Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

[scathefire]

closed, committed triads

So closed, very committed. wow

 

[Ctrl+Alt+Rt]

Valentine's Day was rough on our little polys.

• One muses about how it's odd that they're "poly but still so lonely" (post history in another forum saying their V-Day was great cuz they got a kiss that was lip-adjacent).

• Another finds that neither of their partners is satisfied with the amount of time they get and both are unhappy having to timeshare – that proves that your multiple partners can still feel they're being treated equally when you're dividing your time between them... equally neglected at least.

• A wife has 3 sexual partners and yet feels neglected and unappreciated – her husband is off banging a new sidechick, her 1st bf moved away, and her 2nd bf is "new to poly" (aka. wants her to himself) – who could predict that adding more people wouldn't lead to more happiness and someone always around when you need them?

• Another girl has got medical condition now where she can't have sex right now and is "going through a rough patch" with depression – her bf's reaction was to run off and fuck a new girl while she's left behind, shaming herself for "not being a good poly person" because she doesn't feel any compersion for them.

• A husband is feeling bitter that the V-Day card he got from his wife was a single line while the one she gave her new bf was 2 pages long and extremely erotic. He's also feeling sexually used, like he provides "a service for her". The best advice the forum can give is that they should be more distant, keep secrets, not share so much, and divert his attention elsewhere while he experiences a "painful readjustment of expectation". Fun!

But let's get to the good stuff.

A whole gaggle of poly baristas from 2 coffee shop kiosks across the road from each other have all lost their jobs and are contemplating suing for DISCRIMINATION, because they consider the poly identity a protected class, like race or gender.

Spoiler: Discrimination Sperging

When you tell your manager "you have nerve to smile at me!" because "he fired my baby" you're proving him right that your relationship affected your professionalism, you utter muppet.

This next one is great because of the comments. He had told his gf that he didn't want to have unprotected sex because it was "special" to him. Then he went for a drunk Tinder hookup and, you guessed it, had that very special unprotected sex with a rando. He feebly said, "I have a condom..." but she continued without one and he said nothing more because "it felt so good". Now he's worried about how to disclose it to his gf.

The comments are trying to convince him that he was RAPED. He even says he doesn't feel that way so he won't tell her that, but they persisted. He's a victim, dammit, no matter what he says! And he's getting this advice from someone who says they have committed assault "many times". I guess that makes them an expert?

Spoiler: I'll Keep Insisting You're A Rape Victim Even If You Say No, Please Stop!

He's not the only one being careless; many polys say they aren't using condoms with their multiple sex partners, and, shockingly, have the herp.

 

[knightlautrec]

It really amazes me that this guy genuinely hasn't a clue what to do when his gf's husband wants to murder him. Like he's really hanging on to the possibility that he could work through this and keep fucking her.

I will eat my hat if G is a legit man. G sounds like a walking tumblr stereotype woman who calls herself nonbinary and has alters probably with associated tumblers for each one. Probably fat too.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Trans people have always been major players in the LGBT acceptance movement, though there are some LGs willing to throw trans/bi people under the bus for their own rights. There's a lot of infighting. But there is some truth in saying that the LGBT movement is strengthened by having more people going to bat for you. No one, and I mean NO ONE, is happy that pedos are trying to claim the LGBT movement as theirs.

On some level, it is pretty offensive that poly people feel the need to "come out" like a gay person might, but there are a decent number of gay people who are also poly. There's also the fact that if, say, they were in a closed triad pursuing the building of a family, sooner or later you'll have to explain to your family why your kids call both Jenny and Sarah "mom" when you originally said Jenny was just a roommate. On the other hand, most people in closed, committed triads don't post on r/polyamory.

The only way I can see polyamory working is if it’s a closed triad and they’re all sleeping with each other. Even then there’d be conflict and the breakup/divorce rate would be higher than monogamous couples.

 

[iafiv]

Poly identity is a thing now???Uh AFAIK fucking more than one person was never really a crime in the US or the Western world in general at least not in the past 100 years or so.If you happen to be in one of these open relationships sure that's your problem but i don't think you've got standing if you demand to be treated like a protected minority.The judge would simply ask 'is there some law that doesn't allow you do to that?'.Most people would probably not care either way.Swinging/wife swapping and other orgy type stuff has been generally tolerated in the US since at least the 60's without it causing too much fuss.That at times some people expressed displeasure with some of it doesn't change the fact that its been happening to a large extent without causing any issue for a long time.I don't see what kind of poly identity someone might legitimately claim as opposed to a gay identity.I doubt anyone was ever murdered in the US in the past 60 years because they were swingers as opposed to someone murdered because they were gay.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

Valentine's Day was rough on our little polys.

• One muses about how it's odd that they're "poly but still so lonely" (post history in another forum saying their V-Day was great cuz they got a kiss that was lip-adjacent).

I then later said thank you for the valentine and she squished my face and then kissed my cheek a centimeter from my mouth. I said wow almost on the lips and she said we’re working up to it.

My first thought was wow, how old is this person? They're actually in high school.

Poly identity is a thing now???Uh AFAIK fucking more than one person was never really a crime in the US or the Western world in general at least not in the past 100 years or so.If you happen to be in one of these open relationships sure that's your problem but i don't think you've got standing if you demand to be treated like a protected minority.The judge would simply ask 'is there some law that doesn't allow you do to that?'.Most people would probably not care either way.Swinging/wife swapping and other orgy type stuff has been generally tolerated in the US since at least the 60's without it causing too much fuss.That at times some people expressed displeasure with some of it doesn't change the fact that its been happening to a large extent without causing any issue for a long time.I don't see what kind of poly identity someone might legitimately claim as opposed to a gay identity.I doubt anyone was ever murdered in the US in the past 60 years because they were swingers as opposed to someone murdered because they were gay.

Adultery still gets you kicked out of the military. Someone got convicted for adultery in Massachusetts in 1983, and they repealed the law against it in 2018. In 2010 a North Carolina woman won a $9 million suit against her husband's mistress under the alienation of affection law. Poly people aren't discriminated against like gay people, but it's false to claim that fucking more than one person has been acceptable in the West since 1919. I mean, you couldn't even get divorced in Ireland until 1995.

 

[MediocreMilt]

Swinging/wife swapping and other orgy type stuff has been generally tolerated in the US since at least the 60's without it causing too much fuss.

Ah, but you see that's what makes these morons so fun. Whatever your thoughts on otherwise monogamous relationships where the partners step outside for no-strings fun....

These people are trying to have multiple committed relationships at one time. It's an absolutely beautiful disaster.

 

[Terrorist]

nobody:
fat goateed poly guy whos a member of mensa and works in IT: "To be fair, it takes a very high IQ to practice polyamory. For example, you might ask, is my prodigiously girthy new partner a man? Or are they a woman? But I say true wisdom is accepting the unknown which lies beneath the fupa."

 

[Wallace]

What do Gays think about all these people attaching themselves to their movement? I have to imagine that not all of them are happy about the movement now being LGBTQ, instead of just LG. Now I hear that some Pedophiles are trying to piggyback onto them as well, There has to be some who disagree with this.

I think it's a complete joke. Being gay doesn't make me unique, special, or important. It makes me attracted to other men. That's it. I've got a whole host of other things going on in my life besides who I hook up with. These clowns? Not so much.

Valentine's Day was rough on our little polys.

• One muses about how it's odd that they're "poly but still so lonely" (post history in another forum saying their V-Day was great cuz they got a kiss that was lip-adjacent).

• Another finds that neither of their partners is satisfied with the amount of time they get and both are unhappy having to timeshare – that proves that your multiple partners can still feel they're being treated equally when you're dividing your time between them... equally neglected at least.

• A wife has 3 sexual partners and yet feels neglected and unappreciated – her husband is off banging a new sidechick, her 1st bf moved away, and her 2nd bf is "new to poly" (aka. wants her to himself) – who could predict that adding more people wouldn't lead to more happiness and someone always around when you need them?

• Another girl has got medical condition now where she can't have sex right now and is "going through a rough patch" with depression – her bf's reaction was to run off and fuck a new girl while she's left behind, shaming herself for "not being a good poly person" because she doesn't feel any compersion for them.

• A husband is feeling bitter that the V-Day card he got from his wife was a single line while the one she gave her new bf was 2 pages long and extremely erotic. He's also feeling sexually used, like he provides "a service for her". The best advice the forum can give is that they should be more distant, keep secrets, not share so much, and divert his attention elsewhere while he experiences a "painful readjustment of expectation". Fun!

But let's get to the good stuff.

A whole gaggle of poly baristas from 2 coffee shop kiosks across the road from each other have all lost their jobs and are contemplating suing for DISCRIMINATION, because they consider the poly identity a protected class, like race or gender.

Spoiler: Discrimination Sperging

View attachment 667493

When you tell your manager "you have nerve to smile at me!" because "he fired my baby" you're proving him right that your relationship affected your professionalism, you utter muppet.

This next one is great because of the comments. He had told his gf that he didn't want to have unprotected sex because it was "special" to him. Then he went for a drunk Tinder hookup and, you guessed it, had that very special unprotected sex with a rando. He feebly said, "I have a condom..." but she continued without one and he said nothing more because "it felt so good". Now he's worried about how to disclose it to his gf.

The comments are trying to convince him that he was RAPED. He even says he doesn't feel that way so he won't tell her that, but they persisted. He's a victim, dammit, no matter what he says! And he's getting this advice from someone who says they have committed assault "many times". I guess that makes them an expert?

Spoiler: I'll Keep Insisting You're A Rape Victim Even If You Say No, Please Stop!

View attachment 667501
View attachment 667502
View attachment 667503

He's not the only one being careless; many polys say they aren't using condoms with their multiple sex partners, and, shockingly, have the herp.

There's a saying I think is appropriate here: "No matter where you go, there you are." No matter how much we want to be different, there's just no getting away from ourselves. In the attempt to get away from being with ourselves, we search for something or someone to make us happy; the grass constantly appears greener someplace else. But in every relationship and every situation, there we are again.

Ultimately we can't keep running or hiding from our problems. If you're unhappy on the inside, declaring yourself to be poly, transgender, or anything else isn't going to magically make that unhappiness inside of you go away. You carry that burden with you, no matter where you go or what you call yourself. Sooner or later, you're going to have to deal with yourself.

 

[Bussy Catalog]

What do Gays think about all these people attaching themselves to their movement? I have to imagine that not all of them are happy about the movement now being LGBTQ, instead of just LG. Now I hear that some Pedophiles are trying to piggyback onto them as well, There has to be some who disagree with this.

I’ve never cared much for the LGBT movement because it’s always been a hodgepodge of various groups whose only common trait is having been the targets of prejudice. I’m an individualist above all else, and I think people tend to use groups as a substitute for having their own identity. But once marriage equality happened every sexual minority group on the planet was like “it’s MY turn now!” That’s when the trans train went into maximum overdrive and the really weird groups like furries and polys started trying to push themselves into the mainstream. Then people started adding extra letters to the acronym like there was a contest to make it as long and unwieldy as possible. At this point, I couldn’t care less about the movement. I’m gay and I already got my rights, I don’t need to stan for all these other wannabes because of solidarity or whatever. What rights are they even lacking, anyway? There are no laws against wearing a fur suit or being a slut. These people just want to compare themselves to gays and lesbians because they think that will make people feel obligated to accept their bizarre behavior.

As for pedos, they’ve been trying to piggyback on the movement since at least the ‘70s. It’s never worked because queers hate those guys just as much as everyone else (plus crazy homophobes love to accuse gay men of being kiddie diddlers, so no surprise they don’t want to be associated with actual diddlers).

 

[Kosher Dill]

Then people started adding extra letters to the acronym like there was a contest to make it as long and unwieldy as possible.

What's hilarious is that in Canada they'll actually use the super-long form of the acronym every single time.

 

[AnOminous]

What's hilarious is that in Canada they'll actually use the super-long form of the acronym every single time.

And then you have idiotic bullshit like "asexuals" claiming this has something to do with being gay. Claiming that's a sexual preference is like claiming "I don't like ice cream" is an ice cream flavor.

 

[Alberto Balsalm]

My lone personal encounter with poly went like this: Bi transtrender chick tried to cheat on her girlfriend with some dude, got caught, then tried to throw a pity party about "realizing she identifies as poly" and guilted them both into staying. Everyone I knew at the time agreed that no, poly isn't an orientation, you just want to fucking cheat. The relationship broke down about a week later.

There are a shit ton of fringe groups that have tried to attach themselves to the gay rights movement, but they almost always fail in the long run, because they're transparently trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Poly people, asexuals, and whatever have nothing to do with gay people until they specifically want to complain about not receiving as much attention as them. I think there's especially a backlash against this now that people have realized that "let's shove as many letters into LGBT as possible" allowed any bored upper-crust person to LARP as oppressed.

 

[iafiv]

So how would hate crime legislation work for polys?From what i know no one has been murdered because they were poly.I'm not counting situations in which someone grew too attached to someone else in a relation while also being with a 2nd person and an argument broke out.Actual situations in which a poly was murdered because of that.Has that happened?Maybe one case per 100000 if that?Also i never heard of hate speech against polys?Unless they count that episode of Seinfeld where he suddenly discovered his girlfriend was ok with a threesome involving her roommate and him.And instead of going through with it he mentioned how he would have to get orgy friends and it would be too much hassle.Is that hate speech by their standards?I think there's a difference between 'God hates fags' to 'i'd have to get orgy friends'.There isn't even a specific slur towards polys in the english language.

 

[Vorhtbame]

I think there's a difference between 'God hates fags' to 'i'd have to get orgy friends'.There isn't even a specific slur towards polys in the english language.

"Psychotic turboslut" isn't a slur if it's true.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

The main difference between gay acceptance and poly acceptance is that poly acceptance has a way bigger potential negative impact on the majority.

Gay acceptance is actually beneficial for straights, because they're significantly less likely to accidentally wind up being someone's beard.

Poly acceptance is not, because their partner is way more likely to choose poly (which is a thing you can do, unlike homosexuality), and fuck up their relationship. (Same with transgenderism--in the past autogynephiles were content with down-low lingerie, and now they're actually transitioning.)

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

what did he mean by this

? You know, when a gay person dates a straight person so they can pretend to be straight.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Came across this one - it's like a piece of art. It's a long one though.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aks3gl/came_out_to_our_friends/ (Archive)


We start with our protagonist, reddit user "tkuck" and him sharing his poly happiness with his family, close friends, reddit, and now (indirectly) kiwi farms. But he's just a man having trying to share a positive success story within his online poly community and what is really so wrong with that? Is it maybe he doesn't use a different username when he posts other things and has been crying out for help constantly? Nah.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/ao68xs/i_cant_get_over_my_fear_and_anxiety/ (Archive)


It turns out, our protagonist is actually falling apart and shines a light on a few things in his life. She's a housewife spending money she doesn't earn on this guy who is half her age and doesn't seem to care that her husband of 25 years is quite explicitly falling apart at the seams over it. In the comments he provides one more info piece that the wife doesn't want him "to scare him (the boyfriend) away". Maybe he's just reading too much into it?

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/am6xxs/am_i_asking_too_much/ (Archive)



So not only is he falling apart over this but his wife is routinely blowing him off to see this other, younger guy. She goes when he's working, she goes when she feels like it, and now she goes even on his "standing date night". Maybe that's as bad as it gets?

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/abvhd3/needing_advice/ (Archive)


Here we get a few more details - primarily that she would restrict who he was able to see (if anyone, at all) during their 15 years of poly time. It was during this time that she would still be jealous/uncomfortable with poly and he still pursued it and suggested that she does the same. It would look like our protagonist may have made his own bed here, so to speak.

Additionally she states that she has no intention of leaving and honestly why would she? This guy is the father to her kids and is basically paying for her to get routinely creampied by a much younger man. She's in an unbelievably great position - it's a hedonist's dream life.

Oh, yeah, creampie confirmed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aduljh/reclamation_sex_rejection/ (Archive)


She doesn't like having frequent sex anymore so she seems to have it primarily with her new partner. When she has sex (infrequently) with the husband she makes him wrap it up so the boyfriend can drop loads inside carefree.

TL;DR - this guy basically was a swinger for 15 years who thought he was poly until his wife (of 25 years) got a semi-serious boyfriend and try as he might to be cool about it, he is having a giant internal meltdown about it. She, after jealously dealing with him swinging with others, seems to refuse to let her new relationship go despite the devastation it seems to be causing her husband. Seemingly any situation where she can blow off her husband for her boyfriend she will do it without a moment's hesitation.

Bonus -

Spoiler: NSFW - The wife's tits because reddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFlashing/comments/7t6bzy/at_the_bar/
View attachment 660402

If you thought this guy couldn't get more cucked, you were sadly incorrect.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/apves0/what_are_your_valentines_day_plans/

Anyone have creative ideas?

My wife is the hinge in V with myself and her bf. Although we were never big on V-Day pre-bf, we normally would celebrate with cards and a nice dinner at home or maybe a bath. Her bf asked yesterday “will you be my Valentine Thursday?” So, she’s asking me to give up V-Day with her because “it doesn’t mean that much to” her and “we never celebrated anyway”.

I suggested she and I meet somewhere for a drink and some food early in the evening and then she can go meet him afterwards. He gets to spend the night with her, so that kind of sucks, but she and I have plans Friday and Saturday night, so I’m excited about that.

Any other ideas out there?

Also the main reason I came here - https://soundcloud.com/user-24065392

Imagine you are so cucked that you start a podcast about how unbelievably cucked you are. This is an audio podcast totaling 47 minutes long where the wife fawns about her new lover and the husband tries to pretend like he's happy about it. This is pure, 100%, uncut cringe and is not for the faint of heart. They dive into the husband struggling immensely with the relationship and the wife trying to find a way to navigate the relationship but is unwilling to end it.

The podcast was posted yesterday but they reference the date of January 14th, so this was likely recorded before much of his Reddit whining.

 

[Solzhenitsyn]

If you thought this guy couldn't get more cucked, you were sadly incorrect.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/apves0/what_are_your_valentines_day_plans/



Also the main reason I came here - https://soundcloud.com/user-24065392

Imagine you are so cucked that you start a podcast about how unbelievably cucked you are. This is an audio podcast totaling 47 minutes long where the wife fawns about her new lover and the husband tries to pretend like he's happy about it. This is pure, 100%, uncut cringe and is not for the faint of heart. They dive into the husband struggling immensely with the relationship and the wife trying to find a way to navigate the relationship but is unwilling to end it.

The podcast was posted yesterday but they reference the date of January 14th, so this was likely recorded before much of his Reddit whining.

This is what's so bizarre about polys. They act like they're creating some revolution of love when it's so obvious to anyone from the outside how pathetic it is.
Like this guy. Even if you believe polyamory is a viable option (I don't), this guy is clearly in an unhealthy relationship. She's half his age, leeching off his money, ditching him on a day designed to celebrate love for no reason other than "idk I don't want to", openly treats him like dirt, and is increasingly finding excuses to not hang around with him. In a monogamous relationship, any two of those factors would be enough for a sane person to go "Dude, she's using you as a meal ticket while she fucks other guys. Drop her like a hot potato."
Except here, that is treated as a good thing, something to be celebrated, that he's the one with the problem because he doesn't like the idea of spending fifteen years with a partner only to be cucked into spending money for her to be a thot. And the fact that it seems like he pushed for poly in the first place when she didn't want to makes it even more twisted. Is there revenge shit going on here as well? Who the fuck knows?

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

The main difference between gay acceptance and poly acceptance is that poly acceptance has a way bigger potential negative impact on the majority.

Gay acceptance is actually beneficial for straights, because they're significantly less likely to accidentally wind up being someone's beard.

Poly acceptance is not, because their partner is way more likely to choose poly (which is a thing you can do, unlike homosexuality), and fuck up their relationship. (Same with transgenderism--in the past autogynephiles were content with down-low lingerie, and now they're actually transitioning.)

Plus it’s good to remember that government is involved in romantic relationships largely because families work as financial unified group that shares responsibilities and resources. It’s good that people can get support and divide labor for mote optimal outcome. A doctor can take more patients if they don’t have to take time of to cook, do laundry and take kids to soccer. So recognizing and incentivizing this is good for everyone and as such legal marriage is important for happier society.

Think about how the law would need to be changed. For homosexuals it’s pretty simple, two adults instead of a man and a woman. Maybe some changes to some childbirth related issues like who takes what leave and how parenthood is registered but generally fairly simple and has no real effect on traditional marriages.

Poly otherhand would change marriage landscape hugely and there is no real idea even among those that promote polygamy marriage what those changes should be. Actually they don’t talk about it at all, just that they should have right be married whom ever they choose. That’s nice but laws need to be pretty detailed or at least have general spirit that can be followed. Even something as simple as consent to marriage would be problematic. Of course you should have say if you get married but how far in webs of relationships should you have say in. Do you have say only who you married, do you need to consent to your current partner’s new spouse(s), your spouse’s spouse’s spouse’s new spouse or everyone in web of marriages. How many people can be married at the same time, are you automatically also married to your spouses’ spouses, do get parental rights and responsibilities, inheritance, divorce settlements and so on. That’s a lot and this was just assuming that there is no abuse of the law. Cults, religious fundamentalists, sex traffickers and immigrant activists all could fuck a lot of people fairly easily with free to all marriage. That would end family joining immigration laws fast.

That would just be a shit show. Why would any sane person go for that? I guess it could improve reality tv divorce drama.