Nintendo Switch (Currently Plagued) - Here we shit post about the new Nintendo console, The Switch

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Two Dollars said:
The story is still barebones but whatever
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It's a Mario game, bruh. To paraphrase John Carmack, "a story in a Mario game is like a story in a porn movie - it's expected to be there, but it's not important". Agree with everything else though.
 
Vyse Inglebard said:
It's a Mario game, bruh. To paraphrase John Carmack, "a story in a Mario game is like a story in a porn movie - it's expected to be there, but it's not important". Agree with everything else though.
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Oh I agree, that's why I said "but whatever". I'm just glad the story is anything other than "Bowser kidnaps Peach again".
 
Two Dollars said:
Oh I agree, that's why I said "but whatever". I'm just glad the story is anything other than "Bowser kidnaps Peach again".
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I hope they don't permanently phase out the classic damsel in distress storyline, but it is nice to get something different.
 
Holy shit finally the world selection is other than grasslands-desert-underwater-snow-lava, kind of
The third world is still underwater for no good reason, but w/ever at least there's even the tiniest bit of variety
Starting in a weird badlands and then going into cotton candy mountain land is enough of a breath of fresh air that I'm no longer (as) mad at this game for being NSMB with better graphics

Slightly worried over the framerate? This is a 2D Mario game, it shouldn't be having any issues, yet I noticed multiple frame drops down to 20FPSish during normal actions like kicking a shell or ducking from a pair of fireballs.

The flowers are still really annoying. They seem like an unnecessary and irritating addition meant only to put thoughts in the player's head instead of letting them form their own. The voice sounds very punchable.

The character selection is impressive- even if the decision to make them all play identically is disappointing- though I question the decision to make Yoshis and Nabbit invulnerable? I feel like that's going too far for an easy mode, even without power-ups and with fall damage still applicable, to the point where it sort of defeats the purpose of the game. What's the point in platforming if you can't take damage and have your flow interrupted. I'm not super surprised since Nintendo's gotten weirdly neurotic about accommodating literal toddlers in their platformers lately, but I'm not a huge fan. I'm not gonna complain though, this stuff isn't aimed at me at all lol

The enemies are GREAT. I don't remember the last time I saw designs and mechanics this creative- I really love the Mumsies and Condarts especially, they're adorable. Hoppycats are probably the best mechanically, though. How did it take this long for something like them to exist?!

Same goes for the power-ups- I still think turning into an elephant is a weird choice, but the BUBBLE POWER-UP IS SO FUCKING COOL. Being able to make platforms in 2D has been overdue since the Cloud Flower in Galaxy (1 or 2 can't remember) and I'm so glad it's via something as stupid as this!! It's really interesting, and I like how it's got offensive capabilities too! Hopefully that doesn't make it too OP, but even if it is it'll probably still be fun.
I've got a similar sentiment towards the Drill, if a bit less enthusiastically. It's a straight Galaxy port, isn't it? Anyways, yeah. Might end up OP with the burrowing and protection from spikey stuff, but it's a cool addition nonetheless.

The Wonder stuff seems interesting, but it's probably the least interesting part of the game so far. It's just a time trial with some acid effects on top. Seems fun, but nothing special.

I'm an absolute sucker for any customizable gameplay so of course I like the badges, but I can't help feeling like they're the reason every character plays the same. Not sure which system I prefer. Probably badges, but just barely. Shout-outs to the Dolphin Kick for seemingly making underwater levels bearable.

The Live Player Shadow stuff seems like another unnecessary addition to keep things braindead easy, and I'm confident having so many people running around in a level all at once would be far more annoying than it would be interesting... but hey, it only happens if you pay for online, so I guess that's another win for those who don't lol. Friend Races seem fun.

Overall, the game actually seems really inventive. It's like NSMB, sure, but WAY more imaginative and fun to play. I might actually buy this.
Probably not unless family is enthusiastic, but it definitely seems like a quality game. I'm way less skeptical about it now.
 
Anonitolia said:
I question the decision to make Yoshis and Nabbit invulnerable? I feel like that's going too far for an easy mode, even without power-ups and with fall damage still applicable, to the point where it sort of defeats the purpose of the game.
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Nabbit has always been invincible, and I'm fine with it as one of many optional characters. I'm disappointed about the Yoshis, though.
Anonitolia said:
The Live Player Shadow stuff seems like another unnecessary addition to keep things braindead easy, and I'm confident having so many people running around in a level all at once would be far more annoying than it would be interesting... but hey, it only happens if you pay for online, so I guess that's another win for those who don't lol.
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It said an online room contains up to 12 people, with 4 max in a single level. Also, you can just turn it off in settings.
 
Anonitolia said:
The flowers are still really annoying. They seem like an unnecessary and irritating addition meant only to put thoughts in the player's head instead of letting them form their own. The voice sounds very punchable.
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I despise the voice. It sounds like the same guy Nintendo uses for interstitials in their directs, and I've always hated that guy's voice.
Anonitolia said:
The character selection is impressive- even if the decision to make them all play identically is disappointing- though I question the decision to make Yoshis and Nabbit invulnerable?
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Yoshi is like that because they are trying to directly ape his Yoshi's Island powerset. He moves and runs the same way he does in SMW/YI, acts the same, etc. Nabbit is still babby mode as a carry-over from NSMB.

Anyways, I wish the team luck. Will this be the first NSMB derivative that isn't blandy-bland bullshit? Here's hoping.
 
Alright. So, for forming swastikas, there's probably only going to be one way to do it. Post to 4chan to form up in one particular spot on the game map. As in, one spot only, forever. Thats the only area where the whole world goes to form a swastika. Given the infinitesimally small chance of showing up on anyone else's screen it would be impossible at first but then a two to three years from now it should be possible to swasti-bomb the game occasionally by posting threads to get everyone to log in and form up. At that point though, Nintendo might start banning people for idling in the swastika area.

Sigh.... this is gonna be really hard.
 
if you knew how bad things really are.png
 
Sigh, what this game really needs is a swastika flower that turns you into Nazi Mario. His overalls turn into a tan desert uniform and his mustache shortens up. He gains the power to shoot gas attacks out of his hands and a diagonal upwards long-jump while hailing.
 
whatever I feel like said:
Sigh, what this game really needs is a swastika flower that turns you into Nazi Mario. His overalls turn into a tan desert uniform and his mustache shortens up. He gains the power to shoot gas attacks out of his hands and a diagonal upwards long-jump while hailing.
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He can throw you a portable oven.
 
whatever I feel like said:
Alright. So, for forming swastikas, there's probably only going to be one way to do it. Post to 4chan to form up in one particular spot on the game map. As in, one spot only, forever. Thats the only area where the whole world goes to form a swastika. Given the infinitesimally small chance of showing up on anyone else's screen it would be impossible at first but then a two to three years from now it should be possible to swasti-bomb the game occasionally by posting threads to get everyone to log in and form up. At that point though, Nintendo might start banning people for idling in the swastika area.

Sigh.... this is gonna be really hard.
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Sadly, Nintendo already thought about this. Consider the scientific diagram below:
science.png

As you can see, it would take a minimum of 12 people to form a swastika, meaning a minimum of 13 simultaneous players would be needed for the 12 neo-nazis to assault at least one unsuspecting player with their windmill of friendship. What's the maximum number of players supported in a single room, you ask?

12.

Those bastards.
 
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