Sektur Size Comparison - Who are the shortest/fattest grifters in the sektur?

[Mango Cobra]

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Totally disagree.
Ralph and Tardski have stood next to each other before and look to be equal height.
I has been very autistically determined that Ralph is roughly 5'5-5'6.
The difference in height between Tardski and Salt Papi is very small.

Ralph has been known to make people crouch to make himself look taller for years now.

 

[Bartolomeow Kittensberger]

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Andy Yiffski is roughly the same height as Salt Papi, maybe slightly taller. Salt Papi is listed as being 5'6, so Yiffski must be 5'6-5'7.
We will split the difference and go with 5'6.5

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We can see Warski and Ashton in this first image from the waist up.
Measuring from the waist to the head will account for roughly 47% of a human being's height.
Ashton I believe is also 6'4, although his head is cut off in this image, so we'll have to guess slightly on his proportions in this first image.
We can use these measurements to calculate Ashton and Andy's girth from front to back in this next image:

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In this image, we can clearly see how large Ashton's and Warski's gunts are in comparison to their height.
We can figure out that the height from Warksi's waist to his head is 2ft 7.25in, which is equal to 832 pixels.
We use this information to figure out that, in this image, one foot is equal to 319.5 pixels. (height of the legs are not to scale)
Ashton's gunt is 560 pixels wide and Warski's gunt is 283 pixels wide, so:

Ashton Parks:
height = 6ft 4in
gunt = 1ft 9in

Andy Warski:
height = 5ft 6.5in
gunt = 10.6in

And since the volume of a sphere is four-thirds times pi times the radius cubed ...

Doubling the gunt radius OCTUPLES the gunt volume.

Asston is volumetrically equivalent to eight Andys.

Asston = Eight Andys

 

[Chris_Stuckmann]

I heard Ashton used to be a bouncer? Do fat people make good bouncers? I guess he's just expected to be tall and intimidating and probably didn't get into many fights. Even a manlet with a bare minimum knowledge of martial arts would beat the shit out of Ashton since he's so fat.

 

[Easterling]

I heard Ashton used to be a bouncer? Do fat people make good bouncers? I guess he's just expected to be tall and intimidating and probably didn't get into many fights. Even a manlet with a bare minimum knowledge of martial arts would beat the shit out of Ashton since he's so fat.

There is fat and there is obese like Ashton. I've met plenty of fat bouncers over the years, they generally rely on their sheer body mass to remove people, usually with the element of surprise too. 50% of a bouncer's job is to look mean and your average club goer isn't going to fuck with a bloatmaxxed dude. My guess with Ashton is he's put on significantly more weight since then. you take of 50% of his current paunch and he'd fit in with UK bouncers pretty easily

 

[Pootella]

You can't have a sektur size thread without Mantsu's catcher's mitt mogging the Memphis Micro. "No Pantsu, please no hand jobs, it makes me uncomfortable."

Spoiler: Manjob From Hell

 

[BrieLarsonFan2004]

I heard Ashton used to be a bouncer? Do fat people make good bouncers? I guess he's just expected to be tall and intimidating and probably didn't get into many fights. Even a manlet with a bare minimum knowledge of martial arts would beat the shit out of Ashton since he's so fat.

He has gained a shitload of weight very quickly, especially in the last year.
He's 6'4 and he used to work as a security guard also. Fat is good at hiding muscle, just look at Salt Papi.
I wouldn't have fucked with bouncer Asstroon at the time.

 

[GaryGray]

Ralph's height has been a really long running sore point. Think the first time Ralph ever let it slip he is bothered by his height was on a stream back during 2014-2015 where he was talking with Fuentes about something GG related (clips exists just not sure where). Eventually Ralph punches a cop and the resulting police record of the arrests lists Ralph as 5'1". By 2016 Ralph is posting video of himself next to a tape measure for proof. Just when the joke seems like it should be dead Ralph goes to get May's things from Digibro's place and gets baited by Riley into saying, "Do I look like 5'1" to you bitch?!" and the interest in his height is reignited. Even as recently as the grill stream April 2022 Ralph stood back to back with Sisco and admitted to being 5'7". Ralph's height is harder to measure than coastline.
Here is the other height thread and noted posts.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ralphs-height.87648/post-8651251 (PlasticOwl breaks down Ralph's height)
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ralphs-height.87648/post-8699728 (Altistic-Right's break down of Ralph's height)
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ralphs-height.87648/post-8759049 (RichardRApe collage of Ralph's height tweets circa 2015-2017)
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ralphs-height.87648/post-9801076 (Ralph caught trying to pass off editing pictures of his arrest record)
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ralphs-height.87648/post-9971216 (Vickers choosing to describe Ralph at 5'6" on restraining order)
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ralphs-height.87648/post-10563736 (video made by someone covering the thread)