I want to believe you are genuine and just new and a bit misguided so based on that I will try and help you have a better understanding. This man has no personality, he creates these fake persona's for attention and for making people believe him to be something he's not, because his real existence is pathetic and lonely.
He has pretended to be with a super hot fiance and have a dog (lies), he pretended to be some Sam Sulek lookalike and pretended to be taking SARMS to gain muscle, this was only a couple months before this trans LARP started.
As a transgender person myself I won't disrespect you by questioning your identity, although it is a bit suspicious. For your sake I do hope that's legitimate and you aren't merely using it as some means of garnering more attention.
You should not respect him, because he is making a mockery of something that you personally identify with, he thinks larping as a teenage girl with a voice changer on YouTube is enough to be trans and literally being used to garner attention.
What did all the money you spent get you?
Despite what he claims, he is very attached to Phil, he paypigs other streamers too but nothing to the level and duration as he does for Phil. It also got him attention, for the first time he actually meant something, even if it was just as an open wallet. Phil has often depending severely on his donations alone.
Even if you weren't funding DSP, the mere fact you're trans is going to get yourself labeled as a lolcow on here sadly.
This is literally not true, he had a thread on here for years before this fake trans larp started. Are we going to start calling you a lolcow and make a thread for you because you've said your trans? No, that's not how this works.
I would hope you dissociate yourself from Phil all together and ignore people on here and focus on your transition and stay away from drama but I get the feeling that would fall on deaf ears.
Again he is not transitioning, and without Phil he literally has nothing else. He knows this and that's why even if he leaves (mostly pretending to leave) he comes crawling back with an open wallet every.single.time. He literally claimed he's been too busy to watch yet he has been there almost everyday since 11/25 and sent over 125 messages. He is a compulsive liar.
I am sure there is plenty more information you can find if you read the thread from the beginning, and I really don't think you will have any doubts that it's a LARP after you do.
You did get one thing right though, what both of us have said here will go in one ear and out the other with this guy. The only thing that can really help him is a strong support structure, the ability to self reflect and be honest about his true issues, and therapy. Unfortunately, again, none of that will happen.
EDIT: And like clockwork a sock LARPing as a woman tips $50, surely a coincidence it started back when Ryan returned to the farms.