🎨 Artcow Piscea Sikono (Schaun Bishop) - Fishy Kickstarter Business and Inventor of the Cybermatrix

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Alright, I found out today that his book is free with an Amazon Unlimited trial. As you may already know, it's written in all caps and structured as a script for the cutscenes of a video game. It's got this childish jingoist vibe that would make Jack Stryker shed a manly tear. Here's the rundown of the first episode:

Quotes (reformatted for your reading pleasure):

Shunio: Kill this Piscea Sikono, and bring the dead spirit to me.
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Piscea: Port me to my Grand Portal Room.
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Jahova: "Piscea, congratulations. We are officially 25% complete at war with the Dark Shadow Syndicate."
[Everyone in room cheers.]
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Piscea: "We never fail as Ultra Multiforms. As velociraptors, we strike. As ultra moorish idols, we take them down."
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Satan: "Piscea, it's Satan. I'm in the process of sending you my son, Lucifer, so if your looking for answers, he's the answer fish."
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Lucifer: "Piscea, this is a dimensional dungeon. This is the Azerus dungeon, run by the infamous Flood, and the Gravemind."
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Nemo: [Swims to bed, lays down, closes sleepshaft]
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The wooden guillitene (sic) clamps down on Stevie's right side. Piscea opens his disintebeam on Stevie's left. Piscea then opens his Ultra Disintebomb on Stevie's head, and the bomb explodes, killing Stevie on contact.
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Piscea: "Ain't that harsh of the luck?"
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Colin: "Let's get to our spots"
Piscea: "I couldn't agree less"
[Mission Start]
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Piscea: "DSS forces, I suggest you leave this planet at peace, or I'll take physical action on you blokes!"
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Gevalis Barnes [Attempts to grab Piscea]
Piscea [Teledodges behind Gevalis, fires Ultra Disintebeam to Gevalis]
Gevalis Barnes: "Dunoko Williams you!"
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*Teleports behind you*
Darci Jones: "No------------------------! Fuck you Master Pisces!!!"
Piscea: "No, Fuck you."
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Shunio: "Master Pisces?!"
Piscea: "Only my Special Forces Unit can call me that!"
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The DSS is finally gone and vanquished, and I never been happily content.
The war is won by us TPE Ultrafishes, and since then, we are now at peace.
And the path of the DSS has come to an end. Hopefully in the future, we intend to be at peace forever.

Piscea S Sikono, over and out.

Transaction Complete!
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Characters (why, god?):
Jahova Christ
  • Father of Piscea (possibly figuratively)
  • Universal Godking and Redcross Dragon
  • Delegates missions for Piscea via "mission cards"
Nemo Sikono
  • Nemo is Piscea's brother and roommate.
  • Shares a room (BUT NOT A BED) with Pisces at Golden Coral Estates, 4f
  • Nemo is an Ultra Percula Clownfish'
Dimensional Traveler GX9000 (a.k.a. DT Grand a.k.a. DTGD)
  • Nemo and Piscea's robot dolphin servant and security AI
  • Has a "Defense Voice", whatever that is
  • Possibly the only female character
Marty McBride
  • I honestly have no idea who this is supposed to be
  • He is part of the TPESFU (Team Pisces Emissary Special Forces Unit)
  • Sometimes he gives a sitrep when Piscea arrives at places
Frank Mogia
  • Is a sturgeon fish shit
  • A mook for the Dark Shadow Syndicate (DSS)
  • Tries to steal The Disk from Piscea's base
Samson, Colin and Julio
  • Other members of the TPESFU
  • Always speak in unison, as writing their parts individually is too much effort
  • Are also Ultrafish and velociraptors
  • Colin is the best pilot but seems pretty bad at his job
Shunio
  • Darkmaster of the DSS
  • Dark Moorish Idol
  • Wants to kill Piscea
  • Generically evil
  • Appearance is never described
  • Has the power to brainwash even Ultragods
Krush
  • Dark Angelfish
  • Messenger of the DSS
  • Likes to crush things
  • Says "I will crush you, Team Pisces"
Haynes
  • Vice Lord of the DSS
Jimmy Wilteris
  • Transport hanger manager for the TPE
  • Ultra Regalraptor
Satan Mestopilese
  • Is a Fire Flame Angel Dragon in this story, rather than a Firetail
  • Father of Lucifer
Lucifer Mestopilese
  • Son of Satan, a Fire Flame Angelfish
  • Behaves like a robot - Asks for input, takes time to calculate, then spits out probabilistic data without any emotion
Kliteris
  • Yes, that is his real name.
  • Ultra Longtail Powerdragon (or maybe an Ultra Longtail Redcross Dragon)
  • Defends the Azerus dungeon with Kilnomis
  • Took part in the conviction of Piscea Sikono for destroying the Earth
Kilnomis
  • Has a less hilarious name than Kliteris
  • Ultra Multitail Nightdragon
  • Defends the Azerus dungeon as well
Jeff Mainstreak
  • Ultra Gem Idol - Some kind of golem, I guess
Limonis
  • Another gem idol.
  • These guys seem pretty disposable. They only exist to point people somewhere
Stevie Powerorc
  • Power Orc
  • Hates ultrafish
Jinakis Scott
  • Leader of the DSS
  • [20 hits, 1500 HP, 480 MP]
  • Horrifically murdered on sight by Piscea before he says a word
Dinoso Filinson
  • Some guy who is part of the DSS
  • [50 Hits]
Gevalis Barnes
  • Attempts to grab Piscea
  • Literally does nothing else except suck and die
Dunoko Williams
  • Murdered by Piscea, causing his dark army to disintegrate
  • He was not introduced prior to this event.
Lord Saonis
  • A member of the DSS, probably in charge of something
Charlie
  • Neo Moorish Idol
  • When held at gunpoint by Piscea, Charlie accepts his fate and agrees to come quietly. Piscea then says "Sike!" and attempts to murder Charlie in cold blood.
Darci Jones
  • Neo Percula Clownfish
  • Says "Fuck you Master Pisces!!!" when Charlie dies. Is never mentioned before this, or ever again.
  • Technically a second female character.
Other notes:
  • The story takes place some time after Piscea's mythical destruction of Earth, although this is not a pivotal plot point.
  • Schaun just kind of makes up numbers and names whenever they might be relevant. He doesn't check back for consistency, so something that took 1 day when first referenced may later become 10 days. Character descriptions change pretty randomly.
  • At one point, the TPESFU are all in a "flagship" which gets hit by a stray rock, causing Colin to scream "EJECT!" and dump the entire crew. The flagship falls and crashes, so Piscea just wills a new one into existence.
  • The battles are populated with "Killzones" that aren't really explained. They seem to be designated locations in which killing is allowed/possible, but I'm not totally sure.
  • Piscea's "disintebeam" seems to vaporize people in the scripted portions, but takes 20-60 shots to kill things according to the bracketed gameplay text.
  • Death is technically impossible in Piscea's world. Being "killed" effectively teleports you to a prison for some prescribed period of time. There are no corpses, because everyone just "fades" when they're defeated.
  • The two books are identical, but "Part 2" has much better formatting.
  • THERE IS A DRAGON NAMED KLITERIS
  • SERIOUSLY, KLITERIS.
  • Kliteris.
 
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Why fish? I mean, Finding Nemo came out in 2003 so that would put him at about 17 when he saw it. There are plenty of other franchises which are more suited to self inserts that he must have been exposed to, but no he centers around a creature with no arms or legs that spends it's lifetime underwater.
 
David Miscavige said:
Why fish? I mean, Finding Nemo came out in 2003 so that would put him at about 17 when he saw it. There are plenty of other franchises which are more suited to self inserts that he must have been exposed to, but no he centers around a creature with no arms or legs that spends it's lifetime underwater.
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autism
 
David Miscavige said:
Why fish? I mean, Finding Nemo came out in 2003 so that would put him at about 17 when he saw it. There are plenty of other franchises which are more suited to self inserts that he must have been exposed to, but no he centers around a creature with no arms or legs that spends it's lifetime underwater.
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My theory is that he wasn't allowed to have video games until pretty recently, but Disney movies were fair game. Before Nemo, it was probably some other family-friendly character. Another thing to note is that he doesn't want to self-insert, he wants to pull the characters into his own universe. His book includes factions taken from the Halo franchise, too. I wonder what sparked his love of velociraptors and dragons.
 
Puppies. said:
My theory is that he wasn't allowed to have video games until pretty recently, but Disney movies were fair game. Before Nemo, it was probably some other family-friendly character. Another thing to note is that he doesn't want to self-insert, he wants to pull the characters into his own universe. His book includes factions taken from the Halo franchise, too. I wonder what sparked his love of velociraptors and dragons.
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That makes sense. If he was denied access to a lot of media he would have to use whatever was available. A lack of video games would explain his focus on his imaginary games console and the way you said the book was written. If he grew up in a staunchly religious household his parents would have severely restricted what he could watch.
 
I just want you all to know that I have read and annotated the second half of the book. Piscea is a major advocate for "righteous" genocide and the murder of prisoners of war. Summary coming soon.
 
I am necroing this thread because of the sheer opportunity this has, he still posts (rarely) on his facebook page and still has a world of content to be found. The Movie Night Threads were reminded of this guy and his audacious claims.

I wonder anyone if the Cyber Matrix 100 has any chance of coming back.
 
What is it with (potential) lolcows and deplorable dental hygiene? That guy's teeth look like someone punched a hole through a wooden fence.

I agree with Valiant in that this guy has potential and deserves further investigation.
 
Shart_Commander said:
I did some "research" into Schuan/Piscea, whatever his name is, and I found some interesting stuff.
I already made a thread on it, because I'm an idiot and didn't search for one that already existed, so I'm just going to put most of the stuff I found in bullet form.

-His name is most likely Schuan Bishop
-He is 29 years old
-He lives with his parents
-He's racist, using nigger faggot as his go to insult
-He has "anger issues and autistic features" according to him
-He is a fan of a kids show called "Dinosaur Train"
-He likes rock
-He likes fish
-Piscea Sikono is some fish character of his, as mentioned above in another post
-He only has $73 left of the KickStarter money
-He recently bought a new PC after punching and destroying his monitor (possibly what the money went towards)
-He has previously tried crowdfunding money for an Xbox One, but failed (another possible use of the KS money)
-He has a strong dislike for the PS4, Ouya, and Xbox 360
-He is not a friend of IdubbbzTV, from what I gather

Something else I found, that I thought was interesting
https://youtube.com/watch?v=e1i5V1JcJ0s
In this we see an interaction between Sikono and his mother in their kitchen. Sikono mentions Jehovah and praying to him, despite saying that he is Christian in his Idubbbz response video. His mother seems to not give a shit about him and tries to ignore him, only responding with "yeah" or mumbles. Sikono mentions the "creature" inside him, and that despite this, he is still human, possibly referring to some sort of Otherkin spirit animal, most likely a fish.

I also found his IndieGoGo video for his Xbox One crowdfunding project
https://youtube.com/watch?v=J1kGAAy-QuM


Here is his YouTube page.
https://www.youtube.com/user/pisceabishop64/videos

The comment section has many comments from him that reveal a lot about himself and are pretty funny.
Some highlight comments from him:

"fuck you, you don't know me. first of all, i am 29 yrs old, you fat bastard son of a bitch. i don't have time to fuck with earthlings like yourself, k? FOK OFF!!"

"HEY, DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT MY PARENTS, I WILL DROP MY WHEN I HAVE MY CYBERMATRIX MADE DDOS YOUR ADDRESS AND DESTROY YOUR HOUSE. YOU'RE ON MY BLACKLIST, OR TO KILL LIST. WHEN I GET MY CYBERMATRIX MADE, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN."

"when i get my cybermatrix made, i will hack into that system, remove that law, and there's nothing the government can do to stop me, like i said, you will be a dead man and you will go to hell, not heaven. ever since i turned 9, some douchebag caused a lot of humans to be banned from heaven. ever since, jesus, elsa and jahova christ were forced to turn into ultrafishes and ever since then, when i heard the news, i was heartbroken, yet relieved that the humans were banned. they're all banned, past, present and future. so go ahead and try to report me. when i get my cybermatrix made, i'm removing that ddos law, and there's nothing the government can do to stop me. not even you. i'll turn that human based tech into ultrafish based tech and no human will see the light of day, good or bad, guilty or innocent. all humans in the future, and present are no longer allowed past the golden gate. they'll see the cosmic gate, but not the golden gate."


I'm 99.9% positive that Sikono and Idubbbz are not friends. To make sure, I've messaged Idubbbz and asked him to verify this.

That's it for what I've found out about Sikono. I really hope I see more of him in the future, because what I've seen so far was pretty great. I think he has great potential for some good laughs.
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"Jehovah" is the traditional English transliteration of the Tetragramaton, the unspeakable, holy acronymed Hebrew name for the Judeo-Christian God. It's basically His given name (given by Himself, presumably.) It's held not to be an *exact* English equivalent for how it was probably said, but it's been kind of the English Dub Version Official Translation Name since the King James Version translation of the Bible hundreds of years ago.
 
Who would even need the Cybermatrix when there is a vast array of multimedia/game development tools and technologies, both paid and free, at anyone's disposal? Also, developing quantum computers would cost millions of dollars, a long shot from the Kickstarter goal, and such computers are more suited for complex scientific and business-based applications, as opposed to conventional multimedia.
 
feynman said:
Who would even need the Cybermatrix when there is a vast array of multimedia/game development tools and technologies, both paid and free, at anyone's disposal? Also, developing quantum computers would cost millions of dollars, a long shot from the Kickstarter goal, and such computers are more suited for complex scientific and business-based applications, as opposed to conventional multimedia.
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You're trying to apply common sense logic and reasoning to a cow.

stop
 
i pronounce his name "PISS YEAH SICK OH NO"

i read a bunch of his weird shit in the voice of Deckard Cain during movie night, it was a blast. i never knew i wanted a CYBER-STOVE until i saw those high-def MSPaint diagrams!
 
What fresh Hell is this? Fish? Dragons? The fuck, you guys? I think it's time for me to take a break from the internet. (:_(
 
Holy shit, I had totally forgotten about this guy. Looks like I have some watching/reading to do. Seriously, though, I love the reactions Kickstarter Crap gets from those featured on it. Is there a thread for the grimestep guy?
 
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