OMG WOKE! [Shitpost thread]

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skykiii

skykiii

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 17, 2018
So I was sitting down to watch a mid-80s tokusatsu called Mobile Cop Jiban, when I see the title of the first episode:

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OMG it has a Girlboss! WOKE!

So I go watch some Lupin the Third. Lupin would never betray me!

Lupin Angel Tactics - Lady Joe profile.webp

Oh no, a purple-haired male-looking lesbian who hates right-wings.... Lupin how could you?

So I decide you know what, I can't trust Japan anymore. So I'll trust classic American stuff.


But then it hits me: Prince Adam is the palest mofo ever, but becomes significantly darker skinned to become He-Man. Clearly this show is meant to symbolize the superiority of dark-skinned peoples!

Ack. Maybe I'll read some classic literature. I just picked up The Marvelous Land of Oz, the second book in the Oz series. Surely a novel from 1904 would have nothing dangerhair in it, right?

.... The final twist is that one of the main characters is actually trans! And as we all know, featuring gender changes in any context is automatically woke!

Ahhh! Even the year 1904 betrayed me! I feel my hair turning rainbow colors even as I speak! NOOOOO!

So who wants to bet that some people here won't realize I'm goofing despite "shitpost" literally being in the topic title, and will instead use this thread unironically?
 
skykiii said:
But then it hits me: Prince Adam is the palest mofo ever, but becomes significantly darker skinned to become He-Man. Clearly this show is meant to symbolize the superiority of dark-skinned peoples!
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I think it's just the fact that bodybuilding and tans usually go hand in hand. Especially in the 80s when everyone was gaga over Ahnold. Adam has basically the same body pre-transformation. But he's covered in dorky clothes so cartoon logic prevails and no one thinks he could possibly be He-Man. Plus He-Man is tanned so how could he possibly be Adam? It works much the same way as Clark Kent's stupid dork glasses.

Notice that Adora does not tan when she transforms into She-Ra. I'm not sure why. In the 80s the blonde haired blue eyed California tan look was very popular. Remember Malibu Barbie? Oh well. She-Ra was cooler than Barbie anyway.


skykiii said:
.... The final twist is that one of the main characters is actually trans! And as we all know, featuring gender changes in any context is automatically woke!
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It was the kid that had been enslaved by a witch, right? The kid was actually a girl changed into a boy by magic? I haven't read these books in decades.
 
Dysnomia said:
It was the kid that had been enslaved by a witch, right? The kid was actually a girl changed into a boy by magic? I haven't read these books in decades.
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Yeah that's the one. To change her back, Mombi has to do magic that (among other things) involves a dance and saying "Yeosa." I wonder if more transitions would be successful if doctors were forced to say "Yeosa" in real life?

(BTW don't take this topic too seriously)

Part of the joke is just seeing how many things from before Gamergate would be "woke" if they happened today.

But I'm also poking fun at people who are over-sensitive to "wokeness" the same way SJWs are often oversensitive to stories that do any of the thousands of things that run afoul of their values. I've seen more than a couple of people knee-jerk the way I was parodying in the OP, and I just wanna shine a light on how silly we can get if we don't keep ourselves in check.

Obviously none of these are true examples, simply for the fact that they existed before "wokeness" as we understand it, was a thing, and all still do things that would never happen in a truly woke work. Marvelous Land of Oz is probably the best example here--woke people would be fine with how Glinda's all-girl army is portrayed, but then would never allow General Jinjur's all-girl army. Frank Baum of course was not making a statement, he was just doing whatever.

I also just like to be silly sometimes.
 
Tired of all the woke propaganda being pushed by modern cinema and TV I decided to treat myself and buy the Lethal Weapon DVD collection. Put on the first movie and what do I see?
lethalweapon1.webp
So the Black man is a good cop and has a stable family but the white cop is a dangerous lunatic (no doubt a Jewish humiliation ritual against Mel Gibson for the comments he'd make 20 years later).

So sick of this, chat.
 
Really? The female monster lectures the male ones? She might as well have said she's had enough of their toxic masculinity.

 
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Replacing a traditionally white character with a black person? Tim Burton how could you! And you had to also go and make it an actually good movie too!

Burtonverse--not acknowledging the Schumacher films--is the best Batman universe
 
skykiii said:
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Replacing a traditionally white character with a black person? Tim Burton how could you! And you had to also go and make it an actually good movie too!

Burtonverse--not acknowledging the Schumacher films--is the best Batman universe
Click to expand...
They couldn't get a big, imposing white guy to play Kingpin? No wonder this movie sucked!
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