random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Path Wanderer]

August 2022 Jamaican fuckfest to ceremonially consummate this Faustian bargain

It's all part of the assclown-to-childrape industrial complex.

 

[Gog & Magog]

I want to remove the thread where I wrongly named someone as the Antichrist.

I think I was trolling, but now I feel embarrassed about the post.

Just go confess in church about it or something. KiwiFarms really isn’t serious business.

edit: what the fuck? you have way more pressing things to atone for actually

I knew one of the most down bad meth addicts, I'm talking I'LL SUCK YO DICK, MAN!

Eventually, he gets off crack and starts gaming in a halfway house and now is fucking obsessed with beating doctor robotniks mean bean machine as fast as possible.

 

[Autistic Joe]

I have it on good authority that Moon is part of a secret Catholic task force, based in Florida.

 

[Total Annihilation]

How do you people even find this shit I swear to God

 

[Mamimi]

Almost every hardship I put myself through is in pursuit of sex, I get education for sex, I work for sex, I work out for sex, I try to socialize for sex, I take care of my health for sex, and despite all the work I put in to get sex the payment never comes. How is that not slavery?

 

[Bunny Tracks]

Green eggs and Ham but it's trying to figure out what it'd take to get someone to want to fuck king arthur in a romantical way.

 

[Aunt Carol]

He wants the representatives from Taco Bell to come to his home with a dozen Crunchwraps and explain to him personally what happened.

All of them claim to have magic powers activated by rape, or that they're immune to bullets. Maybe some of them are right.

He wants to be his sister. He wants to fuck his sister. That's not natural.

After years of recommending me the same three podcast bros over and over, YT has started to show me Japanese cats.

can you smell it? can you smell... the conscent?

If you suck at shit posting maybe stop shit posting?

Palazzo pants used to be a thing but weren't known for lethality.

edit: AH FUCK I DOXED MY SCROLLBAR FUCK

Sometimes I really fucking hate when my food touches so I got myself three Corelle divided plates. A small lunch one and two larger dinner ones. One of the dinner ones is for my mom because she also hates it when her food touches sometimes.

 

[Spectate]

1/4 chance she's unethical to goon to.

The random chance of it being an unethical goonsesh makes it more exciting.

 

[Nameless One]

what do I do when my girlfriend wants to tickle me for like hours and I can't use my gorilla strength to fight her off out of fear of destroying her but also I don't want to be tickled to death is this domestic violence?

Huh? What?

 

[Zeftax]

I almost made it through the month without being wished a "happy pride" and that streak gets broken on KiwiFarms of all places. Fuck my stupid faggot life

had to ruin the thread with unfunny racism great

 

[Oh!]

"Jewish domination" is my favorite porn category.

 

[Meat Target]

I’m not racist, I fetishize skin color on occasion.

 

[306h4Ge5eJUJ]

If I had to summarise my feelings about her in one word, I would say: annoyed. I am annoyed that she’s a paedophile. Not disgusted or horrified. I’ve seen worse. There are a lot of fucked up people. She isn’t even a very good paedophile.

There is a part during the recording in which I cough, and then clear my throat. It seems relatively innocuous to the casual listener, but it was intentional and also part of my torture; she suffers from tourettes syndrome and that sound triggers violent twitches on her part.

 

[Gentlebastard]

It's one of the perfect threads. Just laughing at a fat pig who can't keep his mouth shut. He hasn't done anything heinous that would make you MATI and legitimately hate him. He's just a fat retard embarrassing himself over and over.

You're both repulsively crazy headcases, hope that clears things up.

God I never knew how heavenly the internet was until it changed.

The Tranch cartel will send an alpaca head to the doorstep of every transphobic, gosh-darn-dirty troll as a mark of death.

Maybe it sounded better echoing around his empty head.

So youtube's algorithm has finally internalized that I am an evil extremist, and started making me the appropriate recommendations. I present to you, "When Cops Faced Entitled Transgenders".

 

[Brap God]

my entire ground is covered in bionicles and i have to dig out a spot to sleep in my toys like a pig in mud but i wont sell even 1% of this 1 trillion dollar collection to buy a car beacause the ants will steal it anyway

 

[Bill Evans 45]

Andy has as much chance of being a successful hacker as a paraplegic has of winning a game of Twister.

unstoppable humiliation whale meets the immovable niggeroni sommelier

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

hold onto your steering wheel driver, listen to the navigator, he's a giraffe, he knows better.

I'd give her my well groomed, hygienic, high, hard one.

Is that the bitch that got caught fucking her cousin by her boyfriend who spied on her using a $600 Bluetooth kitty litter box? That shit was both sad and hilarious

Bro peered into the abyss and the abyss yiffed back.

View attachment 9282280Jeets and Male feminists who collect popcorn buckets.

It’s both too Jewish and not Jewish enough.

Whenever things go wrong for me I shall think of this man and feel better.

 

[Drip Torch]

“I have it on good authority that Moon is part of a secret Catholic task force, based in Florida.”

 

[Toothp!ck]

Poor Will is looking up skirts through a glass ceiling.

THROW THIS NIGGER INTO THE BLACK HOLE OF CALCUTTA.

That kid has a lolcow phenotype.

Anyone who plays as a catboy has something wrong with them upstairs.

The only people who play as catboys are the truely deranged.

Truthfully, when a fat nigga speaks, you shut up and listen.

Uwe Boll is like the DSP of filmmakers, you cannot hate the guy.

Only the French would want to live in a place called Coat the Niggers

Canadian police are what happens when you take British police and equip them like Americans.

One day you're wishing every veteran gets PTSD, the next you're six figures in the hole to a Jew.

Life sure comes at you fast.

https://x.com/ClaireBalan/status/2078182698326122616

He claims he has a monthly period, but because he has external male parts the blood comes out of his anus.

 

[Laburnum]

I’m a horny old pervert and I don’t care anymore.