OpenXcom: The Queaky Defense
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- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
JANUARY 27, 1999
Just when I thought we could end the first month easily...we've finally gotten another tango alert.
This time they're after civvies.
Okay, wow, like WOW, how the fuck are they going after like civvies and shit in the first month? The next draft wave hasn't come in yet, and I've got too many promising leaders in the team I've got on station to risk...it probably won't work but I'll have to just send a two-man team and hope it's enough to help out the civvies.
Just when I thought we could end the first month easily...we've finally gotten another tango alert.
This time they're after civvies.
Okay, wow, like WOW, how the fuck are they going after like civvies and shit in the first month? The next draft wave hasn't come in yet, and I've got too many promising leaders in the team I've got on station to risk...it probably won't work but I'll have to just send a two-man team and hope it's enough to help out the civvies.
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2013
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
CWCissey and Connor have grabbed their tactical assault recon gear of the battlefield and loaded onto the Skyraider. They're the most trained in tactical CQC and--and I hate myself for seeing them like this at all--the most expendable out of who we have
COMBAT REPORT
The soldiers touch down no problem. Hopefully the tangos aren't being as crazy and unrealistic as the reports were claiming...
Not three steps off the ramp things kick off.
CWCissey drops one before he's flanked from the side.
And Connor--Connor! What the fuck!
WOOOOOW, THE COWARD TOLD THE PILOT TO LEAVE. He fucking left his wingman's corpse on the ground. WOW. JUST WOW.
What a way to end a fucking month. Now to see how bad a budget cut we just earned...
FEBRUARY 1 1999
Well we had a nice win and an unrealistically unlucky loss, but things should look up from here. We got reinforcements just seconds ago, volunteers and conscripts from da Farms to back up their tactical companions. The final words of the month:
"Okay so basically like these tangos are like, complete like faggots okay, and like they just sort of overall suck okay, but that's not important now. What's important, you know, is like you know BELIEEEEVING you know, like TRUUUUST your FELLOW MAAAAN. WE WILL BE THE LIGHT DARKNESS DESTINY SOULS OF THE MORNING OKAY! WE WILL BE THE MUHREENS OF TOMORROW AND END THIS THREAT OKAY, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE! WE WILL BE THE DREAM GAMERS OKAY, WE WILL BE THE DREAAAAAAAM!!!"
Organic Fapcup
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
Oh, you know I want in.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
FEBRUARY 2 1999
In what might turn out to be an overly risky business move we had Deagle Nation Deux International fund the creation of a radar base in Africa. According to our charts it was one of the highest activity zones last month.
Meanwhile, the science team's work of the previous month has paid off. Not only do we have medikits, but we now have a full tech line of beautiful Gauss weapons for the soldiers to use.
And the discoveries haven't come a moment too soon. The reinforcements have come in and I'm shocked at how many showed up not because of the draft but because they wanted to be here. Please gamers, press 1 for brave souls like Organic Fapcup, Surtur, Ziltoid and Kagayaki for willfully signing up to fuel and finish this fight for the world's freedom. The volunteers will definitely be alongside Strewth as the first fighters to get their hands on the new gear once manufacturing is finished.
I'm a little nervous but I think this is good. We don't have it made in the shade yet but we're well on our way to grabbing a bit of an advantage over the tangos.
EDIT: COMBAT REPORT
The squad lands guns blazing. Before they even get an inch from the back tires Ziltoid and Connor have both shot down a tango.
Everyone has to hunker down and keep an eye out. Screams are coming from everywhere dude, this is FUCKED UP man--
Shit, Ziltoid was hit!
What the tango's mistake was, okay, was it tried FUCKING with a MUHREEN. Kagayaki has a bead on it, and he lines up a shot.
.....he misses.
Okay WOW, WOOOOOW SO DOES MYTHOS AND SURTUR
Okay so just a little #Roleplay gamers, Strewth is basically like "Shit, eyes open! They're gonna fire back!"
Thankfully the tango's like a sped and ran away. Mythos moves up and throws a flare--what the FUCK?
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
In what might turn out to be an overly risky business move we had Deagle Nation Deux International fund the creation of a radar base in Africa. According to our charts it was one of the highest activity zones last month.
Meanwhile, the science team's work of the previous month has paid off. Not only do we have medikits, but we now have a full tech line of beautiful Gauss weapons for the soldiers to use.
And the discoveries haven't come a moment too soon. The reinforcements have come in and I'm shocked at how many showed up not because of the draft but because they wanted to be here. Please gamers, press 1 for brave souls like Organic Fapcup, Surtur, Ziltoid and Kagayaki for willfully signing up to fuel and finish this fight for the world's freedom. The volunteers will definitely be alongside Strewth as the first fighters to get their hands on the new gear once manufacturing is finished.
I'm a little nervous but I think this is good. We don't have it made in the shade yet but we're well on our way to grabbing a bit of an advantage over the tangos.
EDIT: COMBAT REPORT
The squad lands guns blazing. Before they even get an inch from the back tires Ziltoid and Connor have both shot down a tango.
Everyone has to hunker down and keep an eye out. Screams are coming from everywhere dude, this is FUCKED UP man--
Shit, Ziltoid was hit!
What the tango's mistake was, okay, was it tried FUCKING with a MUHREEN. Kagayaki has a bead on it, and he lines up a shot.
.....he misses.
Okay WOW, WOOOOOW SO DOES MYTHOS AND SURTUR
Okay so just a little #Roleplay gamers, Strewth is basically like "Shit, eyes open! They're gonna fire back!"
Thankfully the tango's like a sped and ran away. Mythos moves up and throws a flare--what the FUCK?
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
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- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONTINUED
Kagayaki tactically opens up on whatever FUCKED UP thing this is.
Heh, like, tango down.
Connor moves toward a civvie still in one of the northwestern houses. The poor guy's got like da PTSD and shit from all the terror, this is FUCKED UP dude. Basically the civvie says there might be more tangos though, and after the debacle in the last mission I want Connor on point for anything that might be dangerous
Strewth and Fapcup unload while the others start widening their perimeter. The sergeant's just got his trusty SAW, but Fapcup has the new Gauss Rifle. A tactical masterpiece, it has been optimized and customized tactically by our top engineers for the best accuracy and stopping power to basically take out the tangos, dude.
The screams don't stop coming...
A much closer scream cuts through. It's the civvie's friend. Connor moves in for tactical CQC with whoever's in the building while the civvie parkours outside.
Shit's getting dirty on the southwest front. Kagayaki's run out of ammo and there's another of these floating tangos pinning him down.
I'll have to trust him to keep his head down. Connor's found that tango.
He opens up on the fucker, and like just some #Roleplay, he's totally all like "Come on, you fuck. I'm gonna wear your fucking entrails if you fuck with me!!"
He misses. He misses every shot. WOW. WOOOOOOOW. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW
Artard cleans up his mess for him.
With that crucial danger situation finally done I can focus fully on the southwest group. They've got their hands full with floaters and another one of those big FUCKED UP things.
Everyone who can opens fire. Even Kagayaki throws his incendiary grenade. The tangos are still up though, it's not enough!
Okay Mythos headshotted a tango who was trying to get a shot from the bluff side, this is good. One tango at a time, come on gamers!
The floater on the left's gone crazy, and the FUCKED UP thing's caught fire. Oh fuck, it's trying to charge us!
Strewth puts tango down no problem. "Heh, like, I guess the the only charging is my bullets, like, hah, charging your flesh!"
Artard cleans up the last one nicely.
Things get quiet fast. We're gonna have to scope the last one out ourselves, then.
Kagayaki tactically opens up on whatever FUCKED UP thing this is.
Heh, like, tango down.
Connor moves toward a civvie still in one of the northwestern houses. The poor guy's got like da PTSD and shit from all the terror, this is FUCKED UP dude. Basically the civvie says there might be more tangos though, and after the debacle in the last mission I want Connor on point for anything that might be dangerous
Strewth and Fapcup unload while the others start widening their perimeter. The sergeant's just got his trusty SAW, but Fapcup has the new Gauss Rifle. A tactical masterpiece, it has been optimized and customized tactically by our top engineers for the best accuracy and stopping power to basically take out the tangos, dude.
The screams don't stop coming...
A much closer scream cuts through. It's the civvie's friend. Connor moves in for tactical CQC with whoever's in the building while the civvie parkours outside.
Shit's getting dirty on the southwest front. Kagayaki's run out of ammo and there's another of these floating tangos pinning him down.
I'll have to trust him to keep his head down. Connor's found that tango.
He opens up on the fucker, and like just some #Roleplay, he's totally all like "Come on, you fuck. I'm gonna wear your fucking entrails if you fuck with me!!"
He misses. He misses every shot. WOW. WOOOOOOOW. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW
Artard cleans up his mess for him.
With that crucial danger situation finally done I can focus fully on the southwest group. They've got their hands full with floaters and another one of those big FUCKED UP things.
Everyone who can opens fire. Even Kagayaki throws his incendiary grenade. The tangos are still up though, it's not enough!
Okay Mythos headshotted a tango who was trying to get a shot from the bluff side, this is good. One tango at a time, come on gamers!
The floater on the left's gone crazy, and the FUCKED UP thing's caught fire. Oh fuck, it's trying to charge us!
Strewth puts tango down no problem. "Heh, like, I guess the the only charging is my bullets, like, hah, charging your flesh!"
Artard cleans up the last one nicely.
Things get quiet fast. We're gonna have to scope the last one out ourselves, then.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT COMPLETION
Surtur cleans up another one a bit further down. But that's still not all of them?! Unrealistic.
Oh, there it is.
Oh shit! Strewth is basically all like "CORG, GET BACK"
Looks like a job for the Gauss.
BOOOOOM BITCH #Fapped
Theeeeere's the last one. Easy end, motherfucker, okay, fade to like black.
Hell yeah bitch, that's a night terror mission complete with one casualty. I told you, okay, I told you we'd like rise to the challenge and shit. Now we got a hardened squad to help train up the rookies.
Some more well-deserved promotions came from this. These two are the most tactical we got, I expect great things from them. Also, if I'm not mistaken...
MEDALS! I'm surprised Connor earned the Performance Citation. I guess he was pretty tactical at taking out the tangos though, I can't complain too much. Like, the guilt of CWCissey's gonna weigh on his conscience basically, but in my eyes the debt's paid off.
A good start to something great gamers, we will be the dream!
EDIT: MISSION UPDATE
MARCH 1, 1999
The base has expanded a little to accommodate the new crowd of engineers, scientists and tactical combat operators of the battlefield that have come in. We're trucking along well.
CatParty has honorably left service to continue work as $wagmaster of the USA. Something about his boo disowning his son and looking at other mens' ducks, if I'm not mistaken Framer'll be linking up with Fapcup and Mythos for missions now.
In the labs, our research team has a metric shit-ton of new toys to play with, and they're burning through the list as fast as they can. Nothing to it now but to wait for the next tango ship, the next chance to train up our soldiers, okay!
Surtur cleans up another one a bit further down. But that's still not all of them?! Unrealistic.
Oh, there it is.
Oh shit! Strewth is basically all like "CORG, GET BACK"
Looks like a job for the Gauss.
BOOOOOM BITCH #Fapped
Theeeeere's the last one. Easy end, motherfucker, okay, fade to like black.
Hell yeah bitch, that's a night terror mission complete with one casualty. I told you, okay, I told you we'd like rise to the challenge and shit. Now we got a hardened squad to help train up the rookies.
Some more well-deserved promotions came from this. These two are the most tactical we got, I expect great things from them. Also, if I'm not mistaken...
MEDALS! I'm surprised Connor earned the Performance Citation. I guess he was pretty tactical at taking out the tangos though, I can't complain too much. Like, the guilt of CWCissey's gonna weigh on his conscience basically, but in my eyes the debt's paid off.A good start to something great gamers, we will be the dream!
EDIT: MISSION UPDATE
MARCH 1, 1999
The base has expanded a little to accommodate the new crowd of engineers, scientists and tactical combat operators of the battlefield that have come in. We're trucking along well.
CatParty has honorably left service to continue work as $wagmaster of the USA. Something about his boo disowning his son and looking at other mens' ducks, if I'm not mistaken
Framer'll be linking up with Fapcup and Mythos for missions now.
In the labs, our research team has a metric shit-ton of new toys to play with, and they're burning through the list as fast as they can. Nothing to it now but to wait for the next tango ship, the next chance to train up our soldiers, okay!
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- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
Another mission, another win, okay...but another death. We lost Foulmouth this time
He'd made it through three missions, and in two of them he killed every tango by himself. He was instrumental in getting new tango tech, specifically intel on their alloys.
Now he's just another one of the fallen.
As sad as it is to think about, there's not much time to mourn them. If we want to keep this sick and tactical advantage we have to keep up our momentum.
The grilled cheese of their memories will have to wait, dude. And that's basically what I believe. We have more things to research.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
Shortly after Foulmouth's burial on the Memorial grounds another volunteer showed up at the draft facility. He's a large guy but he seems like the sort that knows how to rape the tangos all tactically and shit, so you know, I'll give him a chance.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2014
Is it too late to be in?
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2013
tfw not a solider.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
Do not worry, denizens of the Farms, every last one of you will have the opportunity to serve the world and your Farms with this most tactical and realistic battle army of the battlefield. Your names will be considered first during the next draft.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
OH SHIT CRUCIAL DANGER SITUATION
The tangos have actually dug into our own soil! Sure it's muslim soil so it doesn't matter much, but still! That's GOOD FUCKING SOIL! This is FUCKED UP dude, just FUCKED UP, and I don't know if we're ready to handle shit like this!
Okay this is a call to arms okay, every able fudcking soldier is going in there and fucking killing the tangos alright, okay, OKAY, THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AND WE WILL STOP THIS INSURGENT UOLLEAGL ACT BFORE IT CAN TAKE FURTHER ROOT ON THE GOOD GREEN SAND SOIL OF THE WORLD
THE RESEARCHERS ARE ALL-IN ON THIS SHIT
THE ENGINEERS ARE IN ON IT TOO
WE WILL NOT ALLOW THESE BASTARDS TO HOLD OUR BELOVED DREAM EARTH TACTICAL SOIL GRASS-GROUND OF THE BATTLEFIELD. TODAY OUR SOLDIERS ARE MORE THAN MEN. THEY ARE GODS.
THEY ARE STRYKER SQUAD OKAY AND THAT'S TRUE FACTS.
FINISH THE FIGHT GAMERS, THIS ISN'T WHERE WE LOSE.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
I wouldn't mind enlisting in Xcom's service and becoming a meat shield or bait for a squad of more distinguished members. I can also be the quiet guy that mutters bible verses as he shoots the tangos.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
APRIL 11, 1999
We're ready gamers.
We lost two of the Muhreens of Stryker Squad to a small ship, but it's a loss we can accept. Their spots have been filled by some hardcore and tactical Muhreen soldiers of the battlefield, and we're still more prepared than ever.
The team's trained, armored, and armed to the tactical fucking teeth.
LET'S FINISH THE FIIIIIIIGHT!!!!1111111!!!111!!111!!!!11
COMBAT REPORT
Stryker Squad touches down on two hangar-type platforms. Strewth's like, and I'm gonna say now there's gonna be like sick roleplay, Strewth's all like "Okay boys. We've trained for this, okay, let's do it. PLAY FOR KEEPS!"
And then the rest of the squad's all like "PLAY FOR KEEPS!" you know, and then they just get to it.
The two teams stack up on the lift pads...
And tactically drop into tango hell.
Jenkins is totally like "Huh, damn...didn't have anything like this, you know, back in the USMC..." and then he takes his corner-checking position.
The first team gets down fine. They'll hold for now, we don't know like what we're dealing with here, okay.
The second, more leet team gets down fine too. Now things can really kick off.
Before Strewth can even say "check your corners" the tangos are popping out of the shadows. Artard and another soldier are gunned down from the shadows.
Heh, the good captain paid them back for Artard at least, taha. No time to celebrate though, the fuckers are still everywhere.
As Kagayaki takes out a FUCKED UP tango, I notice something strange. His health is awful low...damn, the tango that hit Artard must have gotten a lucky shot on him too.
We're not losing him, though. We got medikits this time around--nobody's gonna die by some lameass way like bleeding out.
Those fuckers are too sneaky, they're fighting from the shadows too well. Leo's sniped from the bluff-side and killed instantly, and Surtur takes a shot right in the chest. Thankfully his armor stops the hit.
This isn't working. We don't have very powerful armor researched yet--my soldiers aren't walking tanks, they can't take all these shots by themselves. I order the first team to close their formation, moving through the base together instead of spreading out. Dee takes out a floater on her way to the others.
Meanwhile, Kayagaki has almost bled out. Bung will have to work fast. Good thing he's one of dabes in dabizness.
We're ready gamers.
We lost two of the Muhreens of Stryker Squad to a small ship, but it's a loss we can accept. Their spots have been filled by some hardcore and tactical Muhreen soldiers of the battlefield, and we're still more prepared than ever.
The team's trained, armored, and armed to the tactical fucking teeth.
LET'S FINISH THE FIIIIIIIGHT!!!!1111111!!!111!!111!!!!11
COMBAT REPORT
Stryker Squad touches down on two hangar-type platforms. Strewth's like, and I'm gonna say now there's gonna be like sick roleplay, Strewth's all like "Okay boys. We've trained for this, okay, let's do it. PLAY FOR KEEPS!"
And then the rest of the squad's all like "PLAY FOR KEEPS!" you know, and then they just get to it.
The two teams stack up on the lift pads...
And tactically drop into tango hell.
Jenkins is totally like "Huh, damn...didn't have anything like this, you know, back in the USMC..." and then he takes his corner-checking position.
The first team gets down fine. They'll hold for now, we don't know like what we're dealing with here, okay.
The second, more leet team gets down fine too. Now things can really kick off.
Before Strewth can even say "check your corners" the tangos are popping out of the shadows. Artard and another soldier are gunned down from the shadows.
Heh, the good captain paid them back for Artard at least, taha. No time to celebrate though, the fuckers are still everywhere.
As Kagayaki takes out a FUCKED UP tango, I notice something strange. His health is awful low...damn, the tango that hit Artard must have gotten a lucky shot on him too.
We're not losing him, though. We got medikits this time around--nobody's gonna die by some lameass way like bleeding out.
Those fuckers are too sneaky, they're fighting from the shadows too well. Leo's sniped from the bluff-side and killed instantly, and Surtur takes a shot right in the chest. Thankfully his armor stops the hit.
This isn't working. We don't have very powerful armor researched yet--my soldiers aren't walking tanks, they can't take all these shots by themselves. I order the first team to close their formation, moving through the base together instead of spreading out. Dee takes out a floater on her way to the others.
Meanwhile, Kayagaki has almost bled out. Bung will have to work fast. Good thing he's one of dabes in dabizness.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONTINUED
Shit, Connor's gone. Jenkins was right beside him, so basically this was like
Connor got hit in the chest and went down, all like crying and shit basically, and Jenkins was like "Shit! Connor!"
And Connor's all like "I guess....I guess my debt's p-paid....M-Molly!"
And then he's dead
Bung's made it so Kayagaki won't choke on his own blood but there's still work to do if they get out of this in one piece. Strewth calls for his team to get ready to move out.
Once again we gotta wait.
Surtur finally connects with the rest of Framer's team and slings a torch out into the dark. The sniper that took out Connor's now clear as day, heh, and ready to be like taken out.
Strewth orders his bunch to move out. They can't stay at this intersection, it's suicide.
On the other side, Jenkins and Surtur make short work of another floater. Who knows how many more there still are, though...
Strewth and his squad move up on their side all tactically, watching each other's backs and shit. The captain lines up a nice shot on a tango up ahead...
And takes him out easy.
Another turn, a few more successes. Now they'll fire back, though.
Heh, I guess they had enough for the first wave. This is the first enemy turn where no tangos try to take a piece of the Muhreen pie. Heh, good thing too you know, 'cause like, the flavor...yeah.
Strewth and Mythos breach a huge chamber full of SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP SHIT, man. Strewth is totally like "DUDE. DUDE, THIS IS FUCKED UP! THIS IS WHY WE FIGHT, CORG!"
Kagayaki spots a tango in some FUCKED UP tower looking over the gore. He may be injured, but the kid's a Muhreen okay, and he knows what he needs to do.
He's still wounded though, and misses too many shots. Strewth finishes the fight for the trooper, taking some grazing damage while he's doing it.
http://puu.sh/b3Mdv/667c175c6f.jpg[\IMG]
Finally, the bottom floor seems secure. Strewth gives the order for the two teams to find a way upstairs. The squads quickly find some lifts.
Shit, Dee!
Framer rushes over but there's no tango to be seen. Dammit, these guys are like COWARDS man, this is like BULLSHIT, man!
FRAMER, NO!
And now Strewth's all like "OH FUCK IT'S AN AMBUSH, SHIT" basically
Shit, Connor's gone. Jenkins was right beside him, so basically this was like
Connor got hit in the chest and went down, all like crying and shit basically, and Jenkins was like "Shit! Connor!"
And Connor's all like "I guess....I guess my debt's p-paid....M-Molly!"
And then he's dead
Bung's made it so Kayagaki won't choke on his own blood but there's still work to do if they get out of this in one piece. Strewth calls for his team to get ready to move out.
Once again we gotta wait.
Surtur finally connects with the rest of Framer's team and slings a torch out into the dark. The sniper that took out Connor's now clear as day, heh, and ready to be like taken out.
Strewth orders his bunch to move out. They can't stay at this intersection, it's suicide.
On the other side, Jenkins and Surtur make short work of another floater. Who knows how many more there still are, though...
Strewth and his squad move up on their side all tactically, watching each other's backs and shit. The captain lines up a nice shot on a tango up ahead...
And takes him out easy.
Another turn, a few more successes. Now they'll fire back, though.
Heh, I guess they had enough for the first wave. This is the first enemy turn where no tangos try to take a piece of the Muhreen pie. Heh, good thing too you know, 'cause like, the flavor...yeah.
Strewth and Mythos breach a huge chamber full of SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP SHIT, man. Strewth is totally like "DUDE. DUDE, THIS IS FUCKED UP! THIS IS WHY WE FIGHT, CORG!"
Kagayaki spots a tango in some FUCKED UP tower looking over the gore. He may be injured, but the kid's a Muhreen okay, and he knows what he needs to do.
He's still wounded though, and misses too many shots. Strewth finishes the fight for the trooper, taking some grazing damage while he's doing it.
Finally, the bottom floor seems secure. Strewth gives the order for the two teams to find a way upstairs. The squads quickly find some lifts.
Shit, Dee!
Framer rushes over but there's no tango to be seen. Dammit, these guys are like COWARDS man, this is like BULLSHIT, man!
FRAMER, NO!
And now Strewth's all like "OH FUCK IT'S AN AMBUSH, SHIT" basically
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