Shitty Etsy Products

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ghostmice said:
you guys havent seen anything till youve seen the worm from labyrinth on etsy

He looks like something you find in a desert apocalypse scenario
https://www.etsy.com/listing/173791731/ello-worm-inspired-by-characters-in-the?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-11

Steve buscemi crossed with an aborted fetus
https://www.etsy.com/listing/475817176/made-to-order-labyrinth-worm-plush?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-21

My fat alcoholic grandmother after taking a shitton of lsd
https://www.etsy.com/listing/536906872/labyrinth-worm?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-25

Grey alien with a frontbrain
https://www.etsy.com/listing/565297264/ello-worm-from-labyrinth-2-available?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-34

Gods mistake
https://www.etsy.com/listing/520371982/labyrinth-worm-charm-ornament-allo-worm?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-47

TBH anything David Bowie related is sure to bring up tons of this shit
Click to expand...
Ow, my eyes.
 
more trudging through worm etsy

"I have an eye disease! twice! in both eyes!"-Monster Factory
https://www.etsy.com/listing/219966...arch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-45

20 dollars for a shitty painted wine glass! delightful
https://www.etsy.com/listing/263615...earch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-2

Cursed Object
https://www.etsy.com/listing/502850...arch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-44

this is the face of a man whom has never wiped the crusty boogers out of his eyes
https://www.etsy.com/listing/198016...earch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-5

this isnt,,,,worth nearly 16 dollars
https://www.etsy.com/listing/520499...earch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-9

:D
https://www.etsy.com/listing/268881...arch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-20

this thing is going to climb off of the wall and kill me a la doodlebob
https://www.etsy.com/listing/511387...arch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-14

ALMOST 200 DOLLARS THEY WANT FOR A MOUNTED WORM THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU SMASHED 200 MTG PLAYERS AND 150 METH ADDICTS TOGETHER INTO A HORRIFIC BLOB OF FAT ROLLS, B.O, AND FECAL MATTER
https://www.etsy.com/listing/542348...arch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-23

i dont have words anymore
https://www.etsy.com/listing/549108...arch_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-22
 
ghostmice said:
more trudging through worm etsy

"I have an eye disease! twice! in both eyes!"-Monster Factory
https://www.etsy.com/listing/219966236/ello-worm-labyrinth-crochet-pattern?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-45

20 dollars for a shitty painted wine glass! delightful
https://www.etsy.com/listing/263615306/80s-fantasy-movie-inspired-hand-painted?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-2

Cursed Object
https://www.etsy.com/listing/502850070/labyrinth-worm-golden-eye?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-1-44

this is the face of a man whom has never wiped the crusty boogers out of his eyes
https://www.etsy.com/listing/198016463/ello-worm?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-5

this isnt,,,,worth nearly 16 dollars
https://www.etsy.com/listing/520499390/labyrinth-inspired-miniature-blue-ello?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-9

:biggrin:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/268881426/labyrinth-worm?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-20

this thing is going to climb off of the wall and kill me a la doodlebob
https://www.etsy.com/listing/511387172/labyrinth-inspired-wall-hang?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-14

ALMOST 200 DOLLARS THEY WANT FOR A MOUNTED WORM THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU SMASHED 200 MTG PLAYERS AND 150 METH ADDICTS TOGETHER INTO A HORRIFIC BLOB OF FAT ROLLS, B.O, AND FECAL MATTER
https://www.etsy.com/listing/542348594/labyrinth-worm?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-23

i dont have words anymore
https://www.etsy.com/listing/549108543/worm-from-movie-labyrinth?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=labyrinth worm&ref=sr_gallery-2-22
Click to expand...

why are there so many of these?
 
ConcernedAnon said:
why are there so many of these?
Click to expand...
Because people(middle-aged and older women mostly) Really Like Labyrinth and worms are easy to sculpt. Like y'know how "potterheads" devote their entire lives to harry potter? Weird repressed older women do the same shit but with labyrinth. Because they think that being Quirky and having Quirky interests is the same as having an interesting personality and or life story. :powerlevel:My mother is one of the weird Labyrinth people, she also is the same way about the muppets. I feel almost bad for her sometimes:powerlevel:
 
Came across what looks like chubby chaser fetish jewelry.

grcspb.png

They all have these descriptions in them that are very obviously catering for that market. The worst one is this:

galiyd.png


"Jen is no longer easily accessible and needs to hold her belly button to lift the fat away from her parts"
 
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You know, if you had casually said to me "shrinky dinks of people with lymphedema," I would have thought it was some horrible Cards Against Humanity result. Where would you even wear those, a HAES convention?
 
toilet_rainbow said:
Came across what looks like chubby chaser fetish jewelry.

grcspb.png

They all have these descriptions in them that are very obviously catering for that market. The worst one is this:

galiyd.png


"Jen is no longer easily accessible and needs to hold her belly button to lift the fat away from her parts"
Click to expand...

The first set of those are kind of hilarious and could totally see them being worn by hipster types until a HAES has a conniption fit about it.
 
toilet_rainbow said:
Came across what looks like chubby chaser fetish jewelry.

grcspb.png

They all have these descriptions in them that are very obviously catering for that market. The worst one is this:

galiyd.png


"Jen is no longer easily accessible and needs to hold her belly button to lift the fat away from her parts"
Click to expand...
So that's where Barb's fat went!
 
toilet_rainbow said:
Came across what looks like chubby chaser fetish jewelry.

grcspb.png

They all have these descriptions in them that are very obviously catering for that market. The worst one is this:

galiyd.png


"Jen is no longer easily accessible and needs to hold her belly button to lift the fat away from her parts"
Click to expand...

They all look so unhappy.
Who would pin this to their bag? Some look like they are suffering and are struggling to move properly.
 
toilet_rainbow said:
Came across what looks like chubby chaser fetish jewelry.

grcspb.png

They all have these descriptions in them that are very obviously catering for that market. The worst one is this:

galiyd.png


"Jen is no longer easily accessible and needs to hold her belly button to lift the fat away from her parts"
Click to expand...

It's like they started selling authentic My 600 lb Life merchandise.

Those are truly repulsive. Imagine some chubby chasing perv wearing that around town.:cryblood:

Hopefully they keep it confined to their own pervy meetups and fatcons.
 
rated arr said:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/558185217/acceptance?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=fat acceptance&ref=sr_gallery-1-5 (nipple warning)

who would pay 1000+ dollars for this shit? looks like she has 3 tits
Click to expand...

Looks like somebody has a fetish.
https://www.facebook.com/BBWArtworkbyENForemay
His facebook is full of his shitty paintings.

Looks like a local gallery displayed his paintings at some point.
26229511_2083566561925806_323555335827546776_n.jpg

25660015_2076456995970096_8239370159009689680_n.jpg

http://www.nigelrudkinart.com
He has a website too.
 
Varg Did Nothing Wrong said:
View attachment 430418

0 sales, what a shock.
Click to expand...

It's a guy painting these? I thought for sure that it would be some fat HAES feminist. So he's a fat fetishist who is trying to make money off of his fap fuel. Those things are priced way too high. I imagine he could sell a few if they were reasonable. But most "artists" on Etsy greatly overestimate their talent and the worth of their pieces. None of this stuff is going to be treasured in museums 100 years from now. If you'd get over yourself maybe you'd actually make some money here and there.
 
I use Etsy to look for bones/skins and sometimes antique animal mounts (If you know what vulture culture is, it's that kind of stuff). So I kind of understand why Etsy suggested this to me. But why, God.

(Trigger warning - It's part of a dead animal)
 
Rabbit Bones said:
I use Etsy to look for bones/skins and sometimes antique animal mounts (If you know what vulture culture is, it's that kind of stuff). So I kind of understand why Etsy suggested this to me. But why, God.

(Trigger warning - It's part of a dead animal)
Click to expand...

Damn holy fuck that is the perfect redneck gift. My words fail to encompass its hillbilly glory!
 
I imagine having a crystal refracting light in between your eyes would get pretty distracting . Hopefully some hipster faggot drives their VW camper van off a cliff while wearing these
20180420_145925.png
 
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Rabbit Bones said:
I use Etsy to look for bones/skins and sometimes antique animal mounts (If you know what vulture culture is, it's that kind of stuff). So I kind of understand why Etsy suggested this to me. But why, God.

(Trigger warning - It's part of a dead animal)
Click to expand...

Beautiful.
It's so redneck. I wish they would have painted the confederate flag on the nuts, though.

Back to content:

il_fullxfull.1527895815_kynk.jpg

Screenshot_2018-04-20-11-22-56.png

So this one account is selling "photostories". They always use the same actors for everything and it looks very dumb, but there also appears to be porn in some. I don't know, they don't even bother writing a proper description of the thing.
It's so weird, man.
Screenshot_2018-04-20-11-20-04.png

Link (NSFW - sort of)

Screenshot_2018-04-20-11-23-22.png
Wait, no, apparently that is the bisexual flag.
Couldn't they pick shades of blue and purple that people could actually tell apart?

Screenshot_2018-04-20-11-24-34.png
But the text doesn't sound too good.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this one, but those corals looked like fingers on the thumbnail.
Screenshot_2018-04-20-11-07-03.png

Screenshot_2018-04-20-11-10-56.png
 
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