I don't think having mental health issues is bullshit, or being disabled, or even non-binary/trans. I'm boring-ly progressive.
But I don't think these people are actually any/all of these things. It feels like theatre, and I have been trying to figure out
why. Why are suddenly what feels like dozens of people in my community transitioning from being women to non-binary? Why are so many coming out as disabled, specifically the kind of disabilities that are... controversial, eg fibromyalgia, undiagnosed celiac/crohns or just wheat intolerance? The mental health issues... it's like everyone is depressed, with bipolar disorder, severe anxiety, with childhood traumas out the whazoo.
Every interaction they have with other human beings that don't go
exactly the way they want to are parsed as abuse, more trauma and an invalidation of their identities. I have somehow avoided being in the crosshairs, probably because I am a minority myself and generally... just don't get in the middle of things but I can't imagine my luck will keep forever.
Their political ideologies... I never thought I'd hear people defending the political regime of North Korea, but here we are, where communism and marxism isn't just discussed and considered, but
literally fetishized. Yes I mean literally, yes like with sex.
And this is all broadcasted so openly, and not just broadcasted, I feel like so many people are intentionally out seeking conflict and confrontation, and when they don't find it they manufacture it. They are constantly in the middle of a fight with SOMEONE.
This description is not of one particular person, and I can't think of any one person who fits it all (okay maybe a small handful) but it's not just that it annoys me, it's that I think it's breeding profoundly bad habits. They can't take care of themselves, they are CONSTANTLY talking about suicidal ideation, about how the world is going to shit, about how every fucking small problem is world ending to them. When they are in a bad-place they talk NON STOP about how they are trash human beings that no one wants to be around and I am increasingly agreeing with them!
I came into a few communities over the last few years that are non-traditional, and I expected to be met with a lot of ideologies and positions that I wouldn't understand and was open and hoping to learn and grow from these experiences. I've met a lot of wonderful, mature people in these communities, it's been great in a lot of ways. But holy shit... holy shit have I met a lot of children in adult bodies. And in my ignorance, I have seen people calling out for help and thought "I need to talk to this person and make them feel better" - like a goddamn idiot. They don't want to feel better, they want to live in a world where they are perpetually in the centre, where they throw tantrums and get what they want and they can constantly expect everyone else to behave in ways that they themselves are entirely incapable of. They are children, except they are often in their mid twenties or even older.
A lot of these communities are sexual in nature, and I have learned very quickly that it's important to often AVOID people like this, but I can't help but now associate this avoidance with anyone who presents as trans/nb/mentally-unwell/marxist etc. Fuck even people calling themselves geeks/nerds has got me hesitating and taking a few steps away, and I never thought in my goddamn life that would EVER make me balk.
What the hell is happening. Has it always been like this on the fringes, and am I only just now seeing it? I don't want anyone to kill themselves, but I am tired of being emotionally manipulated by people threatening suicide, or people crying about their misery, while they behave and act in a way that only highlights to me their absolute immaturity and their lack of desire to ACTUALLY change and grow. Like... be trans if you want to, talk about your mental illness and own it, but it really doesn't feel like it's ABOUT those things when every day you post on Facebook some inane meme about being trans/disabled/mentally unwell and captioning it "IT ME".
Like... fuck off. And then get some serious professional help, and TRY to get better.
Edit:
Woah so much discussion, I appreciate it and it's really interesting to hear all the thoughtful posts, agreeing and disagreeing with me. I have not checked my dms yet... I'll get to that later.
Shout out to
u/Vito_The_Magnificent for the really great post that I'm still chewing over, without agreeing or disagreeing, just really appreciate the thoughtfulness you put into it.
Some clarifying points:
- I think people are and can be trans. Heck I think people can identify as non-binary. I in fact volunteer in an environment where I often work with people who are trans and non binary, and they are wonderful people who are almost always deserving of support. I try to assume that people are being sincere and honest when they claim that they would be more comfortable as another gender, but one of the most recent trends I've noticed are people who transition from being women to non-binary. They do this and they still... sort of dip into both wells. When it's convenient, they talk about their oppression faced as a woman/femme person, and how women/femmes are the best. Then they'll talk about how they are trans and just because they still identify as femme doesn't mean they are not trans, and bemoan the struggles of trans people and how hard it is being trans - without you know... in any way living the life of transitioning short of changing their pronouns. There are varying degrees of this I've seen but this particular example I've recently seen more than once and it's kind of annoying me for a variety of reasons I can't quite pin down.
- I think celiac and chrons are real diseases, I intimately know people who have these conditions, one who recently had nearly a foot of intestine removed. I know they are real, and I do not believe - for example - the person I know who 'cheats' every once in a while by taking homeopathic gluten intolerance pills before diving into some fettuccini is actually a celiac like they say they are, even though their western medicine doctor disagrees. Yes I know that is an extreme example, and there are less extreme examples of this I can think of, but this in particular I hope gets my point across.
- I absolutely think people do have conditions like depression, severe anxiety, bpd, etc. Mental health issues are well... real issues. I met someone who shakes when they get into elevators, I don't think they are lying when they say they are anxious, and additionally, they don't ever use it for like... brownie points. I also know people who are just shitty at making decisions or doing hard and important things, ie - paying their rent on time, and instead bemoan their shitty lot in life because they have to self medicate with weed because of conditions x y z - I tried to help someone like this. By you know, helping them with their finances, either by giving them small loans, or helping them with budgeting, talking them through their problems and making an itemized list of things to do to work through them - they instead started to get mad at me when I just wouldn't make it all go away by just giving them x amount of money. Again, extreme example, but hopefully this clarifies my point about people who reach out looking for help but don't want real help.
