Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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Captain Lhurgoyf said:
For all the DND nerds out there: Ed Greenwood.

You might know him as the mind behind the Forgotten Realms, the single most popular official campaign setting and the backdrop for most of the most famous DND fiction - Neverwinter Nights, Baldur's Gate, the Icewind Dale Trilogy, etc. He is also a borderline horrorcow, or at least he would be if he kept his online presence relatively quiet.

What's a lot less known these days is that, especially in older material, he used the Forgotten Realms as a John Normanesque outlet for his fetishes. They try to gloss over it these days, but in Forgotten Realms canon, brothels (or "festhalls") are found in almost every settlement at the level where inns and taverns would be found in more sane worlds, and holidays are celebrated by massive public city-wide orgies. Also, incest is considered normal and healthy as long as you don't produce any children through it. In his own published Forgotten Realms fiction, there's a lot of incest - one story involves a grown man adopting a baby girl, and when she grows up they end up fucking each other. Another thing that comes up a lot is rape and sexual slavery, most prominently with the Drow (and another thing that Wizards doesn't want you to know is that according to Ed, Drow matriarchs typically assert their dominance by raping their underlings. Often these are their own daughters). He published one short story in which a group of adventurers is sent by an alchemist to collect nymph tears for a potion, which they obtain by brutally gang-raping said nymph, in a graphically described process.

Perhaps his greatest fetish of all, however, is gender transformation. DND has had a fair amount of magic items that induce gender switching, such as the infamous Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity, and he's always been eager to abuse this. One goddess canonically requires all male priests to spend part of their initiation transformed into women, and even his pet Mary Sue Elminister spent part of his youth as a hot girl, under which he had a steamy lesbian relationship with a female colleague.

For all those non-nerds out there, I'd like to clarify that this is the official default setting of Fifth Edition.

Speaking of Elminister, a lot of the reputation he gets as being a Mary Sue comes from Ed, who wrote much of the lore behind him and was responsible for a good deal of pushing him down peoples' throats. In some older published modules, he exists only to show up and laugh at you if you don't do what Ed wanted you to do before forcing you down the "correct" path. Also, a lot of Realmslore is presented with the framing story that Elminister planeshifted into Ed's kitchen and told him stories of Faerun while eating out of his fridge. I'm not making this up, there was a whole column in Dragon Magazine with this concept behind it.

By the way, it bears repeating that Elminister is an old, bearded man - coincidentially, just like Ed Greenwood - who is the most powerful wizard in the world and constantly bangs hot chicks, including a goddess. Hmm.

Compounding all of this lunacy, Ed, like many lolcows out there, is extremely defensive of his vision and gets upset at any people bashing it, or not letting him have his way. Because he was publishing Forgotten Realms stories before DND even existed, and TSR picked up the license to use the setting for their game (for reasons I have no idea), he asserts full control over the canon. Part of the deal he agreed to stated that TSR/Wizards was legally obliged to put out Forgotten Realms books every year (I don't know if this is still in effect), and if at any point they contradicted anything he said, he would be allowed to take back his toys and not let them play with them any more. In other words, all of this stuff is still canon, even if Wizards doesn't like to acknowledge it, because they legally can't retcon it or they'll lose the rights to their biggest moneymaker setting.

Keep this in mind the next time you play in a Forgotten Realms campaign or read a novel.
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Considering he looks like this:

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That's not terribly surprising.
 
Captain Lhurgoyf said:
For all the DND nerds out there: Ed Greenwood.

You might know him as the mind behind the Forgotten Realms, the single most popular official campaign setting and the backdrop for most of the most famous DND fiction - Neverwinter Nights, Baldur's Gate, the Icewind Dale Trilogy, etc. He is also a borderline horrorcow, or at least he would be if he hadn't kept his online presence relatively quiet.

What's a lot less known these days is that, especially in older material, he used the Forgotten Realms as a John Normanesque outlet for his fetishes. They try to gloss over it these days, but in Forgotten Realms canon, brothels (or "festhalls") are found in almost every settlement at the level where inns and taverns would be found in more sane worlds, and holidays are celebrated by massive public city-wide orgies. Also, incest is considered normal and healthy as long as you don't produce any children through it. In his own published Forgotten Realms fiction, there's a lot of incest - one story involves a grown man adopting a baby girl, and when she grows up they end up fucking each other. Another thing that comes up a lot is rape and sexual slavery, most prominently with the Drow (and another thing that Wizards doesn't want you to know is that according to Ed, Drow matriarchs typically assert their dominance by raping their underlings. Often these are their own daughters). He published one short story in which a group of adventurers is sent by an alchemist to collect nymph tears for a potion, which they obtain by brutally gang-raping said nymph, in a graphically described process.

Perhaps his greatest fetish of all, however, is gender transformation. DND has had a fair amount of magic items that induce gender switching, such as the infamous Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity, and he's always been eager to abuse this. One goddess canonically requires all male priests to spend part of their initiation transformed into women, and even his pet Mary Sue Elminister spent part of his youth as a hot girl, under which he had a steamy lesbian relationship with a female colleague.

For all those non-nerds out there, I'd like to clarify that this is the official default setting of Fifth Edition.

Speaking of Elminister, a lot of the reputation he gets as being a Mary Sue comes from Ed, who wrote much of the lore behind him and was responsible for a good deal of pushing him down peoples' throats. In some older published modules, he exists only to show up and laugh at you if you don't do what Ed wanted you to do before forcing you down the "correct" path. Also, a lot of Realmslore is presented with the framing story that Elminister planeshifted into Ed's kitchen and told him stories of Faerun while eating out of his fridge. I'm not making this up, there was a whole column in Dragon Magazine with this concept behind it.

By the way, it bears repeating that Elminister is an old, bearded man - coincidentially, just like Ed Greenwood - who is the most powerful wizard in the world and constantly bangs hot chicks, including a goddess. Hmm.

Compounding all of this lunacy, Ed, like many lolcows out there, is extremely defensive of his vision and gets upset at any people bashing it, or not letting him have his way. Because he was publishing Forgotten Realms stories before DND even existed, and TSR picked up the license to use the setting for their game (for reasons I have no idea), he asserts full control over the canon. Part of the deal he agreed to stated that TSR/Wizards was legally obliged to put out Forgotten Realms books every year (I don't know if this is still in effect), and if at any point they contradicted anything he said, he would be allowed to take back his toys and not let them play with them any more. In other words, all of this stuff is still canon, even if Wizards doesn't like to acknowledge it, because they legally can't retcon it or they'll lose the rights to their biggest moneymaker setting.

Keep this in mind the next time you play in a Forgotten Realms campaign or read a novel.
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Nice for someone else to finally point this out outside of places like 1d4 chan but even I didn't know how deep that rabbit hole went.
 
Gym Leader Elesa said:
Nice for someone else to finally point this out outside of places like 1d4 chan but even I didn't know how deep that rabbit hole went.
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1d4Chan is actually how I found out about that. I felt like I needed to make things known.

The older RPG scene seemed to be a magnet for sick fucks that people today like to whitewash the sickfuckery of. Dave Arneson, co-creator of DND, was a noted Gorean who included "red- and white-silk pleasure slaves" on the equipment list of some of his supplements. While people like him and Ed are undoubtedly huge contributors to making gaming today what it is, it doesn't change the fact they were sick fucks.
 
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resonancer said:
this is true as far as I know and what more, really fucking disgusting.
I stopped playing dnd when the neighbor girl stopped showing up. second edition I think. think I got lucky
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DND in and of itself isn't bad, and they've tried to sweep a lot of the creepier stuff under the rug. As far as I know Gary Gygax himself was a pretty cool dude, and the rules themselves are perfectly tame, it's just some of the older setting stuff that gets skeevy. I'll be damned if these revelations about Forgotten Realms didn't give me another reason I prefer Greyhawk though.
 
Captain Lhurgoyf said:
DND in and of itself isn't bad, and they've tried to sweep a lot of the creepier stuff under the rug. As far as I know Gary Gygax himself was a pretty cool dude, and the rules themselves are perfectly tame, it's just some of the older setting stuff that gets skeevy. I'll be damned if these revelations about Forgotten Realms didn't give me another reason I prefer Greyhawk though.
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I play Pathfinder these days, being a huge faggot.
 
one of my fav dumbasses from my man Dr. Phil had an update this week:


he's still talking to the lady who scammed him.
 
This is David.

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Make of it what you will. I stumped upon this strange comic one day, and the only conclusion I could come up with is that it's some kind of alien creature attempting to emulate human humor and failing miserably. None of the comics have even a sliver of humor, not even bad or stale humor, not even Garfield humor, it's just, like if you put a camera in someone's house and watched them eat potato chips for an hour, and called it funny. Most of the time you can't even tell what kind of joke the author was even trying to make. It almost feels Lynchian, like a comic version of Rabbits. It's still being updated, too, so feel free to check on it daily to brighten your day.
 
Sorry for double post but for anyone who didn't see it, I'd figure the farms would get a kick out of this story

 
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resonancer said:
n

this channel is beautiful. the comments. Cheers for posting that
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The Madeleine McCannosphere as I call it is absolutely crazy. I can't believe that I didn't find this out sooner. It overlaps with pizzagate pretty heavily. Maybe Jonbenet is a little too old to end up being pizzagated. But I am surprised I'm not seeing anything connected to Kyron Hormon. Although I intend to look.

Everyone posting this Madeleine truther stuff has a similar ring of subscribers all spewing the same hilarious conspiracy comments. I think Madeleine's coloboma (her malformed iris) is part of the reason nutjobs are giving her so much attention. Because George Soros also has one. There's a whole pizzagate wiki that I'm sure people have heard of here by now. http://pizzagate.wiki/Main_Page
They have a section on coloboma. I find it interesting that they aren't including children who have the much more severe form where the eyelids can be partially missing as well.
 
You may have remembered what I said about ATMachine earlier. Well, as much as I hate to bring up old news, he made a post since my last report that just...defies all prior expectations, and I simply had to notify you guys:
JRR Tolkien has written several stories since his death. Not the ones hed’ written while alive that were published afterward, but stories that he wrote after dying.

Naturally, these were posthumously dictated to an amanuensis (most usually his son Christopher) via Illuminati telepathy.
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I don't think I could say anything about this that he hasn't already said for me.
 
Not sure if this belongs here or in Waifu culture thread, but there's this writer of the new Powerpuff Girls who self-inserted himself to be shipped with his waifu Blossom
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I found his twitter but it's pretty tame stuff. Tweets about PPG and how bad Trump is. Anyone has more info on this weirdo?
 
While I'm updating information on the Obscure Laughingstocks I posted, I discovered another thing about Ed Greenwood. He insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that Elminster isn't supposed to be a self-insert. However, he does admit that he does have a self-insert in his stories.

That character is Mirt the Moneylender.

Mirt the Moneylender is the guy who fucks his own adopted daughter.

Make of that as you will.
 
Somsnosa said:
Not sure if this belongs here or in Waifu culture thread, but there's this writer of the new Powerpuff Girls who self-inserted himself to be shipped with his waifu Blossom
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Letting the fandom onto the staff is the TV version of pozloading my negholepoo. It should not be done.
 
Bob Avakian would be a lolcow if it wasn't for how obscure he is. He's the creator of the Maoist movement in the USA and everyone on the Left hates his guts.
The-Revolutionary-Communist-Party-and-its-chairman,-Bob-Avakian,-are...jpeg


He believes that fapping to porn is the same as fapping to niggers being tortured, thinks that pregnancy is slavery, thought that LGBTQ needs to be eradicated via Gulags as it is bourgeois in nature until recently, and thinks that Islam will provide safety and freedom for women in the oppressed countries and that "Christan Fascism" is far worse than anything that Radical Islam can possibly create. He also thinks that the US Military will see that Mao was right about everything and overthrow the USA government and kill all the porn watchers, Christans, and Capitalists and install him as the leader of the USA, and has created an actual cult that goes around dropping papers at colleges and owns a bookstore in Seattle.

He did a pro-abortion thing in Texas that managed to piss off every single pro-abortion person in Texas.
https://texansforrj.tumblr.com/letterofconcern

And has created a Modern Communist Bible called BAsics that reads like a tumblr post.
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This is his website, http://www.revcom.us It's basically Scientology with a hammer and a sickle.
 
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I bet you didn't know that Chris Cornell's death was a Illuminati Jew conspiracy. I bet you didn't know his eerie connection to The Wizard of Oz and the scene with the poppy field or his connections with solar eclipses and the upcoming Superbowl. Luckily Zachary K Hubbard is here to let you know what's really going on by throwing around a bunch of numbers and connecting them to every random thing he can think of. He doesn't seem to know that Chris' mother is a psychic who used to have her own radio show. I believe she also works with numbers. Too bad he didn't research this more thoroughly. But if he did his lunatic subscribers might harass her for info. Cornell's death has prompted a bunch of truthers to start linking it to all sorts of things. Kurt dodged a bullet dying before Youtube.


I also found a guy named Tom Cahill. Dunno if he's been mentioned around here or not. He's another truther nutjob. His main interest right now seems to be the McCann case. Highlights include Princess Diana never existed, Madeleine McCann never existed and sperging over another truther being a little too crazy with his own conspiracy theories. Because I guess these guys can actually go overboard.

 
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Some insight: For those who don't know, RemoveYourMedia is an anti-piracy service that has a bunch of drama in it's name since it allows corporations and individuals who have their own media stolen up by somebody else to file a DMCA nicely and quickly. There are reports of anyone saying that some of them have been also hit by some DMCA claims despite not using any copyrighted material or just something they actually 100% own. Just like YouTube.

It doesn't stop there. Those who file a counterclaim will have themselves get doxed, yes you heard me right. It's like if Dynastia if he ran a DMCA-serving machine. That's not all: Back then it also released personal info of massive Tumblr users.

I wonder how real is this conversation. It shows the owner of RemoveYourMedia confronting the one who's calling them out. I snagged these all from a tweet when looking around for this RemoveYourMedia thing. If this is real and the owner can be easily provoked, I'm sure the Farms will have a field day with this guy considering everyone here gets all giddy especially if lawsuits resulting from a tard rage are involved.

EDIT: Some additional words for a bit more clarity.
 
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