Questions for the Morris Family - Harry Morris has finally been pushed too far and is ready to wage war with the Gunt. His daughter, Alanna, has challenged Ethan Ralph to a street fight which will leave him with a new, matching googly eye. We have questions.

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Pit Viper Salesman

Pit Viper Salesman

Formerly Christorian X.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 6, 2022
Hello Harry and Alanna! I would say welcome to the Farms but I suspect you've been lurking here before and have likely heard a great deal about us and our fearless leader "DAT GOT DAM JERSH-U-A MEWN!!!!!". We hope your visit is a pleasant one.

Now that it seems the gloves are off and you're ready to join in the fun I thought this might be a great place to start.

Before I begin, if you decide to answer (we really hope you do, either to satisfy our curiosity or to make the rage pig squeal) I would highly encourage reaching out to one of our mods so that you can be verified in order to avoid imposters and bogus answers. We want the real deal and nothing else. Accept no substitutes. I'd recommend @REGENDarySumanai or @AltisticRight .

Now that that's out of the way, any answers you could provide to the following would be greatly appreciated:

It's clear that Ralph operates very much outside of the law when it comes to his financial status. Here are some questions:

1) To your knowledge, what percentage of his donations are faked or self made in order to make his show seem successful?
a) How often does he have May send them from the next room?

2) Can you give us insight to his general financial management?
a) savings? if any
b) general credit score?
c) Debt? How much?

3) Gambling
a) losses
b) frequency

4) Peaceful Sunset Productions, LLC.
a) How is money run through this?

5) Assets
a) Where is the truck? He needs the title to take it into Mexico. Do you have it?
b) Has he mentioned attempting to hide assets or money in Amanda's name?
c) Has he mentioned any plans for the crackshack at 532 Lois Marie Cv, West Memphis, AR 72301
1) Dick Masterson
a) Would you trust this man around your granddaughter? daughter?
b) Same question regarding his friends Vito and MrGirl.
c) Are you aware of JuJu the Cow?

2) Nick Fuentes
a) Has Ralph made any comment on Nick's true sexuality?
b) What are Ralph's opinions of Nick in general?
c) What are Ralph's true ambitions within AF / Cozy?
d) Any good dirt in general?

3) America First / Cozy - General dirt on:
a) Baked Alaska
b) Beardson
c) Ali Jamal
d) Bibble
e) Big Tech
f) Ella Maulding

4) Holland Proudfoot - Alice
a) Do you believe he raped her?
b) How complicit was May in the rape you just agreed he committed?

5) Hookers
a) Black or black?
b) Frequency

1) Ailements
a) Long term conditions - Diabeetus, heart disease, alcohol induced Cushings, sleep apnea, etc?
b) addictions - please list
c) Loose bowels? Gaseous, liquid or solid?
d) Mental impairment - Many have speculated that his mental faculties have greatly declined over the last year, please confirm

2) Phsyical stats
a) Height
b) likely weight
c) Bifurcation - any explanation would be helpful

Aside from those, just a few I am personally interested in:

1) We know little to nothing about Ronnie Ralph. Could you please share anything he may have let slip.

2) Is Ethan COVID vaccinated?

3) Alanna - Has Ralph hit on you? Assuming the answer is yes, how often and how much of your amazon wishlist has he purchased?

4) How hard did each of you laugh during Portugal 1 & 2?

5) Are you aware Ralph may have made Amanda complicit in felonies when she mailed Faith's journal to Ethan Hatchett / The Daiymo?

6) Harry - Could you give us some explanation on this:

ezgif-4-ddb29b7726.jpg
 
How does it feel knowing that a 5'1" obese white trash drug addict procreated with your daughter?

How do you feel about the fact that she's into animated child porn?
 
Christorian X, I mean Pit Viper Salesman is Matthew Vickers Personal Simp. Your Questions are exactly what Matthew Vickers would ask for his continuing LOLsuit against the Gunt. Hey if you get your answers that's good for content I am sure.

Pit Viper Sales Man Said
It's clear that Ralph operates very much outside of the law when it comes to his financial status. Here are some questions:

1) To your knowledge, what percentage of his donations are faked or self made in order to make his show seem successful?
a) How often does he have May send them from the next room?

2) Can you give us insight to his general financial management?
a) savings? if any
b) general credit score?
c) Debt? How much?

3) Gambling
a) losses
b) frequency

4) Peaceful Sunset Productions, LLC.
a) How is money run through this?

5) Assets
a) Where is the truck? He needs the title to take it into Mexico. Do you have it?
b) Has he mentioned attempting to hide assets or money in Amanda's name?
c) Has he mentioned any plans for the crackshack at 532 Lois Marie Cv, West Memphis, AR 72301




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The rules about interfering in Cows personal life are being bent to the extreme. Your Vickers gay op's are stupid. and I just want to call it out for what it is. That being said maybe we all get a laugh for once from your Gay Ops .
 
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i'm curious if the ashes of either ronnie or sandra ralph have been discarded at the morris residence?
 
Dear Mr. Morris,

Thank you very much for making me laugh today. My favorite part was when Ralph, on the verge of tears, mushed a sandwich in his mouth after you broke his toy bow. I don't care if you answer any questions because everyone likes a good mystery. I see you retweet a lot of political tweets about how US politics is a shitshow, which it is. I hope it does not make you too angry but I am glad that you have found a productive outlet for that anger.

Sincerely,

Some Asshole on the Internet
 
Christorian X is back. And gayer than ever.

What part of just "watch and laugh" makes it so difficult? You were so starved for ralph content you saw this and started shooting ropes of cum to the thought of doing a KF interview with them? So stupid.
 
Hey Ethan Ralph, it's me Pit Viper Salesman,

Before I get into the meat of it I'm just going to set the mask down for a few minutes and set aside any grinning and winking. I laugh at you Ralph and I really like doing it. You're a legitimate source of entertainment for me. Mos of this come's from your refusal to ever accept any reality that disagrees with the image you're desperate to portray to the rest of the world. Like I tell people ask me why I follow your story, its because narratively speaking you embody the literal definition of a theatrical comedy. You actively reject every naturally occurring good thing the world presents you in exchange for the most base, ID driven and usually degenerate choice possible. Shakespeare would be in awe of your story. You are unmatched as a protagonist in this regard.

If I were to bring this into modern times, it's like you're on a permanent casting call for Jerry Springer and Maury Povich without being aware their shows exist. This isn't kayfabe, it's not a put on, its a perfect collision of "Main Character Syndrome", "The Streisand Effect" and "Napoleon Complex". You're a Bad Guy Wrestler come to life. Done right, it can be amazing like Andy Kaufman. Unfortunately you actually believe the character you're playing is the real you. Is it because of a steady decline in your ability to exist in and manage relationships in the outside world? Did the death of your parents send a shock to your system forcing to the surface a giant host of unresolved issues you were never able to deal with in regards to them before they died? Have the drugs, alcohol and sleep apnea taking their mental toll on you? Could it be all of it combined and more? Most likely.

You're probably asking yourself why I'm writing all this. You're probably oscillating between anger, self-aggrandizement, and a host of other reactionary emotions. I'll cut to the chase. Up until a few months ago, this was fun. It's only gotten more fun for me, but it's been getting fucking terrible for you. I know, I know, you're going to say you have a great life and I'm jealous. Buddy. It's getting bad. It's getting to the point people are going to get hurt and things are going to happen that can't be undone. You may wonder why I give a shit at all. My response is based in selfishness, both yours and mine.

In the vein of my selfishness I'm motivated to want my favorite show to stay on the air and not jump the shark. I want to see all the story arcs come to their natural and best conclusions throughout a long and well developed story. I want to laugh at you for years to come. I want watch you in a few years miserably at school musicals annoying the other parents around you. I want to see you get bullied on the internet into actually marrying May when she inevitably hits her breaking point and threatens to leave and hit you with a second child support. I want to see you try and hold more ridiculous IRL events, losing your temper on Dick Masterson, staging a coup on America First, doing more smug wigger dancing and all those great sweeps weeks episodes.

Regarding your self interest, I would hope its pretty clear. You have a fiancée, two children and a streaming career that is hanging by a very very thin thread due to ever increasing number of platforms. If Cozy/Af implodes (which is becoming more and more possible by the day) your opportunity to maintain your lifestyle doing what you do now is very much at risk. Beyond that, look at whats happening now. You have family in your home as its continuously swatted, yce=c&extensionid=&gclid=CjwKCAjwkMeUBhBuEiwA4hpqELJug29xODY4nbGqiekjevRrQfl78dnOHvU8AhwDBpI8OWhMDDGRou've been the target of two bomb threats, one of which on the literal Supreme Court stairs, assaulted multiple times, etc. It's to the point that literally everywhere you go you're afraid and paranoid.

Ralph, you're generating this. You keep threatening people, you keep trying to destroy others for an own, in short you keep attracting and demanding negative attention. You keep upping the stakes hoping that if you just escalate a little farther you'll win because no one else is willing to go as low as you (your words). Ralph. There will always be someone willing to go lower. All this brings us to today.

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We've finally gotten here. Defcon 1. You're kicking open the door and literally asking for the world to come pouring in at you in any dark, terrible manner they can. Not just at you, but your family, your work, your "friends" (Nick is already having a bad time). I truly don't think you understand the scope of what you're saying. Again, I say this partially out of selfishness as I don't want this great story to end in some nightmare scenario. No matter how shitty you may be, painting targets for nuclear warn on yourself and family so you can justify doing that to others is not the way to go.

I suppose I am writing this so that it can never be said that someone didn't directly circle, underline and highlight this as the moment you and everyone else will look back to and say, "this is what lead to this horrible event."

I stand firmly against swatting, violence, and most illegal acts in general. No one, even you should have to spend every day of your life scared and afraid of what might happen next. Thats not living and its an easy way to ruin my good time as well.

Perhaps I have a darker and more malicious imagination than most. Maybe I'm just a bit more creative. So far though everything thats happened in this little war between you and the rest of the world is penny ante shit in the grand scheme of things.

Do you know what this is Ralph?

Whatever you do, don't click here​


It's a mailing list maker Ralph. The specs you see preloaded there is a list of every residential address in a CSV format for ease of mail merges in a 1 mile radius of your current residents. For the low price of $250 someone could have a list of everyone who lives near you within a mile. Oh...and their email addresses if they want to tack on just a few bucks. Using that list and spending less than what you make in a stream or two, someone could literally mass mail the entire list with literally anything.

I'll admit it very honestly. I am capable of being a really shitty and cruel person. The difference is, while I have he ability to think of shitty things, I won't actually do them. I don't endorse them or encourage them either. This isn't tongue and cheek. This isn't winking and nodding. This isn't me being facetious. I am simply trying to cut through the shit and make a point here.

You think you can outsmart the rest of the world, or perhaps you tell yourself there is nothing someone could do that could deter you. I'm trying to tell you that so far, what's occurred is a tickle. Anyone with $15 and a belief that you've gone too far can pull the background report on not just you, but all your family, May, her family, her two siblings, her mother, father, grandparents, etc. Every time to escalate its been proven the world lowers itself to the challenge. How many more people are you willing to pull into this war? Is a win still a win as you stand on the destruction of everything you have left?

For all that you hold dear Ralph, this is the world parting the clouds and shining down upon your trying to say you're walking down a path where there will no longer be any winners, just crueler and crueler losers. Stop ruining my show, man. Lets go back to somewhere no ones life gets ruined but we all get to have fun being assholes and laughing.

Your friendly neighborhood A-log,

Pit Viper Salesman
 
I have one very important question for May's parents... Is it true that every time Ralph takes a step a tuba jingle plays?
 
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