Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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retard strength said:
Listen to music in your car as you drive the kid places. If he likes it, he'll probably ask what it is. You tell him. That's it, that's how you share music you like. If they wind up liking trashcore noise or top 20 mumblerap Spotify weekl hits then at least it's his parents who have to suffer it.
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Yeah, never sit around and "listen to music" with a younger person unless they ask. Background music is fine, driving music is excellent especially as they get older and with the awkward self-awareness of adolescence may want to be able to 'hang out but not say anything' (but never use it drown out conversation, be ready to pause/drop volume quickly if they do want to talk) If you want them to enjoy the music you like so you can 'bond', create positive associations by having the music around while having fun activities.

Also, while everyone into music like that goon likes be all indie and "you've probably never heard of it", make sure to mix in some mainstream shit so you don't turn them into a "that kid" who knows knows weird obscure JPOP songs and Vidya music. If it was a charting single there's probably something about it that speaks to a large number of people. That means when your relative plays that music when out with their friends, they won't get ostracized for "weird" music.

But again, that's a moot point since as a something awful poster, they shouldn't be allowed contact with anyone under the age of 18.
 
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Just give the kid 500 records and a player, and let him listen or sell them. Give a fucking gift, not an obligation. Goons. Fucking hell.
 
Im gonna strap that little bitch to a chair and blast 80 decibels of the entire discography of Lynyrd Skynyrd starting with the 57 minute version of Freebird live from Tacoma Washington 1984 until they become something i can love and understand.
 
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lol.

I went back to my normal life TWO YEARS AGO. It's amazing to me that there are people like this out there.
 
xjakk said:
Im gonna strap that little bitch to a chair and blast 80 decibels of the entire discography of Lynyrd Skynyrd starting with the 57 minute version of Freebird live from Tacoma Washington 1984 until they become something i can love and understand.
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Yikes sweaty hot take on your problematic musicians you probably love Ted Nugent don’t you you chud right wing nazi?
 
Brain Problems said:
None of this is any different than life before Wu Flu for the average goon beyond an additional layer of obsessive compulsive lunacy with some shitty face pregnancy testers but we all know their families disowned them years ago.
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To them they see the wu-flu fear as a great way to excuse the fact that they're pale as cave goblins smeared in SPF 100. I'd say it's bullshit but it also means there's significantly lower odds of meeting one of these morons in public.
 
nothing annoys me more than goons talking about covid

it's like they saw the scare videos china put out in late 2019 of people collapsing in the streets and nothing further

my own personal covid conspiracy is by the time it reached and really penetrated the u.s. it had already mutated into something far far weaker and less deadly than the initial china outbreak/leak
 
ellroy said:
>account created in 2003.
>still actively posts
>implying his family actually wants something to do with him.
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In my mind a goon of that vintage (or of any year for that matter) talking about their family always morphs mentally into that meme a bunch happy well-adjusted people socialising and making merry in a kitchen or living room looking at the camera with the text of "Well look who came down from his room!"
 
Something Awful said:
Some weirdness from the music forum. This goon wants to share his musical taste with his nephew by giving a few albums as a gift. And by "a few" I mean five hundred. One every week for a decade. The nephew is now nine years old.


View attachment 2923462

Like, I can understand wanting to help a kid broaden his horizons, but jesus, leave it to a goon to take an idea to a ridiculous extreme. Even taking single recommendations from people who actually know your tastes can feel like a chore sometimes. It's just more fun to discover things on your own.

Anyway, his list is up to a hundred albums by now, and most of them don't even seem to have any personal significance, just random crap he found on Bandcamp and expects his nephew to listen to.

View attachment 2923457
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This is depressing on several levels:
  • One of the last things a kid turning 10 in 2022 wants is an MP3 player full of totally unfamiliar music. A 10 year old in 2002 would like that, and then proceed to wipe whatever was preloaded off and replace it with whatever they like + whatever's trendy so they don't get called a fag. MP3 players are currently deep into that valley where obsolete things are just viewed as old and worthless, but not yet campy and retro.
  • He's actually paying for all of this music! If they were vinyls or CDs, he could at least flip them, but he's loading the player up with paid-for MP3s. Oh no no, don't spend the money on something he'd actually really like, or like stocks or crypto or something that could make him money down the road. No, give him a shitload of MP3s he didn't ask for, that's what every zoomer wants.
---

I typed that reply several days ago but by the end of the second point, I was starting to feel a slight tinge of depression from just putting myself in that poor kid's shoes. It's not even a shitty present from the heart, it's a shitty present born from two decades of being a fucking goon. Music is an especially personal thing, moreso than any other kind of media, and I never ever know how to react when someone eagerly shows me a song they like, and I, well, mostly I feel like this:
showing a friend a song you really like spongebob.gif

but
  • ten years of presents
  • during my adolescence
  • from my uncle
  • hundreds of albums
  • not even on a cool new phone or anything
  • they're even paid for, so, DRM issues might arise, because it's not like he'll just give me access to his account
  • he might want to discuss them
  • but I don't know what he'll want to discuss in particular
  • and music is such a personal thing that I might inadvertently hurt his feelings if I didn't manage to listen to and memorize the one of five hundred different albums he bought me that's his favorite
  • I can't even show him music I actually like because chances are he'll hate it, and also feel insulted because it's not likely something he bought me
  • i am a child, why are you putting all this pressure on me
There's always all kinds of horrible shit on SA, but this is one that especially irks me because it's so damn real and leads to so many ways of potentially inadvertently upsetting this fucking retard of an uncle, and it feels like an existential horror. Like, I know drama will go down, and it's only a matter of when, and it's gonna make that kid feel like he did something wrong when it was his fucking obnoxious retarded uncle putting all this onus on him disguised as a present. He'll whine and say "IM A BAD UNCLE I WAS JUST TRYING TO INTRODUCE MY NEPHEW TO MUSIC" and this poor kid just has to deal with this nightmare
 
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Pissmaster said:
This is depressing on several levels:
  • One of the last things a kid turning 10 in 2022 wants is an MP3 player full of totally unfamiliar music. A 10 year old in 2002 would like that, and then proceed to wipe whatever was preloaded off and replace it with whatever they like + whatever's trendy so they don't get called a fag. MP3 players are currently deep into that valley where obsolete things are just viewed as old and worthless, but not yet campy and retro.
  • He's actually paying for all of this music! If they were vinyls or CDs, he could at least flip them, but he's loading the player up with paid-for MP3s. Oh no no, don't spend the money on something he'd actually really like, or like stocks or crypto or something that could make him money down the road. No, give him a shitload of MP3s he didn't ask for, that's what every zoomer wants.
---

I typed that reply several days ago but by the end of the second point, I was starting to feel a slight tinge of depression from just putting myself in that poor kid's shoes. It's not even a shitty present from the heart, it's a shitty present born from two decades of being a fucking goon. Music is an especially personal thing, moreso than any other kind of media, and I never ever know how to react when someone eagerly shows me a song they like, and I, well, mostly I feel like this:
View attachment 2929958

but
  • ten years of presents
  • during my adolescence
  • from my uncle
  • hundreds of albums
  • not even on a cool new phone or anything
  • they're even paid for, so, DRM issues might arise, because it's not like he'll just give me access to his account
  • he might want to discuss them
  • but I don't know what he'll want to discuss in particular
  • and music is such a personal thing that I might inadvertently hurt his feelings if I didn't manage to listen to and memorize the one of five hundred different albums he bought me that's his favorite
  • I can't even show him music I actually like because chances are he'll hate it, and also feel insulted because it's not likely something he bought me
  • i am a child, why are you putting all this pressure on me
There's always all kinds of horrible shit on SA, but this is one that especially irks me because it's so damn real and leads to so many ways of potentially inadvertently upsetting this fucking retard of an uncle, and it feels like an existential horror. Like, I know drama will go down, and it's only a matter of when, and it's gonna make that kid feel like he did something wrong when it was his fucking obnoxious retarded uncle putting all this onus on him disguised as a present. He'll whine and say "IM A BAD UNCLE I WAS JUST TRYING TO INTRODUCE MY NEPHEW TO MUSIC" and this poor kid just has to deal with this nightmare
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All very good points

Also the goon is falling into a weird trap of wanting to recreate...himself and indulge his arrested devolvement. It d be like wanting to play SUPER NINTENDO, or watch GOOD anime with kids.
 
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