Nintendo Switch (Currently Plagued) - Here we shit post about the new Nintendo console, The Switch

[whatever I feel like]

Those damn thwomp looking motherfuckers with their memory game shit

Take a picture with the Switch's built in camera.

 

[Calandrino]

Pretty much every Nintendo system from now on has to be portable, right? After the success of the Switch if they did just a traditional home console it would probably flop harder than MovieBob's tits.

I don't see why every console doesn't have a portable model from now one (or why Nintendo might not release a cheaper, non-portable model). The concept was overdue if anything. Hooking a portable game thing to a TV has historically been either overcomplicated or impossible for blah blah blah reasons that no longer apply.

Actually, the Switch continuing to sell well has been such a suprise for me. Surely the market has to run out some-time but not only are we not there yet, I continue to hear people talk about picking them up. As said earlier in the thread I give it another two years before we get a backwards compatible upgrade that continues to switch but is considered a new console in the same way that the 3DS is not just an upgraded 2DS.

Console generations aren't going to work the same way anymore. No more dramatic revolutions in controllers, storage media, online capabilities, or really anything else. Remakes of 10+-year-old games are apparently system-sellers. Maybe they'll go full mark of the beast and discontinue physical media altogether. The big advancements and creativity are all in the field of predatory pricing tactics.

 

[whatever I feel like]

I don't see why every console doesn't have a portable model from now one (or why Nintendo might not release a cheaper, non-portable model). The concept was overdue if anything. Hooking a portable game thing to a TV has historically been either overcomplicated or impossible for blah blah blah reasons that no longer apply.

The new Xbox and especially Playstation are furniture sized monstrosities in order to properly cool their very large components. You couldn't be more wrong here.

Console generations aren't going to work the same way anymore. No more dramatic revolutions in controllers, storage media, online capabilities, or really anything else. Remakes of 10+-year-old games are apparently system-sellers. Maybe they'll go full mark of the beast and discontinue physical media altogether. The big advancements and creativity are all in the field of predatory pricing tactics.

We've been hearing this since the fifth to sixth generation transfer and yet they keep on finding ways to do it. Well, except for the games themselves, we really are still playing the same stuff we were playing on 360.

 

[NerdShamer]

I enjoyed Horizon much more than BotW but both have their pros and cons. Aloy had the better story. BotW story just felt like a rehash of the typical Zelda formula only this time angsty flashback cutscenes out of order because....reasons.

BotW the stamina bullshit just gave me horrible Skyward Sword flashbacks. I just find it so unnecessary. I enjoy riding through the fields in BotW (Ghost of Tsushima did this too but....more realistically)

I do wonder why they essentially crapped out the blah dungeons though.

Also full voiceover in Zelda was a mistake. A big mistake. This however started with Brawl because now we get the same damn actors from every anime or JRPG in every game and its usually Valerie Arem (I have some info about her which......everything makes sense now) directing and I hate it. (Unpopular opinion but Patricia Summerset is the sole best one of all the other voiced characters. Maybe I like her because she's not as high profile as some of the other cast members)

This isn't even an fair comparison, considering how BOTW got stale a few hours after you jump off the tutorial level and kill something big.

Horizon had a more things going for it than Zelda did, except for the "big tech is evil" angle; it kind of felt forced on how that guy screwed over humanity, but it's still better than what BOTW has to offer.

 

[Calandrino]

Unconfirmed so take it with a grain of salt

 

[whatever I feel like]

Hey hey everybody, its time for a review of a game that ISN'T Breath of the Wild, for once, but deeply wishes it was. Its the Switch version of Immortals: Fenyx Uprising, which I mentioned buying as one of several games last month. So I have put enough time in that I definitely have an opinion on it. The opinion, of course, is that Ubisoft took a big steamy shit over a game that actually has some good parts under-neath. So lets switch over to airplane-mode to avoid the Uplay log-in and get started.

The good parts of the game? Some of the combat mechanics, such as enemies damaging each-other and some of Fenyx's powers are fun and elevate the game above "just" pushing right trigger repeatedly. But especially early on when you don't have many abilities the combat is a horrible slog.

Movement feels sloppy in the game too. Fenyx doesn't fly nearly fast-enough, even while boosting, he has obnoxious Assassin's Creed cling at times, his dodge mechanic is over-powered but also what the combat is entirely based around so you have to use it and the constant string of bottomless pits in the game makes you feel like you are in a floaty platformer sometimes.

I liked some of the dialogue, especially that which occurs during gameplay, but my gods these cutscenes are obnoxiously long for the amount of exposition they are meant to provide and plenty of them are unskippable to boot. All this for a character who is intentionally vague (one of the drawbacks about being a create-a-character is that Phoenix him/herself is an absolute nobody with only chest opening animations to give him personality.) And the world? Doesn't feel lived in at all, if you want to be immersed in a game like BotW, this isn't it. There's no awe or splendor here, everything is crammed so close together, each individual piece just feels like another thing to jump over instead of a grand temple or epic statue.

I do like the overworld puzzles though, they are creative and there are a lot of them. They might be the game's saving grace, because I don't think I'd have stuck around if they weren't fun enough. The "vaults", the game's equivilant of shrines, though? They are awful. So many are based around platforming challenges with obnoxious falls to death that take away your health, some with near-instakill lazers that make you wish save states were enabled. And those are the hard ones, there's also insultingly easy ones. They all end with you ascending a series of platforms to claim your reward. And don't get me wrong, that isn't hard, but it is a waste of my time.

I've put enough time into the game that I definitely got my dollar per hour worth of it but did I get my money's worth? Well, I'm still really not sure.

 

[Dom Cruise]

I think the question is are they going to fuck up the Switch's successor's name like the Wii/Wii-U?

The most obvious thing would be to just call it the "Super Switch"

 

[Buttigieg2020]

Hey hey everybody, its time for a review of a game that ISN'T Breath of the Wild, for once, but deeply wishes it was. Its the Switch version of Immortals: Fenyx Uprising, which I mentioned buying as one of several games last month. So I have put enough time in that I definitely have an opinion on it. The opinion, of course, is that Ubisoft took a big steamy shit over a game that actually has some good parts under-neath. So lets switch over to airplane-mode to avoid the Uplay log-in and get started.

The good parts of the game? Some of the combat mechanics, such as enemies damaging each-other and some of Fenyx's powers are fun and elevate the game above "just" pushing right trigger repeatedly. But especially early on when you don't have many abilities the combat is a horrible slog.

Movement feels sloppy in the game too. Fenyx doesn't fly nearly fast-enough, even while boosting, he has obnoxious Assassin's Creed cling at times, his dodge mechanic is over-powered but also what the combat is entirely based around so you have to use it and the constant string of bottomless pits in the game makes you feel like you are in a floaty platformer sometimes.

I liked some of the dialogue, especially that which occurs during gameplay, but my gods these cutscenes are obnoxiously long for the amount of exposition they are meant to provide and plenty of them are unskippable to boot. All this for a character who is intentionally vague (one of the drawbacks about being a create-a-character is that Phoenix him/herself is an absolute nobody with only chest opening animations to give him personality.) And the world? Doesn't feel lived in at all, if you want to be immersed in a game like BotW, this isn't it. There's no awe or splendor here, everything is crammed so close together, each individual piece just feels like another thing to jump over instead of a grand temple or epic statue.

I do like the overworld puzzles though, they are creative and there are a lot of them. They might be the game's saving grace, because I don't think I'd have stuck around if they weren't fun enough. The "vaults", the game's equivilant of shrines, though? They are awful. So many are based around platforming challenges with obnoxious falls to death that take away your health, some with near-instakill lazers that make you wish save states were enabled. And those are the hard ones, there's also insultingly easy ones. They all end with you ascending a series of platforms to claim your reward. And don't get me wrong, that isn't hard, but it is a waste of my time.

I've put enough time into the game that I definitely got my dollar per hour worth of it but did I get my money's worth? Well, I'm still really not sure.

I was shocked at how inefficient the control scheme was, why on earth do you need three pages of controls to do what BOTW did with a single joycon.

 

[Marissa Moira]

I was shocked at how inefficient the control scheme was, why on earth do you need three pages of controls to do what BOTW did with a single joycon.

I've honestly seen worse.

There's some games with hard coded compatibility options where the character will autojump based on proximity and you just hit it when the button prompt comes up which sends the character soaring across the level. However this doesn't stop you from hitting the button again which then stops the character mid air, canceling the jump and instead creating a new trajectory which sends you back to the start of your jump or a neighboring place because it won't allow you to finish the initial jump. Mind you, you can't remap stuff either.

So you honestly just can't have your hands touching the controller outside of the first jump button press or something is going to go horrifically wrong. The logic is so many people play freemium games that traditional game controls are now deemed daunting and intimidating so you have to replicate mobile touch screen control features to a physical game controller with actual buttons. Hell quite a few games now which have main menus, have disabled analog sticks or d-pads from selecting main menu stuff by using Up and Down. So instead the way you do it now is have the sticks act like a mouse pointer where you scroll over the screen and select what you want or either use touch controls to select an option in order to start the game.

 

[whatever I feel like]

So instead the way you do it now is have the sticks act like a mouse pointer where you scroll over the screen and select what you want or either use touch controls to select an option in order to start the game.

Actually, I:FR does this one. Its infuriating and I can't fathom why either. I've gone from hating the fact that PC games were being forced into console-styled controls to now hating that console games are being given PC controls.

As to why it needs so many more buttons/buttons pull double duty for different things, its because Phoenix dedicates buttons to things like his cloak, pick up heavy items and fast run abilities, neither of which Zelda had, as well as giving him dedicated buttons for both sword and axe. They also spend four buttons on consumables, instead of putting those in a menu, just like the equivalent of the Shiekah Slate powers.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my review. Fuck having to hold down a button for a full second in order to do stuff like drink a potion or agree to fast travel, that shit is awful. Who came up with that and why haven't they been shot yet?

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Hey hey everybody, its time for a review of a game that ISN'T Breath of the Wild, for once, but deeply wishes it was. Its the Switch version of Immortals: Fenyx Uprising, which I mentioned buying as one of several games last month. So I have put enough time in that I definitely have an opinion on it. The opinion, of course, is that Ubisoft took a big steamy shit over a game that actually has some good parts under-neath. So lets switch over to airplane-mode to avoid the Uplay log-in and get started.

The good parts of the game? Some of the combat mechanics, such as enemies damaging each-other and some of Fenyx's powers are fun and elevate the game above "just" pushing right trigger repeatedly. But especially early on when you don't have many abilities the combat is a horrible slog.

Movement feels sloppy in the game too. Fenyx doesn't fly nearly fast-enough, even while boosting, he has obnoxious Assassin's Creed cling at times, his dodge mechanic is over-powered but also what the combat is entirely based around so you have to use it and the constant string of bottomless pits in the game makes you feel like you are in a floaty platformer sometimes.

I liked some of the dialogue, especially that which occurs during gameplay, but my gods these cutscenes are obnoxiously long for the amount of exposition they are meant to provide and plenty of them are unskippable to boot. All this for a character who is intentionally vague (one of the drawbacks about being a create-a-character is that Phoenix him/herself is an absolute nobody with only chest opening animations to give him personality.) And the world? Doesn't feel lived in at all, if you want to be immersed in a game like BotW, this isn't it. There's no awe or splendor here, everything is crammed so close together, each individual piece just feels like another thing to jump over instead of a grand temple or epic statue.

I do like the overworld puzzles though, they are creative and there are a lot of them. They might be the game's saving grace, because I don't think I'd have stuck around if they weren't fun enough. The "vaults", the game's equivilant of shrines, though? They are awful. So many are based around platforming challenges with obnoxious falls to death that take away your health, some with near-instakill lazers that make you wish save states were enabled. And those are the hard ones, there's also insultingly easy ones. They all end with you ascending a series of platforms to claim your reward. And don't get me wrong, that isn't hard, but it is a waste of my time.

I've put enough time into the game that I definitely got my dollar per hour worth of it but did I get my money's worth? Well, I'm still really not sure.

I forgot Kassandra's VA was in that game

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

Dunno where else to put this, but a new trailer for Kirby and the Forgotten Land has dropped:

Me personally, I'm hyped. This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually excited for a new Kirby game, let alone a new game in general. 3D opens up so many possibilities for the franchise. What are your thoughts, though?

 

[Nauseated Courgi]

Dunno where else to put this, but a new trailer for Kirby and the Forgotten Land has dropped:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RiPcRCWzcGoMe personally, I'm hyped. This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually excited for a new Kirby game, let alone a new game in general. 3D opens up so many possibilities for the franchise. What are your thoughts, though?

Also hyped. I'm personally excited to see where they're going to go with the story of this game and I plan on using the new Ranger ability (the one with the Blunderbus) as often as possible.

 

[Sundae]

Dunno where else to put this, but a new trailer for Kirby and the Forgotten Land has dropped:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RiPcRCWzcGoMe personally, I'm hyped. This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually excited for a new Kirby game, let alone a new game in general. 3D opens up so many possibilities for the franchise. What are your thoughts, though?

Day one purchase for me.

 

[NerdShamer]

Dunno where else to put this, but a new trailer for Kirby and the Forgotten Land has dropped:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RiPcRCWzcGoMe personally, I'm hyped. This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually excited for a new Kirby game, let alone a new game in general. 3D opens up so many possibilities for the franchise. What are your thoughts, though?

Galaxia Knight or bust.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Dunno where else to put this, but a new trailer for Kirby and the Forgotten Land has dropped:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RiPcRCWzcGoMe personally, I'm hyped. This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually excited for a new Kirby game, let alone a new game in general. 3D opens up so many possibilities for the franchise. What are your thoughts, though?

A big part of the game's mechanics look like they're already predetermined to suck.

Spoiler

I mean granted that's expected it's Kirby.

 

[NerdShamer]

A big part of the game's mechanics look like they're already predetermined to suck.

Spoiler

I mean granted that's expected it's Kirby.

Kirby is all about the easy levels that you can run through...

And how creative the bosses are.

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Also let's not forget what happened with Yooka-Laylee... Even the OG developers can't make a platformer game in the current year.

The 2D sequel or whatever they called it was pretty good, though.

 

[Din Djarin]

Dunno where else to put this, but a new trailer for Kirby and the Forgotten Land has dropped:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RiPcRCWzcGoMe personally, I'm hyped. This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually excited for a new Kirby game, let alone a new game in general. 3D opens up so many possibilities for the franchise. What are your thoughts, though?

I've never played a Kirby game before so I'm excited to try this out!

 

[Buttigieg2020]

Dunno where else to put this, but a new trailer for Kirby and the Forgotten Land has dropped:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RiPcRCWzcGoMe personally, I'm hyped. This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually excited for a new Kirby game, let alone a new game in general. 3D opens up so many possibilities for the franchise. What are your thoughts, though?

Finally, it’s real