Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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Harbinger of Kali Yuga said:
Can you imagine being one of his kids? "No daddy, mangosteen icky!" "SO DONT FUCKING BUY IT, DONT FUCKING DRINK IT , DONT FUCKING CLICK MY LINKS!!!"
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Mangosteen is for the whales, not his family.


The reality is LowT is sitting at home, nursing some LOCAL CRAFT BEER at 9 AM, looking for some web chat where he can brag.

"Yeah, I once was on top of the world, hanging out with Mike Nelson of MST3k and Uwe Boll, I was a somebody!

Nowadyas, I gotta post shirtless pics of my toddler daughter to get a twitter like.

The world just chews you up and spats ya out, I tells ya!"
 
Lowtax constantly bitches about how much work it is to run Something Awful. I'd love to see a break down of Richard's day.

7:00am- Wake up
7:10am- false alarm, just had to pee, pounded one out since pants were off anyway.
11:57am- wake up, stretch, sadly remember the halcyon days of the boomtimes when able to sleep till noon.
11:59am- Finish showering, check BigHotMangosteens.com for new content
12:10pm- Working lunch; Lunch + brainstorming session for "New Wacky Ban Reasons"
12:30pm- Review results of brainstorming for actionable ideas (20 new bans all involving the word "Gooftroop"); after-meal Ambien
12:35pm - Wrap up brain storming session, back to BigHotMangosteens.com
1:07pm- Ambien & Wine Coma
1:40pm- Ensure eldest daughter holds mirror under nose to check for fogging properly. Resume nap.
1:56pm- scratch self, smack lips, resume nap.
2:26pm - Nap (cont)
2:56pm- Nap (cont)
3:11pm: Wake up sweating from horrible nightmare where forums had become depopulated to the extent could no longer support lifestyle and had to get a real job with two decade gap in resume. Calm nerves by taking ambien and banning 3 people using wacky reasons from earlier brainstorming session.
3:12pm- Post nap Ambien Cooler (Wine + Ambien + Splash of tonic) to help wake up, test out another brainstormed wacky ban reason.
3:20pm- realize missed phone call with advertiser rep. Reschedule. Still jittery from nightmare, have Ambien to calm nerves.
3:30pm- Post hilarious jokes on twitters.
3:31pm- all out of material, back to BigHotMangosteens.com
3:33pm- make note to replace scotchguarding on $1000 chair; back to twitter
3:34pm-10:00pm - Ignore forums while unpaid catladies, unpaid trans-catladied, and unpaid catlady allies run the comedy forums of your comedy website.
10:01pm- Send moderation team thank you note for their hard work at ensuring you remain the funniest person on the forums.
10:05pm - Make mauldin post on forums about how they are so hard to run and don't make enough income to keep a manchild supplied with toys.
10:15pm - Say goodnight to GTR
10:18pm - Make note to replace scotchguarding on GTR
10:22pm- Night cap of Barefoot (1 glass)
10:24pm- Nighttime Ambien
10:25pm- Night cap of Barefoot (rest of bottle)
10:30pm- Ensure new Canadian wife has gone to sleep
10:35pm- Ensure she's really sleeping; close eyes after a hard day of forums administration. Look forward to Sunday and a chance to relax from this hectic pace.
 
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jace821 said:
Lowtax is in bad shape. Also, his mother has some rare disease and is fucked.
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jace821 said:
I agree with this. The forums pay for themselves usually around the middle of the month per lowtax. It’s just the profit isn’t cutting it for raising a family, paying child support, etc.

I’d bet there’s someone in KC area that would hook him up with some office job making 40 grand a year with benefits. He could live ok on that in Lee’s summit and anything from the forum would be gravy.
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That's what he should have been doing this whole time, then retire at 45 with the mortgage paid off and a big fat pot of gold to rest your balls on until you die from happiness.
 
I like that Lowtax always makes the worst possible decisions and then gets mad at everyone else for it. Dude's like the boss from Dilbert but way more depressing
 
Manah said:
I mean, it's only like $200, but the guy opened like 10 legendaries in Hearthstone today, if he's super hard up I feel like tightening his budget would be a good first step.
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Did he really do this? I just read the "My mother has leukemia and i'm broke" beg thread and people have thrown hundreds of dollars at him "to help the forums."

Jesus people are even shouting down the suggestion that he tell everyone how much money he needs and how much has been raised. They want him to just keep asking for money while providing no information.

It looks like his plan is to try and sell a new DoomHouse video.
 
Anime is Blood said:
Did he really do this? I just read the "My mother has leukemia and i'm broke" beg thread and people have thrown hundreds of dollars at him "to help the forums."

Jesus people are even shouting down the suggestion that he tell everyone how much money he needs and how much has been raised. They want him to just keep asking for money while providing no information.

It looks like his plan is to try and sell a new DoomHouse video.
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Yeah he did, on Twitter he posts pretty consistent updates on his Hearthstone card opinions/pulls. He got some fairly good stuff recently. He may have obtained the new cards via saved up in-game currency but it's more than likely that he just paid for it.
 
Maybe I'm missing some in joke, but I browse GBS from time to time because I like the photoshop threads.

Someone makes a thread called "soften the blow" which isn't particularly funny. Someone else reponds with a 2, which is a well received joke.

The guy gets banned.

lowtax why is your comedy website dying??? must be them twitters.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3842930
 
Manah said:
Maybe I'm missing some in joke, but I browse GBS from time to time because I like the photoshop threads.

Someone makes a thread called "soften the blow" which isn't particularly funny. Someone else reponds with a 2, which is a well received joke.

The guy gets banned.

lowtax why is your comedy website dying??? must be them twitters.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3842930
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Don't you get it memes are not allowed on this great forum only my CATCHPHRASES, your MEMES are STUPId DOOOOOMHOOOUUUUSEEEE

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Holy shit I haven't seen the forums in years. That's really what the community is like? That's what they think humor is? It's like some shitty AI trying to approximate humor and failing hard.
 
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Harbinger of Kali Yuga said:
Don't you get it memes are not allowed on this great forum only my CATCHPHRASES, your MEMES are STUPId DOOOOOMHOOOUUUUSEEEE

edit:

Holy shit I haven't seen the forums in years. That's really what the community is like? That's what they think humor is? It's like some shitty AI trying to approximate humor and failing hard.
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Remember you cant be funnier than the mods....or else you get banned
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
Sorry for OT but Andromeda actually had a token trans character? Holy shit I knew the game was a pandering mess but there was so much wrong with its production that I don't think I ever even heard this part.
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from the same studio that brought you this
DAI-trans.jpg
 
Lowtax making another Doom House is just really depressing. He's not even trying to hide the fact that he's yearning for SA's early internet glory days anymore. Say what you want about SA as a whole, but the original Doom House encapsulated everything that SA was really known for back when it was a major thing. Doom House was fucking hilarious and its sequel (Mood House, the entire movie re-shot and re-acted except backwards) was also brilliant. But that's the end of the joke. You can't make a Doom House 3 because there's nothing left to milk.
 
Lowtax has begun to remind me of late 90's early 00's comedy protagonists. Someone who could have made it but was too lazy to make it and now fucks about with a bunch of losers as the some sort of crisis looms.
Bassically he's Vince Vaugn at the start of dodgeball except Ben Stiller doesnt care enough to reposses his failing gym/forum so he's never going to get that kick up the arse he needs.
 
Emperor Julian said:
Lowtax has begun to remind me of late 90's early 00's comedy protagonists. Someone who could have made it but was too lazy to make it and now fucks about with a bunch of losers as the some sort of crisis looms.
Bassically he's Vince Vaugn at the start of dodgeball except Ben Stiller doesnt care enough to reposses his failing gym/forum so he's never going to get that kick up the arse he needs.
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Well that's an interesting way of putting it bc he just reminds me of a sad cunt.
 
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