random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Spectate]

so i just end up jerking off to Japanese gravure models to cope. I really like Ai Yamada and Shinonome Umi and i wish they were real because theyre super pretty and seem nice but when i realize there not real i get sad and jerk off again.

My wife knows it as "The HATE website" aka "What are you reading... is it the HATE website?".

 

[Sooty Soot]

you niggers picked on me in school so die.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

Our trannies have the thickest, hardest girlcocks and our pooners are the most disappointing pooners around.

 

[JustSomeDong]

did you really bump this thread to reply to a week old post about cock you fucking faggot

You have posted twice at me to talk about cocks.

I liked the cheese discourse much more than the multi-page cock discourse

The masculine urge to talk about penises and their shapes.

 

[DickMain]

The melanin has already floated off his skin after watching so many ancient movies with vintage baddies

 

[JustSomeDong]

How do women at large feel about a stoic, intellectual penis?

"What are you listening to, honey?"
"An ooperator planning to defraud Medicare to fund a 1000 acre compound stuck in the 1990s, with Japanese music and violence-enforced punctuality."

"I have to be careful what I say on the Internet"
-Dear Feeder 2 minutes after calling in 10 ton bombs to be dropped on the Commonwealth.

"The man in the pickle suit was out with Kiwi Farms users celebrating the 250th birthday of America and trying to score some black girls, and found the nontent skelly got invited to a gala by Marco Rubio... This was after the Steel Toe took a win when he crashed his van into a front loader. Then the cocaine-dosed 9 year old got her cast signed by Jack Posobiec."

I hate that nothing Josh said seemed inexplicably insane.

 

[Autistic Joe]

View attachment 9246070
What is the charge? Eating niglet? A succulent Milwaukee niglet?

 

[Gentlebastard]

That poor woman needs therapy to work on her self confidence. But unfortunately all she’ll probably get is a liberal therapist who will try to gaslight her into thinking she’s the problem for that little bit of self respect she still has.

Jenkem use is unfairly stigmatized. It's free. It's natural. I've never seen a report of a driver on jenkem killing anybody. Weed and alcohol? Definitely can't say that.

Damn, here I thought I was being an arch racist but FACTS & LOGIC have shown that not to be the case.

there was a part of me screaming not to ask the question. I owe that part of me a drink as an apology.

 

[Among Us Gaming]

I observe the Sharty and the Sharty thread like a scientist observing an alien life form viciously maiming and killing its prey. I don’t understand it, I find it very interesting, and it scares me

 

[RomanianSchizo]

In this house we believe
Science is Neil
Black Seals Matter
No Neil is Illegal
Neil's Rights are Human Rights
Neil is Love
Kindness Towards Neil First

UTTP must die! I'm afraid this is gonna be it, We're kill them all and that's only way to do, It's time let Kiwis decide to destroy UTTP Forums and take them down! NOW! It is over for them. This is gonna be done!

If you want real advice go ask chatGPT, it sounds stupid, but treat it as a the rapist

I am detaining Paul Pelosi on suspicions of being an asian woman

I AM BLACK! When I commit crimes I don't wait for the police either! He is Black!

Calling it "a photo of Shrek's penis" carries some wild implications:

1) It's a real photo
2) Thus, Shrek is real
3) Shrek definitely 100% has a penis
4) This was a real, honest to God photograph of Shrek jorkin' his hog
5) Shrek loves it. I mean that one's not directly implied but you can assume he's having a great time crankin' that hog
6) This blogger might face prison time because of Shrek's erect penis

One does not simply deny Shrek's penis and its' implications.

 

[Law]

He allegedly has a "wedgie fetish" and once lied about being sent letters by the FBI

 

[Wiggerlicious]

What if instead of Lidl Drip it was Lidl Crip and instead of hating men, xe hated bloods and gangbanged n shit.

 

[Oliver Onions]

she literally passes for Italian

 

[Chromeo]

Yes I used AI for this, fuck your utility bill a fat woman needs fashion advice.

IWANTMYDICKANDBALLPHYSICS

The female body has evolved unique characteristics not found in the male body. What you're encountering is the female body's specialised ability to generate organosulfur compounds. You see, the female body releases a mixture of (E)-2-butene-1-thiol, 3-methyl-1-butanethiol, and 2-phenylethanethiol compounds when it detects the presence of a predator. Known as stench compounds, the smell is one of the most important safety mechanisms the modern female body has. You are probably most familiar with this biological mechanism in the skunk.

So, what you're actually describing isn't bad vagina health, it is the female body's highly evolved defence mechanism that accurately identifies you as a predator. The fact that you are encountering it so often speaks to just how much of a dangerous predator you are. And it's working! The women stay single, free from your clutches. God bless the female body.

Why is anyone surprised a guy posting on kiwifarms doesn't have much experience seeing real women in their underwear?

THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS!!! STOP PUTTING THINGS IN YOUR FETID CUNT

Ah yes, the fabled yaoi hole

 

[Chromeo]

EDIT: Erryone marking this late can form a neat, orderly, single file line and gargle my balls. That is all, thank you.

Bad news about Boogie2988.
1) He is still alive.

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

Imagine being the one Frenchie with testicles who grabs that fat retard and pile drives him into the concrete like Zangief from Street Fighter. His crippled fat body broken forever as you go “Huuugn hun Gunn~ Zee French only know victory!!”, smoking one of those faggy cigarettes and eating a pastry in victory.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I love memes about shooting John Lennon.

Did Janoids delete our entire intelectual discussion about eating ass and it's consequences for human race? It was completely pertinent to the topic of this thread. 100%.

her scalp decided to hold an everything-must-go-sale on all things keratinous

he/him/Helen of Troy

"I loved diversity until I actually had to experience it" is one of my favorite stops on the Growing The Fuck Up Express.

The ironic thing is he actually looks gayer in this original image than me actively trying to make him as gay as free gemeni AI can make him before it reports me to the feds

 

[Gay_Ops69]

God fucked him in life. Satan will fuck him in hell.

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

Nevermind, I'm a retard who can't read.

EDIT: But so are you.

 

[DumbDude43]

(merited) fear of soyjaks after dark