. Then you have shit like Maximum Carnage which was a poorly written, repetitive slog that went nowhere and did nothing of importance.
 
Francis York Morgan said:
I've been at this point for awhile, but I still think the first Civil War was one of the dumbest storylines in comics and was the beginning of the end of my ability to give a fuck about Marvel Comics. It's the first of the modern stories that boil down to heroes fighting heroes with all of them being incredibly unlikable (and endangering lives of civilians by taking their pissing contests to the streets), the "neutral" factions like Ben Grimm or the X-Men chose to fuck off rather than do anything of worth, the story is structured to make you more sympathetic to the side that is literally using nanomachines to weaponize supervillains against the others, the sides weren't equal to begin with (most of the heaviest hitters around at the time were Pro-Registration), the ending was stupid, it set up One More Day so Spidey fans got a double fuck you from Joe Q., and some of the fallout from the incredibly stupid creative decisions made in this storyline is still negatively impacting their comics.

And that's all without getting into some of the sidestories like the infamous one where former alcoholic Sally Floyd lectured Captain fucking America on what it means to be a real American because he wasn't up on the latest pop culture swill like who won American Idol. Civil War gets praised quite a bit by people (for reasons that are beyond me) but I think it might be "patient zero" for so much of the toxic trends of Marvel's creative that continues to this day.
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Yeah Civil War and Dark Reign* are patient zero for all this shit.

*Dark Reign was intended to be permanent because the boneheads at Marvel were pissed it looked like McCain would win 2008. So Obama delayed Marvel going full tard by 6 years.
 
Anything written by Brian Azzarello.

I've read a ton of his stories. Haven't liked any of them. From him making Joker a rapist who assaulted Barbara Gordon in The Killing Joke movie also Barbara essentially sexually assaulting Batman in the same movie. The guy really seems to like rape. Him making Constantine a child molestor who had sex with a 13 year old girl. The confusing story of Batman: Damned where we got to see Batmans giant bat dick.

Then there's the whole Constantine being in Prison where he harasses a bunch of muslims and causes a prison riot and gets pretty much everyone killed just because he was feeling bad about himself.

I just really don't like anything I've ever seen him write.
 
Ultimatum pretty much killed the Ultimate universe (either that or killing peter parker) and was genrally unpleasent and depressing to read.
The Littlest Shitlord summerized the problems earlier with marvels comics perfectly on page one, the problems are inherant in the system, eventually they all turn to shit because they cannot be allowed to progress or end.
 
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