Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[drain]

Oh shit, we had a pedo physics teacher too! He wasn't nearly as bad as that, but he did always act kinda weird around the girls in class and took a lot of opportunities to stand close to them. Always looked like he just woke up from a hangover too, would have food bits in his unkempt beard, shit like that.

He was gone the next year. They never told us why, but it wasn't hard to figure out.

Man, wtf is wrong with physics teachers like, holy shit

 

[Spunt]

When I was in the lower 6th form (in the UK, age 16-17), we had a scheme where L6 kids would be paired up with kids in year 7 (age 11-12) to do one-on-one reading with them, discuss the books with them, help them with any words they didn't know etc. The kid I was paired with was pretty smart and didn't really need my help, so I got a quiet 40 minutes once a week. But one of my friends was paired up with a kid called Tom.

Something was really, really off about Tom. He looked Mongoloid, but because he had an Asian surname he may have got his epicanthic folds the normal way. I'm pretty sure he had some level of autism, but he didn't get any special ed provisions as far as I knew (and in the UK you'll get special ed provision out the wazoo if your kid is in any way subnormal, it's not hard to get if you need it), and it looks like his parents decided to mainstream school him either out of denial or a misplaced desire to socialise him.

Whilst my kid burned through three Willard Price books over the course of the school year (Who else remembers Willard Price books? They were equal parts ludicrous and badass.), Tom didn't manage to get even half way through his first book. It wasn't through lack of reading ability, just a complete inability to concentrate on the book, or even on reality. Trying to talk to the kid would result in a non-sequitur. This kid just parroted phrases he'd heard like a Mynah Bird, completely out of context. He had a number of phrases he'd use constantly. I remember one, "Go on Shag, have a go, he's off his line!", because it was from a Nick Hancock football bloopers video that I happened to own. But his favourite was "Always leave the water running", said in the same tone of voice as "No wire hangers" from Mommy Dearest. I have no idea where that was from, but if you asked him a question there was about a 25% chance that this would be his reply.

He was usually very calm and quiet, but would have random outbursts of emotion that were completely out of control, over trivial shit that was never possibly to predict. One class the teacher asked the kids to design the front cover for some short booklet they were supposed to write. 5 minutes in, Tom takes his "artwork" to the teacher. The teacher asks what he wants, and he holds the paper up to her, says "I don't like it!" and burst into tears. This then became a screaming tantrum necessitating him being removed from the building. The even weirder thing was that he hadn't drawn anything yet, just a square border.

 

[AnOminous]

Man, wtf is wrong with physics teachers like, holy shit

They're nerds.

 

[Chan Fan]

I had a close friend in high school that I met through a mutual friend. Let's call him BS (because those were literally his initials haha!) He was a really good guy, super nice, interesting, had the drive at 14 to work out and lose a bunch of weight, volunteered with disabled kids, pretty much a solid guy across the board. We lost touch for a few years until one day he called me and asked if we could hang out again...then it got weird.

I expected to meet up with the same guy from school but BS was much different. He told me his aspiration was to be a bartender and he used all of the money not spent on rent and gas to buy alcohol and used his entire tax return check at a liquor outlet store. He did that thing where he didn't directly ask me for money but kept talking about how he didn't know how he was going to make rent and how he didn't have any food. The first few times we hung out I didn't think much of it because I figured he just needed someone to vent to. Knowing he didn't have any food at his place I bought a bag of bagels and a jar of peanut butter, thinking I could keep it there for a snack when I went to visit him again and the next time I was there he said his roommate's dog ate it. He was unable to explain to me how the dog got into the kitchen cabitnet to a shelf six feet off the ground so I never did that again.

Perhaps the weirdest thing about the guy was he was suddenly very interested in his Irish heritage and said that was why he liked to drink. His last name was absolutely NOT Irish nor was he able to prove this heritage in any way. He just started telling everyone he was Irish and at one point asked his male friend if he wanted to have an "Irish family reunion" with him and when I asked what that meant he said "he's gonna meet me in a parking lot later so we can fight." It turns out that BS only had this weird obsession because he liked the movie The Boondock Saints [which is an awesome movie but not worth faking your heritage over.]

Oh, and he had a dating profile that said he was "looking for a woman who will stroke my hair when I'm took drunk to stand." I made the mistake of lending him money and once I finally got it back he never spoke to me again and good riddance! The only good thing to come out of that friendship is being able to tell this story lol

 

[The Last Stand]

Oh shit, we had a pedo physics teacher too! He wasn't nearly as bad as that, but he did always act kinda weird around the girls in class and took a lot of opportunities to stand close to them. Always looked like he just woke up from a hangover too, would have food bits in his unkempt beard, shit like that.

I had one Science teacher that wanted to give an hands on demonstration with a student about some science topic. I can't even remember the topic. This was high school.

I DO remember he called on me to "demonstrate" the concept in front of the whole class. He told me to stand in front in him, while he THRUSTED himself onto my back. He grabbed me on my shoulders, pushed (or pulled) me towards him and then thrusted his body onto me. While holding me.

I was visibly shaking and he whispered into my ear, "Stop." each time I was squirming.

He was a very fat guy too. Bald as well. I did not know what to do at the time. Nobody said anything.

 

[AnOminous]

Oh, and he had a dating profile that said he was "looking for a woman who will stroke my hair when I'm took drunk to stand." I made the mistake of lending him money and once I finally got it back he never spoke to me again and good riddance!

That's actually a good way to get rid of people like this. Since they avoid you when they owe you money, just loan them $20 or something and you'll never see them again.

 

[Master Crouton]

In high school there was this girl who would create weird fake profiles on Facebook of heavily tattooed emo guys and sock puppet them to flirt with her on her profile and pictures. It was obvious that they were fake because;

1. the profiles were so barren
2.they had the same shitty vocabulary and grammar quirks as she did
3. she would use pictures of several different guys per profile and claim they were all the same person, which was super obvious because they all had different tattoos.

It was like observing the e-equivalent of a girl child playing pretend with her dolls. She would orchestrate arguments between the different profiles, sometimes arguing over her (she ‘dated’ them at different times) and other times the arguments had nothing to do with her and were over fake scenarios that went down between these imaginary people. It was truly odd.

She also would steal pictures of girls who had similar hair to her’s, but with the face slightly covered, and claim that they were photos of her. It was really strange because she was very attractive and visually had no need to be pretending to be someone else.

It became super obvious that she was playing pretend on Facebook one cringy day when she had uploaded a image of a girl getting tattooed on the wrist and claimed it was her in the photo. Ofc she comes to school the next day and has nothing to show her eager classmates who were curious about her new ink.

 

[Paulie #1]

In middle school, this creepy perfect blue Mamoru looking guy was stalking me from afar for about 4 months all because I had paired up with him for an art class project. ( I ended up getting a low grade on the project too because that asshole didn't finish his half of the project) He would constantly lick his lips because they were always chapped which always made him look like a crackhead when he would constantly lick his lower lip rapidly for like 2 minutes straight.

He would constantly follow me at a distance everywhere I went and it was super creepy. It got to the point where I had to hide in the restrooms during Lunchtime and ask my friends to walk me home because he would constantly follow me. It was so weird too because we probably only spoke to each other like 4 times when we did the art project.

Before the school year ended, he tried to ask me out during a school assembly by creeping up behind me and trying to grab my hand and pull me in for a embrace/hug (??) I was so over all the creepy bullshit and ended up chewing him out and telling him to stay away from me.
I guess just a small "fuck off" was enough for him to back off and never pursue me again. I found out years later that he did this to multiple girls at the time too which makes me feel so dumb for never really telling anyone at the school about that creep. big yikes.

I also later found out in Highschool that this creeper got kicked out of my rivalry high school because he threatened to "harm" an economics teacher over stupid politics or something.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

In first grade, we had one of those Christmas music programs the entire class was putting together and I was excited for it, we practiced it in music class all the time and I just couldn't wait to sing in front of everyone. But there apparently was a specific way we were practicing it that on that night, I was expecting this one thing we had always done it in when in actuality they were going about it another way. Out of shock and anger in having to be expected to "do something else" (I never liked change and routines being different growing up lol), I just sat in my chair in the very front pouting and having a scowl on my face and refused to do anything except glare over the top of my glasses. The entire hour. In my nicest clothes with my hair prettied up. Not even the teacher could get me to budge.

I only still remember this because my mom captured it on video complete with close-ups on my grumpy face. Apparently it was distracting to the audience to see this little girl pouting in front of the entire room, and Mom was just not happy about it, said it was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. We've gone on to joke that we could've sent it in to America's Funniest Home Videos all those years ago, but never went through with it. But Mom's made a note to put it the under "[Kari's] Most Embarrassing Childhood Pictures/Videos" label for my dates/spouse.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

In first grade, we had one of those Christmas music programs the entire class was putting together and I was excited for it, we practiced it in music class all the time and I just couldn't wait to sing in front of everyone. But there apparently was a specific way we were practicing it that on that night, I was expecting this one thing we had always done it in when in actuality they were going about it another way. Out of shock and anger in having to be expected to "do something else" (I never liked change and routines being different growing up lol), I just sat in my chair in the very front pouting and having a scowl on my face and refused to do anything except glare over the top of my glasses. The entire hour. In my nicest clothes with my hair prettied up. Not even the teacher could get me to budge.

I only still remember this because my mom captured it on video complete with close-ups on my grumpy face. Apparently it was distracting to the audience to see this little girl pouting in front of the entire room, and Mom was just not happy about it, said it was one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. We've gone on to joke that we could've sent it in to America's Funniest Home Videos all those years ago, but never went through with it. But Mom's made a note to put it the under "[Kari's] Most Embarrassing Childhood Pictures/Videos" label for my dates/spouse.

Back in 5th grade band we were preparing for a big concert featuring all the of the nearby elementary school bands, I think both 5th and 6th grade. There was one song in particular that we would play where every time we practiced it, we skipped past one particular part. Our band teacher told us when we first learned the song to skip it and every other time we just knew to do that. Whenever I practiced I skipped over that section, like we did in band practice. Well, apparently there was a secret meeting before the concert where the band leader said "hey, we're going to go ahead and play this section at the concert even though we never practiced it. Nobody tell Reldnahc." When we reached that song in the program and I'm dootin away on my trumpet like a boss and all of a sudden I realize that the entirety of the band is doing something very different than what I'm doing. After a few confused honks and a moment of silence I realized that we were in fact performing the section we were always told to skip. I was able to play along decently well and the next few times we ran through that section I had figured out what to do, but our school's trumpet section sounded pretty rough for a bit. There were exactly two trumpet players and I was the not-shitty one, so if I don't know what to do we're kind of doomed.

 

[Brain Power]

I had a classmate in high school that ate only apples for a whole year. She was somewhat overweight, and according to her, she was doing a diet to lose a lot of weight. At 14. I warned her about "miracle diets" but she never listened. And guess what, the next year she told me the diet ruined her stomach.

 

[Chan Fan]

I went to high school in the suburbs and for some reason all the delinquent kids loved to talk about how they were in gangs. Most of the kids "claimed crip" which meant they only said they were in the gang but weren't part of it "yet." One girl even carved their symbol on her ankle. Of all the kids who claimed them none of them would wear red. It was all pretty hard to take serious. To me, the funniest part was that this random girl who hung out with the crip guys said she wouldn't wear purple because it was a "[other school] color." The name of the other school's gang? The Purpletrators. Yep, like the word perpetrator, only it incorporated their color haha

 

[Mr. ShadowCreek]

Back in my freshman year (2006 or 2007) my teacher Mrs. Brown got in a little trouble because a boulder some classmates made was mistaken for a bomb. Our class was learning about Greek myths and we all head to do a product on a myth. One group did it on Sisyphus, the man who had to push a boulder for all eternity. They made a boulder out of newspapers and other materials. They put it outside to dry for the day. Someone saw it and thought it was a bomb. the bomb squad came and tore it apart. Mrs. Brown blamed the whole class for it.

In the same class their was this kid a year ahead of me called Andrew, but we'll call him "Angry Elf". Angry Elf sat alone at this big table in the middle of the class for whatever reason. He wasn't special or anything but he sat alone. During Christmas time one of the secondary teachers in the class gave or main teacher Mrs. Brown one of those clear plates that have clear rocks on it. She put it on the big desk next to Angry Elf's bookbag...yep. Just 5 minutes or so later Angry Elf grabbed his bag to get something and there was a loud crash. The plate shattered and the rocks went everywhere. Like a bunch of kindergartens everyone's month was open except Angry Elfs who had his hand over his month. The mess was cleaned and the secondary teacher looked all mopey afterword's. My friend Chris and I left later snickering and joking about it.

 

[Chan Fan]

When I was in 6th grade I was in orchestra. My 5th grade music program was such a joke and I thought this had to be better...I was wrong. The teacher was not a good teacher at all. Not horrible, but definitely not good either. She had a really strange name too, and when I asked her about it she said it was "French-Cajun." It took her 15-20 minutes EVERY DAY to tune everyone's instruments and once tuned you had to play scales so she could tune everyone else's. That meant up to 20 minutes of playing four string notes over and over each day. She said we were absolutely not allowed to tune them ourselves, even though a few students brought their own instruments from home.

It was two students to each sheet music stand and there was this terrible kid everyone hated named T that no one wanted to sit with. Oddly enough there was nothing weird about the way he looked, he was just always making up lies and being really creepy to the girls. The teacher made me sit by T and share a stand. After a few days of his creepiness I told her I needed to move to another seat because he was harassing me (it seems extreme to say an 11 was sexually harassing the girls but it was the closest thing to that an 11-year-old could muster.) The teacher just looked at me and said "no." I huffed and repeated "No?" and she said it again. I went over my list of grievances with him and she wouldn't move me so I said, "Okay, I'll just have my mom call the school and complain" and I guess she thought I was kidding but that's what happened and I was moved shortly after that.

So our Christmas recital rolls around and everyone is super excited. It goes off without a hitch. Everyone rushes behind the stage and she starts crying, telling everyone how proud she was. Then she tells us it's her last day, her husband got another job and she has to move. Then we never saw her again. The replacement they hired months later was even worse than her and I ended up being taken out of the program. It took the joy out of music for me for a short time. It's just weird to me how these terrible teachers somehow found a way to take the joy out of music for a group of kids who were excited to learn about it.

 

[CWCissey]

When I was in 6th grade I was in orchestra. My 5th grade music program was such a joke and I thought this had to be better...I was wrong. The teacher was not a good teacher at all. Not horrible, but definitely not good either. She had a really strange name too, and when I asked her about it she said it was "French-Cajun." It took her 15-20 minutes EVERY DAY to tune everyone's instruments and once tuned you had to play scales so she could tune everyone else's. That meant up to 20 minutes of playing four string notes over and over each day. She said we were absolutely not allowed to tune them ourselves, even though a few students brought their own instruments from home.

It was two students to each sheet music stand and there was this terrible kid everyone hated named T that no one wanted to sit with. Oddly enough there was nothing weird about the way he looked, he was just always making up lies and being really creepy to the girls. The teacher made me sit by T and share a stand. After a few days of his creepiness I told her I needed to move to another seat because he was harassing me (it seems extreme to say an 11 was sexually harassing the girls but it was the closest thing to that an 11-year-old could muster.) The teacher just looked at me and said "no." I huffed and repeated "No?" and she said it again. I went over my list of grievances with him and she wouldn't move me so I said, "Okay, I'll just have my mom call the school and complain" and I guess she thought I was kidding but that's what happened and I was moved shortly after that.

So our Christmas recital rolls around and everyone is super excited. It goes off without a hitch. Everyone rushes behind the stage and she starts crying, telling everyone how proud she was. Then she tells us it's her last day, her husband got another job and she has to move. Then we never saw her again. The replacement they hired months later was even worse than her and I ended up being taken out of the program. It took the joy out of music for me for a short time. It's just weird to me how these terrible teachers somehow found a way to take the joy out of music for a group of kids who were excited to learn about it.

Sadly that's music teachers for you.

Kids want to play cool shit that's interesting. Music teachers focus on fucking Pachelbel's Canon and other maudlin crap then wonder why kids get turned off of playing an instrument.

 

[Chan Fan]

Sadly that's music teachers for you.

Kids want to play cool shit that's interesting. Music teachers focus on fucking Pachelbel's Canon and other maudlin crap then wonder why kids get turned off of playing an instrument.

A few of the kids were beginners but they picked it up pretty quickly but this lady legit wanted us to the play the same song over and over for WEEKS at a time. It was like we couldn't flourish so we withered instead. It wasn't exciting to play scales and the same super easy song constantly, you know? I never regretted getting out of that class. Much more fun to figure out how to play stuff by ear in my room

 

[Reshiram Battle.mp3]

>be in middleschool, have no friends because you're a beta cuck and sperged about videogames 5 too many times
>decide to group up with other social rejects to have some semblance of group validation
>befriend pre-pubescent boy with a broken front tooth that talked exclusively and constantly about how he wanted to fuck french models or ginger nords
>lose sanity over the course of the following years because you had to listen to this every day with no normal conversations with this kid because he didn't understand what fuck off meant

 

[Brain Power]

One of the first things I remember from school was some children showing up at the playground with a trash bag. What was inside that bag? A DEAD PUPPY, STILL BLEEDING. The week before that, the same puppy was playing with me. What a lovely memory for my first year of school...

 

[Toilet Grenade]

The worst thing I ever experienced in school was the time when we came back from lunch and we all saw a used condom in the middle of the hallway. Everyone in that hallway went apeshit and scattered.

 

[Chan Fan]

The worst thing I ever experienced in school was the time when we came back from lunch and we all saw a used condom in the middle of the hallway. Everyone in that hallway went apeshit and scattered.

There was a similar incident that happened to a friend of mine but it was on the bus