Nintendo Switch 2 - For the Soytendo consoomers to speculate about the successor to the Switch, recently announced for 2025.

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Vyse Inglebard said:
The narrator is as bad as Peppa Pig's in pointing out the painfully obvious. I get it, baby game and all that, but even kids know when they're being talked down and pandered to.
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Yeah, but they've actually marked this for children with this video. So they're just catering to the YouTube Kids algorithm with the preschooler level narration.
 
Near half way through march and still nothing about Zelda or Metroid lol.

NerdShamer said:
Yeah, but they've actually marked this for children with this video. So they're just catering to the YouTube Kids algorithm with the preschooler level narration.
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They've banished Yoshi to the baby slop mines for decades now. Long gone are the days of shooting a monstrous baby bowser in the face to badass SNES rock. They just want Yoshi to be dumb baby games for babies, which is fine I guess, less shekels out of my shekel purse.
 
Lone MacReady II said:
They've banished Yoshi to the baby slop mines for decades now.
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Yeah, it went that way because nobody had no idea how to continue the brand after ArtToon's success with it.


Lone MacReady II said:
Long gone are the days of shooting a monstrous baby bowser in the face to badass SNES rock.
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You can actually say the same about anything that came after the Wii, at.this point. With a few very specific exceptions, everything has been watered down into to stuff that's catered towards being "safe" as opposed to letting an bored programmer play around with the soundfont
 
Played the demo to that Donkey Kong game everyone is raving about and it's just a fucking pixel hunt game where you smash the environment up for a fucking Mario Odyssey moon banana.

A fucking Dragon Quest Builders knock off is the biggest game of the Summer, jesus fucking christ.
 
Tom Nook's Gloryhole said:
Played the demo to that Donkey Kong game everyone is raving about and it's just a fucking pixel hunt game where you smash the environment up for a fucking Mario Odyssey moon banana.
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Ah ah ahhhh, but did you notice the Breath of the Wild-inspired Shrines? Surely that makes it the GOTY right? Riiiiiiiiiiight? BOTW. SHRINES. Come on, we're breaking new ground here! What do you mean you're tired of BOTW after it was shoved into everything for 9 years!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?
 
In the full game of DK Bananza, there is more to it than just that.

Not to mention that those challenges are less BOTW shrines and more the bonus rooms from the Country games. Besides, isn’t it getting a bit old to constantly use that game as a point against games that have similar things?
 
GeorgeFloydFentanylStash said:
Prime 4 humiliated Nintendo. So I wouldn’t see much about Metroid for a while.
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They are allegedly already developing Prime 5. I think Ninty knew the game was gonna be bad and decided to just cut loses, letting Retro get a fresh start with a new title.

Sounds like development was hell with Retro being handed a trash-pile from the original team, then creating a lot of their own dilemmas trying to go certain directions till they were too locked in to pivot. I think a new entry could corral things back to usual and leave Metroid Prime 4 as that one weird experiment.


GeorgeFloydFentanylStash said:
Zelda on the other hand is their third biggest franchise. Kind of surprising that they haven’t said shit about a new Zelda. Maybe later this year
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It will be a bit. We just got a 2D Zelda in 2024, and the 3D titles take 6 years now. Unless that alleged Ocarina remake comes this year, I would suspect we won't hear anything till next year at earliest.

LightDragonman1 said:
Not to mention that those challenges are less BOTW shrines and more the bonus rooms from the Country games. Besides, isn’t it getting a bit old to constantly use that game as a point against games that have similar things?
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Lone MacReady II said:
BOTW. SHRINES.
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It is the Odyssey team, they operate in the same form as the hidden rooms from Odyssey. They are a random challenge with 2, now 3, collectibles, a main and a hidden secondary you have to look for.

NerdShamer said:
Well, it's not like we have anything else to look forward to that isn't contentious or an HD remaster. Even that fucking tennis game turned out to be an dud
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Splatoon looks alright, though I wish it had a date.

I also thought the Tennis game was pretty good. Outside of story mode, it is definitely one of the most polished sports titles with a great gimmick and roster. Glad they toned down the wannabe E-Sports aspects of Aces in favor of a more basic, wacky gimmick of special rackets that bring out random effects. Makes for fun combos between character and racket, while still being easily accessible. Still would have preferred a different sport, but Mario sports actually seem promising on Switch 2 if this is the standard.
 
In the latest system update for the Switch 2, Nintendo has added a "Handheld Boost Mode" for Switch 1 games. This option will allow compatible Switch games to run as if it's "in TV Mode" on the Switch 2 while in handheld mode, meaning improved visuals. "But wait a minute Vyse", you may be asking, "doesn't that mean that the Switch 2 Editions of Switch 1 games are even more pointless than they already are?" Not to worry, Jewtendo thought of that:
The effect of Handheld Mode Boost will vary based on the software. Some Nintendo Switch software will be unaffected
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Because why apply it to all games when you can nickel and dime your niggercattle fanbase for every red cent they have?
 
Great update. Improves tons of Switch 1 games.
So far they only seem to force it off for games that heavily use touch screen input like Mario Maker.
Of course it's great for third-party games that were never going to get Switch 2 updates, but it also improves most of Nintendo's games. Xenoblade, Kirby, Smash Bros. etc. all benefit.
Nintendo isn't blacklisting games just to be jewish as you can refuse to pay for upgrades for BOTW, TOTK, Xenoblade X etc. and this feature still works on their Switch 1 versions.
 
Tom Nook's Gloryhole said:
I mean it's a good start, plus a bunch of third parties who AREN'T fucking kikes will be able to drop updates without creating a seperate Switch 2 port.
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I believe you're missing the forest for the trees.

If Nintendo had the compacity to do this from the get-go, then what the fuck prevented them from doing this with the 1st switch? Everyone knew how fucking terrible the performance was on handheld mode for most (if not all) games because they were blasted all over the internet before the damn thing was even released. The whole point of the Switch is supposed to be a console that you can also turn portable on the fly, and the Switch 1 can barely carry the work for half of the job it's supposed to do.

This essentially means the Switch 1 was nothing more than a glorified beta machine and Nintendo made everyone the fucking testers.... FOR FREE! People gave Nintendo money so they could do the jobs Nintendo is supposed to fucking do themselves. Everyone got fucking suckered into Nintendo's con, and the fact that people are going "oh, this is good news!" is fucking scary. We were sold a purposefully gimped machine! If this was decades ago, there would be people on the streets with pitchforks in their hands.
 
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