Reality Show Lolcows

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Hummingbird

Hummingbird

My avatar is problematic.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 12, 2014
I was inspired by the Mystic Mike thread (which reminded me how reality TV is full of Lolcows.) So I thought I'd put up a thread dedicated to them all that we can share.

There's some obvious ones like Amy's Bakery (Kitchen Nightmares), O Face (Bar Rescue), the gay guy and Kyle (season 4 of Ink Master) and that obese, screaming fundy from Wife Swap. Here's some others...

Mr. Special (America's Got Talent)

Aaneya Maria (also AGT)
 
Y'know, there's a bunch reality show lolcows I am really fond of: The cast for any Real Housewives show. I'm not sure if there is a smart cookie and voice of reason in the cast, but most of them are spoiled, whiny, arrogant, overreacting and unnecessarily violent. It's hilarious and sad seeing rich women slap each other over something stupid.
 
What makes reality TV lolcows disappointing is that unless it's a long running series they rarely have longevity. Even then they can move into legit acting (Jamie Chung) or at least learn not to be a PR fuck up (see Snooki). They may overreact and do stupid shit but they can't compare to actual lolcows.
 
Yaoi Huntress Earth said:
I was inspired by the Mystic Mike thread (which reminded me how reality TV is full of Lolcows.) So I thought I'd put up a thread dedicated to them all that we can share.

There's some obvious ones like Amy's Bakery (Kitchen Nightmares), O Face (Bar Rescue), the gay guy and Kyle (season 4 of Ink Master) and that obese, screaming fundy from Wife Swap. Here's some others...

Mr. Special (America's Got Talent)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xZW4_S_KiHc
Aaneya Maria (also AGT)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=io-pLi8N9Dc
Click to expand...
A couple of things about the full-of-herself Aneya Marie:

  1. David Bowie combined mime and singing FAR better than her, OVER FORTY YEARS AGO; and
  2. Based on her flirtations with the guy who liked her socks, I'll bet she's far hotter in the sack, than on the stage.
 
Local D-list celebrity Silvio DiSalvatore, ran a local public access TV show about his imaginary superhero that was a surreal, steam-of-consciousness clusterfudge, went on one of those inventor shows, and later went on to one of those family road trip shows.

I've been asking him, periodically over the years, to release his old TV show onto DVD or video. For one special episode, he showed up at a local historian's house, only to find that he wasn't home - but he went on filming anyhow, and interviewed his clearly uncomfortable wife for no good reason. Has a direct-to-DVD movie about Black Cougar, a terrifying superhero who only protects children.

I love this guy.


10_7_09_chazz_kabik-144-570.jpg
 
DrChristianTroy said:
What makes reality TV lolcows disappointing is that unless it's a long running series they rarely have longevity. Even then they can move into legit acting (Jamie Chung) or at least learn not to be a PR fuck up (see Snooki). They may overreact and do stupid shit but they can't compare to actual lolcows.
Click to expand...

In all honesty, I was actually thinking the same thing. It's kinda like a less hardcore lolcow breed for the mainstream audience. Still, they a are group that do have a good number of lolcow qualities.
 
Tila Tequila became an even bigger a year ago when she decided to become a conspiracy theorist. She'd talk about how the Jews "demonized" Hitler (he was a "good man"), is a holocaust denier, that she was some warrior of light who would lead man to a new age, that she had magical powers, what a "I-don't-give-a-fuck" badass she is and the Illuminati were the ones responsible for destroying her career and trying to kill her.

I'd link to her page, but she gave up on it (I think her attempt to become a cult leader failed) and closed down the site. Now it seems like she forgot all about it and removed any of her old articles.
 
When I lived with two roomies a few years ago, we'd sometimes watch Wife Swap and there was one family that really stuck out: Haigwood and Hess-Web. The Haigwoods try to shut themselves from the outside world, believing in the "raw food philosophy", don't school their kids at all and that "bacteria is your friend".

MrsFrizzle: I so fear for that child.
 
Yaoi Huntress Earth said:
When I lived with two roomies a few years ago, we'd sometimes watch Wife Swap and there was one family that really stuck out: Haigwood and Hess-Web. The Haigwoods try to shut themselves from the outside world, believing in the "raw food philosophy", don't school their kids at all and that "bacteria is your friend".

MrsFrizzle: I so fear for that child.
Click to expand...
They're hippie rednecks. How the fuck have they not had their kids taken away? And the other family is wussy lady and gay guy. Jesus christ I dislike both those families. I wonder what would have happened if my family had gone on Wife Swap. I'm guessing it probably would have ended with someone in handcuffs.
Madness runs in the Fragg family.
 
I used to really like watching Food Network Challenge back when it was still on (and still actually good) and there was one particular woman who every time she was a contestant, you know things were gonna get ugly.
Most contestants feared the eagle-eyed, master sugar artist, Kerry Vincent who made Simon Cowell sound meek and mild mannered. All except the inimitable Stevie Famulari, who laughed in the face of criticism, aesthetics, cleanliness, and sanity for that matter. She had a rivalry with the prim and proper Kerry Vincent, that was best summed up by a single episode:
Three contestants, (Stevie included) were to make a birthday cake for a mystery person. Surprise, surprise, it was Kerry Vincent! The expectation was that she would get a cake from each baker. What she got was two cakes and a flaming post-modern diarrhea sculpture http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2009...e-oh-wait-they-already-did.html?currentPage=3
This post on Cake Wrecks showcases it well.
 
Yaoi Huntress Earth said:
When I lived with two roomies a few years ago, we'd sometimes watch Wife Swap and there was one family that really stuck out: Haigwood and Hess-Web. The Haigwoods try to shut themselves from the outside world, believing in the "raw food philosophy", don't school their kids at all and that "bacteria is your friend".

MrsFrizzle: I so fear for that child.
Click to expand...

I remember them. That was some seriously appalling parenting.
Who was that insane guy who admitted to brainwashing his daughters? He was even worse and I don't think he learned a thing from the experience.
 
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