Sorry in advance for the long post, this is partially a vent. Title explains it all so feel free to skip the rest of the post.
I'm slowly coming into my NB identity and have been revealing/expressing that to my friends at a snail's pace. Everyone that knows has been supportive, I'm in a pretty safe area, and I'm able to start on hormones, but I'm nervous to present androgynously or feminine because of my roommate.
For context, I live in a tiny student apartment. I say "roommate" for convenience but technically we have our own rooms and share the space between them with the kitchen and bathroom. I'll move out next fall but probably can't move elsewhere until then. I have never presented as anything other than straight and masculine around this guy and as far as I know he has never seen my makeup supplies or social media accounts.
He (who I'm gonna call Paul here) doesn't have any other friends except me. I helped him with math homework occasionally, and try to be as friendly as possible. He used to be convinced he was a genius but after he failed out of school last year he now spends most of his time watching Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson videos in his room. He stays out of my room but likes to follow me when I'm in shared spaces or sometimes when I walk into town. Since I like to cook, he knows that if I'm in the kitchen that I'm a captive audience for an hour or so.
Paul started off just being antisocial and kinda scared of girls, being convinced everyone he meets hates him and mocked him behind his back, etc., but then shit hit the fan when he had a bad experience with a girl in his class - she liked him and would follow him around campus and invite him to parties, he thought she just wanted to taunt him since she had a few close male friends so he would unsuccessfully try to get her to stop.
She moved away after a few weeks, but after that, Paul went full incel. He once asked for help with math but stopped to explain why he thought Elliot Rodger (the misogynistic mass murderer and incel hero who, I should add, started his killing spree by killing his roommates) was attractive; I got uncomfortable and made up an excuse to leave. Later Paul would talk about how he thought that girl in his class was a witch who cursed him, and how he would beat up her friends if he ever saw them, lot of weird empty threats against people who barely talked to him and were always nice.
He started idolizing edgy fictional characters and would tell me stories about how he scared various threatening people off with a cool one liner, or how he beat them in a fight. Sometimes it would be a hypothetical, he'd have me watch his best cold glare and tell me about the threat he would give when he next saw whoever he felt wronged him most recently. He liked to talk about how he was supposedly close to some breaking point where he would turn evil and go on some nondescript TV-villain rampage, and how if that ever happened that I had to kill him with his kitchen knife while he sleeps.
It was about this time he got this weird obsession with a particular professor. The professor was kind of a dick so Paul would tell me all these weird jokes and revenge fantasies about him. Diddy was in the news so he kept telling me that the professor and Diddy molested him on Epstein island, or that he was going to go in the elevator with the professor and act like the professor groped him, or that he recognized the professor from when they were at Diddy's parties together - just a lot of weird "jokes" about the guy either being a pedophile or being potentially framed for molesting Paul.
At the same time, he got on this weird anti-femboy bent where he would constantly ask me if I thought he looked too much like a femboy, and how he needed to avoid looking like a femboy because they're "weak" and spend all day on Tumblr (?). He eventually cut his hair because he said it made him look too much like a femboy. At some point, this morphed into a recurring "joke": he would show me his Instagram feed and say that he needs to unfollow people because they're making his feed fill up with femboys. Then he would show me a picture and say "rate her!" I'd tell him I don't rate women, he'd eventually fold and ask if they were pretty and when I said yes he'd burst into laughter and say "that is actually a male!" before showing me a bunch of their pictures.
Skip ahead six months or so to present day, I just got back from visiting my parents and now Paul has an obsession with femboys. He shows me that his social media feeds are entirely femboy pinups and shitty Astolfo memes from like 2018, his desktop background is a rotating femboy slideshow, he follows like a hundred different femboy cosplayers and he has a folder on his PC he calls his prized possession that's full of AI-generated pictures of Astolfo that he generates himself with ChatGPT. He holds the same weird incel views about women in general but he now watches hours of youtube manosphere content (mostly Andrew Tate) per day and he's WAY creepier about femboys and trans women specifically. He's told me some weird fantasies including how he thinks everyone should have a femboy to keep in their home as a pet, or he'll show me pictures of people he wants to "hold for comfort" and keeps trying to get me (once again, I'm decidedly masculine) to touch his muscles or try to lift or punch him. I always refuse because even brushing against his arm makes my skin crawl.
I'm finally at a point where I want to change my appearance to match my identity, I want to start on E and wear my makeup more often, but I'm legitimately concerned I'll be harassed or assaulted. I'm not sure what to do. He hasn't made any threats towards me or anything and being generally creepy isn't something I can complain to the cops
Should I just delay/forget about HRT until next fall? Is it possible to do it and just boymode at home? Would the effects of HRT be noticeable over a year if he never saw me dress differently or wear any makeup, and if not how could I hide it? Any advice is appreciated.