random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Super Malario]

I use data centers to store pictures of my nutsack.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

it's pretty obvious with even a cursory glance at any online pornography site.

 

[Lords Greatsword]

I learned that day that some things are just better left alone, including penis-related weight training. Even if I'm leaving some gains on the table

 

[Chiang Kai-shek]

Almost every hardship I put myself through is in pursuit of sex, I get education for sex, I work for sex, I work out for sex, I try to socialize for sex, I take care of my health for sex, and despite all the work I put in to get sex the payment never comes. How is that not slavery?

 

[30+GameOvers]

@WelperHelper99

women are cunts.

hope that helps

 

[Metamorpho]

Death to footfags

 

[Unpaid Emotional Labourer]

What a coincidence - I too am known for my racism.

 

[Mr Hooper]

I was at coworkers house one time and he had this magazine laying out, colored magazine, said something about halle Berry being half polish and i remarked that she steals VCRs but can't figure out how to program em haha, I got punched.

 

[often puzzled]

Like, "im the prettiest girl here, i dont even smell like sweat! I do shit myself tho"

 

[Chromeo]

Step one: Buy 364 fake id's.
Step two: Never pay for food again.

 

[Shiki Ouji]

Played the system like a fiddle. Godspeed, you Nazi faggot.

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

Moobs are not breast tissue, you dumbass.

 

[invisibult plus+]

Welper is a fat mormon who needs to stop using kiwifarms so much. Also you need to moisturize those hands. You should get a 125 pound Latina chick like me. I AM GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH WELPERHELPER764 AND MOISTURIZE HIS DRY HANDS WITH MY PUSSY JUICES. FUCK PLEASE COLONIZE THIS SPICY LATINA TACO WITH YOUR CHRISTPILLED ROD. THIS HEATHEN NEEDS YOUR CONQUESTADOR DICK TO PLUNDER HER VIRGIN RICHES!!!!!!

 

[Breadbear]

You aren't supposed to find a therapist on twitter you shoulder munching retard.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

hold that tight little yellow ass still Pikachu, I'm cummin in.......

 

[Gentlebastard]

Ah, how freeing it must be to live without shame, without awareness of a future.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but nothing hurts worse than a denied opportunity at rebellion

And here I was making fun of your lack of commitment on all the talk of forcible, violent sodomy.

The word you're looking for is connotation.

i was looking for rhetorical defamiliarisation but thanks for the free word sucker

You stupid grease golem, you managed to make Patrick Tomlinson the actual voice of reason, do you know how hard that is to accomplish?

It's both sad in a pathetic way but also really funny in a pathetic way as well.

"The Land", sometimes subdivided further into "This Land Over Here" and "That Land Over There" (usually where the assholes live).

Well I've decided to embark on a career as a porn star, and the first step is to get my (real) last name tattooed on my chest

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Did you fuck any of the rocks?

 

[Nameless One]

Welperhelper99

Welper is a fat mormon who needs to stop using kiwifarms so much. Also you need to moisturize those hands. You should get a 125 pound Latina chick like me. I AM GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH WELPERHELPER764 AND MOISTURIZE HIS DRY HANDS WITH MY PUSSY JUICES. FUCK PLEASE COLONIZE THIS SPICY LATINA TACO WITH YOUR CHRISTPILLED ROD. THIS HEATHEN NEEDS YOUR CONQUESTADOR DICK TO PLUNDER HER VIRGIN RICHES!!!!!!

I think you cry after masturbating

why are you downplaying japan's bizarre relationship with sex? because it mirrors your own? that's what drew you to it in the first place? birds of a feather?

Black line on the back is poopoo, the one on the belly is the nervous system

it is a bit odd to be this much of a Bible thumping fanatic (to the point you wish for all premarital sex havers to die) only to then be morbidly obese and be perfectly fine with said obesity. You know you can just... stop shoveling slop into your mouth for a bit? Track your calories? Do some exercise? Fucking hop on ozempic if you're that lazy. Are gluttony and sloth not ALSO mortal sins according to the Bible? Just as lust is? How does he square that circle?

The only way to solve this thread is to track down lidl drip and android raptor and force them to marry welper in a classic mormon polygamous marriage. We can then lock them in a cabin in the utah mountains and stream it fishtank style.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Nobody goes the distance against Sliders, it's just a matter of when you tap out. Don't be a hero

 

[skunt]

Hey faggot I was doing a bit of research on your waifu to see if she dies or gets raped so I can taunt you with it.