Passover/Pesach Food Thread

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I've already done the thing this year but seeing as how all of the good shit is stocked up at the department store near me (the great thing about living in an area with a lot of Jews, I don't have to go out of my way to find kosher stuff when I'm in the mood for it) I might pick up some kosher Lay's and the chocolate dipped matzoh they've got.
 
This year I'm using pecans for my charoset. I haven't quite decided on an apple, but I'm leaning toward Jazz.
Jazz is an excellent choice because they're very resistant to browning and extremely tasty.



(Not a Jew, I just get called one on Kiwi Farms.)
 
I’ve been invited to Passover dinners by ethnically Jewish friends and my favorite is blackberry wine. It’s easy to buy year round anywhere, but it’s fun to be able to nibble on parsley as an actual dinner vegetable too.
 
Jazz is an excellent choice because they're very resistant to browning and extremely tasty.



(Not a Jew, I just get called one on Kiwi Farms.)
I bought six Jazz apples tonight. I'm only using two for the charoset; the rest are for regular eating. Jazz is my second favorite cultivar (the first is Granny Smith).
 
Matzah balls are a blessing to us all
Matzah itself, on the other hand, can go eat a dick
it's a little better with spreads (and egg matzah isn't bad) but its overall texture is just so gross
 
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I had pizza, but I am not Jewish... I don't know why I am in this thread... I don't even know what Passover is...
So Passover is celebrating when the Jews were still slaves of the Pharaoh and Moses called on the plague that would kill the first born son in all the families in the land and the plague passed over the Jewish families because they had painted their doorways with lamb's blood to indicate they were Moses's people. This was before they were known as Jews, I believe.
 
I had pizza, but I am not Jewish... I don't know why I am in this thread... I don't even know what Passover is...
It's okay - Passover is gay anyway. It's worse when the service portion is super-long. Fuck the however-many-questions and the dipping of the fork. Gimme the brisket! Also, Trombonista is right that charoset is amazing.

Gefilte fish can suck my ovaries, though.
 
I'm really curious about gefiltefish. It looks disgusting, but enjoyers say it has a very mild flavor. What does it taste like? I'm someone who enjoys sardines in olive oil, would I like it?
 
So Passover is celebrating when the Jews were still slaves of the Pharaoh and Moses called on the plague that would kill the first born son in all the families in the land and the plague passed over the Jewish families because they had painted their doorways with lamb's blood to indicate they were Moses's people. This was before they were known as Jews, I believe.
It's about the Angel of Death/ God/ Plague of Death passing over their houses after Pharaoh ignored the Ultimatum that Moses gave him. The Exodus story is one that people scrutinize the fuck out of while ignoring details that make the narrative easy to understand. The Jews weren't technically slaves, but basically a tribe of maybe 1000+ people (Not really a nation by the standards of the Ancient World) living as second class citizens in Egypt after Joseph's death. They basically were forced to labor and they might've helped renovate Pi Ramses.

Passover is more about them going back to Canaan.

The historography of the Exodus Narrative is hotly debated. The existence of Moses is doubted by some, but that's largely built upon the work of a very zealous Nazi. When I mean zealous I mean the dude had an out from serving in the Wehrmacht, but doubled down and a lot of his work is filled with a lot of German nonsense that fills a lot of religious works from the 18-19th century.
I typically lean on the idea of Moses being real because his fuck-ups and tantrums are recorded.
 
It's about the Angel of Death/ God/ Plague of Death passing over their houses after Pharaoh ignored the Ultimatum that Moses gave him. The Exodus story is one that people scrutinize the fuck out of while ignoring details that make the narrative easy to understand. The Jews weren't technically slaves, but basically a tribe of maybe 1000+ people (Not really a nation by the standards of the Ancient World) living as second class citizens in Egypt after Joseph's death. They basically were forced to labor and they might've helped renovate Pi Ramses.

Passover is more about them going back to Canaan.

The historography of the Exodus Narrative is hotly debated. The existence of Moses is doubted by some, but that's largely built upon the work of a very zealous Nazi. When I mean zealous I mean the dude had an out from serving in the Wehrmacht, but doubled down and a lot of his work is filled with a lot of German nonsense that fills a lot of religious works from the 18-19th century.
I typically lean on the idea of Moses being real because his fuck-ups and tantrums are recorded.
It's more about how the exodus from Egypt was the turning point of Jews from being a tribe/slaves into a nation with a shared history and culture.

The ten strikes against the Egyptians are big part since it's flexing on of the strongest nation back then, with the final strike (killing the firstborn) said to be done by God himself as punishment for the Egyptian refusal.
 
It's more about how the exodus from Egypt was the turning point of Jews from being a tribe/slaves into a nation with a shared history and culture.

The ten strikes against the Egyptians are big part since it's flexing on of the strongest nation back then, with the final strike (killing the firstborn) said to be done by God himself as punishment for the Egyptian refusal.
Yeah, that too. I was going for more the name of Passover.

Yeah, it's basically the Children of Israel becoming an actual nation and people with a concrete set of beliefs with after Moses (who was not a Prophet by how those are considered, but I forget the exact Title he was given) being Joshua and the Judges, then the Prophets, and the Kings.
What's funny about Exodus that a lot of late 2000's Athiests were hung up on was the "Hardening Pharaoh's heart" line. Most serious Bible scholars interpret "Hardening of the Heart" as basically God letting Pharaoh be unclouded by the world around him. Pharaoh was basically empowered to make his choice without outside influence forcing him to waffle. The Hebrew word used for Harden basically means Fortify, and basically anytime it comes up in the OT it has that meaning. The New Testament has a lot more Greek and Roman influence so certain colloquiums arise there.

My favorite weird thing is that the "rib" that God made Eve from probably might be the penis bone that most mammals have that humans don't have.

Not Jewish, btw. I grew up around rare Red Neck Jews and I threw rocks at fancy City Slicker Jews with them when they came out to the sticks in their fancy German Cars.
 
Most serious Bible scholars interpret "Hardening of the Heart" as basically God letting Pharaoh be unclouded by the world around him. Pharaoh was basically empowered to make his choice without outside influence forcing him to waffle. The Hebrew word used for Harden basically means Fortify, and basically anytime it comes up in the OT it has that meaning. The New Testament has a lot more Greek and Roman influence so certain colloquiums arise there.
Not really, the hardening of the heart was God not letting Egypt get away before they experienced the full punishment for initially refusing (or at least refusing midway through). Changing your mind about a bad deed because you were punished for it (rather than realising why its bad) doesn't absolve of you of the full extent of the punishment.

Modern Atheists see God as 50% post Jesus depiction and 50% children's school depiction. Old testament god is capable of equal measure love and vengeance.
 
My favorite weird thing is that the "rib" that God made Eve from probably might be the penis bone that most mammals have that humans don't have.
One of my priests said that the Hebrew word literally meant "rib" but had more of the sense of "ribcage", so Eve was literally pulled out of Adam's side mitosis-like. I don't know how true this is, but it's interesting.

Orthodox Christian checking in here. I know we're guilty of somewhat spicy takes about you guys, but there was no "Lenten Diet" thread, so this is the closest thing I got.
 
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