🐱 Say hello to Trans Jesus

Say hello to Trans Jesus

Anyway, White Jesus is out. But now, thanks to a Baptist minister named Simon Woodman, we have a replacement: Trans Jesus

spectatorworld.com

It’s been said that the Christian right is more “right” than Christian. And there’s probably some truth to that. But, seriously, have you seen the Christian left?

Back in 2020, we had the saga of White Jesus. An ex-pastor named Shaun King urged Black Lives Matter activists to destroy images that made Jesus look European rather than Palestinian.

The trouble is that ancient Jews actually did look Mediterranean, because…well, they were. The big blue thing to the west of Palestine? That’s the Med.

Mr. King was probably thinking of the Arab Muslims who now live in Palestine. But they only showed up around the year 640, when the Rashidun Caliphate invaded the Levant and killed most of the Jews and Christians around Jerusalem. Awkward.

Anyway, White Jesus is out. But now, thanks to a Baptist minister named Simon Woodman, we have a replacement: Trans Jesus.

Last month, a clip of Revd Woodman speaking on a “queer theology” panel made the rounds on Catholic Twitter. After saying that “God is queer,” he claims that Jesus “transgenders himself” in the Bible.

Revd Woodman points to passages where Jesus describes Himself as a mother hen who “gathers her brood under her wings” (Matthew 23:37). He also claims that Jesus took on a “woman’s role” when he washed the Disciples’ feet (John 13). Christ “becomes the woman at that point,” says Revd Woodman.

Then comes the knockout:

He’s unmarried, he’s childless, he defies gender and sexual norms of his day, he’s known for associating with those whose own sexual history or gender identity may be ambiguous. So I think in Jesus we have a revelation of God as encompassing far more than what historically and recently at least Christians have tended to construct God as being. And I think there’s a bit of an antidote to heteronormative idolatry in the story of Jesus.

First of all, kudos to Revd Woodman for calling Jesus “a revelation of God.” By the time most Christians get into queer theology, they’ve already dropped the Trinity. No doubt Revd Woodman is considered something of a dangerous reactionary in his own circles.

Secondly, I like that phrase he used — about challenging what Christians have believed “historically and recently.” That’s a clever way of saying, “Basically I’m making all of this up.”

Many Christians took offense at Revd Woodman on Our Lord’s behalf. As well they might. Bloomsbury Baptists may think queer is a compliment, but Christians don’t. (At least not “historically and recently.”) Yet I almost feel worse for the Reverend.

The Bible is the most profound and influential book in the whole history of the world. It contains the philosophy of Jesus Christ, the most important philosopher and mystic in world history. Most of His followers, including Revd Woodman, believe that He was God incarnate. Yet even nontheists like Thomas Jefferson and Leo Tolstoy were enthralled by the life and teachings of Jesus. Billions have lived by it. Millions have died for it.

Now, imagine if all you could find in those pages was a parable for transvestic fetishism. What a boring little place your head must be.

This is what’s so sad about the Christian left — and the Christian right, for that matter. Think of all that Christianity has meant to people down through the ages. The letters of John the Beloved. The deaths at the Colosseum. The glories of Rome and Constantinople. The Confessions of Augustine. The Summa of Aquinas. The Dark Night of the Soul by John of the Cross. The music of Palestrina and Tallis. The poetry of Donne and Hopkins. The witness of Bonhoeffer. The service of Mother Teresa.

There are folks on both sides of the aisle who seem to think all of that was just a prelude to the 2020 election. The music and the martyrs are fine and all, but you know what’s really great? Guys dressing like chicks! Or dunking on Joe Biden! And, hey: did the president really poop his pants at the Vatican? The people of God deserve to know!

You can try bending the Church to your political agenda if you want. Many have before; many will again. Still, it seems like a waste of a perfectly good Church to me.

 

[deso2y]

Quick rundown on hix miracles:
- Changed water into period blood
- Healed a closing Amhole
- Raised a widow's son (as a girl)
- Fed 5,000 (underage) egg titty skittles
- Walked in his mother's heels

 

[Product Placement]

Jesus is a black baby girl and everyone knows that

 

[Blake Chortles]

Words have meaning and no one considers the christian left to be Christian. I listen to conferences on problems in the church and these people are rarely mentioned. They aren’t part of the body.

Every church, especially in America where its largely safe to be Christian, is full of goats to some extent, people who believe they are saved but they look exactly like the world. Theres no transformation in their life, they don’t look to God, basically they fail 1John in spades. But they are usually contained. Unfortunately democratic church authority structures often by default put them in charge. Its why most people no longer consider episcopalians, most lutherans, half the methodists and presbys, and more and more of the SBC (thats developing look up fbc orlando) to be Christian .

Christian left are usually actually polytheistic pagans who like their idea of Jesus over other idols like hindu or the islamic god. At best gross heretics.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Words have meaning and no one considers the christian left to be Christian. I listen to conferences on problems in the church and these people are rarely mentioned. They aren’t part of the body.

They’re usually actually polytheistic pagans who like their idea of Jesus over other idols. At best gross heretics.

You have a point. I would say there are a few genuine leftists Christians who are openly critical of the right because of politics and tend to identify as pacifists. Here it sounds like someone who uses it for attention and no serious Christian or even a historian is going to take him serious.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

Hey men, doing a thing that is usually considered "women's work", makes you a half faggot / half woman combo. Ever done the laundry? Congrats! Your trans now. Ever changed a diaper, cooked dinner, gathered food from the garden rather than hunted it? Yep -- you're definitely a troon. Just ask Jesus!

Just waiting on this guy to say that when the Bible says women should submit to their husbands, it is really talking about BDSM and the part about lusting after lovers with genitals like donkeys and "issues" like horses are really pro-furry.

 

[Blake Chortles]

You have a point. I would say there are a few genuine leftists Christians who are openly critical of the right because of politics and tend to identify as pacifists. Here it sounds like someone who uses it for attention and no serious Christian or even a historian is going to take him serious.

I think the main problem is liberal vs conservative theology. While there is a lot of overlap, its not referring to political stances. I attend a conservative church and two people in my group are pretty liberal politically, but they do genuinely show fruit and love God. The liberal conversative divide in the church is a matter if how we view Scripture and knowledge of God. Do we take it as is and try to adhere to it or is it “allegorical” and more of a guideline? Most of the heresy stems from a non biblical definition of love and interpreting away anything that doesn’t jive with 2022 secular humanism. Once you hit a certain level of liberal interpretation of the Bible you stray from the faith.

Women and gay pastors are excellent visible barometers as both have very clear and unambiguous scriptural prohibitions. Other stuff can be less clear and become a large debate. If they compromise on things like that you can know they have fallen.

 

[What the shit]

Oh boy... looks like someone is being extremely blasphemous.

 

[Positron]

Revd Woodman points to passages where Jesus describes Himself as a mother hen who “gathers her brood under her wings” (Matthew 23:37). He also claims that Jesus took on a “woman’s role” when he washed the Disciples’ feet (John 13). Christ “becomes the woman at that point,” says Revd Woodman.

Because a man cannot use feminine metaphor to describe himself. Brothers, whenever you recite Psalm 18, "He maketh my feet like hinds' feet", your become stunning and brave!

 

[Screw Danlon]

He also claims that Jesus took on a “woman’s role” when he washed the Disciples’ feet (John 13). Christ “becomes the woman at that point,” says Revd Woodman.

No, he shows humility at that point.

 

[EepEep]

"I don't understand metaphors or symbolic language, thus Jesus is trans."

What a fucking take. I'll see the good reverend in hell, I guess.

 

[EnemyStand]

Cool. Now fly to Saudi Arabia and do Mohammed, you coward.

 

[Corpun]

I'd rather attend a Megachurch than a Leftist Christians sermon. That should speak volumes about what apostasy is done in those Churches.

I look forward to Woke Preacher Clips compiling videos of woke (Mostly women and millennial men) preachers explaining how Jesus was a tranny though.

 

[Blake Chortles]

Heres a trans priest at a Lutheran church doing drag queen story time during service if you want to get upset for 4 minutes and 53 seconds. No Christian thinks these people are saved.

Lutheran Church Hosts Drag Queen Story Hour

St. Luke’s Lutheran Church of Logan Square hosted a drag queen prayer hour for children last weekend. According to the Lutheran church’s Facebook post, “Semi...

youtu.be

 

[Clockwork_PurBle]

Indeed, the big city Dem church leaders ruin everything for everybody.

Spoiler: SPOILER

Case in point: the United Methodist church is probably going to split after a vote this fall because the big city people want to have gay pastors and stuff. Typically we are more "liberal" in that we are very "come as you are" and won't look down on your for having tattoos, cracking open a cold one on the weekend, remarrying, etc. like a lot of Baptists but gay tranny pastors are where a lot of people are drawing a line. The woke Methodists have called their group the "Liberation Methodist Connexion." It even sounds postmodern and cringe. My pastor says that if the church does vote to split, each individual church will vote with who they want to go with. Good thing we live in a mostly free nation and are allowed to split groups as we please and aren't forced to have just one church.

Gaybros...normally I don't care about you but this stuff has gone way too far and I will be voting to stay with the "trad" church if it comes to that.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Who's the Kiwi with the "Trans Jesus died for your eyebrows" avatar?

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

thanks to a Baptist minister named Simon Woodman

Weird. I thought Baptists were more based than this. Normally when I hear about a church doing something like this it's usually an Episcopalian church with 5 parishioners and a boomer priestess who puts a rainbow flag on the altar.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

I once visited a straight up fire and brimstone southern chuch (forget the denomination), and sometimes I think it'd be really fun to see that pastor (or whatever his title was) have a talk with these people.

 

[Blewberry Nausea]

Jesus was a fag and the apostles were his gay fuck harem and I’m tired of pretending they weren’t. Utilitarians for life!

 

[Over Granfalloons]

Willful obtuseness and blasphemy aside, I'll say that the article made a great point —Christianity shouldn't be treated as a tool to score points on an ideological war. To add modern ideology onto the text as a gotcha for a political argument is to show how shallow and deplete of sincerity and spirituality those so called modern "Christians" are.

On this note...

"For the time will come when they will not endure the sound doctrine; but, having itching ears, will heap to themselves teachers after their own lusts;" (2 Timothy 4:3)