random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Law]

You'll never see a tickling fetishist speak to an inflation fetishist, or a fart fetishist talking to a quicksand fetishist.

 

[AssignedEva]

Stefanie what does 'financially electrocuted' mean please?

 

[Tablet County]

Might I interest you in GURPS, a system for people who will definitely never have sex?

Psssst. The Elites don't want you to know about this but death of the author is free, and you can make up whatever interpretation you want I have 538 Fascist interpretations of ostensibly left wing works at home.

I don't want to play an unironic Turner Diaries RP,

The second session of my Rogue Trader campaign got massively derailed. When they docked at Footfall I gave a throwaway line about them getting commed by Praneesh from "Mechanicus support", calling to inform them that their cogitator had unhappy machine spirit. They promptly dropped all their other plans and embarked on a quest to track down the call center and massacre the scammers with a squad of Ogryn.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Like a good Italian boy I had a gold chain with a crucifix. She used to make me keep it on while I banged her.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

If a pedo troon falls off of a building and no one is around, does it make a sound?

Bigots just don't understand the gender euphoria you get when you murder-rape

Nothing is more truly female than defeating a grown man in hand-to-hand combat and decapitating him.

I did not know Santa Mario was a thing. I don't know how to feel about it.

All the powers of darkness will not save you when you make a woman feel the ick

>get stabbed
>fucking lame
>can't even go into the kitchen because scared of knives
>get counselling
>turn up for first session
>it's some guy fondling a knife

Off topic, but Null is having another one of his episodes in the Donald Trump thread.

They're retards, Julius.

 

[Tablet County]

I am going to sacrifice you to @Hollywood Hulk Hogan so that we may have a bountiful harvest. Enjoy Hulkamania, child.

>tfw you'll never have a disgusting moon face

 

[grenouille crétine]

From PhilosophyTube’s new Nebula slop, script typed up by quoted user, emphasis added:

Bella: Everybody drinks somebody's blood. He bleeds customers for tips. His boss bleeds him for shitty wages. Children feed on their parents. Children LITERALLY feed on their parents! They be sucking at the titty! That's same shit different colour. Old people feed on the government. Women feed on men for money, and men feed on women for sex.

Bella: (continues to have a theatrically loud fake orgasm while the other diners all look over in disgust) Ffffuck... Didi... (Fay slaps Bella across the face)

 

[Drip Torch]

With women, you are always picking a flavour of crazy. The question you have to ask yourself is….what kind of crazy compliments my kind of autism? How much do I need to tolerate and does the good outweigh the bad?

 

[demicolon]

British Intelligence - putting the moron in the oxymoron.

 

[Turkroach Couple]

She has no mobility issues, unless you count not being able to move the fuck out.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Laura Loomer now looms over the thunderdome, much like she looms in photos, looms in our nightmares, and looms over Donald Trump's withered pud. She'll also loom in all our minds as we vote for the orange man president. If Trump wins her presence will loom over the entire US political system and therefore the world, as has always been her bloodline's calling (I mean because their family name is Loomer, not because they're jewish, but probably that too).

 

[Laburnum]

THEY LITERALLY JERK OFF ANIMALS TO COLLECT SEMEN. PLEASE EDUCATE YOURSELF

Thanks @Barry Williams

 

[TheRetardKing]

Death by Autism

 

[CEO of Gay]

Last I checked the balls and the anus are two different things.

if i starve to death i'll let you know.

I am one of the most knowledgeable experts on women you will ever come across anywhere in this universe

 

[Catch The Rainbow]

In a way Jewish women were the original trannies

 

[Topaz Eyes]

This could have been a fight between eighteen naked cowboys in a shower and it wouldn't have been any less gay.

 

[Windy Moors]

Does he have an anime boobies mouse pad?????

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Okay, this guy kinda pisses me off. You put respect on Itaru Hinoue's name you sub-human waste of biomatter.

 

[Wodanaz]

the last time I did, I came in less than a second. No I am not joking. I know what "less than a second" literally means, and I know what the word 'literally' means, and yes I literally ejaculated in less than a second the last time this has happened

if you look at my profile, one of my posts got over 200 reacts because I talked about my hardcore no-lust practice (including looking away if I see an attractive woman on any screen anywhere at any time; including not eating spicy foods before bed and sleeping in certain positions to prevent wet dreams)

my no-lust-whatsoever practice has affected me so much that I started getting mild erections whenever I saw women like Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, and Michelle Obama on screen, so basically these days I just look away whenever ANY woman comes into my field of vision (irl or on a screen)

 

[Snusmumriken]

is it okay if we text you questions about stinks? How bad on a scale of 1-Indian food does he smell? Is this still your number (504-373-9112)? it’d be nice to catch up

you really think someone would do that? just go on the internet and draw some caked up kids?