Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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Fgfm has somehow managed to avoid his latest sockpuppet being banned. He's back to digging through posts as old as 13 years old on abandoned blogs to find some microscopic nugget in which to harass anyone who pertains to his favorite obsession, Chicago's premiere northside ghetto, Uptown. It's pretty much him and the 60 year old "artist" posting about it there anymore, his cancer killed it off. There used to be shit with him and Christopher Hitchens, he'd harass and dox people in that community. Really pathetic he wants to fit in soooooo bad on a website largely ruled over by elderly shut ins and people collecting disability for being exceptional. You go Brian, you keep doing you.
 
While looking up stuff for the Gendermom thread, I came across another transgender kid who "came out of the closet" at three years old. Avery Jackson, daughter of Tom and Debi Jackson. This one made it to the cover of National Geographic.

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/21/avery-jackson-transgender-youth_n_7337948.html
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...s-history-national-geographic-cover/95584058/

I don't know if her parents count as horrorcows or what. Kids shouldn't be worrying about gender until their teens, right?
 
Morose_Obesity said:
This guy is such a pain in the ass that the city councilman in his ward has a staff member assigned to monitoring local news blogs to combat all the "fake news" he generates daily.
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This guy could use his piñata making for good and sell traditional ones for kids parties but noo he's gotta go all crazy
 
sparklemilhouse said:
This guy could use his piñata making for good and sell traditional ones for kids parties but noo he's gotta go all crazy
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It would be pretty hard to get Kiwis to get more involved with Jeffy because essentially you have to experience him firsthand or live/work in the "Uptown" area.
But this prick collects a exceptional tugboat, and spends every waking moment posting fake news, harassing a city councilman or just shitting up news blogs in neighborhoods with lots of antigentrification activity. Fucker could hold a job methinks. He's pushing 60 but he'll demand more public funding for his "art" because it somehow fights misery in that shithole neighborhood.

His kindergarten attitude is that art solves everything. ChrisChan is literally Todd McFarlane next to this asshole. He'll actually post a link showing some bullshit proposed art grant and want the "alderman" to greenlight it even though he shitposts all day about how he hates him. Wtf dude.
 
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I discovered this guy from a Discord server and a Youtube gaming streams by a friend of mine. Lets dive into the world of 21 year old, Chase Ballard's life. Don't worry, he's like any other Facebook user who publicly posts everything for the world to see without repercussions. You can view them yourself if you have an account. Just look at this man wearing a RAPE shirt and a "Make America Free Again" cap.

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What caught my attention about this guy was his sperging about cheaters and hackers in pokemon. I was in a friend's stream while Chase and a viewer talked about Pokemon. The conversation took a turn about cheaters and hackers since one of the viewers mentioned hacking their game with 3ds powersaves. He asked the viewer why is it wrong for cheaters to cheat. Obviously, the answer itself is self-explanatory and any smart person would know the answer. But Chase didn't and wanted answers immediately. After the viewer answered his question but Chase didn't see it and repeated his question, he raged and left the stream while the viewer laughed at him. He then went on to discord to play victim as if nobody answered his question, and then left the server for good. He also copy and pasted the same message on Facebook.

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The friend who was streaming didn't call him an elitist and neither did the viewer. But, you gotta love people who play victim for things that didn't happen. You can explain something scientific to this guy but it'll go over his head and he dives in with his facts opinion. It wasn't until i visited his Facebook and found some interesting posts from him. For instance, he explains how it's "morally wrong" to have children and adoption is better. The comments are from his family members and the two likes are from both of them.

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I decided to add some extra highlights under a spoiler because this guy is pretty interesting. He's another laughing stock i'll be watching from afar.
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Comments are pretty long, didn't feel like capping the whole thing.

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I don't know how i find these people but they're a great source of entertainment.
 
Hello and greetings,

My name is glynis and i'm 30 years old and i have had really bad teeth for a very long time now. All the teeth i have left in my mouth have cavities and are rotten and cause a lot of pain...not to mention its even harder getting a job with bad teeth. I'm a 30 year old trans woman living in gainesville and i dont have money to get the medical attention i desperately need in order to survive. For the past 7 years ive had at least one life threatening abcess in my mouth a year....and i dont think i can survive much more going on the way i have been. I know the goal is really high and it may even increase...but thats the starter number i was given my a dentist. Im reaching out and asking for a little help.

Thank u all.

that translates to "my teeth are filthy and rotten and i can't get a job because i refuse to clean myself."

https://www.youcaring.com/glynisastyn-757721
 
Fangsofjeff said:
While looking up stuff for the Gendermom thread, I came across another transgender kid who "came out of the closet" at three years old. Avery Jackson, daughter of Tom and Debi Jackson. This one made it to the cover of National Geographic.

View attachment 219160

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/21/avery-jackson-transgender-youth_n_7337948.html
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...s-history-national-geographic-cover/95584058/

I don't know if her parents count as horrorcows or what. Kids shouldn't be worrying about gender until their teens, right?
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Fuck at that age all I cared about was Transformers. I do remember whacking off for the first time to "Punky Brewster" playing loudly on the tv downstairs about that time, too. Fucking internet.
 
I found this channel while looking for crazy conspiracy stuff: https://www.youtube.com/user/reallygraceful/
She has a manjaw that could crack walnuts and one of the most annoying lisps I've ever heard.

If you check out her video history, Reallygraceful started out five years ago making really mundane videos. Stuff no one would care about much. They probably only have the views they do now because of her new nutjob subscribers checking out her back catalog. Her last "normal" video was four years ago. Then seven months ago she started to make crazy "truther" videos. I wasn't sure if she was serious or not because of all of the silly looking #pizzagate thumbnails. But she seems very dedicated to all of this. If she's joking then her subscribers haven't caught on. And her subscribers are the type who constantly spew comments about Jesus coming back, reptilians, nephilim, the Illuminati, clones, government mind control and immortality serums made from the blood of children. A lot of anti Semitism and referring to Jews as snake people. Everything goes back to the Jews with these people.

Reallygraceful is among the loons who are pushing forth the theory that the disappearance of Madeleine McCaan is tied to pizzagate. Yes, this is a real thing. I'm surprised that JonBenet Ramsey isn't mentioned as well at this point.


So according to this the Podesta brothers abducted Madeleine because of her eye defect. It gives her special genetics that allow you to harvest her blood for youth serum. I think we all know what really happened to Madeleine. It's not really a mystery at all.

Oh and people with Rh negative blood have special powers and children who are Rh negative are being abducted by the military to become Manchurian Candidates. They're decendants of the Nephilim, who may be aliens.


Here's a comment from a guy who can control the radio with his Rh negative blood:
Rh- here. Anecdotal intel, but still interesting and you can try it yourself if you are the same blood type. When I stood near the kitchen radio, it would tune in as if my body was an antenna but I wasn't touching it, just standing close to it. When other people stood in the same spot, nothing happened.
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I'm wondering what caused the switch over from normal, mundane stuff to Alex Jones with 100% less yelling. Maybe it's a ploy for Patreon money. She's got 53,000 subs and several of her videos get more views than that. I found her amusing. But she's no different from her truther brethren.
 
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Dysnomia said:
I found this channel while looking for crazy conspiracy stuff: https://www.youtube.com/user/reallygraceful/
She has a manjaw that could crack walnuts and one of the most annoying lisps I've ever heard.

If you check out her video history, Reallygraceful started out five years ago making really mundane videos. Stuff no one would care about much. They probably only have the views they do now because of her new nutjob subscribers checking out her back catalog. Her last "normal" video was four years ago. Then seven months ago she started to make crazy "truther" videos. I wasn't sure if she was serious or not because of all of the silly looking #pizzagate thumbnails. But she seems very dedicated to all of this. If she's joking then her subscribers haven't caught on. And her subscribers are the type who constantly spew comments about Jesus coming back, reptilians, nephilim, the Illuminati, clones, government mind control and immortality serums made from the blood of children. A lot of anti Semitism and referring to Jews as snake people. Everything goes back to the Jews with these people.

Reallygraceful is among the loons who are pushing forth the theory that the disappearance of Madeleine McCaan is tied to pizzagate. Yes, this is a real thing. I'm surprised that JonBenet Ramsey isn't mentioned as well at this point.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ze7v1cA7rec
So according to this the Podesta brothers abducted Madeleine because of her eye defect. It gives her special genetics that allow you to harvest her blood for youth serum. I think we all know what really happened to Madeleine. It's not really a mystery at all.

Oh and people with Rh negative blood have special powers and children who are Rh negative are being abducted by the military to become Manchurian Candidates.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=BdPBpKlfA8I
Here's a comment from a guy who can control the radio with his Rh negative blood:


I'm wondering what caused the switch over from normal, mundane stuff to Alex Jones with 100% less yelling. Maybe it's a ploy for Patreon money. She's got 53,000 subs and several of her videos get more views than that. I found her amusing. But she's no different from her truther brethren.
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this channel is beautiful. the comments. Cheers for posting that
 
So I found this guy: https://www.youtube.com/user/SuperJohno1965 who has a YouTube channel where he stands up for the poor and disenfranchised in society, or that's what he believes anyway. What he actually does is film bailiffs coming to his door because he hasn't paid his electricity/water bills and then yell and swear and serve them word salads until they go away/have him arrested. He also goes out in public and goads innocent public servants like Police and Wardens into confronting him before throwing up his victim complex as a defense. He also seems to have a massive issue with private security existing in any way shape or form and enjoys pointing video cameras at them and then engaging in a confrontation when they legitimately ask him why he was filming. He seems to labor under the self righteous delusion that he's entitled to use public services but not entitled to pay for them. He comes from Great Yarmouth which is a fetid cesspool of a town anyway and he seems to make it worse for everybody he encounters even at the expense of the people he purports to protect. In this video:

Our hero is filming the arrest of a member of the public. When a perfectly courteous Police officer asks him not to out of common courtesy for the bloke being nicked who's probably having a bad enough day already he asserts his legal right to continue doing so and tries to insinuate that the officer was accusing him of a crime. Basically he's an English Sov-Cit wannabe benefits thief with nothing better to do than harass anybody wearing a uniform. As a bonus his comments section is full of sperging by internet tough guys.

Naturally his kid has autism so theres that:
 
For all the DND nerds out there: Ed Greenwood.

You might know him as the mind behind the Forgotten Realms, the single most popular official campaign setting and the backdrop for most of the most famous DND fiction - Neverwinter Nights, Baldur's Gate, the Icewind Dale Trilogy, etc. He is also a borderline horrorcow, or at least he would be if he hadn't kept his online presence relatively quiet.

What's a lot less known these days is that, especially in older material, he used the Forgotten Realms as a John Normanesque outlet for his fetishes. They try to gloss over it these days, but in Forgotten Realms canon, brothels (or "festhalls") are found in almost every settlement at the level where inns and taverns would be found in more sane worlds, and holidays are celebrated by massive public city-wide orgies. Also, incest is considered normal and healthy as long as you don't produce any children through it. In his own published Forgotten Realms fiction, there's a lot of incest - one story involves a grown man adopting a baby girl, and when she grows up they end up fucking each other. Another thing that comes up a lot is rape and sexual slavery, most prominently with the Drow (and another thing that Wizards doesn't want you to know is that according to Ed, Drow matriarchs typically assert their dominance by raping their underlings. Often these are their own daughters). He published one short story in which a group of adventurers is sent by an alchemist to collect nymph tears for a potion, which they obtain by brutally gang-raping said nymph, in a graphically described process.

Perhaps his greatest fetish of all, however, is gender transformation. DND has had a fair amount of magic items that induce gender switching, such as the infamous Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity, and he's always been eager to abuse this. One goddess canonically requires all male priests to spend part of their initiation transformed into women, and even his pet Mary Sue Elminister spent part of his youth as a hot girl, under which he had a steamy lesbian relationship with a female colleague.

For all those non-nerds out there, I'd like to clarify that this is the official default setting of Fifth Edition.

Speaking of Elminister, a lot of the reputation he gets as being a Mary Sue comes from Ed, who wrote much of the lore behind him and was responsible for a good deal of pushing him down peoples' throats. In some older published modules, he exists only to show up and laugh at you if you don't do what Ed wanted you to do before forcing you down the "correct" path. Also, a lot of Realmslore is presented with the framing story that Elminister planeshifted into Ed's kitchen and told him stories of Faerun while eating out of his fridge. I'm not making this up, there was a whole column in Dragon Magazine with this concept behind it.

By the way, it bears repeating that Elminister is an old, bearded man - coincidentially, just like Ed Greenwood - who is the most powerful wizard in the world and constantly bangs hot chicks, including a goddess. Hmm.

Compounding all of this lunacy, Ed, like many lolcows out there, is extremely defensive of his vision and gets upset at any people bashing it, or not letting him have his way. Because he was publishing Forgotten Realms stories before DND even existed, and TSR picked up the license to use the setting for their game (for reasons I have no idea), he asserts full control over the canon. Part of the deal he agreed to stated that TSR/Wizards was legally obliged to put out Forgotten Realms books every year (I don't know if this is still in effect), and if at any point they contradicted anything he said, he would be allowed to take back his toys and not let them play with them any more. In other words, all of this stuff is still canon, even if Wizards doesn't like to acknowledge it, because they legally can't retcon it or they'll lose the rights to their biggest moneymaker setting.

Keep this in mind the next time you play in a Forgotten Realms campaign or read a novel.
 
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