What are his options? Pay pig couch crashing? Downgrade further to some other turd world shithole?
I'm unfamiliar with how easy it is to bribe government officials in Mexico, but if it's like any other non-hwite place, he'll probably be able to bribe someone for some signatures. Ofc, there's the obvious question of how could he even afford to bribe anyone if they want more than $10, but maybe the Mexican plumber/lawyer/landlord/torta man will hook him up?
Other than that, I really don't know. The most logical options that involve a return to the US are either his uncle or one of the old ladies like Merryjane. The issue with the former is his uncle doesn't seem too keen on Ralph, who's likely aware how much of a irredeemable loser Ronnie's spawny is. The latter is also iffy since Ralph allegedly fucked up her weed growing operation during his short stay when she did let him in the house. He definitely can't afford pretty much anything on his own either, even in the most desolate, bum fuck nowhere places. There also aren't any other glowing, obvious options besides a random paypigs couch. The issue is his favorite paypig, Anal, is already shacked up with another retard and the rest of his paypigs suck hard on the government teet.
As far as non-US options, it's definitely not implausible he seeks somewhere poorer. Colombia isn't an option for the reasons you mentioned, and it's not like a poorer country doesn't impact other facets like worse services/utilities. Things like power and Internet are simple going to be more unreliable and he needs those to consistently generate his already miniscule income. PLUS, Ralph has no vehicle, is reliant on the Mexican variants of Doordash/GrubHub/Instacart, and won't have the Mexican plumber/lawyer/landlord/torta man to lean on.
All in all, I really don't know what he'll do if he can't bribe his way into extending his residency. All of the options listed above are inherently going to negatively impact the already horrendous KEELSTREAM which only makes things worse. If Ralph wasn't an idiot, he'd see the writing on the wall (that was written years ago), give up, and grovel to his Uncle so he could maybe try to restart his failed life as best he could. He won't though, because it's Ralph.
On that note, when does he have to renew his passport? It's definitely been more than a year since he's received it, so did he renew that or manage to get the standard normal American non-retard passport again. Is he roaming around with an expired passport?