r/childfree - Where child-haters congregate

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I actually agree, I've always had the perspective that extended family is extremely important and the nuclear family without grand parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. is unstable.

A lot of the problems we see with families in culture at this time, all relate to single parent homes or unstable 2 parent homes where, say, the parents are too young or something. A lot of problems just go away when you have the extended family involved and everyone is watching out for one another.

I've seen IRL that people with the worst personal problems come mostly from homes where, either, their parents got divorced, or they were just straight up raised by a single mom. Raising a kid is hard work, and much harder alone.
Personally and evident in a lot of cultures, extended families tend to be the more stable. You got an immediate support system and all. While not all extended families are stable, they're at least less susceptible to the issues you find in nuclear households. Nuclear families tend to work if both the finance and bonding is there, but that is hard to achieve.
 
Maybe it's a suburban family thing, the white side of my family and my husbands family are really big and close. Both are from the rural south. Spending time after school or over the summer with cousins, or aunts and uncles wasn't uncommon.
It's more of an urban bugman thing.
Both are correct. I have always found white people are more independent than people of color in California unless they're from a rural area or small town/community. In the suburbs and cities white people can easily be cast as the all American family from the suburbs featured in movies or T.V. The only difference is the time period and technology. While colored people are more than likely to be more tight-knit, bilingual, religious and living in communities with others like themselves.

It's a huge difference where a white couple might wait to have children, if they do have their own biological children, not adoption or "furbabies". While colored people have children young as teens or young adults and have a lot of them that the schools are overloaded with them. And when times get tough they have relatives and neighbors from their community to help them out, while whites who have been more independent find themselves lost and alone because they've been raised to be more self-reliant that they're not accustomed to how a colored family will work with their relatives to survive while white people only choice is going through the state, if at that. I know religion has a bad rap but better church than nothing. At least they have food and community.
 
I've seen IRL that people with the worst personal problems come mostly from homes where, either, their parents got divorced, or they were just straight up raised by a single mom.

No matter how good a mother is, she cannot, by herself, provide a positive male role model to a male child. It's impossible. There's a reason single mother households have such horrible outcomes.
 
If all the environmental conscious people have no kids, then the only people in the next generation are going to be people who think Global Warming is a Jewish Hoax caused by 5G radiation. Way to hand off the keys to the future to the people who will do the exact opposite of what you fight for.
That's not how movements and messages work. If that were true then the SJW movement would have died with the proto SJW cat ladies 40 years ago instead of becoming the ugly monster ripping apart society today.
I've always found the "childfree" trend to be a white people thing. Why is that?

r/childfree is full of photos and screencaps of white people. Why are mostly just the white people being such pussies about "feeling pressured to have kids"? "Muh stuff muh free time muh games muh wine" etc.

I feel like it's especially full of women who think popping out a kid is "patriarchy" and all the men in there give me a creepy deadbeat dad vibe.
Well we've had a long period of media demonizing being white, which has become overt in the last decade, and arguably the widespread racism against whites, coupled with the internet turning molehills into fucking PLANETS and a generation+ raised with technology encouraging narcicism, cosmopolitan hedonism, mindless consumerism, and social isolation VIA the closure of IRL hangouts in favor of social media. All that mixed together creates a huge class of self hating white people who have no idea how to handle their emotions nor their stunted maturity, some show this by rioting in the streets in the name of "black lives matter", others show it by passively seething on reddit at the mere act of reproducing and the depraved depths of their own biological urges.
 
As a CF person, the worst thing about CF groups is the oblivious behaviour of the righteous, it's just another cult.

I originally joined CF groups to talk about the pressure put on people for not having children, the family support that is no longer there when people finally realise that children are not in your future, and connect with people that have the same personal/hobby interests.

The last thing I want to see is photos of baby shit explosions, and the disgusting things people do with their pregnancy leftovers BUT that is what makes up the majority of CF groups. That and people whinging about absolutely normal parent and child behaviour, which luckily in some groups the OP is quite often called out on, and there will be a reprieve of that behaviour.

Honestly I think what is happening in the CF groups is the same as every other group. They are infested with people who more interested in playing games, than being productive members of their communities. They were brought up behind a screen, they have no idea how to interact with others, which is isolating parents who before all this bullshit would have more help from friends and relatives. Help from people that chose not to have children but were still happy enough to put their hands up to help their friends and relatives that do. Then it just goes around in a circle, and communities fracture even further, everyone is trying to one up each other, and no one is happy with anything any longer.
 
Help from people that chose not to have children but were still happy enough to put their hands up to help their friends and relatives that do. Then it just goes around in a circle, and communities fracture even further, everyone is trying to one up each other, and no one is happy with anything any longer.
I couldn't agree more I'm also not having children for a number of reasons. Now that my friends are starting to have kids I've noticed them being surprised on more than one occasion when friends and family have stepped in to "help". Like... this is how it's supposed to be. This is normal, or at least it used to be.
 
I've always found the "childfree" trend to be a white people thing. Why is that?

r/childfree is full of photos and screencaps of white people. Why are mostly just the white people being such pussies about "feeling pressured to have kids"? "Muh stuff muh free time muh games muh wine" etc.

I feel like it's especially full of women who think popping out a kid is "patriarchy" and all the men in there give me a creepy deadbeat dad vibe.
Don't forget there's been a growing trend of population decline in Japan and South Korea as people have become very career focused.
 
Don't forget there's been a growing trend of population decline in Japan and South Korea as people have become very career focused.
That's called the demographic transition and happens to every country over a certain degree of wealth. The USA is also below replacement fertility, they just don't notice it as much because people keep coming over the southern border so the population keeps growing.

The gap between the USA and Japan isn't that big (1.7 v 1.4), but South Korea is truly extraordinarily low (1.0) because decent property is incredibly expensive there and a lot of people use private tuition, so the expected costs of child rearing are pretty high.
 
That's called the demographic transition and happens to every country over a certain degree of wealth. The USA is also below replacement fertility, they just don't notice it as much because people keep coming over the southern border so the population keeps growing.

The gap between the USA and Japan isn't that big (1.7 v 1.4), but South Korea is truly extraordinarily low (1.0) because decent property is incredibly expensive there and a lot of people use private tuition, so the expected costs of child rearing are pretty high.

In Singapore I hear it's REALLY bad.
 
Vary big brained take.
I'm beginning to suspect thinking beyond ones selfish DNA spreading desires is just so advanced that 90% of the human population can't fathom it. There are countless people who are widely regarded as "genius" in history who still weren't smart enough to figure out creating life isn't a good thing. Think about that. We might as well be aliens frowning at what the wild animals of Earth are doing.
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In Singapore I hear it's REALLY bad.
It is, almost as low as South Korea with a fertility rate of 1.1. The same issues about very high cost of living and child rearing apply, except they have massive immigration so the population is still growing. They basically run like a Gulf Arab state without the oil, using foreigners for their dirty work.
 
Both the original CF and the monster it became seem like places only really pathetic people go. Feeling pressure to have kids? Lmfao, weak.
Not in the childfree lifestyle but there is pressure on my wife and I to have kids.

Mostly from her mother.

My mother-in-law is the kind of woman that won't view my wife as an adult until we have kids. Prior to that it was marriage but once we got married dear old mom-in-law just moved the goalposts.
Personally I don't much like the woman but I put up with her for my wife's sake. It isn't as if we're not trying, but these sorts of things take time - not that she seems to care.

In a nutshell I suppose that the intrusive questions and hurry-up attitude feels like meddling to me. I really hate external meddling in my marriage. No qualms with children, but my mother-in-law needs to butt out.
I would posit that that's also the rationale for the more infantile types, just with extremely backwards priorities. Instead of trying to establish healthy boundaries for a pushy mother-in-law it's trying to run away from adult responsibility and live like the cast of Friends or Sienfeld or whatever sitcom is in vogue with the 105IQ crowd at Reddit

Having children is a big undertaking that shouldn't be taken lightly but running from any kind of responsibility or accountability is just weak. When you grow up, you put your childish things away.
 
Parents wanting grand kids is pretty common. What I don't believe is when the redditors on r/childfree complain about random strangers approaching them and asking why they don't have kids yet.
Not in the childfree lifestyle but there is pressure on my wife and I to have kids.

Mostly from her mother.

My mother-in-law is the kind of woman that won't view my wife as an adult until we have kids. Prior to that it was marriage but once we got married dear old mom-in-law just moved the goalposts.
Personally I don't much like the woman but I put up with her for my wife's sake. It isn't as if we're not trying, but these sorts of things take time - not that she seems to care.

In a nutshell I suppose that the intrusive questions and hurry-up attitude feels like meddling to me. I really hate external meddling in my marriage. No qualms with children, but my mother-in-law needs to butt out.
I would posit that that's also the rationale for the more infantile types, just with extremely backwards priorities. Instead of trying to establish healthy boundaries for a pushy mother-in-law it's trying to run away from adult responsibility and live like the cast of Friends or Sienfeld or whatever sitcom is in vogue with the 105IQ crowd at Reddit

Having children is a big undertaking that shouldn't be taken lightly but running from any kind of responsibility or accountability is just weak. When you grow up, you put your childish things away
 
As somebody who is hardcore childfree, r/childfree is childfree softcore, childfree PC addition, or childfree lite addition just don't hurt lurking mommies' fee-fees.

There are a lot of "I am not like those other parents" or I am a just fencesitter membership on that sub.

The true blue childfree are on various Facebook groups where invading mommies get the hammer.
 
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As somebody who is hardcore childfree, r/childfree is childfree softcore, childfree PC addition, or childfree lite addition just don't hurt lurking mommies' fee-fees.

There are a lot of "I am not like those other parents" or I am a just fencesitter membership on that sub.

The true blue childfree are on various Facebook groups where invading mommies get the hammer.
Show us on the doll where the crotchfruit touched you
 
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