Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

[ubebrah]

Macalen/MaclovinVT - VRChat age regression oddity.

I should mention first that he is in the process of DFE.
This is not a personal army post. Though the content of his posts is very disgusting, Macalen appears to simply be an online weirdo to be gawked at in horror.

I discovered this odd Chilean freak on a game with open voice chat called Barotrauma. He was making very odd jokes about lolicon and race play, so I opened his Steam account. He has 22,000 hours on VRChat, and runs a virtual age regression strip club through which he collects on Patreon. I reported this basic OSINT to the jannies who run the server he plays on (who were well aware of his degeneracy).

Shortly after, he began to DFE, setting his Instagram to private and blocking invites to discord. (I archived a couple choice posts below) His xitter remains public.

I unfortunately did not archive the contents of his Discord, you can infer what was posted there. If he ever feels safe enough to open his socials again I may make another sloppy post.

 

[SoyRageEngaged]

How it started​

(source)

How it's going​

(source)

Meet Kurt Kelly. He worked in/orbited the entertainment industry in some capacity for a long time, as evidenced by his Myspace page (not sure how much of it is bullshit) and a large Google Photos album that shows his exploits in Culver City and L.A. He also owned a couple of websites in the mid to late nineties: bspaa.com (for his show "Kurt Kelly's Backstage Pass") and a personal site (BOTH SITES NSFW). Even in the 90s it was clear something wasn't quite right. The sites were decorated with pornographic images despite the content being straightforward articles about popular musicians and actors.

Spoiler: Graphic design is my passion (and so is porn) (NSFW)

Spoiler: His biography from IMDB

Kurt Kelly "The Voice of Experience" Founder, President, CEO, Live Video, Inc. Producer/Director Actor, Voice Artist

One of America's most successful media strategists and best-known voiceover artists, Kurt Kelly has been intensely involved in all aspects of multimedia entertainment and technology for more than three decades. His panoramic experience includes the fields of film, television, radio, satellite, distribution, multimedia, the Internet, video games, syndication, marketing, consulting, M&A's, IPO's, funding, charity, International Business, broadcast administration and ownership.

Kelly has produced, directed, acted and hosted worldwide satellite broadcasts, live concerts, films, television series and specials, red carpet events, political functions, news, videos and music recordings. He has spearheaded the development and build-out of complete network broadcast and recording facilities, pioneered audience research, domestic and international syndication, sales and distribution centers, Research and Development Technologies, Intellectual Properties, Patents, Trademarks, Internet Service Providers and Virtual Private Networks (VPNs).

Beginning his professional broadcasting career at the age of 12, Kelly has gone on to serve in virtually every capacity of on-air talent and/or management for many of America's and the World's leading networks, distributors and broadcast groups, including Sony Entertainment Network - PIX Movie Channel, CBS, NBC, CNBC-e, CapitalCities/ABC, Disney, HBO, VH-1, MTV, Showtime, AP, UPI, PBS, Transtar/Unistar, Westwood One, Golden West, Metromedia, Radio International, Kelly Sargent Productions, Fields Communications, Fox, NTV, Travel Channel, Nat Geo, Discovery, and Nationwide Communications. Examples of his on-air work are showcased in the Museums of Radio & Television in New York, Chicago and Beverly Hills. Additionally, Kelly has worked successfully with a string of A-list Actors, recording artists and bands in and out of the studio.

In 1992 Kelly was nominated for and achieved lifetime membership to the Who's Who Worldwide -Executive Club of World Leaders Platinum Edition and subsequent editions in recognition of his contributions and accomplishments in the fields of entertainment management and leadership. In 1994 he received lifetime membership in Sterling's Who's Who. He also has received many awards and accolades for his philanthropic endeavors on behalf of child abuse prevention, endangered species preservation and several other humanitarian causes.

As a member of SAG (Screen Actors Guild), AFTRA (American Federation of Television and Radio Artists), Hollywood Film Society, Los Angeles Press Club, American Film Institute, among others; Kelly has worked personally with some the most dynamic professionals in the entertainment industry, global business leaders, political figures and luminaries. "One day, Kurt should run for mayor of Hollywood," enthuses media executive Jaber AlMuhanna. "He'd certainly get my vote!"

Kurt Kelly has been involved in numerous live global satellite broadcasts, international and domestic television, film, radio, Internet and video projects, live concerts and charity benefits. His roles have included creator, writer, host, reporter, actor, executive producer, and/or director.

Current and Past Memberships and Affiliations AFTRA - SAG SAG Hollywood Film Foundation Los Angeles Press Club National Associations Of Broadcasters American Film Market American Film Institute National Association of Television Program Executives (NAPTE) Numerous others
- IMDb mini biography by: Jim McFarlin and Edward James
source

The peak of his career was probably a voice role in a cartoon called The Zula Patrol that aired on PBS from 2005-08. He has also voice acted in World of Warcraft.

I'm not sure exactly when he lost his mind. Probably around 2020, that's when he started uploading the really insane stuff to YouTube. He was schizoposting on Soundcloud [archive] as far back as 2017 but was still able to remain outwardly sane enough to put together an environmental documentary film called "Meratus Rain Forest Should Not Die", which released in 2017 according to IMDB. He managed to get actor Ed Begley Jr. involved in the project.

source [archive]
Here's a promo he recorded with some actor called Robert Burton:

Spoiler: Documentary promo

A lot of it is just Kurt rambling while the actor tries not to look dead inside.

I can't find anything from him more recent than 2022. He was last seen spamming YouTube with thousands of schizoposts across multiple channels and larping as an NGO called "Disaster Relief Inc". At some point he became homeless. Here's a video of him lying on the floor under a plastic bag while propositioning a crack whore as she exposes herself:

Spoiler: VERY NSFW

Spoiler: Local archive

His YouTube channels:
KURTKELLY KKEI
Disaster Relief Inc DRI #C4WP #LIVEAID #NO1WINSWW3
KURT KELLY SIGNATURE VOICE OVER ARTIST ACTOR
Kurt Kelly ENTERTAINMENT INTELLIGENCE INTERSTELLAR
THE FENIX RISE FROM THE ASHES #THEFENIX (#THEFENIX)

 

[mikeyhawt]

Jenna Westfall/Jenna Loves Cartoon Characters

jenna is an 22 year old autist (as expected) who is really into dr seuss and wow wow wubbzy. she tends to post a bunch of weird autistic shit and she always posts shit on her community tab. she really likes widget and sam-i-am for some reason

https://youtube.com/@jennawestfall

 

[Kiwi & Cow]

Discovered this arab schizo on youtube and logged back ASAP.

All he does is post weird cryptic unhinged videos about gangs, organized crimes and the US government.

https://www.youtube.com/@MohamedB-k4k/videos

I would've been interested in starting a thread if it wasn't for the fact he's been inactive for 7 months.

He hates glowies of course.

Since literally everything stopped working for youtube, I'm not reuploading any video. I was told about preservetube, but it hasn't been working for months now.
What in the living hell jewtube I doubt any of the vids ever get taken down tho so I'm not too worried.

 

[Gambrinous]

This slut has been one of my cows for awhile. Be warned: She changes online handles, aliases, etc. very frequently in a poor attempt to evade capture. She also privates a lot of her accounts on and off for the same reasons. Many, but not all, of these screenshots are from LCF.

Meet Sarah Jane Phelps, a lesser known but nonetheless 24-year-old milky cow from Louisville, Kentucky (formerly Springfield, Kentucky - which many presume to be her hometown). Some of Sarah's pseudonyms include Idunn, Juno, Knave, Lucien, and Luci. She has many online handles as well including horriblebeast, splatterhorn, splatterhorns, melungeonbratz, goffickntv, bpdknave, and many more. Her accounts are still rather easy to find even with the frequent alias changes.

Sarah has been called out for faking her race, faking being intersex and trans, being a scamming e-begger, and many other things you can easily see. The best part about her lying and saying that she is a "Jewish African Native American trans woman" is that this can be easily disproven not just by her own constant contradictions, but the fact that her mother's Facebook account is public and everything she says can be easily disproven. Sometimes I hope someone shows her mom just all the lies she tells online in an attempt for money scams and sympathy points. You can also clearly see she frequently darkens her skin with make up or filters, squints her eyes, and many other things that just make her look like a retard in an attempt to look "POC".

Sarah also use to be married to a Dutch-Moroccan Actual Troon named Basim Guerdoui who goes by the name "Selene". The main reason the two originally wed was because these retards thought that Basim would get a green card the moment they got married. Basim use to e-beg every day on his Twitter but his account, lesbiyearning, has been deactivated. Sarah and Basim ended up divorcing because as a surprise to no one, Basim was cheating on her. Many of the screenshots of her past e-begging were on behalf of both her and Basim.

Despite countless proof of Sarah not actually being a "person of colour" or a "transwoman", many people still support and follow her across various platforms. I have a compiled list of platforms I was able to find either through LCF or my own searches.

Facebook
 X
Tik Tok
Bluesky
Reddit

 

[AnOminous]

Despite countless proof of Sarah not actually being a "person of colour" or a "transwoman", many people still support and follow her across various platforms. I have a compiled list of platforms I was able to find either through LCF or my own searches.

From the fact she's bitching about "blood quantum" I assume she's another Fauxcahontas. "Blood quantum" isn't something yt did to injuns, it's something they did to keep white people from stealing their gibs.

 

[Gambrinous]

From the fact she's bitching about "blood quantum" I assume she's another Fauxcahontas. "Blood quantum" isn't something yt did to injuns, it's something they did to keep white people from stealing their gibs.

Her tree is very easy to search online. Her mother is Virginia Phelps (née Tate), and her father is named Alan Phelps. From what I've found, she hasn't had a native ancestor since her sixth great-grandmother from the late 1700s named Nancy Phelps (née Abbott) who had her fifth great-grandfather with an English settler. And her ancestors onward have all also been white.

She claims also to be a kike through her mother, but nothing seems to indicate that in Virginia's bloodline. Virginia has even made posts on her public Facebook account suggesting she comes from an extremely Southern Baptist family from the Bible Belt. Again, I wonder how her family would react to the things she says online. Is her hick ass family aware that they're supposedly savages, kikes, niggers, and every other racial minority? Are they aware she's claiming to be born with a dick or that her and Basim were in a "lesbian marriage"? She has stated to be diagnosed with schizophrenia and in this case that seems to be very likely. It's rare to see someone as delusional as this.

 

[Big Nasty]

From the fact she's bitching about "blood quantum" I assume she's another Fauxcahontas. "Blood quantum" isn't something yt did to injuns, it's something they did to keep white people from stealing their gibs.

Ye olde 1/64 Cherokees and all that...

 

[Gambrinous]

Her mother's Facebook is a great resource; for better or worse. Letting someone this retarded handle emergencies in an urban setting on a daily basis sounds like a recipe for disaster. Good luck, City of Louisville.

 

[Cheese Balls]

Found a guy on YouTube named TrashedSarcophagus/OnlyInDr3ams. Not really "lolcow" material currently, but I don't know where else to post this, my apologies.

He appears to be an extremely autistic black guy who's obsessed with the song Only In Dreams by Weezer, hence his username. Recently, he posted a video of a guitar cover of the song, saying he plans to commit suicide on October 1st. He then made a community post saying he's not suicide baiting, and is only waiting to commit suicide so that he can play the new Silent Hill game.

Kinda gave me some Randy Stair vibes when I first saw it, but now I think he might just be a harmless autistic guy that's suicidal. Hopefully he gets some help.

Archive (YouTube community posts)
Archive (YouTube videos page)

 

[Cancer Man Metokur]

I found this guy through a channel I found while rewatching an online feud, quite the gem of a man, but almost no substantial online presence.

The beginnings of his journey:

How his quest is going now:

Meet the self-proclaimed "Superhero of the United States of America," DangerMan. DangerMan, real name Roger Tinsley, is an old black gentleman who lives in L.A. in a homemade superhero costume who used to make videos, some are just him recording himself with his phone, while others are styled like P.S.A's, about encouraging children to live their best lives through education and a healthy lifestyle. He's been doing this DangerMan thing for about 26-27 years, and is an African American rights advocate, so I do respect the dedication, but not him as a person. The video's he makes now adays are videos of him rambling about a topic, and giving his opinion on the topic like he's some gospel, and sometimes asking the president of the U.S.A. to change something going down in the nation because he said so.

From his older videos, you can tell it was just a guy who wanted to try and help out the youth as he was seen on T.V. a few times tutoring students about life lessons, but when looking at the comments of his first video, the grainy one above, you can see that he shares the trait with other weird online figures of not being able to take criticism kindly.

Here's some comments DangerMan left to a user named armymansam, who's channel is now deleted, saying he has no family or friends, or spent time in jail, because he left some criticizing comments on his video. He also asks why their profile picture is not of their face, and asks if it's because his face is scared because of a burn or accident. For a man who wants to protect America from bad people, advocates for equal rights, and has been a life lesson teacher to kids, this is not a good look.

Here's another comment of DangerMan calling someone a loser, this one has no @, so I don't know who this was directed towards.

---

On November 28th 2007, DangerMan uploaded possibly his most hated and disliked video, and one of the reasons for this post, "ABOLISH THE NRA, SAY NO!! TO AUTOMATIC WEAPONS"

In this video, DangerMan discusses the upcoming June 26th 2008 Supreme Court meeting to settle the topic of owning a gun for self-defense, and mentions the death of NFL star Sean Taylor from gun violence. He doesn't mention his death again in the video, so he brings it up for seemingly no reason. He also seems to pin blame for the gun violence on the N.R.A., saying they have "blood on their hands." DangerMan seems to come off to think that owning a gun for self-defense or any other reason, and owning a gun to kill, are the same thing.

In the comments, DangerMan says that race is not a matter of issue, then 5 years later comments that it's only white boys, specifically boys, who do shootings or mass killings. Pinning the blame on all the white boys for any gun-related murder in the U.S.A. is quite racist sounding and very supervillian like of the self-proclaimed superhero of the United States and a civil rights activist. He also says that if you own a gun, it will be used on yourself, or one of your children.

Spoiler: Comments of race and gun use

---

DangerMan also has had a spat with a troll named "Pukeface The Urban Nigger Blog" on YouTube. On Janurary 28th 2011, DangerMan uploaded a video called "DangerMan bullied on YouTube!!." In the video, DangerMan expresses his distaste for a troll channel named "Pukeface The Urban Nigger Blog," who made voiceover commentaries of some of DangerMan's videos, DangerMan also calls him a coward, a loser, and an idiot. He encourages his fans to flag his videos if they ever see them and his channel. The flagging seems to have worked as the channel is gone and there is no trace of him.

Spoiler: DangerMan and his fans looking to flag the troll

There was also a video he made the year before where he said computer hackers were on the same level as pedophiles. Not gonna go into it as this post is quite long, but he did apologise for grouping all hackers together, so he atleast did one good move. Link

---

There isn't much to say about DangerMan's actions that he's doing now as his videos are him commenting on issues, gun violence, and he recently promoted himself to being "The Superhero Of The United States Of America." Still now, the comments he gets are people saying he needs his meds, and he's lost his mind. Here's a video of him talking about Trump meeting Gov. Newman while outside near a street, and yes, he's still in outfit.

Spoiler: Comments of people on his most popular video in the last year

YouTube Archive

 

[Cancer Man Metokur]

An extra interaction between DangerMan and one of his detractors, the other guy is DangerMan's #1 Fan. Only DangerMan's comments remain. Posting because I can't edit my OG post.

Found a video of DangerMan falling for a prank call inviting him to attend a school. The troll impersonated the principal of the school.

 

[Gambrinous]

Either I'm a retarded faggot, or I can't edit my post because it's been too long. I just wanted to edit the original post, because I found her Instagram (currently private). I hope this lulzy photo of her suffices as an apology.

 

[UttarPradesh]

Have just had one of the funniest business' I've ever seen linked to me,

A boomer bakery owner from Australia posting the most vile food, along with posting his back and forths with customers that turn violent.

I am in hysterics at this shit. Also, for some reason he has MR. Beast on his menus lmao.

Just now went to look at his other socials and found some very appropriate photos to be posting on your FOOD page?

Got myself a new personal cow.

 

[Angelicaster]

Torte/Croix/Riddle/Eiko Carol

Torte started his career (if you can call this a career) as an average little child, uploading low-effort videos featuring Eiko Carol from Final Fantasy and Tomoko Kuroki from Watamote. And of course peak Roblox gameplay because why not?

So basically, all his early videos are just low-effort stories, Roblox and shitpost involving GTA, Dragon Ball, Jujutsu Kaisen and Final Fantasy. What your average kid would do but nothing worth of this thread. Nothing excepting this anti-semitic piece of gold.

However, all ofthis would change when Torte entered in the Puella Magi Madoka Magica comunity. For people who aren't aware, PMMM is a dark magical girl series let's just say that it's comunity is INFESTED by yuri worshippers and that kind of stuff.

After this, most of its content switched to start bitching about yuri and the Madoka comunity, specially on TikTok and Reddit.

I think that we can still to see the problems here, this weirdo claims that he knows what Madoka Magica is about and call everyone who disagrees is a retard. This would be the end, if Torte wasn't a massive hypocrite. See, since Torte changed the focus of its content is started critizing other people for things he's also done, for example he openly called Dragon Bal fans retards when his older content features Dragon Ball memes.

To show how hypocrite he's, here is a screenshot of him saying that AI hentai is bad, but here's another screenshot of him saying that he likes AI hentai


And this screenshot is priceless

Is this all? No, it isn't because Torte is also a confirmed gooner and potential pedophile just take a look at this video

yes he did a rankign of rule 34 websites, and here is a video of him explainin why he believes lolicon shouldn't be illegal

Checking his second channel (Croix) found more shitpost, bitchery and... a review of a Madoka hentai game.

Okay enough checking the other channels, let's look at his comunity posts instead. Most of them are just screenshots of what he belives are "toxic yuri fans", and let's be honest, it might be the case but this guy is just saying that he's the only one who knows what Madoka Magica is about.

now we're done looking at his co... found something else.

Spoiler: this is how Nagisa looks like

yes, this is a literal kid.

By the way his bio includes links to his TikTok, Fandom, Quora and a Discord server. Most of them aren't that interesting, let's jump to his Discord server, shall we?
The server welcomes us with the place where people say what people have joined, recently two people (no idea who're they) joined and Eiko Carol talked about the chance of any of them being "Round Bird".

You might have two questions
1. who is "Round Bird"
2. how do you know this weirdo IS Torte

first, according to what I've found, Round Bird was an user who somehow tried to dox Torte by swome dumb drama. For some reason Torte is paranoic and thinks that Round Bird will come back to annoy him or something. There's a chance that Torte manipulated everything but I couldn't tell, I'll continue researching, meanwhile here is Torte's video about what happened.

second, his discord profile links to this TikTok account, the exact same who is linked on Torte's bio. The Twitter isn't linked on the Youtube bio, but seeing his posts it seems that is also managed by Torte himself.


Back to the Discord, let's check some of the users

Torte, gooners, two randoms that joined some days ago, Chinese caracters guy with Peruvian flag... wait a second, let's check the bots

Yes, this is the name Torte gave to them, let's check the emojis instead...

Spoiler: NSFW emoji

By the way that's how Mami Tomoe looks in Madoka Magica



another minor! what a surprise!

Moving to the channels, we have the "special-channel" that is brigading plans, or at least this is how it looks like.


And by the way there is the channel named "stuff-i-made-because-i-was-bored", where we can see more of his stupid behavior, like the fact he's one of those euphoric atheists. Or that he followed someone who annoyed him in Roblox to send him a gay nigger sex gif.

Want to know somethign funny? he also uses this channel to post hentai and talk about how he pays artists to make NSFW art of Madoka, Mio Honda and other characters. Disgusting

by the way, did I mention that he also uses the n-word?

Spoiler: Hentai

And to end this post, I'm sharing the TOP 10 FATE CHARACTER I WOULD S*X document, read it under your own risk.

Spoiler: TW: LOLICON HENTAI

 

[Oliver The Chaos Magician]

Deleting this because my girlfriend threatened to break up with me over it. Do not approve this post.

 

[Null]

Deleting this because my girlfriend threatened to break up with me over it. Do not approve this post.

Original message:

• I would like to nominate u/Deep-Addition-5637. They made a post today in r/ChaosMagick about worshipping the Helluva Boss (ultra cringe cartoon) version of Mammon, a demonic god of greed. If you work with him you are bound to become his slave for enternity and this chick (I assume it's a chick) is completely okay with this.
  
  I checked her post history. She is also obsessed with cringelord Machine Gun Kelly and some of her posts in his sub are not normal. She also posts a lot in r/fictosexual. She is "dating" an anime character in addition to a real boyfriend. I have pieced together that the character is Akio Ohtori from Revolutionary Girl Utena. An insesteous pedophile.
  
  She's not been active on Reddit for long but I feel like we could have a new goldmine brewing. Forgive me if this doesn't follow proper etiquette. I'm new to posting on here and haven't looked at this site much in a long time. I just knew I smelled a potential new Lolcow when I saw one.

 

[dcss]

Deleting this because my girlfriend threatened to break up with me over it.

How… do you get to that conclusion? What steps lead you to this??

 

[Green and Retired]

How… do you get to that conclusion? What steps lead you to this??

"Babe come see this I just made a heckin lolcow nomination(??) post on kiwi farms."
"It's this forum for making fun of lolcows and-"
"No babe you dont understand, I'm making the post which means I'm better than them. It doesn't matter that I was in this subreddit in the first place, just-"
"Okay... I'll take it down "

 

[Soso]

Deleting this because my girlfriend threatened to break up with me over it. Do not approve this post.

>He doesn't know
It's here forever.