Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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Ghostse said:
Yeah 50 Foot Ant was well known for his utterly ridiculous stories and RPG shit.

To the point when the narrative was still "Garbage tuck guy might have just exagerated a coupel things" people were telling 50FA to fuck off with his lies.
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I had no idea the guy was serious. I remember that story he made up about being stationed on a haunted American army base during a blizzard that was actually pretty cool.
 
Giga Brainlet said:
I had no idea the guy was serious. I remember that story he made up about being stationed on a haunted American army base during a blizzard that was actually pretty cool.
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His original Username was Humper Monkey, but he had already parachuted to 50foot Ant in a not very well kept secret by the time I had cause to care.

I honestly don't know what 50FA's deal was, I only know of him by reputation and a few interactions where he started to spin a yard and was generally told to go fuckhimself and stop shitting up the thread.
But he definitely tried to pass his stories off as legit, got superbutt hurt when he wasn't believe, but some of his whoppers he actually admited readily were fabricated.


Yeah, the Army base one was probably his best work, and alllllmost grounded enough, except he tried to set it in pre-unification Germany. Also the ending was super lame.

At one point during my time in garrison I was (for less than a week) given an entire barracks to myself so that it could be claimed that it was occupied, and I thought of 50FA's gay nazi ghost story. The only person I saw was some DFAC detail the delivered/picked up a whole hot-box set-up for breakfast/dinner. But it wasn't really spooky just boring.
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
Remember Bruiser with his garbage truck on fire cruising down the road? For some reason, I do.
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he had a cool avatar the sweeping truck being on fire.

Then he ended up on an alt hanging out in some woman posting only thread and pretended to be a helicopter pilot student.

Then some Goon most likely a troon named troposphere had a fucking break down and broke the dont import drama rule by going after his rather ammusing thread about "finding" a bad manuscript of a action novel called firestorm or something.

I guess my bitch is the jealous mods ran off anyone who was entertaining

Didnt that goon with true tales of shitty dating swarmy kill himself
 
northstar747 said:
he had a cool avatar the sweeping truck being on fire.
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That's right. It was a street sweeper, not a garbage truck.

I heard stories of the printer goon both trooning out and committing suicide, but dude was already a meme by then. Never did figure out why everyone had a boner for Three Olives- I thought the guy was kind of an amusing noiseposter, but when he'd have page-long posts, I'd just nope over them.
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
Three Olives- I thought the guy was kind of an amusing noiseposter, but when he'd have page-long posts, I'd just nope over them.
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Three olives had a helldump thread titled. Post here every time 3 olives brings up how hes rich and gay.

The last post I saw of his that I can remember years ago he was rather honest about how gay mens body counts are insane.

something like "how many, i dunno hey donnie we ve done it right? yeah thought so, hmm I guess like around 200 something.
 
northstar747 said:
Then some Goon most likely a troon named troposphere had a fucking break down and broke the dont import drama rule by going after his rather ammusing thread about "finding" a bad manuscript of a action novel called firestorm or something.
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Troposphere, amazingly, was not a troon (though maybe she's poonered out now) just a very skeletal gothscold in the vein of Eggplant Wizard (real name Elanor Jefferson who was employed in the classics department of Rugters university and wrote werewolf rape and incest fiction under the pen name Kali Lowe).

Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
That's right. It was a street sweeper, not a garbage truck.

I heard stories of the printer goon both trooning out and committing suicide, but dude was already a meme by then. Never did figure out why everyone had a boner for Three Olives- I thought the guy was kind of an amusing noiseposter, but when he'd have page-long posts, I'd just nope over them.
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Three Olives was an insufferable faggot. And by that I mean he was a gay manslut who had a lot of money and aped being cultured, and and was very opinionated in the way that only faggots who know that if you punch them they can get the DA to add hatecrime charges.

Obnoxious queers are very common on SA, of course.

What set off the goonhive was he... I don't think conservative is the right word here, but he didn't act like faggot culture was "normal" or soemthing to lauded. And as a bitch, didn't like pooners or cotton to troons. and gave zero fucks about poors or working class. Thus persona non grata.
 
Ghostse said:
Three Olives was an insufferable faggot.
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Yeah. That he most certainly was.
Ghostse said:
What set off the goonhive was he... I don't think conservative is the right word here, but he didn't act like faggot culture was "normal" or soemthing to lauded. And as a bitch, didn't like pooners or cotton to troons. and gave zero fucks about poors or working class. Thus persona non grata.
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That's probably why I didn't have disdain towards him. He rode the line hard on both sides to some degree, and was entirely unapologetic. He wasn't just the usual cocksucker on SA posting to add more body count at the next Gooncon: He was annoying the fuck out of everyone who "should have been his ally" along the way. He pretty much just said "Go fuck yourself." to any party.
 
Ghostse said:
I don't think conservative is the right word here, but he didn't act like faggot culture was "normal" or soemthing to lauded
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He had money. I mean his parents had money thats always a sin on SA. He was in texas and so he was what would be called a log cabin republican.

Also SA culture shifted hard 3 olives was gay during the 2nd bush term. Basically the forum politics moved well past him.

Edit I went and looked that faggot up and man is he a whipping boy

such a homophobic place

3 olives1.webp

3 olives2.webp

three olivs.webp
 
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Ghostse said:
Troposphere, amazingly, was not a troon (though maybe she's poonered out now) just a very skeletal gothscold in the vein of Eggplant Wizard
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I don't know this goon other than remembering the name and avatar, but I looked it up, and his or her last posts on SA are declaring "I am trans" and talking about dragon dicks.

Screenshot 2025-08-01 at 01.19.43.webp

Troonosphere.
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
I'm not sure how much of it was actual decent bullshitting, and how much was the entire "Want to believe" crap. Remember Bruiser with his garbage truck on fire cruising down the road? For some reason, I do.
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Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
That's right. It was a street sweeper, not a garbage truck.
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I just happened to have this old PDF in my archive, I had completely forgotten about any of this until you mentioned Bruiser and the truck. Now everyone can enjoy some mildly entertaining, surely embellished, tales of SA goon history...
 

Attachments

Something Awful said:
I don't know this goon other than remembering the name and avatar, but I looked it up, and his or her last posts on SA are declaring "I am trans" and talking about dragon dicks.

View attachment 7719320

Troonosphere.
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Guess she poonered out or I'm getting my goons confused.
Also I guess the bathtub pooner chems made Troposphere go full gooner because lol talking about horny posting would have been very haram.
 
Commodore 128 said:
I just happened to have this old PDF in my archive, I had completely forgotten about any of this until you mentioned Bruiser and the truck. Now everyone can enjoy some mildly entertaining, surely embellished, tales of SA goon history...
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Oh my Lord, the emotes for characters, and "they all clapped" before page 20. Yeah, 5 Golden Manbabies here.
 
I always thought 50 Foot Ant was like Martin Random but for Goons in Platoons: everyone knew he was a bullshitter but got a pass because the stories were so obviously fake. That is hilarious that he got asshurt for getting called out on them.

Troposphere was also most definitely a chick at one time and likely fucked Lowtax. She lived in a small town in the southwest part of Missouri. She dressed and wore shitloads of makeup like an emo drag queen. In a town of like 100 people, she was a certified freak. Pooning out makes sense because she seemed to rely on shock value and dressing up like a goth eventually got boring to the local yokels.
 
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