Severe Weather outbreaks

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The Northern Tornado Project, the team that surveys Canadian tornadoes and assisted with the Enderlin EF5 survey, is investigating a tornado in Alberta from last year (July 2024) that may have had damage consistent with EF4-EF5 windspeeds.
The twist? This was a fucking fire tornado.
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This was also apparently a forecasted sounding from east of the area around that time, which would be sufficient for strong tornadoes to occur.
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The previous strongest fire tornado was an EF3 in California in 2018 (Carr Fire Tornado). This may skip EF4 and go all the way to EF5.
And then you realize this is what happened in the middle of Dresden and Tokyo.
 
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Historic and catastrophic flooding ongoing in Washington associated with an atmospheric river
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The entire fucking world would be getting auroras if this motherfucker WASN'T POSITIVE FUCKING FIFTY
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Also that's the warning for a geomagnetic storm, which to be fair, is incredibly powerful with some record-breaking stats of its own.
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This is the graphic for the solar radiation storm, which is the first S4 storm since 2003 and the 3rd strongest solar radiation storm ever recorded, only beaten by one in 1989 and another in 1991, making it the strongest in 35 years.
 
Stephan Burns put a video about this as well:

He then did a stream about it once it hit:

And then this was posted today (1/20/2026)
 
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"Boy I sure do hop-"
the overbearing lake effect snow band:

in other news: word is spreading of very cold temperatures and a possible winter storm in the southern-central US


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In my location, it's currently 2 above. No wind, but just walking at a decent pace makes it worse. They're predecting below average temparatures for the next two weeks, this is going to fucking suck
 
I posted this elsewhere in the other thread, but figured it might also be helpful to people here:

I wrote up this impromptu "guide" for making living in the wake of these fucking things tolerable elsewhere, but thought I might post it here - people might find it useful. There's doubtlessly going to be a run on the stores [especially in the south/mid-Atlantic, but elsewhere too since Ohioans and the like STILL go and strip the shelves of milk/bread/eggs even if they're only calling for six inches of snow], I guess all of a sudden everybody gets in the mood for French toast when there's snow coming. But anyway, ice storms suck DICK. I would legitimately rather contend with any other weather event/conditions - aside from a derecho, of course. I'd probably take my chances in a fucking hurricane rather than an ice storm, as long as it isn't some Katrina-level event. Anyhow, having lived through quite a few of these fucking storms, here are some things I WISH I would have thought of before they hit:

Unironically if this weekend storm does what they think it's going to, shit's gonna get real rough in much of the mid-South. Legit if I lived down there I'd be stocking up on shit and getting the generator ready [or acquiring one if you don't currently have one] and I hardly ever do that for winter storms.

Even like 2-3 feet of snow isn't that big of a deal in Ohio because we have the infrastructure in place to deal with it, even in the worst lake effect/snowfall areas it'll take maybe twelve to eighteen hours for roads to be passable again unless the wind keeps blowing it back on the damn road [which does happen sometimes] because you'll typically have local county trucks and DOT staged ahead of time and ready to at least get a start on it.

But in the south, most states don't really have that infrastructure in quite that quantity and it's not usually on deck/ready to go like our shit is in the northern states/midwest.

And that's just for snow, ice is way fucking worse.

Like if some regions end up getting like 2 fucking inches of ice like these models seem to suggest, you're looking at like 4-5 days without power even in cities/towns, a week plus if you're out in the boonies. Ice storms are like a cascade of shit rolling downhill. The ice builds up on the powerlines and weighs them down or does the same to tree branches, pulling them down onto the lines, because the temps are so fucking cold transformers start blowing up. And unlike a regular windstorm or a severe thunderstorm, the power company can't just stage shit beforehand too well [because winter storm tracks are a lot more unpredictable] and they can't take off and go fix it as soon as the wind stops, the roads will be a fucking ice-skating rink so just like everyone else, they can't really go anywhere until state DOT/county trucks catch up and get salt/brine down or temps increase to melt it into slush. And a lot of southern counties might not keep much salt/brine on hand because most of the time they don't really need it, like Georgia, Arkansas and Alabama, I doubt they keep a lot on hand. Then once the power goes out, your house starts getting cold within 6-8 hours depending on insulation, most people in the south don't have heat tape/cable because it's unnecessary 90% of the time and even if they do, the fucking power's out - usually.

So without A) actually having heat tape and B) connecting it to your generator, you're kinda fucked, your pipes are almost guaranteed to freeze and if they stay like that very long they'll start bursting under pressure. So you not only have no tap water and can't flush your fucking toilet but when it thaws out, you might have a bunch of leaks, like massive leaks. Pipes busting is a fucking disaster in a lot of cases because people might not know until it's flooding their basement or filling up a wall cavity somewhere. Thank God my pipes have never frozen to the point they busted and usually thawed out within a couple days when my heat tape wasn't working but it's so miserable to not have any water for an extended period, one winter I had to pack a bunch of ice in a bucket and wait for it to melt so I could flush my toilet and I had grass and dead leaves in the tank lmao. You can't take a fucking shower or even a whore's bath out of the sink, usually can't cook if anything needs boiling, can't wash dishes or make coffee, etc.

People always seem to focus on food when prepping but a healthy individual can go about two weeks without ANY food - longer if you're a fat fuck [and we're on Kiwi Farms, most of us are fat fucks] but understock water, fuel, batteries, etc.

So I guess my "pro-tips" would be:

1. If you ain't got a generator or an inverter or something to provide power, try to get one. Yes, they're expensive, yes they can be a big pain in the ass at times, but it's better than freezing to death or shelling out $5000+ when your pipes are busted.

2. If you ain't got heat tape/cable, try to get some and wrap it around any exposed plumbing supply lines, either that or get some foam insulation [pool noodles cut in half actually work pretty good for this] to put around your pipes. Be careful with heat tape/cable - get the kind with a thermostat which reads the ambient temperature and kicks on only when necessary, but it can absolutely cause a fire if you're not careful. If you live in an area where the temp only drops below zero degrees Fahrenheit a few times a decade, I'd probably just disconnect it and huck it in the shed/garage until you know you're going to need it. In northern states, it's usually plugged in year-round. Generally in most cases you only have to worry about pipes freezing if it's below 20 degrees for a long period of time - especially if you have a lot of plumbing in exterior walls, or you live in a manufactured home, but most of the time it needs to be single digits or lower for 24 hours or more to really be a big risk. If you're in a manufacturer home/mobile home, pretty much ALL of your pipes are exterior pipes - running beneath the floor, so it is extremely important there to have good heat tape. Luckily, it's usually a lot easier to install due to better access. Also, turn on your sinks faucets/tub taps to a trickle when temps are this low - running water freezes much more slowly than water that's just sitting in your pipes. You don't need it on full blast, just a solid little stream, especially the sink/tub which is furthest from where the main line connects - usually a master bath upstairs or something like that.

[of course you need an accessible outlet/receptacle to plug in the heat tape which can be a fucking problem depending where the pipes are, worst case scenario use an extension cord and make sure the motherfucker doesn't get too hot, but heat tape usually doesn't draw too much current/amps.]

3. Have an alternative source of heat of some kind, electric heaters [if you have a generator, otherwise it won't do you any good] or propane/kerosene space heaters, or if you have a wood/pellet stove.

4. Have at least ten gallons of purified water kicking around, or fill up empty containers/jugs with tap water while you can, also if there's any chance the pipes might freeze - fill up your bath-tubs and sinks, maybe even your washing machine, you wouldn't want to drink any of it [since it's bath-tub/washing machine water] unless you're about to die of dehydration but you can at least use it to take a whore's bath, do dishes, flush the toilet, or I guess cook with it if you boil it first and you're not grossed out by where it came from.

[bath tubs and washing machines hold quite a bit of water - good for flushing toilets, also if you have to manually flush the toilet with outside water, pour it fast in the bowl to make it flush, don't fill the tank because it uses up/takes more water to do it.]

5. Get fuel for your generator and make sure the cocksucker works before you need it, also check your extension cords and shit and make sure if you're gonna hook up appliances [big shit like fridge/freezer, dryer/washing machine, stove/oven, etc.], that your main extension cord is rated for a shit-ton of amps, you want a thick ass cable for that or it'll get hot, melt and potentially cause a fire. Don't fuck about with extension cords, either, if they're damaged or you feel them starting to get hot, fucking replace them. People start housefires all the time during power outages because of this shit.

[also don't keep the generator running very close to your house but that's common sense, CO detectors are a good idea too if you're dealing with generators or heating with propane/kerosene.]

6. Try to have at least a week's worth of shelf-stable, easy to prepare food on hand. Rice and beans, oats, canned goods, shit like that. Stuff that doesn't require refrigeration, keeps forever and is easy to prepare - you don't want to be assembling a fucking beef wellington like you're Gordon Ramsay in this shit. Buy more water than you think you'll need. Have a stock of common batteries on hand - AAs, AAAs, 9 volts, maybe even D-cells. Lithium-ion power banks are cheap as shit now and pack quite a punch, they're worth having on hand. Try to charge all of your mission critical shit [phone, laptop, tablet, etc.] before the onset of icing/wind.

At cold enough temps natural gas lines can start to freeze up and shit too so your primary heat source might fail even, ice can also block up your furnace exhaust vent/chimney [if you have natural gas, propane, or fuel oil heating] and either prevent it from working properly, or potentially result in exhaust gases backing up into your house, another great reason to have CO detectors although most modern furnaces won't operate in this condition for that specific reason. Anyway that's my crash course for living halfway comfortably in a bad snowstorm/icestorm, been through a few of them, they still fucking suck even if you're as ready as can be but it makes it tolerable at least. It ain't like a regular storm/derecho where you can just get the hell out of Dodge for a few days if shit's fucked and get a motel room somewhere that isn't a disaster area. Plan on not fucking going anywhere for 2-3 days pretty much, maybe longer, because you very likely will NOT be able to unless you have some Mad Max mobile and tire chains. Don't assume that just because you have a 4x4 that it doesn't apply to you - I'm a county plow truck driver and after every big snow event, I'm yanking Dodge Rams and the like out of the ditch all fucking night because Cleetus wanted to make a beer run and assumed he'd be fine because he's got winter tires and 4Wd. Also make sure your car/truck's fuel tank is topped up and if you have a trickle charger, fucking use it, if all else fails you can always start it up and use your vehicle for heat/to charge your phone or other devices, in a pinch you could sleep there - but make sure your tailpipe isn't obstructed. If your fuel tank is full, if you need to, you can siphon fuel out of the car to put in the generator if it's absolutely necessary. Diesels may benefit from an oil/engine block warmer, too - so that you can actually fire up your rig. Have a good jump-starter, too - car batteries fucking hate cold weather.

And if you already have all of this stuff on deck - a generator, power banks, trickle charger for your car battery, kerosene/propane heater, etc. - take the time NOW to make sure that it's functioning properly and ready to go. Don't dick around and wait to yank the generator out of the shed when your kids' bedrooms are 40 degrees Fahrenheit and your wife's got frost in her eyebrows only to find that the cocksucker won't start or there's no oil in it. Do it now, make sure this shit is working BEFORE you need it.

If your pipes do freeze and you want to give it a shot at thawing them out - and this won't be an easy task if temps remain very low, but your best bet is a hair dryer on HIGH or a heat gun - heat gun will be the absolute best. If you know where the ice jam is [usually pipes in an exterior wall, or in some cases the exterior pipe which feeds your house] you could also try to boil some bottled water and dump it on there slowly. In any case, be careful - especially with a heat gun, it's really fucking easy to start a fire with them. You can also open the cupboard doors beneath your sinks to help circulate [relatively] warmer air around the pipes.

Anyway, good fucking luck and Godspeed, Dixiebros - shit sucks.
 
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