I'm someone who lived with a trauma induced personality split for 10+ years.
By accident I think I found something pretty extraordinary.
I experimented on myself for 12 years with everything under the sun under the assumption
that I could find a way to cure my scoliosis (a chronically painful physical condition)
Although I never did find a way to cure bone deformity outside of a physically healthy
lifestyle to manage the condition, I did accidentally significantly improve my own mental
health and on the off chance that I should succumb to either bullet poisoning or some form
of occurance that would deter me from being able to share my experience with the world I
decided to share the thesis for my life's work.
The following is undiagnosed, and my own personal opinion.
I had a trauma induced personality split that I struggled to overcome, where my two personality states took turns piloting
my body, at it's worst each had a couple weeks of permeance at a time. I hid this from the world and
to be honest I fell in an out of being aware of this myself, I only fully understood it towards the very end of it.
For 12 years I experimented on myself with Hawaaian baby woodrose seeds on average bi-yearly.
I did so for all these years because I noticed a linear correlation with having consumed these seeds, and my spine improving a lot.
In retrospect I believe it helped my mind which in turn allowed me to live in a pattern that improved my body.
Now I've taken every psychedelic known to mankind, and yet I chose to consistently my whole life take this entheogenic alkaloid that everyone swears
sucks because it just makes your stomach cramp and you feel like you're gonna die. I feel like this amazing plant has been misunderstood and is underutilized.
If you do a proper cold water extractions on seeds they're barely poisonous and the vasoconstriction is managable, it's not like LSD you don't hallucinate
The closer you are to baseline reality the less you hallucinate, if there's one thing LSA does is bring you down to baseline reality.
Here's the last one I did.
30 Hawaaian baby woodrose seeds
Coldwater extraction
Boil tap water and let it cool down
Crush the seeds and put them in the water
Cover the glass with foil cause light messes with the process.
Wait 4 hours, stir twice during this period.
Add crushed garlic and stir, wait half an hour.
Sieve the plant matter aside, drink the liquid, and throughout use THC to counter the (potentially) lethal range of the vasoconstriction.
I believe god made these two plants to be taken together, there's no other vasodilator in the world that works with LSA to make the compound physically safe to consume.
I would describe the feeling of tripping on LSA as a warm blanket around my soul, and a lessening of the mental burden i feel like I carry all the time.
I basically finally feel like I can rest and stop tensing up and then I get to dive into my own mind.
To me the biggest trip isn't drugs it's not being in pain, and when I'm not in pain for an extended period of time I get my thoughts back.
Now I'm not a doctor or a scientist I'm just someone who became mentally ill from being traumatized at a young age.
But in case my data could be helpful to you guys, I decided to write down what I've been doing and had in my head for all these years, just one time write it down.
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Hawaaian baby woodrose seeds
Cold water extraction started lukewarm
Hypothesis – With intent you can reduce yourself to a primal state of awareness, from where you can effectively consume your trauma without consequence.
Subject 1 male, 29, 90-100 kilos (Myself)
Subject 2 female, 29, 60-65 kilos
#1. 15 seeds
#2. 15 seeds
Cold Water Extraction 4 hours + 30 minutes with garlic.
Dissociation stopped almost immediately for #1 upon the effects of the drug taking hold, severe vasoconstriction, do not eat this much food before taking lsa or cocaine in any amount (dumbass), post trip Tourette’s symptoms nonexistent, empathy back to baseline, sleep better, mind remains permeant, digestion improved.
#2 Manic-depressive cycle broken, physical tension relieved, some physical trauma released, no seizures, intrusive thoughts present but loop partially deconstructed, no nightmares on the night, LSA seems to have had an extraordinary good synergy with the peak of the menstruation cycle.
Both exude sharpened senses and a hyper sensitivity neither of which seems to dull in linear correlation with LSA being eliminated, motor skills improved, brain fog cleared, positive sensation increased and negative sensation decreased, reduction of depressive symptoms.
Hypothesis failed at being elevated into a theory, you can effectively consume your trauma but not without consequence, the vasoconstriction is consequential, still remarkable trauma management but not a “free breakfast” in the human brain.
Recommendations for therapeutic use of hawaaian baby woodrose seeds: It's totally fine if you expect facing your trauma to be painful but instead it is pleasurable.
Please take the vasoconstriction seriously, have warm water and a warm bed ready. If you want significant life changes you have to change your pattern in life
taking mind altering drugs isn't enough or a responsible thing to do, if you're not willing to integrate the experience and apply your principles to yourself.
Notes: vasoconstriction still seems to be the main antagonist of LSA as a direct relief of trauma induced personality split and broader dissociative states.
A smaller person with smaller veins consumed the same dosage, yet experienced little to no vasoconstriction due to their healthy lifestyle in the days prior.
Consider the general lifestyle and pattern leading up to the consumption as LSA, as part of the set and setting which is the most important variable with psychedelics.
LSA remains at it’s core a powerful anti-inflammatory able to reduce bloat and gunk in the entire human body.
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LSA experiment #2 – general treatment of psychosomatic symptoms (Myself)
Subject last treated with LSA 8 months ago. Subject was re-exposed to the precise environment and factors that are inherently deeply traumatizing to them.
Subject has a bad sleeping pattern, increasing anger problems, lack of ability to execute, dissociation, lethargy, and what they have described as “a disconnect from their principles”
Seems to be disconnecting from a genuine sense of baseline reality, which is adjacent to losing permeance, potentially re-splitting into trauma states in the pipeline if no intervention.
Subject has been exposed to LSA cold-water extractions bi-yearly for 10+ years.
Subject has clear schizotypal symptoms and treatment resistant depression.
Measure whether the vasoconstriction is vastly different with a healthier consumption leading up the consumption of the extract.
Hypothesis: Dopaminergic homeostasis will be a realistic outcome for the subject as a result of the LSA extract taken with intent under the right circumstances.
Cold water extraction time: 4 hours, 30 minutes with garlic.
Seeds: 30 (HBW)
Stopped consuming solid foods 4 hours before consumption of the extract.
Setting: their home, alone, with access to people that could come over if need be, and with a trip sitter to arrive after the peak of the experience. Music and fruits are prepared. Home is clean, personal relations are in order, physical exercise has been regular, no strong stimulants or depressants, no real major vasodilation/vasoconstriction in the last few days, a protein rich diet with mostly complex carbs and healthy fats.
The intent: To reduce the subject to a primal state of awareness, from where the structures that are eroding the person at a fundamental level can be eroded. Erase the structures that do not work, re-enforce the structures that are beneficial. Go by emotion and logic equally, if either isn’t present do not make executive re-arrangements of the subconscious.
The theory is that with far less vasoconstriction, less stomach cramps, less bloating, and less tertiary stress factors, a much deeper reduction of trauma will be possible.
Notes: every assumption was correct.
Complete reduction of trauma.
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If you're gonna experiment with these seeds I wouldn't recommend you start at my dosage, I've been steadily maintaining a tolerance for many years.
A coldwater extraction on 10 Hawaaian Baby Woodrose seeds should suffice if you're a beginner with these seeds.
With that being said from my perspective this is what happens when I take them in the way I have been.
I'm reduced to a primal state of awareness, the ego structure dissipates and I'm seperated from my trauma.
From this "anima" conciousness state I consume my trauma, I close my eyes and mentally process my unresolved and repressed emotions.
To me it's key to be alone for this part, or to at least not have someone in my presence that activates my ego structure.
After which what happens to me is that I regain permeance.
What do I mean with permeance? Well if you've never lived with a personality split before "permeance" basically means that you remain as the person you are.
The memories you make remain with you and there's no point in time where you switch over to another personality state.
To me regaining permeance was regaining my mind and my soul, it felt like escaping a prison I've known for half my life.
I always found it unethical, the concept of experimenting on other people specifically in this state.
If someone is in a trauma induced personality split they don't have permeance and thus they cannot actually give consent.
So I've never actually tried to treat someone elses personality split, but I decided to share my trip report anyways.
With informed consent I have shared this extract with a multitude of people over the years who had other forms of trauma they wished to help mend.
Never has the outcome been negative.
I know that there's a high likelyhood that I'm just insane in some type of way, and that unless another human being achieved the same result (specifically in relation to personality splits)
you could never really consider my ramblings "science" or useful information... but I had to tell you all my experience anyways.
Because if I'm wrong the world keeps turning and there's another crazy person and it's kind of funny.
But if I'm right then maybe other people could also use psychedelically assisted psychotherapy to help themselves.
I believe in the free dissimenation of information to humanity, and after 12 years of meticulously applying LSA to my own psyche I've decided
that the only responsible thing I can do is try to share my experience.
Do what you will with this information.
