random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[NoReturn]

I'm a straight dumb furry thanks

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I have been ip banned from buying fucking soup.

 

[Not Funny]

View attachment 9536320
Found a candidate for random_text.txt on the thread about null and his mom.

FAGGOT LAW

From Reddit.

 

[Dr. Butt]

men will say shit like “rape is natural. it happens in nature all the time!!1!1” but then they freak out when a mom kills her kids? animals in nature do that all the time. AND she didn’t even eat them. in nature the moms eat them.

Even if it was free speech, what exactly are you saying with child porn?

 

[Hooked on phobics]

I finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a Discord mod!!!

The judge ought to be interviewing martial artists to decide who should execute Lindsay. She killed three kids, so she needs to be left in a pit with three martial artists.

If you said this gay shit to me I wouldn't even beat the fuck out of you. I'd grapple you down, take the back then rub ur cock until you got hard

 

[Da Capo]

I wanna take that guy's ugly beard and sew it to his extremely bald head and spray paint it blue so he looks like a fat Marge Simpson.

Moreover, ice should be kept in a cool, freezing environment.

 

[Blackhole]

Just popped a Trump and everything turned orange. I think that shit was laced

 

[JustSomeDong]

Also I'm not low T. I bench 225 and do MMA. If you said this gay shit to me I wouldn't even beat the fuck out of you. I'd grapple you down, take the back then rub ur cock until you got hard then laugh and call you a faggot as you struggled to deal with your sexuality lol.

 

[Autistic Joe]

He looks like Jet and ADF had a gay butt baby with each other.

He's actually doing it...
He's becoming the first AMAB Trans Man...

what the fuuuuuck is this.
This is like an MtFtMtFtM he's almost like a guy trying to look like a lesbian.
is this... troonception ????

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

"This is not a baseball bat," I explained to the executives at the CBC.

I was biting down on the toilet roll holder in terror.

Something tells me his therapist doesn't do a very good job.

See also: Pink Dorito of Shame

Wrzyszcz

"We know this is white people's fault, but the fascinating question left unanswered is: how?"

If I had to choose between having a vast vocabulary and being straight, forsooth, I would take the bumming.

I've learned if you drop a "I've heard it both ways" with absolute confidence you can get away with saying just about anything.

The first place any man with non-monetary currency chooses to spend that currency, is his penis.

I'd say give it a rest, but this constant ongoing tantrum over Trump is literally fueling the entire media industry, so curing TDS would actually constitute a minor threat to the economy, lol.

Six Degrees of Adolf Hitler

 

[Hooked on phobics]

Clancy jurors.mp4
(Last 10 seconds of video) "He had the hardest time getting off the fact that Lindsay viciously killed her children."

these are the users who call you moid/scrote when you say that murdering children is bad:

 

[Xarpho's Return]

"Big Orgasm doesn't want you to know this, but...."

You can't fix stupid, but you can stop subsidizing it.

I assume that even though you’ve chosen the pseudonym ’Lord of Shit’, you would have no issues with people henceforth referring to you as ‘dog-molesting underwear thief’?

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

View attachment 9543209

 

[Gentlebastard]

It gets the job done but sure isn't satisfying. It's like the Swanson's frozen dinners of porn.

you called me british in your post

Oh yeah I did, sorry. My bad.

Laugh all you want, but those kids in front provide extra crumple zone to protect the bike rider in a head-on collision.

I just wanted to troll r/sweden, like any sane person from Denmark would.

He's such a strange and fat person.

I started the video thinking -- okay, he's expressing himself awkwardly, but this was a time when people were less inclined to read pedophilia into everything. Then he started on with, "MMMhmMMHMM and when the dresses come up you SEE THE PANTIES... "

 

[Aunt Carol]

This doesn't make a lick of sense. Did he inject his balls with Fanta?

Bullshit, you living-on-the-internet faggots.

I don't think Brian will ever fuck his mom, but he might pee on her a lil bit.

The Khmer Rouge was brutal, insane, and evil, but it at least had some internal consistency.

 

[Speedrunner]

If it wasn't gay I would totally have sex with you.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Communism....but for only Americans.

 

[Mr. Beavis]

“What? I reflect every day, I stare at the wall and I think!”

 

[toilet_rainbow]

From the Ace Winters thread

 

[Gentlebastard]

So at first teacher said 2+2=4 but then she said 2×2=4. Which is it? Clearly it cannot be both without the aid of Talmudic Jewish sorcery.

Town retard, night shift.

Didn't know becoming an obese alcoholic was an accomplishment. I guess he'll take whatever he can get at 46.

We use the nigger word and engage in wrongthink here, which scares normies.

The back of his neck definitely looks like a package of hotdogs.