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Penis photos in elementary school class chat: how should I react?
More and more often, children share intimate pictures of themselves in the Whatsapp class group. How parents can deal with it
Blog/Barbara Buchegger
June 8 2023, 09:00
In the guest blog, parenting guide Barbara Buchegger gives tips on sexuality on the Internet.
Question: Something very unpleasant happened recently in my nine-year-old son's class: A boy photographed his erect penis and sent the picture around the class group. There was a lot of excitement, and everyone went off on him - many kids made fun of him, and the parents got terribly upset. It was really bad for the boy. How could we have reacted better?
Barbara: It's good that you're thinking about how to handle a situation like that better! Lately, I keep hearing similar stories, and it's so important that adults take the initiative here and talk about sexuality, nudity and the body with children as young as elementary school age.
Because the fact that such things happen is not surprising in itself: after all, children often have their own cell phone or smartwatch with a photo function as early as elementary school, and they sometimes take very intimate pictures with it. After all, this is an age when hormones become increasingly noticeable and the body changes. The children observe and feel this - and in order to better understand these changes, their first experiences with their own sexuality are sometimes shared with others.
If children are not informed in time that nude photos have no place on the Internet, they naturally lack the awareness that they should not send such pictures via WhatsApp. On the one hand, this is about protecting their own privacy, but on the other hand it is also about social rules and legal aspects.
Teaching social rules
As in other areas of life, when it comes to sexuality, children first have to learn what boundaries exist and what is acceptable in our society. This includes, for example, explaining to our children that they are allowed to satisfy themselves, but not in every place and at every time - such as at grandma's birthday table. Or teaching them when nudity is appropriate and when it's not, and that others may not like it if you send them unsolicited intimate photos.
Promote realistic body image
The fact that the children made fun of the boy's penis in the incident you described may also be related to the fact that children are coming into contact with pornography at an increasingly early age and using it as a source of information. And penises naturally look different than those of a nine-year-old boy. Children are often not yet able to distinguish between staged pornography and real sexuality - and this is precisely where education is needed.
In your son's class, now would be a good time to talk to the children about the appearance of their sexual organs and to give them a realistic body image. This could be done in a science class under the motto "My body and I" or as part of a sexual education workshop. Perhaps there is also the possibility of offering such training for the parents - because education on this topic should of course also take place in the families.
The message that should be conveyed to children is that every body is unique and beautiful in its own way - and that this also applies to individual body parts such as the penis. It should also be made clear that porn does not represent reality. Here, a comparison with action or fantasy films can be helpful, in which actors, props and technical tricks are also used.
Point out legal consequences
However, an incident like the one in your son's class can also have legal consequences: Because the sent penis picture can be considered "child pornographic material" according to §207a StGB. According to this law, both the distribution and the possession of such images are punishable. So all children who got the picture and saved it on their cell phones can be considered as owners of the photo - that's why they absolutely have to delete the picture; and not only in WhatsApp and in the photo gallery of the cell phone, but also in all backups and possibly in the "hidden files". It is best to disable the automatic download in WhatsApp from the start.
It's never too late for clarification
Even if the incident in your son's class cannot be undone now: Use it as an opportunity to guard against such situations in the future. Once the dust has settled, it's a good time to talk to your kids about sexuality and how to handle their own privacy on the Internet. Because if they know better the next time, an important step has already been taken! (Barbara Buchegger, 8.6.2023)
S | A
Blog/Barbara Buchegger
June 8 2023, 09:00
In the guest blog, parenting guide Barbara Buchegger gives tips on sexuality on the Internet.
Question: Something very unpleasant happened recently in my nine-year-old son's class: A boy photographed his erect penis and sent the picture around the class group. There was a lot of excitement, and everyone went off on him - many kids made fun of him, and the parents got terribly upset. It was really bad for the boy. How could we have reacted better?
Barbara: It's good that you're thinking about how to handle a situation like that better! Lately, I keep hearing similar stories, and it's so important that adults take the initiative here and talk about sexuality, nudity and the body with children as young as elementary school age.
Because the fact that such things happen is not surprising in itself: after all, children often have their own cell phone or smartwatch with a photo function as early as elementary school, and they sometimes take very intimate pictures with it. After all, this is an age when hormones become increasingly noticeable and the body changes. The children observe and feel this - and in order to better understand these changes, their first experiences with their own sexuality are sometimes shared with others.
If children are not informed in time that nude photos have no place on the Internet, they naturally lack the awareness that they should not send such pictures via WhatsApp. On the one hand, this is about protecting their own privacy, but on the other hand it is also about social rules and legal aspects.
Teaching social rules
As in other areas of life, when it comes to sexuality, children first have to learn what boundaries exist and what is acceptable in our society. This includes, for example, explaining to our children that they are allowed to satisfy themselves, but not in every place and at every time - such as at grandma's birthday table. Or teaching them when nudity is appropriate and when it's not, and that others may not like it if you send them unsolicited intimate photos.
Promote realistic body image
The fact that the children made fun of the boy's penis in the incident you described may also be related to the fact that children are coming into contact with pornography at an increasingly early age and using it as a source of information. And penises naturally look different than those of a nine-year-old boy. Children are often not yet able to distinguish between staged pornography and real sexuality - and this is precisely where education is needed.
In your son's class, now would be a good time to talk to the children about the appearance of their sexual organs and to give them a realistic body image. This could be done in a science class under the motto "My body and I" or as part of a sexual education workshop. Perhaps there is also the possibility of offering such training for the parents - because education on this topic should of course also take place in the families.
The message that should be conveyed to children is that every body is unique and beautiful in its own way - and that this also applies to individual body parts such as the penis. It should also be made clear that porn does not represent reality. Here, a comparison with action or fantasy films can be helpful, in which actors, props and technical tricks are also used.
Point out legal consequences
However, an incident like the one in your son's class can also have legal consequences: Because the sent penis picture can be considered "child pornographic material" according to §207a StGB. According to this law, both the distribution and the possession of such images are punishable. So all children who got the picture and saved it on their cell phones can be considered as owners of the photo - that's why they absolutely have to delete the picture; and not only in WhatsApp and in the photo gallery of the cell phone, but also in all backups and possibly in the "hidden files". It is best to disable the automatic download in WhatsApp from the start.
It's never too late for clarification
Even if the incident in your son's class cannot be undone now: Use it as an opportunity to guard against such situations in the future. Once the dust has settled, it's a good time to talk to your kids about sexuality and how to handle their own privacy on the Internet. Because if they know better the next time, an important step has already been taken! (Barbara Buchegger, 8.6.2023)
S | A
