Red Letter Media

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Favorite recurring character? (Select 4)

  • Jack / AIDSMobdy

    Votes: 257 24.0%
  • Josh / the Wizard

    Votes: 77 7.2%
  • Colin (Canadian #1)

    Votes: 460 42.9%
  • Jim (Canadian #2)

    Votes: 230 21.4%
  • Tim

    Votes: 386 36.0%
  • Len Kabasinski

    Votes: 208 19.4%
  • Freddie Williams

    Votes: 274 25.5%
  • Patton Oswalt

    Votes: 27 2.5%
  • Macaulay Culkin

    Votes: 541 50.4%
  • Max Landis

    Votes: 64 6.0%

  • Total voters
    1,073
Wait, where did you hear all of this because I'm dying to know more.



Well I'm totally stealing that next time I go cruising for floozies.

Oh, Lord, it's been floating around the net since at least the 90s. Geeks used to email it back and forth to each other. I'll see what I can dig up, but this is a good starting point:


EDIT: Some more fragments. The script seems to be out there, but only on various membership sites. Marquette University supposedly has the whole thing in their Tolkien archive.


 
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I think the main issue with the Universal Monsters is the same thing that made them go out of style in the mid-20th century: Mankind outpaced their horror with its own. World War 2 and Nuclear Weapons showed that mankind could be as bad as any monster. Then you have a lack of religiousity and the rise of Cosmic Horror which made creatures who feared silver bullets and crosses seem trite. Aliens seemed a lot more realistic than vampires- after all, there was a real chance that they could exist and odds were good that they would be as warlike and violent as humans. Gothic, Victorian style monsters were seen as a throwback as early as the 1950s. Hammer Films only managed to modernize them by throwing in blood and cleavage, then sex and gore, until even their stuff seemed tame and overused. Nowadays, you can make a vampire film, but you have to fit it within current genres - making it a harlequin romance, filling it with wokeness and politics, or subverting it by making Dracula an antihero who's trying to free humankind from the shackles of an oppressive killjoy God because Hollywood isn't even trying to hide its Luciferianism anymore.
I think your assesment is correct, why would a guy in a werewolf mask be scary when a single bomb can kill thousands of people? But I think they can work if the keep it in a low scale, I mean, the scariest thing about a wolf man story, at the end, is the fact that it reminds us that we are animals, and can snap at anymoment. I mean, a single werewolf threatening a family is far scarier than a million werewolfs vs the army. The mummy can be reworked as a our fears of discovering a mystery from the past we cant solve with our modern technology. They could make these stories work, but they would have to look behind the superficial crap.
 
Is there one that hasn't been Ruined in the name of "Pop Nerd Lyfestyle!"?
The name of the place was Babylon 5
Sliders was the first show I remember thinking that the writers obviously hated the fans, deliberately killing off and raping characters whose actors that had crossed them in some way. The series finale even had a "Sliders TV Show" complete with shitty obsessive fans.

Sliders died with the Professor.
 
I think the main issue with the Universal Monsters is the same thing that made them go out of style in the mid-20th century: Mankind outpaced their horror with its own. World War 2 and Nuclear Weapons showed that mankind could be as bad as any monster. Then you have a lack of religiousity and the rise of Cosmic Horror which made creatures who feared silver bullets and crosses seem trite. Aliens seemed a lot more realistic than vampires- after all, there was a real chance that they could exist and odds were good that they would be as warlike and violent as humans. Gothic, Victorian style monsters were seen as a throwback as early as the 1950s. Hammer Films only managed to modernize them by throwing in blood and cleavage, then sex and gore, until even their stuff seemed tame and overused. Nowadays, you can make a vampire film, but you have to fit it within current genres - making it a harlequin romance, filling it with wokeness and politics, or subverting it by making Dracula an antihero who's trying to free humankind from the shackles of an oppressive killjoy God because Hollywood isn't even trying to hide its Luciferianism anymore.
I don't think so. Horror is more about emphasizing with the characters and their situations, it doesn't really matter what the scale of the threat is or how much it is likely. The problem is that the horror genre itself is relatively niche due to audience would rather have their roller coaster rides than feel scared. So a Universal Monsters based on horror is contradictory of the whole point of massive franchise appeal.
It doesn't help that upping the production values usually actively hurts the ability of the audience to emphasize due to the knowledge of what's happening being fake.
 
Scooby Doo was all about man being the real monster.

Sometimes it was a robot but that robot was controlled by a man!

You know what I want a Re:View of? The entire series of Police Academy movies. That's a franchise that has successfully stayed dead. That even had a cartoon and a line of toys to go with it.
 
Scooby Doo was all about man being the real monster.

Sometimes it was a robot but that robot was controlled by a man!

You know what I want a Re:View of? The entire series of Police Academy movies. That's a franchise that has successfully stayed dead. That even had a cartoon and a line of toys to go with it.

Sometimes dead is better.
 
There's absolutely erotic themes in Dracula, and him turning Lucy into a vampire is very much a seduction. But I'd agree that actual sex and an actual relationship isn't very Dracula. He sees humans as pawns (and food) to use and then discard when their usefulness runs out. It's only when Van Helsing & Co. piss him off that he actually gives a shit about them (though he does have a sadistic streak before that).

I actually liked the BBC/Netflix adaptation until they pulled that relationship shit in the final episode.
There's always the trope of Dracula seeing a modern woman who magically resembles his true love from time past. Though why he can't just say "hmm, she kind of looks like Beth", then drain her and snap her neck always confused me.
 
You know what I want a Re:View of? The entire series of Police Academy movies. That's a franchise that has successfully stayed dead. That even had a cartoon and a line of toys to go with it.

I unironically liked them when I was a little kid, and a few weeks ago I watched the first 3 movies back to back: they have cringe moments, but some of them still hold up well. I still got a kick out of them. Mind you, this is at least the first 3: I don't remember much of 4-7.
 
You know what I want a Re:View of? The entire series of Police Academy movies. That's a franchise that has successfully stayed dead. That even had a cartoon and a line of toys to go with it.

At least the trailers were funny. Of course, the trailers had the only funny moments from the film, but at least they did that better than Ghostbusters 2016.
 
At least the trailers were funny. Of course, the trailers had the only funny moments from the film, but at least they did that better than Ghostbusters 2016.

This right here is the funniest thing to come out of Ghostbusters 2016. Late as fuck, but I only saw it this morning, and I'm still recovering from it.

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This right here is the funniest thing to come out of Ghostbusters 2016. Late as fuck, but I only saw it this morning, and I'm still recovering from it.

View attachment 1261964
It still mystifies me that the pic where the infirm child's soul was obviously in the middle of escaping his body was approved for public release. That either means Sony hired someone incompetent (hardly surprising) or all the other photos were worse.
 
The name of the place was Babylon 5

Sliders was the first show I remember thinking that the writers obviously hated the fans, deliberately killing off and raping characters whose actors that had crossed them in some way. The series finale even had a "Sliders TV Show" complete with shitty obsessive fans.

Sliders died with the Professor.
You can blame FOX for this. The cast and crew were NOT happy about what happened to Arturo.

he wasn't even the real arturo
 
You can blame FOX for this. The cast and crew were NOT happy about what happened to Arturo.

he wasn't even the real arturo
My head canon is that Arturo built a new slider device and is still searching for the gang. I seem to remember rumblings of it being brought back. Actaully John Rhys Davies and that other protagonist have been talking to NBC about rebooting it.
 
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