🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[JAKL II]

Yeah, but think how much money Josh would make just keeping hot mics around Gunt.

Enough to keep the Farms running to 2030

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

bet I think we might get a Vegas residency and brushing shoulders with IP2.

Idk, I think Andy Dick still had a fatwa on Ralph for what piggie did to Alice.

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

I'd hate for you to be the next scorned ex, too. As funny as the concept would be, considering how many times he's put his hands on someone, I would not trust to be around Ralph for even a second.

Also, there's no point in coming to the US, the sicarios will cross the Rio Grande. Ralph is just fucked.

That's also assuming the truck is in any shape to drive in the heat.

That isn’t the type of heat I mean. I’m talking about how hot the Plaza is. It’s Mexican for how dangerous the area is due to Cartel bullshit. When you hear about someone or some group “heating up the Plaza”, that means there’s groups fighting over turf or shit like that.

The Marinas arrested La Kena last week outside Monterrey. He leads a branch of CDG, the ones who kidnapped/killed those Americans in Matamoros a while back. Rumor is some guys in a different part ratted him out to get him out of the way. Whether his guys try to break him out before he’s extradited to the US, his guys fight the guys in the other part of CDG that they think snitched on him, or whether some other group tries to move in and they all fight each other, Tamps and NL are too hot to fuck around in for the natives right now, much less a fat gringo running for the Border from the wrong side in a fire-apple red shitbox truck with US plates on it.

 

[Polyboros2]

So, how do we make the cartels aware that we will pay for the video?

 

[Bepis]

I'm sure Ralph's very good friend Dick Masterson will make up a bed for him and his cats. You know, unless he's not actually Ralph's best friend, but just another disloyal snake in the grass, right? Hit him up, Ralph.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

Im expecting a philippines arc but Ralph could honestly go anywhere, if he does go to the philippines though its gonna be like 90 days fiance.

 

[Jump]

Ralph get the fuck out of Mexico.
Go get a 2nd cat cage or what ever the fuck you need for your cat and hit the road. Now. You need to get back to the USA before the mexican bureaucracy catches up with you at the border check points. You do not want to get tangled up in the Mexican legal system if you go in as a gringo who raped or beat a local. Even if its NOT TRU it doesn't matter. They will make an example out of you and send you to mexican prison.

 

[JAKL II]

30 pages in less than 6 hours.

WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK

 

[fake farts]

In a just world, Ralph will find someone to smuggle him to Ireland, so his gunt can finally gesticulate wildly all over Keffals' meaty flappers.

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

Ralph get the fuck out of Mexico.
Go get a 2nd cat cage or what ever the fuck you need for your cat and hit the road. Now. You need to get back to the USA before the mexican bureaucracy catches up with you at the border check points. You do not want to get tangled up in the Mexican legal system if you go in as a gringo who raped or beat a local. Even if its NOT TRU it doesn't matter. They will make an example out of you and send you to mexican prison.
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He’ll never live to see MX prison if he’s arrested because he wouldn’t survive in MX jail while waiting for his trial/sentencing/transport to MX Prison.

 

[draggs]

I don't know who this guy talking to Ralph on the twitter space is but his barely contained glee and not very subtle poking of the gunt with a sharp stick is hilarious

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I go to sleep, and it turns out Ralph's posts about loving a prostitute were to cover up for the fact he tried to attack her. I'm not even surprised.

Sure people are saying he should flee Mexico - definitely a good idea - but is extradition to Mexico from the US not a possibility. I know visa versa it's difficult because many parts of Mexico are lawless shit holes, but does the US really care if it sends obvious women beaters back to face the music.

 

[ComeoutandJULAY]

Do you know how hard it was for Ralph to wait until after the Lolcow of the Year award went out to pull this shit?

Just when things were slowing down for Ralph, too.

Balldo's in your court, Rekieta.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

How the hell do you lose a cat carrier lol! I guess Ralph will be only choosing one cat to take with him. very grim.

Same guy lost his baby's stroller in an airport. It's a miracle the baby wasn't in it.

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

I go to sleep, and it turns out Ralph's posts about loving a prostitute were to cover up for the fact he tried to attack her. I'm not even surprised.

Sure people are saying he should flee Mexico - definitely a good idea - but is extradition to Mexico from the US not a possibility. I know visa versa it's difficult because many parts of Mexico are lawless shit holes, but does the US really care if it sends obvious women beaters back to face the music.

It’s a possibility, but it’s extremely remote. If he’d have killed her, and they had pictorial evidence, maybe.

Basically it has to be escalated to the Federal level in MX, then the MX Feds have to contact the US Feds and get them to agree, which they often don’t. Would they do it for murder? Maybe. For simple assault? I doubt it.

What’ll fuck Gunt up is if the policia put a warrant out for him before he gets across the border. That sets up a CRP situation where he gets popped at a border crossing trying to get out. If he’s gonna go, he’d better go now. If he can get across he’s probably OK on it as far as the charges go as long as he never goes back to MX

 

[Cynical-Carnivore-88]

Things Ralph's offered to do on camera for money:

• Take off his top
• Masturbate
• Take drugs
• Drive intoxicated

Maybe Ralph's been the whore this whole time.

South Park’s Jesus was right!

He’s a prostitute!

 

[Mouse Cop]

 

[Balldo's Gate]

It’s been a while but didn’t Gunt get the Ralphatruck to Merida by ferry service from FL? IIRC, that ferry stopped running. Even if it was up and running he’d have to have the $500 plus for the trip and reservation in advance and all that.

Ralph is fucked either way. What is he going to do?

Ralph has finally reached a point where all of the choices facing him have major downsides.

Is he going to stay in Mexico and hope Deni doesn't make a report?

Is he going to try to drive his truck north back to Texas? What is he going to do then? Is he going to find a place as cheap as his $400/month place in Los Heroes?

Let's say he does.

Is he going to permanently avoid being served by Pantsu? If not, that's his child support at least doubled. Probably more than that. Faith gave Ralph a sweetheart deal on the child support issue for no reason at all, because fumbles are what Team V specialize in. I don't see the Morris family taking the same tack.

I view the United States as a non-starter for that reason.

Is he going to try to drive his truck south? Where's he going to go then? He has talked in the past about countries like Paraguay or Ecuador. There's a tiny little problem with that, though. There's no roads between Panama and Colombia. He can't drive his truck into South America even if he wanted to. He would need to ship his truck in a container, at a cost of multiple months' rent, or abandon his truck.

My prediction? I wouldn't be surprised if he drives to Belize and stays in a hotel there a while to see if the situation for him in Mexico deteriorates in the meantime. He'll waddle back to Los Heroes when the heat has died down.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

It’s a possibility, but it’s extremely remote. If he’d have killed her, and they had pictorial evidence, maybe.

Basically it has to be escalated to the Federal level in MX, then the MX Feds have to contact the US Feds and get them to agree, which they often don’t. Would they do it for murder? Maybe. For simple assault? I doubt it.

What’ll fuck Gunt up is if the policia put a warrant out for him before he gets across the border. That sets up a CRP situation where he gets popped at a border crossing trying to get out. If he’s gonna go, he’d better go now. If he can get across he’s probably OK on it as far as the charges go as long as he never goes back to MX

Ralph might end up having to pay people traffickers to smuggle him across the border illegally at this rate. Can't wait for him to start complaining about the border wall.

The amount of funny permutation of this scenario are endless. This is the second country in less than two years he's going to end up fleeing.

No doubt he'll be drunk in a motel Only Use Me Blade style, and people will start fucking with him irl again just like last time. Just when he was getting boring too...

 

[Neil]

Ralph's fucked either way. Regardless of if whatever criminal element his gf-for-hire might be attached to takes care of him, he's double fucked the minute the Mexican police get their hands on him. He'll serve a year or more in Mexican prison then be promptly deported to America, to face all of the missed child support payments, unpaid debts, likely unpaid taxes, and inevitable lawfare with Meigh's family.

The number one rule for any expat is "Don't Break the Fucking Law", especially if you're an expat seeking refuge from self-imposed problems like Ralph. It shouldn't be hard not to lay your hands on a woman, especially when it's your THIRD (known) time facing heat for it.