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i know he's pilled the fuck out again so there many reasons be facing downwards... but that + ending the show, i think hes actually sending voice messages to Scarlet on Whatsapp or w/e he uses to harass herNo, it's very charming. If Scarlett sees this clip, she'll be on the first flight to Merida. "Hi my little darling, mommy is here! I heard you have an owchie on your knee! Let me kiss that little boo-boo away, you'll feel much better."
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We're gonna needI would kill for a peg leg pirate Ralph arc.
Does this plank look 5 1’ bishWalk the plank ya scurvy dogs! I'll be swimmin' with the mud sharks! ARRRGH
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Thats called the West Memphis special40 year old man is starving for some pussy that has been HEAVILY blacked and endless films of it occuring too.
Is it just me or does she kind of look like Alice? Is Ethan yearning for lost love?
She's literally trauma-retarded, let's lower our expectations.she is doing the rick and morty meme in 2026? jesus christ lady GET WITH THE TIMES NO ONE CARES ABOUT THAT SHIT SHOW ANYMORE.
What's worse is Ralph views any negative criticism regarding that (or anything really) as alogs aloggin' him, but it's not. It was legitimately one of the most bizarre and inexplicable things he's ever done.Ralph making cutesy faces in some kind of insane attempt to woo Scarlett, is one of the most pathetic and ridiculous things I have ever seen.
Imagine how much worse he is in her DMs if he acts like this publiclyWhat's worse is Ralph views any negative criticism regarding that (or anything really) as alogs aloggin' him, but it's not. It was legitimately one of the most bizarre and inexplicable things he's ever done.
I think we have a very, very good idea based on the Minx or Lynx (whatever that dumb sluts name was) leaks. If Ralph was dropping da patented "Ahh lub yeww" to her, it has to be exponentially worse with a porn star.Imagine how much worse he is in her DMs if he acts like this publicly
I'd say it's less pain and more Ralph absolutely abhors his streaming career. Even if you consider the minimal amount of effort he puts into da KEELSTREAM, sitting in a chair, playing clips in the background, and silently scrolling through X for 8+ hours regular is such a mind numbing grind. What makes it more unbearable for Ralph is the fact that no one besides a dozen or so retards watch his stream, no one donates, and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Each day and each stream is exactly the same as it was last week/month/year, and going to be exactly the same as next week/month/year, without any hope it'll be different whatsoever.Imagine being in so much pain, you can't sit on a stream, in a chair, for 8 hours, while doomscrolling on your phone and basically ignoring all else.
Who the fuck is Scarlett Hampton?
She's been all over the map on this, even claiming on one occasion that her mom was born in 1958 while claiming elsewhere that (by some miracle of modern science) her mom was "48" when giving birth to her, which would add up to a birth year of 2006 making her 20 now, supposedly. All the while people on that same show had been under the impression she was supposed to be 24 as of last January and concurred after seeing her up close in person that it'd have to be a "rough 24" that might as well have been "45." With such a tangled web of deceit obscuring just how drastically Crackets may be robbing the cradle here, there may be no way to solve the mystery other than a brief retrospective on how the real person behind the stage name came about.
This may seem harsh when she claims to have "personal information...kept away from the public view" to "protect [her] family" from the realities of her daily life, but it's not like anything about her can really be called private anymore when, upon even a cursory glance at Filmot keywords in her countless hours of nonstop attention-whoring on every last diddlerverse stream that'd listen, she has volunteered more than enough details to narrow down to a unique individual, including but not limited to: (1) her grandpa descending from President John Adams and surviving the Battle of the Bulge to raise a family of precisely "eleven children" including her supposedly "conservative" father who presently operates a christmas tree farm in Scarlett's hometown of Shawano after divorcing her mother to spend some time in Poland chasing a "foreign exchange student" who went to high school with Scarlett and is now his fiancee; (2) her mom from North Carolina who attended Stanford and worked for Milton Friedman and Edward Teller before marrying her dad when he was precisely 33 years of age and becoming an attorney with over 30 years of active practice including a tribal law case prominent enough have been covered by the New York Times; (3) her sister being a director; (4) specifics about her mom's present residence such as maintenance needs of its pond; (5) specifics about her present apartment in Madison where she has lived for "multiple years" having a New-York-style fire escape that's fairly rare for Madison (prompting Brennan to shout "don't dox yourself"); (6) her timeframe in Greenwich with Matt Mead having been preceded by some time with ex-boyfriend in a biker gang during one of her timeframes spent in New York, Vegas, and the San Pedro neighborhood adjoining Long Beach; (7) her present vehicle to look for still being a Saab; (8 ) her winning a cross country state championship in 2014; (9) her "top of the class" induction ceremony at Lambeau Field, etc. etc. etc.
For starters you'd think that Christmas tree farms serving a town as small as Shawano would be few and far between. Sure enough Wisconsin's public registry for licensed Christmas tree growers pulls up the third-closest to town (Roy Jay Gretzinger born in April of 1964 to Marjorie J. Gretzinger and Frank John Gretzinger Sr. and currently residing at N3888 County Road CC, Shawano, WI 54166) who perfectly matches Scarlett's blabbing all over the Internet about daddy replacing his 23-year marriage with Scarlett's Polish exchange-student classmate, which at best raises some disturbing questions about what sorts of proclivities may have brought about Scarlett's glaring daddy issues in the first place, or at worst always was brazen case of long-game grooming that would make Nick and Drexel proud:
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Real-daddy's divorce records then of course point the way to mommy (Sharon Louise Greene f/k/a Sharon Louise Greene-Gretzinger born in July of 1958 to Carrie Chriscoe Greene and Mack Lee Greene and currently residing at W12456 Leopolis Rd, Leopolis, WI 54948 ), whose birth year, profession, practice area, alma mater, and property description all perfectly match what Scarlett already blabbed about to the entire Internet, revealing the actually-practicing attorney that Scarlett (in a short-lived moment of clarity) once considered more age-appropriate for grandpa Crackets to date:
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This family also appears to match Scarlett's blabbing all over the Internet about her sister, who continues to upstage Scarlett in her parents' eyes with her generation's only college degree and stable employment to speak of:
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The striking contrast in this tale of two sisters is especially tragic when observing that Scarlett Hampton (a/k/a Delaney Rose Greene-Gretzinger born February 12, 1999 and currently residing at 427 State St, Apt 4, Madison, WI 53703) would by all accounts have been the golden child, teeming with potential for a vibrant future making a lasting difference in the world. It wouldn't have been too hard, what with the head start of what by all accounts looks like a wholesome and supportive upper-middle-class upbringing in which she once seemed so very happy:
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Not one to rest on her laurels, she even found the passion and driven determination to push herself to the maximum of her ability and make the aforementioned seeming tall tale about a state championship a reality, becoming something of a hometown hero in the process:
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Nor was she confabulating about her outstanding academic achievements being honored at Lambeau Field, as she did at one time have enough remaining synapses firing for a GPA in the top ~0.5% of Wisconsin graduates worthy of an invite to that very real event:
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Let's hear it from the valedictorian in her own words where she then would see herself in 10 years, of which there are still 16 months left to HIT THAT GOAL if she could just go get the professional help she needs:
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Neuroscience? Really? From there it's unclear where things took a turn, but from the sound of it her first year or so into that fancy UW-Madison "honors program" went so badly that to even speak of it opens old wounds:
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Then before you know it, in June of 2020 before any 4-year program beginning in September of 2017 could ever have been completed, she fancied herself an up-and-coming Hollywood starlet in the making as soon as she could scrape up any legit non-porn roles in sight:
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Then with the occasional extra role as "Scared Pedestrian #8" or the like not quite paying the bills, poor Delaney resorts to the "the industry" with a debut so perfectly tailored to her glaring daddy issues that her digital pimps must have picked up on within seconds of meeting her, in a story as old as fucking time:
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...and the rest is history, with one step lower from porn down to the seeming rock-bottom that is the dabbleverse, until then blasting through rock-bottom down to the whole new bottom that is stuffing some dabbleverse-adjacent child-abusing elderly crackhead's flaccid junk into a balldo. So much potential, so much promise, and now this. What went wrong?
There's still time for Delaney to do the one thing she was ever demonstratively good at: RUN. And that doesn't even mean run away from all the blacked porn. Comparatively speaking, there could at least be some dignity in that.
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I dub this field of research 'pornology' and you as the first 'pornologist'. Congratulations?She's made the rounds, so Ralph knows exactly where to knock on her door if he wants to: