Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[OvercookedBacon]

Was anyone else here a bully who bullied teachers?

Nope, but I got to witness literally an entire class torment the geometry teacher to the point of near-insanity. Constant yelling, throwing stuff at him, typical underachiever high schooler shit. Was the only one who actually did my work.

Shame, he was a good guy, let me borrow his copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four once.

 

[FuckedUp]

In the middle of math class during 7th grade, we had heard a group of black students, probably about 5-6 of them, the main provocateur being someone I had thought was a fairly okay kid, ganged up on a recess supervisor, and we were basically allowed outside to see the results for some reason. He told them to stop fucking with some gym equipment, which were long, metal pipes, and what did they do? They used said pipes to attack him, but the only thing I saw on him with a really bloody nose. No idea what happened to the kids after that.

Sounds based.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Back in middle school, we had to make powerpoints about WW2. Unsurprisingly, lots of people made one about Hitler. One person made one about what she claimed to believe was Hitler reincarnated as a cat.

I say claimed because I refuse to believe she wasn't messing with everyone. Remember her being very serious about this, though.

Think someone else wanted to do his presentation dressed as Hitler.

 

[Plague Flea]

A girl at my secondary school (ages 11-13 for non Britbongs) released a fire extinguisher over the morning school assembly. She’d been sniffing glue and was completely off her tits. The headmaster and the first year pupils sitting on the front row got the worst of it. I never saw her again, so I assume she was expelled.

 

[The Last Stand]

I found all 4 discs from that Diablo I/II box set on a shelf in high school. I wanted to play Diablo II badly around that time and, having lost my own set (I was not familiar with acquiring games yet at this point), I took them home.

I found a copy of Modern Warfare 2 on the floor in the middle of dismissal. This was 2011.

 

[mario if smoke weed]

I had to explain what a furry is to my psychology teacher because some autismo with wolf ears opened the door. Luckily it was a surface-level explanation that only took a few minutes to explain.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Was anyone else here a bully who bullied teachers?

Not me, per se, but a good portion of my 5th grade class decided to hassle the first sub we had after our regular teacher finished reading us the story Thirteen Ways to Sink a Sub -- a story in which a class tries to find ways to make their sub break down in tears. The full story of what happened is here behind the first spoiler. Our regular teacher was so mad when she found out what happened, that every single one one us had to write an apology letter to the sub even if we didn't participate in the inappropriate behavior.

Another thing about the course was that every section took the exams at the same time in a big ~300-person lecture hall at 6 PM. RIP anyone who had a class at that time on those days, I guess.

At the university I attended, this was true for both Chemistry I/II and Accounting I/II because it was easier for the professor lecturing for those classes to administer the exam for multiple sections at one time (and to prevent students from the earlier classes from giving students in the later ones hints as to what was on the exam).

I'm not 100% sure, but I think people enrolled in those classes would have a block set up on their schedule that would prevent them from enrolling in a course during the designated evening exam time. So, someone whose Chemistry Exams took place from 6-9 PM on Tuesdays would automatically be prevented from enrolling in something else that met at that time.
===
Since I'm thinking about college, I'll share the latest college story that comes to mind. After my morning class ended one day during my freshman year, I went to what was the commons area that features space for students to sit/hang out with the bookstore on one side and the on-campus restaurants on the other. When I got there, a number of my colleagues were playing the card game Asshole (aka President). After the current round ended, whomever was the new President ordered the new Asshole to go up the stairs behind us to the mezzanine that overlooked the commons area and shout out, "I'm the asshole!" A number of students walking through the commons area to/from class or some other destination all looked up in some form of surprise, shock, or confusion to see a 6'9" (2.06 m) dude shouting out from the mezzanine, "I'm the asshole!" over the sounds of the campus radio station and the usual din.

 

[Timmy Testicles]

in high school, a few friends and i had this whole in joke about a character we called "the negromancer". he was this cartoon pimp with a wizard hat we'd draw on shit all the time and pass it between ourselves. anyways, one day, we had a black substitute and one of my friends gets caught drawing a hyper-detailed negromancer, complete with massive red lips, saying "wuz poppin my niggity nogs".

 

[Ginger Piglet]

The Geordie Geography Teacher.

Or, how we slut-shamed a newly qualified educator into quitting the profession.

(Note for non-Britbongs: Geordies are people from the North East of England, specifically, the area round the city of Newcastle. It is also their accent, though they are quite parochial about it and there is reportedly a difference between Geordie, Mackem, Sand Dancer, Pitmatic, and Smoggie accents though to everyone else they all sound the same and all, frankly, need subtitles.)

Cathy Dodd (for that was almost her name) just qualified as a teacher and was employed in our all boys grammar school to teach geography. She had a thick Geordie accent to the point at which those of us in her classes would start deliberately using Geordie-isms like "why aye" and "canny" and "can I'z gan the netty miss" and "haddaway an' shite" to annoy her. Fairly standard teenage monstrosity, I think you'll agree.

Anyhow. At this school there was a young groundskeeper who had what can only be described as a weird voice and pubic-like head hair. He also assisted in coaching field hockey. Miss Dodd made the biggest mistake of her career.

She fucked him.

He then bragged about fucking "that Geordie geography teacher" to the school field hockey team. They then told everyone else about how Miss Dodd fucked the groundskeeper. The story got more excessive and intricate and lurid at each telling. Eventually the general Geordie accent mockery was replaced by asking her endlessly about whether they did it in his hut and whether it was true he shoved the handle of his rake up her minge and similar improbable things.

She quit at the end of the year and got a job as something totally different. The groundskeeper was fired for sexual harassment when it turned out how he leaked it. No idea what he went on to do after that.

I wasn't in any of her classes but a friend of mine who was told me that "I think we're going to hell for this."

 

[tasty humane burger]

Back in middle school, we had to make powerpoints about WW2. Unsurprisingly, lots of people made one about Hitler. One person made one about what she claimed to believe was Hitler reincarnated as a cat.

I say claimed because I refuse to believe she wasn't messing with everyone. Remember her being very serious about this, though.

Think someone else wanted to do his presentation dressed as Hitler.

This reminds me of the time when we were learning about WWII in primary school and got banned from saying Hitler because it made everyone laugh. So everyone started slapping their thighs (Hit) and then saying "Lur" anytime they wanted to talk about him.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Since this has been my week to share college stories, I'll share one more from my freshman year at the University.

Spoiler: Hidden for Length

The aforementioned commons area was part of a larger concourse where students gathered or used the building as a go-between to other buildings or the main parking lot. The building also held classrooms and faculty offices in an adjacent wing. As a result, there were always people on the go in and out -- especially because the university didn't have on-campus housing at the time.

One day during the fall semester, Student Activities had arranged for Carrot Top to come do an early afternoon act in the part of the concourse that had enough open space to accommodate a small/portable stage. The act started out like any other, but Carrot top slowly got upset at the number of people going through the concourse to go elsewhere on campus or to go home. Before long, he finally blew his top (no pun intended) and started to cuss passers-by out with variations of, "That's right, ignore my god damned fucking show that I'm trying to put on for you!" Because he was more interested in cussing them out, his actual performance came off as uninspired and wasn't really all that funny. The more he cussed, some students that stayed to watch him started to heckle him for wasting time cussing out passers-by instead of entertaining those genuinely interested in his act.

When he finally finished, the classmates I sat with and I all looked at each other with a "WTF did we just sit through?" expression. Although I can't say it definitively, I believe Student Activities shied away from inviting famous comedians/comediennes in the future on account of his behavior because I never saw any other big-name celebs on stage during the day for the remainder of my undergraduate years.

TL;DR - Carrot Top comes on campus to perform and spends more time cussing out passers-by than actually performing what ended up being a rather bland act.

Surprisingly, this wasn't the worst performance I saw on that stage. I'll save that for another time if there's sufficient interest.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Since this has been my week to share college stories, I'll share one more from my freshman year at the University.

Spoiler: Hidden for Length

The aforementioned commons area was part of a larger concourse where students gathered or used the building as a go-between to other buildings or the main parking lot. The building also held classrooms and faculty offices in an adjacent wing. As a result, there were always people on the go in and out -- especially because the university didn't have on-campus housing at the time.

One day during the fall semester, Student Activities had arranged for Carrot Top to come do an early afternoon act in the part of the concourse that had enough open space to accommodate a small/portable stage. The act started out like any other, but Carrot top slowly got upset at the number of people going through the concourse to go elsewhere on campus or to go home. Before long, he finally blew his top (no pun intended) and started to cuss passers-by out with variations of, "That's right, ignore my god damned fucking show that I'm trying to put on for you!" Because he was more interested in cussing them out, his actual performance came off as uninspired and wasn't really all that funny. The more he cussed, some students that stayed to watch him started to heckle him for wasting time cussing out passers-by instead of entertaining those genuinely interested in his act.

When he finally finished, the classmates I sat with and I all looked at each other with a "WTF did we just sit through?" expression. Although I can't say it definitively, I believe Student Activities shied away from inviting famous comedians/comediennes in the future on account of his behavior because I never saw any other big-name celebs on stage during the day for the remainder of my undergraduate years.

TL;DR - Carrot Top comes on campus to perform and spends more time cussing out passers-by than actually performing what ended up being a rather bland act.

Surprisingly, this wasn't the worst performance I saw on that stage. I'll save that for another time if there's sufficient interest.

It wasn't Interior Semiotics was it?

Oh, I'd love to hear a first hand account of that trainwreck by someone who was actually there.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

It wasn't Interior Semiotics was it?

Thankfully, no.

I don't even know who the performer was or what the actual performance was supposed to be about. Although Vagina Monologues didn't come out for another 3-4 year after this event, one might wonder if the two acts were somehow related.

The part I remember most (unfortunately) is a woman telling some story how she got naked in her room and put a mirror on the floor so she could look down and see her vagina. The only thing is that she insisted on calling it a "nunu" for whatever reason as her preferred pet name for it. She then went into full detail about looking at it via the mirror .

To this day, I still can't figure out the purpose of that "act." I'd like to believe it was supposed to be some sort of a lesson in body positivity, but it presented itself far too creepy and cringeworthy for that even if I accept the premise that college is when one gets exposed to all sorts of ideas and opinions that differ from one's own .

 

[AnOminous]

TL;DR - Carrot Top comes on campus to perform and spends more time cussing out passers-by than actually performing what ended up being a rather bland act.

Carrot Top was always a shitty prop comic and that was even before he roided out and got super weird, like a muscle troon looking weirdo.

 

[Broseph]

Since this has been my week to share college stories, I'll share one more from my freshman year at the University.

Spoiler: Hidden for Length

The aforementioned commons area was part of a larger concourse where students gathered or used the building as a go-between to other buildings or the main parking lot. The building also held classrooms and faculty offices in an adjacent wing. As a result, there were always people on the go in and out -- especially because the university didn't have on-campus housing at the time.

One day during the fall semester, Student Activities had arranged for Carrot Top to come do an early afternoon act in the part of the concourse that had enough open space to accommodate a small/portable stage. The act started out like any other, but Carrot top slowly got upset at the number of people going through the concourse to go elsewhere on campus or to go home. Before long, he finally blew his top (no pun intended) and started to cuss passers-by out with variations of, "That's right, ignore my god damned fucking show that I'm trying to put on for you!" Because he was more interested in cussing them out, his actual performance came off as uninspired and wasn't really all that funny. The more he cussed, some students that stayed to watch him started to heckle him for wasting time cussing out passers-by instead of entertaining those genuinely interested in his act.

When he finally finished, the classmates I sat with and I all looked at each other with a "WTF did we just sit through?" expression. Although I can't say it definitively, I believe Student Activities shied away from inviting famous comedians/comediennes in the future on account of his behavior because I never saw any other big-name celebs on stage during the day for the remainder of my undergraduate years.

TL;DR - Carrot Top comes on campus to perform and spends more time cussing out passers-by than actually performing what ended up being a rather bland act.

Surprisingly, this wasn't the worst performance I saw on that stage. I'll save that for another time if there's sufficient interest.

Carrot Top was always a lolcow.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

The part I remember most (unfortunately) is a woman telling some story how she got naked in her room and put a mirror on the floor so she could look down and see her vagina. The only thing is that she insisted on calling it a "nunu" for whatever reason as her preferred pet name for it. She then went into full detail about looking at it via the mirror .

To this day, I still can't figure out the purpose of that "act." I'd like to believe it was supposed to be some sort of a lesson in body positivity, but it presented itself far too creepy and cringeworthy for that even if I accept the premise that college is when one gets exposed to all sorts of ideas and opinions that differ from one's own .

Never understood what is so empowering about talking about one's vagina. I don't feel shocked by it. Just rather bored really. We know you have one, love, so does everyone else of the female persuasion.

 

[Enola Straight]

In 6th grade there was this guy I really hated. Looking back on it I'm can't even remember why or what, if anything he did. Anyway, I pretended to be his mom and called up our science teacher (a gigantic bitch but good teacher) and complained about how "my" son was being bullied. Not true, he was kind of popular in truth. The next day the teacher had a speech in front of the class about how the kid's mom called and was giving us all silent lunch for two weeks due to her very intense no-bully policy. Needless to say everyone was pissed at the kid for lying on them, all the while he had idea what the hell was going on.

tl;dr I got the entire class to bully a semi-popular kid for months. That was easily the cuntiest thing I did at that age.

 

[Dwight Schrute]

In 6th grade there was this guy I really hated. Looking back on it I'm can't even remember why or what, if anything he did. Anyway, I pretended to be his mom and called up our science teacher (a gigantic bitch but good teacher) and complained about how "my" son was being bullied. Not true, he was kind of popular in truth. The next day the teacher had a speech in front of the class about how the kid's mom called and was giving us all silent lunch for two weeks due to her very intense no-bully policy. Needless to say everyone was pissed at the kid for lying on them, all the while he had idea what the hell was going on.

tl;dr I got the entire class to bully a semi-popular kid for months. That was easily the cuntiest thing I did at that age.

Honestly, the popular kids deserved to get bullied instead of pampered like they do. There was this one time in middle school, I had a crush on this one popular redhead. I had my stepfather take me to the store one night and I got a love card, came up with some cheesy message, and wrote it. The next day, I had my friend take the card over to her. When lunch was over, she threw the card in my face.

Fuckin' bitch.

 

[PaleTay]

Honestly, the popular kids deserved to get bullied instead of pampered like they do. There was this one time in middle school, I had a crush on this one popular redhead. I had my stepfather take me to the store one night and I got a love card, came up with some cheesy message, and wrote it. The next day, I had my friend take the card over to her. When lunch was over, she threw the card in my face.

Fuckin' bitch.

The popular girls have no boundaries. A lot of them are just really possessive, annoying, and high maintenance. I remember a few would follow me around when I was trying to study for AP exams to try to keep me company, and I never really got a chance to talk to the girls I wanted to at parties because someone would appear to try to talk to me.

There was one girl who got her mansion trashed when she threw a house party, and that's one of the only examples of karma she's received in her life. Horrible person but she has a pretty face and rich parents.

 

[Bunny Tracks]

One time, one of my friend brought a pineapple to class, and we proceeded to peel, cut up, and eat the entire thing in full-view of the teacher who didn't even fucking say anything, or try to stop us.