PPP vs. Ethan Ralph (MMA match) - Failed to materialize

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Ladies and guntleman, the sequel to the fight that never happened. PPP - weighing in at 350 pounds standing at 6'4 - versus Ethan Ralph - about 250 pounds and registered in the Virginia correctional system as being 5'1. Ralph will get at least $8000 for just showing up.

THE CHECKLIST
:disagree: VENUE
- :agree: Ralph suggests LA and Knoxville, PPP and Godwinson suggest LV, but PPP agrees to any venue at any city.
- :disagree: Tara LaRosa refuses to help, but Ralph now claims he has other contacts in the industry.
- :agree: Ralph claims he will have no issue passing a health inspection and his felony doesn't matter. Forum users seem to agree.
- :disagree: Godwinson wants it shirtless but Ralph says that's up to the venue.
- :disagree: The venue is not actually chosen.
- :agree: PPP no longer holds conditions on broadcasting rights.

:disagree: ESCROW
- :agree: Ralph agrees to the £5.000 + $1,900 USD as a showing up prize.
- :agree: All parties demand an escrow.
- :disagree: Escrow holder not chosen, but people now seem to agree Rekieta is an acceptable escrow holder.
- :disagree: Contracts have not been written up yet.

PPP'S TERMS
1. The fight CAN NOT be in Knoxville.
PPP now agrees to any location.

2. No exclusive streaming rights should go to the Killstream
PPP now agrees to let Ralph monetize the fight in any way he pleases.

3. Ralph's "showing up" money must be held in escrow.
PPP is concerned of Jewish tricks and wants the money held by someone reputable until a fight is conducted.

Otherwise, PPP does not care about regulation or country. He will agree to any format in any land, foreign or domestic, regulated or behind an Arby's.


ETHAN RALPH'S TERMS
1. The fight must have production value.
He agrees to Knoxville, LA, and now Vegas (Godwinson's suggestion). He wants there to be production value and is unapologetic about seeing this as a money making opportunity.

2. A live panel representing the #Killstream must be available.
He leaves it up to negotiations with the venue if a clean stream of footage with no commentary will be available.

3. The money must be held in escrow and the payment must be contracted.

GODWINSONS'S TERMS
1. The fight must be shirtless.
For Godwinson to pay out the £5.000, he wants the fight shirtless. Ralph says this is up to the venue, not him.


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100% serious


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Ralph accepted


if this shit doesn't happen fuck the internet and fuck this board, i'm going back to fat women and schizos permanently


PPP backtracks on all his terms and is agreeing to do it under any condition.
 
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My money is on PPP because unlike Ralph, he actually has to get up to go to work regularly along with the height difference. Ralph sits at home all day getting drunk, PPP is fat but at least he has working muscles.
 
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This has to happen, I offer up 20,000 rupees to see PPP smash the gunt!

Also both PPP and Godwinson want the fight in Vegas.
 
I think the alcohol and meth have finally rotted Ralph’s brain enough to think he could take on someone both fatter and taller than him.

100 Coach Coins on PPP.
 
Good idea to have this thread, will make it harder for either of them to chicken out once all conditions for both sides are met.
 
God just imagine if everything is set up, contracts signed and notarized, stage ready and Ralph pulls a Tonka and doesn't show. After all the shit talking talking he's done over the last... Shit, almost two years? Fucking amazing.
 
Arm Pit Cream said:
My money is on PPP because unlikely Ralph, he actually has to get up to go to work regularly along with the height difference. Ralph sits at home all day getting drunk, PPP is fat but at least he has working muscles.
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PPP also has the Lord, God Almighty, on his side, and I've heard word he has been eating nothing but Surfers porkchops laced with Human Growth Hormone in order to "stunt the gunt". Assumedly in reference to giving Ralph brain damage to the extent that he is permanently mentally stunted.
 
Yolo Swaggins said:
PPP suggested Las Vegas not LA
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Rules around fights are pretty well regulated in Vegas. Doubt there's much advantage over TN.

When we wanted to do something off book, we would just drive to Mexico. Either head for San Diego or southern Arizona.
 
Arm Pit Cream said:
My money is on PPP because unlikely Ralph, he actually has to get up to go to work regularly along with the height difference. Ralph sits at home all day getting drunk, PPP is fat but at least he has working muscles.
Click to expand...
if PPP and Godwinson are smart enough they could just bet on PPP with even odds and double their money. so that in the end they get $20,000 and Ralph gets $20,000 and neither has to put any actually money up for the fight
 
2020Suicide said:
if PPP and Godwinson are smart enough they could just bet on PPP with even odds and double their money. so that in the end they get $20,000 and Ralph gets $20,000 and neither has to put any actually money up for the fight
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Odds are even if the fight is even. A broker would not make the odds on this 50/50.
 
6'4 vs 5'1?

If at all true, Ethan, you have done fucked up bud. PPP will bring down holy wrath with hammer fists of justice and a righteous guntslam to deliver the killing-blow.
 
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