random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Aunt Carol]

I love my damp little island and the drunks who inhabit it, and I hope our history is still remembered long after I'm gone.

I am not travelling across the ocean for a cat, no matter how cute.

See, I’m trying to read your post but the letters keep rearranging themselves to spell “I groom children and I think communism is neat!”

You care more about cats than you do your opsec.
For that you have my respect.

a) I'm not trying to pass myself off as Mesopotamian

Last time I checked, owning a cat or a dog isn't remotely similar to a criminal sex offence, let alone one done to children.

 

[dramamine]

@Skittles 666

sometimes to make myself giggle when im alone ill flip the words in double words like "cheeseburger" to "burgcheeser". gotta do something to stay happy in this world

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

his heart isn't in it. this is low elo/mmr misogyny

Even the strongest feminist has to call women a dumb hole from time to time.

I don't think Jersh has his shit together enough to be predatory. He's just brain-damaged by fatherlessness.

(My mother was implausibly evil, so I have the opposite thing.)

These are not the same thing, and therein lies the difference of outcome for the sneaky fucker, which is a documented sexual strategy.

When your home alone its fine to walk around in your underware, not so much when you have houseguests.

Imagine trying to maintain a serious discussion of solutions to the Irish Famine while some people keep proposing A Modest Proposal.

All of your information comes from a caring place and I don’t doubt any of it but it is really fucking funny to imagine someone telling Josh to eat a cheese stick or get a Capri Sun while he’s in the middle of one of his on stream meltdowns

 

[Post Reply]

top tier avatar+post combo.

in other news, courtesy of SpaceEdge:
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You can't help yourself, death threats are like cupcakes to you. They're gone and finished before you know what you did.

 

[Gentlebastard]

KF is the only place that you can archive the shit I post which will be important in the coming years. I hope in fifty years a history professor has to site posts made by Mr. Racewar1488 when writing about the Iran War or Maduro getting churroed.

It should have given him a number for the Suicide Encouragement hotline.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Not the Heartbreak Kid, the Heartattack Kid.

 

[Harm]

>I was so angry I could literally feel my pulse in my retinas

 

[Radola Gajda]

"We talked and agreed I raped her."

 

[SNEED.EXE]

Newgrounds was dead the moment Tom removed all the Meet'n'Fuck games.

I'll rape you now in a minute.

Unicode niggers explode.

I cannot fucking believe that some retarded nigga is met with unfamiliar lingo and can only conceive of it as a "dogwhistle" lmao

It's gotten to the point I see a link in this thread, I start open mouth chewing

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠉⠙⠛⠉⣁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

Princess Peach with enormous tits ruined my loife.

 

[mr. testicular torsion]

How do you snort ketamine off a guy's dick when you're unconscious? I'm guessing you have some experience here.

With skill.

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

Who watches the watchers? Who rapes the raped?

 

[McMitch]

If your plan involves cuckoldry you should probably come up with a new plan

 

[Aunt Carol]

The only thing he could think about was projectile penis preventatives.

Server's deader than the Wogglebug's relevance in the pop culture zeitgeist.

You underestimate my autism, dear friend.

Educate an old man...is MATI a show or something?

All of this is just fun Wogglespeculation.

This is one of those weird anatomy fics that you're expect to just jack yourself off along to.

It smells like unwashed dick because it is an unwashed dick!

Maybe, I dunno, don't join the I Hate Whitey group when you're white? I guess?

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

Gollum with pink hair auditioning for American Idol.

I'm going to go in my aunt's knitting facebook group and cut up my face and moan like a werewolf so help me god

Ehrm akshoelly i'm a child molester, not a pedophile

YEAH THESE CRACKERS IS AFTER ME CUZ I REALLY WROTE ALLA SHAKESPERE'S SHIT AND I WON THE WAR OF THE ROSES

Those aren’t tree trunk legs, those are sequoia legs.

They look like if Hitler was accepted into an art school in current year though.

getting stared down in the locker room by a troon with a boner

Its called the 'Fuentes Effect' it occurs when a scrote gets a specific type of brain worm that makes him think being attracted to Women is gay.

I thought he was the ultimate evil, but he was just some fat guy from brooklyn

>be me
>me bee
>buzz buzz

Men are only allowed to cry at the end of the movie My Dog Skip. Sorry, but them's the rules.

 

[Sooty Soot]

Mad at the Internet? More like, Gay at the you, because he's a gay faggot for you or some shit, uuuhhh owned?

Source

 

[rofllmaoxdwow]

I feel raped that you were imagining me as a woman.

 

[LastStableVersion]

"I have a bonus for you *slides envelope across desk* I'll give you a hint: it's feces and pubes in it. Open it up!"

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

it's shit-or-go-blind time and we'd better all fucking hang together or we'll hang separately

One swatting is a tragedy. 55 swattings is a comedy

That and nuclear power generation.

If we want to agree women lack the agency to decide whether or not to snort ketamine off a guy's penis, there are further implications I'd like to discuss.

As I mull over this situation, I have realized something. No matter what your tale of woe is - you were raped, you were robbed, you were defrauded, you preordered Kane & Lynch 2, whatever - if your story begins with, "So there I was, snorting ketamine off this guy's penis," I think the rest of the narrative just doesn't matter that much.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Intelligent women can learn calculus and differential equations. But even those ones can't explain the state and the distribution of power. Their brains just collapse into static that occasionally coalesces in to the shape of a penis every few seconds when confronted with the subject.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I know what you're doing because you smell like weed and won't shut up about weed. By disturbing my peace with weed stench and stoner babble, you have violated the NAP. Under the principles outlined in Man, Economy, and State, I now have the right to subscribe to Kill Squad as a Service (KSaaS) and eliminate the threat.

What does 'goybeam' even mean? There is no such beam. And yet I can't compete with it.

No one in my career will ever know that I’m the ultimate gender disrespecter and at this point I just find it funny.

Fortunately he appears to have become conspiracy-pilled about food safety guidelines, so there is a distinct possibility we might get a botulism arc soon, assuming he hasn't developed immunity to it.

Mr. Bubble is the only bathtime character I'd trust around my children anyways. If you get kidnaped by a bubble or someone pretending to be a bubble, that's natural selection at that point.