Resident Evil - Virgin Vampire Wine Mom vs Chad Magnetic Lebowski

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I just finished Cabin on Pro. I feel like the game will get off my back once I get to the Castle. But the Bella Sisters and Mendez I'm going to have to go through with no saves in between.
 
I can't tell what's the worst part of this
1: This IRL version of Kotaku is dilating about something which is optional & not even affecting him.
2: He conveniently forgets the nude Leon mods exist, alongside Tramp Stamp Leon, Banana Hammock Leon, Thong Leon, Nude Luis, & way more.
3: Ashley's breathes like an asthmatic pug, her panting is bugged from what I've seen, so she does it all the time.
4: He's a fucking hypocrite who simps on Lady Dimitrescu so hard that he almost borders on trannydom.
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Can't find this one so no archives, but it proves he's been simping since day 1 of her reveal.

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Warning: Borderline Troondom & Drag incoming.

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"Lady Dimitrescu Simping" = the only Reddit-approved form of heterosexual expression allowed. You're only allowed to think muscle women built like Frigidaires or 8-foot tall vampire chick characters are attractive, and make with the TALL VAMPIRE MOMMY PLEASE STEP ON ME AN CRUSH MY SKELETON sort of posts.
 
"Lady Dimitrescu Simping" = the only Reddit-approved form of heterosexual expression allowed. You're only allowed to think muscle women built like Frigidaires or 8-foot tall vampire chick characters are attractive, and make with the TALL VAMPIRE MOMMY PLEASE STEP ON ME AN CRUSH MY SKELETON sort of posts.
Basically you can say sexual shit about a woman who dominates a man, but if the woman is acting like a woman, then it’s bad to sexualize her.
 
Does RE5 still hold up today or is it going to be janky af?
Playing it rn actually. It's fine, it does feel worse than original RE4, Chris is clunkier than Leon and it's full of that era coop shit like having to srand awkwardly in front of a door until Sheva lumbers over. But it's fun. Mercenaries is great.
 
A tip for anyone doing the S+ Pro run.

Use the Sentinel Nine over any other pistol. You get nearly 20 shots as it's base which you would never need to upgrade. It's just a better SG-09. For anyone that doesn't know, the S9 is his pistol in that Vendetta movie. I guess it's the successor to the Silver Ghost. You should also sell the lever shotgun immediately since the riot shotgun is infinitely better.

I'm currently pulling my hair out since I was just about to beat Mendez and I missed the gas tank shot. I'm trying to go from right before the Bella sisters to right before Water Hall without saving. I don't know how people are doing this without saves.
 
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A tip for anyone doing the S+ Pro run.

Use the Sentinel Nine over any other pistol. You get nearly 20 shots as it's base which you would never need to upgrade. It's just a better SG-09. For anyone that doesn't know, the S9 is his pistol in that Vendetta movie. I guess it's the successor to the Silver Ghost.

I'm currently pulling my hair out since I was just about to beat Mendez and I missed the gas tank shot. I'm trying to go from right before the Bella sisters to right before Water Hall without saving. I don't know how people are doing this without saves.
You're way ahead of me, I'm trying to do a "normal" run without the pre order guns but goddamn I can't seem to resist the village horde consistently. I think this is the first time during my time with the remake were I'm seeing a few cracks in the facade, the originals professional difficulty was though but fair, with this I feel there's a lot of moments were I go "Ok that was bullshit". I can't imagine going through the sisters and then Mendez in one sitting goddamn.

One thing I can say is that if you're playing on keyboard, don't hold shift to run, just tap it once and let Leon run, its easier to press E and duck if you're going to get grabbed, when you're not pressing shift to run which I think its where 90% of the damage I'm getting, is someone grabbing me and having to use the knife or getting hit hard if I can't get loose quickly.
 
You're way ahead of me, I'm trying to do a "normal" run without the pre order guns but goddamn I can't seem to resist the village horde consistently. I think this is the first time during my time with the remake were I'm seeing a few cracks in the facade, the originals professional difficulty was though but fair, with this I feel there's a lot of moments were I go "Ok that was bullshit". I can't imagine going through the sisters and then Mendez in one sitting goddamn.

One thing I can say is that if you're playing on keyboard, don't hold shift to run, just tap it once and let Leon run, its easier to press E and duck if you're going to get grabbed, when you're not pressing shift to run which I think its where 90% of the damage I'm getting, is someone grabbing me and having to use the knife or getting hit hard if I can't get loose quickly.
With how bullshit the game mechanics are and for whatever reason, lack of the game fucking responding to inputs, I don't give a shit anymore that I'm using special guns. It's not a contest. I just want to get this over and done with and get the bonus weapons. This is almost meme level difficult like RE5 on pro.

And yeah. The Village on pro is literally fucking insane. My advice is to just run around for five minutes and try to not interact with any of them. Don't even attempt trying to drop Salvador for his treasure, he's not worth it. He only responds to perfect shotgun headshots. I think I restarted that 50 times last night.

When you get to Del Lago. You're either going to breeze him. Or you're going to get stuck in a quagmire like I ended up doing where RNG kept making me hit shit in the lake. I ended up seeing a one hit kill animation I haven't before, where he tries to bite the boat and you need to mash out of it. I beat him clean the first time but realized loading from the continue screen still keeps your playtime of your death playtime so always reload from the main menu. So fucking idiotic. When I tried Del Lago ago, I got stuck on him for hours.

El Gigante isn't as bad. Pop him three times in the face with the shotgun and his parasite comes out. Flash over his head and he drops and shotgun him again. Repeat until the dog shows up.

Mendez is a bit tricky, more his first stage. His second stage only has like three attack patterns and he telegraphs them very obviously. If you don't shoot the gas tanks immediately, I swear the game locks you out of hitting them once a specific time frame is reached. I've seen it happen to other people playing it.

Required viewing to make S+ easier.


You can cut a lot of bullshit out of the tower wall chapter. I'm still under 2 hours and I'm chapter 6. They're not even glitches in most cases and trim off in some cases ten minutes of grief. And they're not even glitches. Like shooting the counterweights early from inside a locked gate.

Oh, did you know golden eggs can kill Salazar? You can get one from his throne room and it does 70% damage. At the very beginning of the fight, hit him in the head with it and he's stunned and then you can just whack him with the magnum and be done in all of ten seconds.

 
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You know I'm this close to saying fuck it and use the pre order pistol and the terminator 2 shotgun, especially the shotgun, I've read its not really good but goddamn does it look badass. I mean, I'm already getting those extra treasures so I'm not really doing a bare bones run. I've been trying to use a strategy from a RE speedrunner called bawkbasoup or something, where you get the shotgun, comes out of the window to the left, and then you just have to try to unload the entire shotgun on chainsaw guy, throw a grenade, a flash grenade to knife him and pray that you can finish him off with the pistol, then just kick out the ladders from that rooftoop and the one they use to get inside the house and try to survive until the end.

The problem is that so much shit can go wrong, you could miss a shot, 3 or 4 ganados can come out the window before the chainsaw guy so you have to waste shotgun shells on them, the shotgun shots not even stunning chainsaw, etc. I'm gonna try a few times to get it consistently but if I can't I'm just gonna use the preorder guns, who really cares if I do I'm really not having all that much fun with professional. I have this weird rule that I think the hardest difficulty in a game should be the most enjoyable because its supposed to test all of your knowledge of the game and IMO that's 100% true with the original 4, RE1R and RE2R but absolutely not RE3R, 5 and now it seems RE4R (Who knows maybe I just suck).

Also that golden egg strat looks good, would have never figured it out, its easy enough to get that you need to throw the egg at his portrait for the sidequest but I would never have thought in a million years to use the golden egg on him, that probably saves you so much grief.
 
"Lady Dimitrescu Simping" = the only Reddit-approved form of heterosexual expression allowed. You're only allowed to think muscle women built like Frigidaires or 8-foot tall vampire chick characters are attractive, and make with the TALL VAMPIRE MOMMY PLEASE STEP ON ME AN CRUSH MY SKELETON sort of posts.
Thing is, Lady Dimitrescu is attractive. Issue is, the fanboys are too simpy for their own good.
Basically you can say sexual shit about a woman who dominates a man, but if the woman is acting like a woman, then it’s bad to sexualize her.
These fucking soyboys have ruined liking girls at this point. I can't go thinking "tall women are nice, fit women are great, fit, tall women who are borderline Amazonians are the best" without thinking "I'll probably be considered some submissive redditor for liking this" anymore.

I can't believe liking a type of women is now Reddit, just because some literal, unironic, beta cuck thinks that an "acceptable" attraction to anything that subverts what is seen as "typical beauty standards".

Its why these fags that cry & piss & shit their pants over anime girls, but have no issue with muscle girls. Only type of lust they're allowed to express is simping. What's worse isn't that these bunch of vegans in their 30s with hormonal problems want to normalize uggos (impossible) by shoving them in everything & waging war on femininity. Probably something to do with "capitalist brainwashing" because they're all a bunch of subversive commies.

What is actually worse is that they probably don't appreciate an intensely toned but still feminine body. They'll fetishize the strength or muscles but not the dedication needed to reach those results.

Here's Yukina from Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress:
 
Oh, did you know golden eggs can kill Salazar? You can get one from his throne room and it does 70% damage. At the very beginning of the fight, hit him in the head with it and he's stunned and then you can just whack him with the magnum and be done in all of ten seconds.
"HEY! That's my job!"
- Rotten egg from RE5

El Gigante isn't as bad. Pop him three times in the face with the shotgun and his parasite comes out. Flash over his head and he drops and shotgun him again. Repeat until the dog shows up.
I wonder if it works too on 2005 RE4, especially the Golden Egg strat...
 
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You know I'm this close to saying fuck it and use the pre order pistol and the terminator 2 shotgun, especially the shotgun, I've read its not really good but goddamn does it look badass. I mean, I'm already getting those extra treasures so I'm not really doing a bare bones run. I've been trying to use a strategy from a RE speedrunner called bawkbasoup or something, where you get the shotgun, comes out of the window to the left, and then you just have to try to unload the entire shotgun on chainsaw guy, throw a grenade, a flash grenade to knife him and pray that you can finish him off with the pistol, then just kick out the ladders from that rooftoop and the one they use to get inside the house and try to survive until the end.

The problem is that so much shit can go wrong, you could miss a shot, 3 or 4 ganados can come out the window before the chainsaw guy so you have to waste shotgun shells on them, the shotgun shots not even stunning chainsaw, etc. I'm gonna try a few times to get it consistently but if I can't I'm just gonna use the preorder guns, who really cares if I do I'm really not having all that much fun with professional. I have this weird rule that I think the hardest difficulty in a game should be the most enjoyable because its supposed to test all of your knowledge of the game and IMO that's 100% true with the original 4, RE1R and RE2R but absolutely not RE3R, 5 and now it seems RE4R (Who knows maybe I just suck).

Also that golden egg strat looks good, would have never figured it out, its easy enough to get that you need to throw the egg at his portrait for the sidequest but I would never have thought in a million years to use the golden egg on him, that probably saves you so much grief.
I was using Bawkbasoup's strats but his village thing I cannot recreate. Just run around and ignore them as much as you can. Keep doing laps. Go up ladders to break their chase for a moment. Run behind the little building on the southeast end and run to that elevated path and jump the fence back to the entrance. Stuff like that. Salvador will enter the village at the two minute mark. I tried hiding in the tower but even Salvador climbs the ladder and you cannot knock him off it.

I've been using some of this guy's strats and rotating back and forth on what I can make work with his and Bawk's.


For most of the village I had a minimum of 100 pistol rounds on me and I had upwards of 150 at one point before cabin. It's basically just to stun Ganado to run by although some need to be dropped.

You can use the lever gun for the village section but switch to the regular and sell it since it takes way too much to make it formidable.
 
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STEROIDS ARE SO FUCKING BACK, BABY! 💪

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Look at him glare down at the inferior natty Leon!
 
I don't understand why people bitched about her AI. I never had a single issue with her. Oh she fired an RPG? Why the fuck did you give it to her anyway?
I think it had to do with the bridge crossing part.
 
15 saves for S+ is too little. Needs to be 20. I prematurely saved right before Water Hall so that's two saves in one chapter. I gotta get into nine now without saving.

Garrador is a bitch, but I ended up selling the TMP and buying the magnum. He goes down in 4 hits. I did try Water Hall one time before my current save and it's not terrible. But there is a never ending supply of zealots it seems like. Whenever I get to Saddler, I'm just going to flip expensive shit and kill him with the RPG.
 
Playable Luis this Friday, pretty cool. Only took them 18 years! I wonder if he's gonna get his own melee. I wonder if that'll get patched into the main game or we're gonna have another Josh Stone situation. A co-op mode or DLC would be pretty cool at this point. Luis has great "Player 2" energy as it is and it feels a little bit like a wasted opportunity. Then again, Co-op would kill any horror.

I find the tone inconsistent with gameplay quipping Leon and edgy boy cutscene Leon somehow being the same person, but all in all it's a pretty damn good game, once you get past the two or three hitches at the start, and if you're not a turboautismo who NEEDS to do things CLEAN AND PROPERLY and therefore restarts a million times until those two motherfucking starting Salvadors are fucking properly dead... And you feel like using the S9 is cheating... All in all, casuals might enjoy it more. But it's absolutely a very good experience, the writing is a little soulless and didn't have the balls to go full camp like the OG, but if you mostly ignore the story, what little there is of it, the gameplay's pretty good.

As for the writing, a lot of "attention to detail" moments and fixing old mistakes. Ashley's now actively fighting the mind control and limpwrists a shot so she gets a stovepipe, Leon speaks and understands basic Spanish, Luis has a better dynamic with Leon, a better backstory, Leon's not an immediately trusting idiot and Luis is a little more shady in his dealings, asides from the currentyearisms and forced pozzed bullshit, the writing is, at worst, quite serviceable. Krauser is a bit of a cringelord but I suppose it's a matter of him being far campier and worse in a far more serious setting. Dude's a vile kitten-eating madman. There's nothing as good as "Your right hand comes off?" but there's nothing that'll make you roll your eyes either. The worst thing you could say is Leon got sent in with a basic police patrol, and Hunnigan and himself never really consider to order backup. Yeah, Mike the chopper guy's still in, but sending one boy band haired operative and one helicopter vs one army of the mind-controlled undead seems a little stingy on the side of the almighty US government.

I can confirm the S9 is super good. It's just so solid, all around. The Silver Ghost has been massacred. I always thought the MUP was the shittiest pistol in Re2make and fuck my life, it's the most reused pistol. Hunk was the first to use it, Jill had one, it was the main gun in Resistance, now Leon's SG is based off of it. The SG is just a fuckup waiting to happen; You have zero room for error. I believe it's meant to be a high damage, long distance pistol, like a baby Red9, but it's incredibly outclassed by the Red9, which to boot is free here. The Crit upgrade is still there, it seems to not affect the knife any more, and the Sentinel also has that upgrade. The two main weaknesses are the sluggish as hell fire rate and the diminutive clip size, which means the SECOND you fuck up even once, which with the more mobile enemies is a thing that can happen easily, you're gonna be stuck in a ten years long reload animation and catch a chainsaw shave if you're unlucky.

I assume the SG gets better once you slap the laser and the crit upgrade on it, and it'll be close to it's original role of being the gun that excels at taking out the trash mobs, with a slight edge against bosses now since it's the second highest damage gun in the game, but the road to get there is too hard to endure when the very serviceable Punisher and much stronger Red9 exist. I don't know anyone who has the S9 and is doing harder runs who didn't end up using it, it's just such an upgrade to the SG.
 
I assume the SG gets better once you slap the laser and the crit upgrade on it
Upgrading it's fire rate with it's big ass mag makes it good for medium crowd control. I wish I was using it from the beginning of my run. I also switched the attache case to the gunpowder version since shotgun ammo is so fucking rare in this game for some reason.

I'm late to the party on this one but the rifles are only good on weakspots. Like when you fight Mendez. Don't bother stabbing his eyeball. Shoot it with the rifle and you'll trim minutes off the fight.
 
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So apparently Lily Gao, Nu-Ada's VA‌, has been "harassed" off Instagram.

An example of said harassment.
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Read her last deleted post which is just "privilege" & "wypipo bad".

Mind you, people on Twitter have defended her shit acting by saying "if you don't like it, you're an incel" & now they have more fuel.
 
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So apparently Lily Gao, Nu-Ada's VA‌, has been "harassed" off Instagram.

An example of said harassment.
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Mind you, people on Twitter have defended her shit acting by saying "if you don't like it, you're an incel" & now they have more fuel.
She can rest assured knowing she was not the only poor performance in that game.
 
i find speedrunning to be a very joyless thing these days but that scope glitch people are using is such bullshit that it makes watching any runs eye-rollingly bad. that's okay, but using charms is banned. lol. elden ring speedruns were made completely gay by everyone doing some kind of zip warping with a shield and beating the game in 5 minutes or less. what i mean by the 'scope glitch' is, in the video Wesker linked (12 skips to know), he uses it only once during the chapter 5 skip to avoid having Ashley follow. this can be used to bypass basically every locked door in the game, including the one before the whole wrecking ball sequence, as well as the insta-death turrets on the island.
 
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