Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

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Wallace said:
It's not a coincidence that poly is popular with autistic nerds who have some serious hangups about what relationships should be like, with the occasional manipulative asshole thrown in.
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Many of these nerds are also programmers. If we make the perfect program, designing around feminist ideals, and input the right variables, we should be able to execute relationship.exe. There will be social validation and having lots of sex with lots of hot people with the benefits of monogamy.

Reality has external factors you can't account for and internal emotions that don't go away because they're not acceptable to your program. That post before of someone confessing that they realize jealousy is a form of self-love is telling. Like you said, throw in the occasional asshole and there's just bugs you can't get rid of.
 
Wallace said:
It's not a coincidence that poly is popular with autistic nerds who have some serious hangups about what relationships should be like, with the occasional manipulative asshole thrown in. They lack the emotional intelligence to be able to handle such situations.
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Maybe more simple than that. They’re too desperate to give up their gf so they accept being cucked.

I guess I’ll do a story time too.
Friend in college who was an anime figurine collecting nerd. Had one girlfriend once and was very desperate in and after college. Meets a girl, and she fucks his best friend right before the first date. Bad sign obviously. End up dating and moving in together. She goads him into opening up their relationship. She fucks another one of his friends in their apartment. Makes him pay for the bull’s health insurance and essentially boards him too. Several years later he has had enough. Break up. Word comes out about all the manipulative shit she did and all the controlling stipulations she had over his life. He still hasn’t found another gf several more years later but now he’s happy again.
 
Wallace said:
It's based upon the assumption that sex is no big deal, just rubbing your respective bits against each other and feeling good, and that no emotional entanglement will come of it. That way, you can add sex to your existing friendships, and nothing changes. For obvious reasons, this doesn't work.

It also allows them to pin the blame on the other party when they get angry about the affair. If A is in a relationship with B and A wants to open the relationship to fuck C, then B has two choices: say no and potentially end the relationship, or say yes and try not to get jealous. When B does get jealous, for reasons described above, suddenly they're the one at fault because they broke the agreement.

It's not a coincidence that poly is popular with autistic nerds who have some serious hangups about what relationships should be like, with the occasional manipulative asshole thrown in. They lack the emotional intelligence to be able to handle such situations.
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I don't see sex as the primary problem with poly--I see the primary problem as time.
There's a finite amount of time you have to devote to relationships. If you only have one partner, they get more time. If you have two, split it, three, split it again. It's going to be basically impossible to give everyone the same amount of time, and no matter how you do it, someone will feel shafted.
 
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https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/8zdmme/i_think_i_need_to_leave_my_primary_would/

TLDR: another perfect good relationship ruined because people can't keep it in their pants
 
Alpha Loves You said:
View attachment 497612View attachment 497613
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/8zdmme/i_think_i_need_to_leave_my_primary_would/

TLDR: another perfect good relationship ruined because people can't keep it in their pants
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So, you were depressed and knew you were depressed, but rather than work on yourself and your relationship, you farmed your partner out to someone else. Without the maintenance, your relationship cooled, and you fell for someone else. Now you're using your partner's side piece as an excuse to ditch.

What I'm saying is, you suck. And if someone chooses to forego fighting their depression, that depression becomes their own fault.
 
From a thread talking about aspergers and polyamory:

I know the feeling well, it's very difficult to live on the spectrum surrounded by those who are not. What makes it even more difficult is that even though we can learn these clues and cues, NTs don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, so all the social skills in the world can't help us if they aren't honest with themselves or others.

The NT world revolves around feelings, and as an Aspie, I find emotion to be a mostly negative thing in people's lives. Sure, it's nice to feel joy, but who wants fear, anger, resentment, sadness and jealousy? A human being is only different than animals in that we can override our primal emotions if we choose to, and the more often we do, the less we are affected by irrational and illogical thought.

Don't beat yourself up over failure to interpret the rules to a game that are contradictory, illogical, and subject to change without notice.
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I hate the idea that having feelings is inherently bad--it's part of being human. And the idea that not being 100% honest all the time is bad--total honesty makes most people seem like jerks, which is one of the reasons dealing with autistic people is aggravating.

Have yourselves another:
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The mother of the child is out at a child-unfriendly autism group twice a week.
 
>autistic poly mother out busy with autism issues and her poly companion many nights of the week
Aka you're being fucking cucked by an aspie and raising her kid. Jesus Christ that is the most pathetic thing I have ever read all year.
 
vertexwindi said:
>autistic poly mother out busy with autism issues and her poly companion many nights of the week
Aka you're being fucking cucked by an aspie and raising her kid. Jesus Christ that is the most pathetic thing I have ever read all year.
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Holy shit I just realized that this is the FATHER of the child posting that.

Fucking cuck. I have absolutely zero sympathy for these people.
 
Crunchy Leaf said:
Here's an awful, awful article about poly people and autism: https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2013/01/poly-and-neurodiversity-how-come.html

Someone on r/polyamory said: 'eh, a huge leap. also, most of the poly people i know aren't "techy, geeky, hackers, etc".'
if you haven't noticed the huge amount of overlap between poly people and nerds, then I don't know what poly circles you're in.
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Yeah, being in a poly relationship with someone that has impaired communication and social interaction skills sounds like a fucking horrible idea.
 
Liquid Cool said:
Holy shit I just realized that this is the FATHER of the child posting that.

Fucking cuck. I have absolutely zero sympathy for these people.
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To me, him being a cuck is not even the primary reason for the lack of sympathy. Actively ruining a child's life like this should be considered child abuse.
 
Peeno Noir said:
To me, him being a cuck is not even the primary reason for the lack of sympathy. Actively ruining a child's life like this should be considered child abuse.
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Thing is, if it was a man running around and trapping his wife at home with a toddler, the whole world would be shrieking about Muh Patriarchy. But because it's the wife doing the running around, it's just "meh, kinda pathetic."
 
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The question on that one is, "If the husband was that much in love with the 'best friend', why did he marry the OP?"

It's a question OP needs to ask herself, because I'm getting a strong vibe of Girl Collector from the husband.
 
God, it feels so fucking good being proven right. First we repealed the sodomy laws, then homo-acceptance aner marriage. From there its been trannys brainwashing kids into cutting their dicks off and widespread media acceptance of pedosexuals. Now, an excuse to fuck around like a slag because you're 'poly.'
Where next will this slippery slope take us? When will you fucking degenerates (yes, you, the average user of this site is a radical liberal concerning things like gender roles and gayness compared to fifty years ago) learn to stop? Only through tradition and drawing the line in the sand can this sickness end. Back to the family, the paterfamilia, mothers and fathers and families, homosexuality back to the dustbin of history.
Doubt me if you like, but I won't weep for you.
 
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