tl;dr, sorry you had to see this site! i was 12 and dying! this site was themed after shu itsuki groomer au! read more below!
IT HAS BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME.
I want to give this site a backstory :-( i made this whenever i was going through very awful things and did not expect it to ever get as many views as it does...! it's been sent to me multipe times by people who i've never met before, who knew it was me DX i made this whenever i was like, 12 years old, and in severe psychosis. im a severely mentally ill and physically ill person now in the future, im turning 15. i was in a bad circle, with bad people, and some of those people shared this around to mock me. i understand why, looking back on it, because it was genuinely mental why the fuck did i tag this crazy (I WAS TWELVE) and i dont know the full origin of where this persona came from. I know it was made by one of our alters who now goes by Joshua post-suicide attempt (like, immediately after taking pills, got on the computer and began making a website). I am personally insanely sorry to anyone who had to see this and want you to know you are 100% right to laugh at it. You can go back and check the old tortureboy layout in the wayback machine but i beg of you, if you know me as of today, unless i bring it up first, please do not talk about this to me anymore!!! GOD!!!! PLEASE!!! This was such a bad time of my life, where so many horrible things were happening to me at once.
Anything I said about myself back in this time, I lied about. Especially my age. I was being groomed by people online, sexually assaulted by my mother and my stepmother, being sent to multiple psych wards over the span of six years, and made to self harm/overdose more than once. I want to emphasize that I was 12, and I did not voice it to anyone because I did not understand the concept of drug abuse, but I was abusing my Lexapro and my Abilify and would very frequently overdose. I have only recently covered. I grew up with an insanely internalized racist crack addict mother and a deadbeat alcoholic father, and was forced to get therapy at age 7 because I was an insanely unstable child in school (I would scream at children for very small things and reacted with attacking people for incredibly normal things like trying to play with me, trying to hand me paper due to the texture of the paper, and developed an insane biting problem. I would bite other people, and bite my hair as a response to stress, and developed a binge eating disorder whenever they started shoving mints in my mouth to stop me from biting other people. I was diagnosed with conduct disorder very early, and have been diagnosed with...many many things in between, and schizophrenia is ONE OF THESE. As early as five years old, I started telling my teachers and family friends that god was speaking to me or that fictional characters were coming on road trips with us togethers, or I'd randomly have metldowns in the car and tell my dad to hurry up because freddy fucking fazbear was after us. It's hilarious, yes, but mind you, I was (and still am) a child in a negligent family who refused to follow through with any of the advice the school gave them.
My dad left me at seven, so me and my mom were at home fighting a lot. She was insanely physically abusive, and would often sit on my stomach/chest to asphyxiate me as a method of discipline, drag me by my ankles so hard I had burns around my ankles, beat me with my own homework, and hit me with my own school binder (my school in 5th grade only allowed binders, not backpacks) to wake me up. I grew up knowing no better, and the only male figure I had in my life was my alcoholic grandfather. My home life eventually grew to be so bad, I got pulled out of school and into a psych ward. It began to noticably affect my life after so many CPS and police visits, they finally sent someone to give me an observation, sent me off on a gurney, and put me in a cold hospital where they would overdose me. From nine, to thirteen, this would repeat literally three to four times every year. Sometimes they would be insanely long, but it totaled up to 12 visits. The longest being 3 months. In the midst of all of this, I was introduced to electronics very early (my dad is a 34 year old alcoholic kiwifarms user who likes star trek if that helps), I was given a PSP at literally 8 months old, and was given a laptop at six. I used it all the time, and met people online very early. I was being groomed on discord and talking to men twice my age as early as 3rd grade. I even got in trouble for it with the school, they called my mother about it, and my mother whined saying that it wasn't her responsibility and it's the schools fault BEFORE it is hers... (-_-
! After being groomed again and again, I found a partner over the internet who was my age (in the same situation, we talked about it a lot and talked about how vulnerable we felt in them, about the SAME ADULTS, i still vomit reading the old dms), who was grounded for YEARS for being gay, and lost contact with me. I broke up with them after 8 months of waiting, and I did not have contact with ANYONE for 6 of these 8 months, until I got into dangan ronpa at 9 years old and started playing dangan ronpa roleplay games on roblox. They were specifically hosted by other players, and I was eventually told to join the community server so I can join roleplays more often. I eventually learned, WOW THERES MORE THAN ONE!!!!
After running around in multiple games without having joined the discord server for any except for one, I eventually joined the discord server of one called Island Life because I bonded with someone in-game because of it. I made a best friend named crow (Who, as far as i know, is doin well today :-)), who had a crush on someone Else. Who i will call Noel. Noel was, a very bad person. From the start. And Crow eventually left the server and made a callout on Noel, revealing that he was spamming Crow with death threats for not accepting some of his advances and sending crow weird fetish art?????? For some reason, this ended with thhe server siding with Noel, and because I was crows best friend, he moved on to me. We got very close very fast, and whenever we were building something for two of our friends, I decided I should break up with the partner who hadn't messaged me for 8 months there. I took a second from my keyboard, got on my phone, and messaged them on..whatever the hell they were using at that time, and apologized profusely, then started breaking down crying. I was scared, and had no idea why I was breaking down. I told noel that I was scared and needed help, because he had traumadumped on me the day before in a similar way- i had assumed it was alright from that beoing ten years old and retarded, but he told me to focus on building. I was confused, and didnt leave the game, but I went to message someone else about it, and they agreed that it was weird as fuck.
Whatever, I'M RUNNING THIS ON TOO LONG!!!! HE CONFESSED ME AND GROOMED ME INTO ESEXING HIM!!!! HE LIED ABOUT HAVING MY 11 YEAR OLD TITS AND A 12 YEAR OLDS TITS&CUTS, CURRENTLY HAS A 14 YEAR OLDS TITS&PUSSY, AND EXCUSED THE LIES WITH "I WAS HAVING A BPD SPLIT"!!!!!!!!! THIS GUY IS A RAPIST ABUSER WHO RUINED MY LIFE FROM WHEN I WAS 9 TO WHEN I WAS 15 AND IS WILLING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE WHENEVER THEY ARE NOT SOBER!!!!! HE HAS FAKED BEING OTHER PEOPLE TO GET ATTENTION FROM ME AND HAS ADMITTED THAT HE ONLY TRIED TO GET PEOPLE TO SIDE WITH HIM AND HARASS ME BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED FOR HIS IMAGE AND "SEEING ME HURT WOULD COMFORT HIM"!!!!!!!
i was around GENUINELY FUCKING WEIRD AND MENTAL PEOPLE. I came into contact with a looot of people, including...grown adults throughout this relatoonship, who would go onto groom me. One knew me whenever this account was made, and the whole shu itsuki shtick was... based off of. them. This person is now 23 years old and I am just turning 15 uhkm but,,, they are very weird about psychology and gore and fiction =/= reality and they dropped me because they thought i was a shotacon for drawing my oc in chibi but i find out a few months later theyre now publicly a necrophile and a proshipper! Thanks man that was pretty neat. Thank you for the shu itsuki x mika kagehira larp with a 12 year old we loved it. This site was themed after you because your aestheatic genuinely was this corny.
