Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

[NARPASSWORD]

We all thought and said incredibly idiotic things as children, don't deny it. Here's a thread to share whatever stupid shit you did, thought, or said during your childhood, starting with this: When I was little, I thought old movies and shows were in black and white because color didn't exist back then.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Cows peed milk.

Babies couldn't die.

 

[Bassomatic]

That's a great calvin and hobbs comic if you haven't read it OP. Not first to think that.

As a child I was lost on the concept of percentages. Something happens or it doesn't how can't it be 50/50? .

This should be a fun thread, hope it takes off. The way kids think is often adorable and sometimes baffling.

 

[RadicalCentrist]

I thought western democracy would survive forever.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

When I was a kid I seriously believed that Santa had a KGB/NSA-esque team of elves who were these sneaky little ninja-like people who would spy on kids.

That's a great calvin and hobbs comic if you haven't read it OP.

This one?

 

[QB 290]

You'd see your dead relatives again someday

 

[Dahmer]

I thought hors d'oeuvre was pronounced "horse do-vray".

 

[Plague Spectrum]

This one is out there. When I was a kid I thought that Antarctica and Australia had no gravity

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I thought hors d'oeuvre was pronounced "horse do-vray".

or whore's divorce.

 

[Nazi vegeta]

I thought that men could actually perform techniques like the hadoken, if they trained hard and long enough.
i still remember the day I asked my father if this was true. I think I was 7 or 8 and he ridiculed me. What a fucking asshole.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

I thought the purpose of butter was to cool down hot food.

 

[MG 620]

Everyone is nice to each other.

 

[Desire Lines]

I thought yellow snow was lemon-flavored Quickly learned from that mistake
Also I constantly pronounced "espresso" as "expresso" and nobody corrected me until I was like 14

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Boys had boobs too, they were just really tiny.

 

[MG 620]

Boys had boobs too, they were just really tiny.

Some fatties do have boobs, and sometimes they are not tiny at all.

 

[Randy Lahey]

Also I constantly pronounced "espresso" as "expresso"

I did that too, I think it was because the ostrich buddy in Donkey Kong Country was called Expresso.

 

[Sylvie Paula Paula]

That if a President died, he'd reign over the country forever.

 

[Xarpho]

I used to think girls urinated and pooped out of the same hole.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I thought people laid eggs out their mouths because I saw Piccolo do it on Dragon Ball, I asked my family if that's where babies came from and they answered with a "yes".

 

[Judge Holden]

Between the ages of 3 and 8 I believed that the word "rape" (as i would hear on the news or in films/tv watched by my older relatives) was actually "rake" and thus whenever the news or TV was talking about somebody being raped (or "raked" as i heard it), I just assumed it meant they had the shit beaten out of them with a rake.

Needless to say my parents pissed themselves in decidedly uncomfortable laughter when we watched a certain simpsons epiosde together for the first time and i loudly announced "sideshow bob is being raped!"