random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[not william stenchever]

I am the god of fuck.
I am cornholio.
I am sneed.

 

[McMitch]

Credit to @Mr. Racewar1488 in USPG2 for first reporting this story

 

[Secret Boots]

Women are Jews.

 

[rofllmaoxdwow]

Yep because we're child eating monsters.

Hail to Aryan race

What are you, the denizens of Kiwi Farms, going to do about autism? Answer me that.

Point and laugh, probably.

His mom is feeding his shota nugget bondage drawings into AI.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Autumn. Britain. Spiders the size of rats, wandering in in search of love.

Tase him! Tase him, Gender Cop!

The Norwood Reaper don't ask for no pronouns.

To this day, I have no idea if our 'Master' is human or not.

A mobility scooter is not a motor vehicle under the statute in Nevada so police typically cannot charge you with an official DUI while operating one.

She can't get a job, you ableist, she's had a hysterectomy.

 

[Pee Cola]

I am late and very LGBTQIAP+++ friendly

 

[obsdj]

Holy fuck you know you can experience a vegetable without fucking it right?

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

What states do you go to jail for consensually engaging in a gangbang?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

We need to find a way to drop MovieBob into that "fascist Mario" thread.

Just say you don't know Blacked. As a Blacked connoisseur myself, I have nothing other than positive things to say about Scarlett's performance and capasity.

I'd laugh my ass off if a guy started singing The Morning After from The Poseidon Adventure during a creampie scene.

I have had a human child with my human wife but also want to fuck the dinosaurs.

yelling MEDIOCRE and giving the thumbs down as I send someone's grandma flying over my hood cause she didn't look before crossing the street

The results are conclusive: arguing with a woman is mathematically identical to white noise. In concrete terms, a woman engaged in a political argument is indistinguishable from a Pachinko machine with a bin in the center that calls you a gay incel and bins in the tails that attack your religion or question your sanity.

I don't understand why you are so angry about stupid whores being fucked by men with fake tits. Is it because you genuinely like to imagine you are the man in the video when watching a porn when a man fucks a whore, and the concept of getting silicone implants is confusing and erotic to you? Because personally, I tend to not think about the man, but instead about the whore- "that's a whore. I'd fuck that whore (if it was for free like the pirated video I'm watching)".

@Scarletthampton dont you EVER rate me MATI ever again do you understand me BISH!?!?!?!

she had a massive spergout about AI in the wrong thread. So far she's gotten 12 top hats, 8 trash cans, 23 puzzle pieces, and a lol.

Being called a fat gay incel just means you made an argument that shorted out her brain.

Gonna be absent today, going to Rapists Anonymous this evening with my stupid bitch wife who I love and adore more than anything tbh

MOM!!!

THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THE TIMELINE AGAIN!

Low and behold, the spaces intended to contain human feces aren't the best place to catch a fresh breath of air.

I hope you mention the beleaguered wizard who isn't allowed to get a longevity ritual because his cum is literally magic.

When I was a kid I really wanted the bubble bath that came in the bottle shaped like a pirate.

I never got it and my life never recovered

I don't really care about your twos' catfight, I'm just talking about a 20 year old children's nintendo game.

What does 'goybeam' even mean? There is no such beam. And yet I can't compete with it.

You're right. If he's gonna be an obnoxious faggot he could at least put a little effort into it.

The "your" was aimed at the imaginary person fucking the blacked dating app rando, but go off, triggered queen.

I saw a lez use labris as a cutie mark for her ponysona in late 90s, so no

 

[PhoBingas]

The feeling, prolapsed ass man, is completely mutual.

 

[Smokin' Niggardly Fags]

Imagine being twelve years old, showing your mother a cartoon you like, and suddenly one of those cartoon characters is your "stepdad." Imagine this is your childhood.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I have solved nothing, but I needed to work that out.

If I treat a thread that’s 99% jokes as a source of serious information without further review it’s like 12 other people’s fault actually.

I have opinions on this matter. I will not give them due to self preservation.

That is to say, 'yes, I can pretend to care about the technology that causes millions of people on Reddit to suffer mental health problems every time it updates being used for suicide prevention, but I really have some Muslims to bomb right now.'

That looks like omniman with tits.

Wait wtf youre a guy? I feel raped

I feel raped that you were imagining me as a woman.

 

[Queen Metalia]

Consequences will never be the same

 

[Chromeo]

please be a sperm bank please be a sperm bank please be a sperm bank

Kiwi bank kiwibank from the kiwi land with the kiwi bank kiwibank kiwi fags and kiwi trans kiwi shagging the kiwi bank kiwibank kiwi sheep documented on the kiwi farms with kiwi kiwis laughing at the kiwi bank kiwibank kiwi sheep kiwi wankers

Kiwi Bank Kiwibank Kiwibank Kiw Kiwi Kiwibank Kiwi Bank Kiwikiwi Bankbank Kiwi Bankwi Kibank Bankiwi

 

[demicolon]

You saw the words "Brazilian RPG player" and weren't expecting a tranny?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Thanks for specifying that your suicide baiting was budget-conscious.

You know how new parents or pro athletes or Poet Laureates have intrinsic reasons to get up in the morning? This is the opposite of that.

If you're going to be a sexual narcissist at least do your best to be attractive.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

We could have had moon bases by now instead of copyright disputes over fucking a drawing of a sheep.

 

[monstrous bubo]

I'll stick to being poor with a small penis

 

[Gentlebastard]

I am funnier than you, therefore I am the most important contributor to this thread!

A part of me wants to be MATI, but I can’t find it in me tonight.

jfc this was a thing? Canning but retarded?

A whole fucking race made of DSPs sounds like a nightmare, but here we are with a very real scenario happening RIGHT NOW

It may seem unbelievable but a cow can survive outside of a jar for years on end.

It’s the sheer creativity in finding ways to fuck up simple things that leaves me awestruck.

 

[Among Us Gaming]

please do not post direct links to potential CP here.