random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Tablet County]

"The Devil Sneeds Pizza"

The dances were a mixture of genuinely impressive acrobatics and unintentional comedy. They'd flop around on the floor like they were being fucked by a ghost.

A fat black stripper came up on stage once and everyone left except me and like one other dude. I stayed because I felt bad watching everyone flee in obvious repulsion. This is when I knew I wasn't actually racist or sexist

 

[Gentlebastard]

Ah yes, technicalities like "overwhelming physical evidence" and "unassailable facts".

Thank goodness this isn't an actual real event that really happened.

we always assumed you were a hoe, but FFS, Destiny?!

This feels like one of those become ungovernable memes.

This fucking mongoloid, holy shit. That D or whatever he got in history really speaks for itself.

The drawing with "always goon" lmao, lack of self awareness or legitimate troll?

The Internet is a weird and whacky place. Play carefully, and don't troonj out

I shouldn't have to say that, but here we are.

While others wrote passable sci-fi I studied the blade. Enjoy the riposte, stalker child.

 

[Axiom.]

Zoey's posts are starting to slightly disgust me
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What kind of people does Zoey associate with?
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Zoey vampire arc
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What's happening to Florida weather these days?
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"i don't know how im surviving this because im periodmaxxing but i guess im just goated"

 

[30+GameOvers]

Imagine having a mini keemstar up your butt. A keemstar up your keester, if you will.

 

[Drip Torch]

Can't even build Legos you dunce.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Objection: hearsay. God must testify Himself.

I'd fully considered leaving the book at a bus station, but I didn't want to take the chance some bum would read it, get depressed, and throw himself in front of a moving train. I don't need that death on my conscious or the bad karma.

Seventeen is legal in most places and also it's not clear that the venmo transactions were for sex. I venmo people all the time and I haven't fucked them.

They're just like you and me.

Being the boss man is also much less fun when you can't stare out at the people who have to obey you.

Lolcows never learn. Vaush, the retard who lost it all accidentally showing his loli and horse cock porn on stream had the balls to stream recently criticizing Destiny's cum-slurping and buttplugging, meanwhile who gets off to shortstop goblin rape??? Just pretend embarrassing thing never happened

Imagine being such a pussy that you're afraid of Jesse Singal.

 

[Gog & Magog]

I don't mind a sad ending, but there's an uncomfortable middle ground where it's decent enough that I do care but not so good that it's rich, if that makes sense? Written well enough to be genuinely sad without being moving enough to make the sad feel meaningful. Cruel.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

Sending death threats to J. K. Rowling is to troons as musical theatre is to gay men - they may not all be obsessed with it but it's undeniably an important element of their culture.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I was at a party once and somebody was in a bathroom taking the loudest most vile shit I've ever smelled and I was like who the fuck is in there it must be some big fat fuck who only eats toxic goyslop but then a very attractive 90 pound latina walked out and I've never been able to look at them the same way again.

 

[Pedophobe]

I have found no greater online community than this forum, united in an interest that truly transcends all boundaries and distinctions between people: laughing at weirdos.

It's very wholesome and very retarded at the same time.

Fucking hell, this thread might actually be one of my greatest life accomplishments...sadly...

 

[Meiwaku]

Every woman I meet locally is like a schizophrenic fortune cookie.

I know he’s legit retarded, but I’m always taken aback by how dumb he is.

We have all the evidence we need to prove he is a danger to kids:

1.) he’s a tranny
2.)

I do discriminate but only because it's funny.

Israel sucks but watching trannies mald over their favorite terrorist organizer dying does bring joy to me

At this point I say excuse me to the client grab the nigger masher 3000 and tuck it into my beltline.

another case of liberals being better at creating a completely white ethnostate than actual racists

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https://archive.is/wip/UK7wH

 

[JustSomeDong]

This reads like parody, but we live in clown world so I'll assume he's being serious.

 

[CallmeCicada]

i am a real woman, my cats love me

https://embed.kiwifarms.st/members/saladfingy05.176058/page-2#profile-post-comment-617317

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Oh, look. She taught her cat how to cook himself under a heat lamp.

 

[Rotollo 2]

Also it all makes sense, Tardski was the shota in this situation

 

[Aunt Carol]

Just go on grindr. How autistic are you? I'm not even gay and even I know that.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

*rent lowering gunshot except she shoots a zoophile's penis at a dog*

 

[Tablet County]

I win because my picture looks cooler and I am objectively correct.

 

[invisibult plus+]

For every gain, there is a loss, so for the emotional self-knowledge you have gained, what have you lost? Have you felt yourself getting any worse at video games recently?

 

[DickMain]

so I'm researching gay websites and subreddits to learn what gay men do for sex

Find another dick to stick your butthole in. Mine's not available.