random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Happy Little War Painter]

Expect something funny.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

my nigga there’s a limit and the limit is when you start schmeating your meat to little anime girls being skinned alive.

 

[Dr. Arinsu]

You are not jesus, you are a false prophet sent here by Lucifer himself to stone those who call you out for the bullshit that permeates from the fuckhole you call a mouth. Do us all a favor and get our cocks out your mouth or go back to sucking at drawing you beached whale.

 

[WinRAR Free Trial]

It would make sense if he sperged out and killed his family after mom found the MLP cum jar, then decided he wanted to try and kill someone else so it wasn't just a total tardrage that would qualify for a 20 minute slop content cut for a true crime channel.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I didn't jack off for three months after my brother died because for some reason I thought it was disrespectful.

 

[Oliver Onions]

I have no idea how you argue your way out of receiving case-ending sanctions, but I'm willing to bet quite a lot this isn't the way to do it.

 

[Lords Greatsword]

If it was a crime to be an idiot, I'd suspect you'd have several life sentences.

 

[Pedophobe]

I expect nothing and am rarely disappointed.

Farmers are a small part of the economy, but everyone benefits from them.

If you don't trust me, you can trust Wikihow.

 

[Meat Target]

I had a fever dream last week that April avenged the skunks and raccoons. She's a woodsy little trollop with a wide array of suitable weapons at her disposal. The spirits of the dead animals will guide her hands.

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

Fake burgers are just the troons of fast food.

 

[Gentlebastard]

On one hand fuck 'em, on the other don't fuck 'em too hard or they'll go elsewhere and shit up elsewhere too.

"Every Santa denier is our enemy in this historic struggle, regardless of whether he grinches in a Polish ghetto or carries on his humbug existence in Berlin or Hamburg or blows the trumpets of Happy Holidays in New York or Washington."

No, we don't hate you for being fat, we hate you bc you have neither manners or shame.

Speak for yourself, I also hate them for being fat.

Something something I hate fat people.

These people could be circus freaks 100 years ago.

I hate that this isn't AI.

Every time a fat cop blows the brains out of a pitbull an angel gets laid.

I take you less serious because you throttle what you say as to not offend. I'll take the anon spouting niggers and kikes over the real name who censors words like rape, kill, and gun to appease the algo.

Nobody is impressed that you pretend not to look at porn.

Not even my methed up whitest trash cousins do that.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Timmy wears his cuck cage proudly even in Equestria. So that's a moot point

 

[Laburnum]

"The Critic originally agreed to publish this pitch, but replied it was 'a bit much' for them when I went 'nuclear' in my defence of incest."

Source

 

[Gog & Magog]

Cereal for breakfast, Lunchables for lunch, and Kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner. The only acceptable drinks are chocolate milk or Bug Juice. The food pyramid THEY don't want you to know about.

Fuck anybody who tells you otherwise. No Food Nazis will not tell me what to eat or not.

everytime you are masturbating you are having sex with a demon

 

[Dr. Butt]

She's never before felt a need to declare she aKshUaLly smells really, really amazing, OKAY???

 

[Magicat]

Source

 

[obsdj]

I have gigantic throbbing Motion to Quash blue balls over here.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I just like the form factor, that way I can fit up to 4 in my butt (depending on what I've eaten)

I agree that this phone is a better candidate for rectal insertion than even the cheapest Nokia.

 

[Hitman One]

You may have seen his ghoulish, verminous features and be wondering. Well, the answer is yes, he is jewish.